Month: May 2015

A very strange form of birth control.

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All I know is that diaphragms are a form of birth control.
I am puzzled by that because we all have diaphragms, yet some of us have no control of any kind.
If your diaphragm doesn’t move you can’t breathe so you can’t procreate.
No,you’d be dead!
A very strange form of birth control.
Maybe you can just faint and then your husband can have his way with you.
But would you want sex with someone unconscious?
It’s another case of a-symmetry.. a man can have relations with a faint woman but if the man faints that’s the end of it.
How disappointing.
I suppose you might use a carrot instead.
Well,it would be a form of birth control.
And girth control.
How come?
Sex is exercise,isn’t it?
Being alive is exercise!
Keep moving in any way you can,.however irregular.
Regular is better…
But anything goes today.
Even carrots.
Control..you love to lose it.

Occasionally, some of your readers may see a meat pie here.

He has an empty flattery battery

Woods embossed

He’s as easy  to hug as  it would be  to kiss a tree   on its  crown
Life’s not easywhen I  see ghosts smoking without ashtrays
I feel uneasy as  your lies made me queasy.
Poisoned by  reason
Beat lead.Buy a  fountain pen today.Qouink!
He sits like a broomstick at a wedding for dummies
Shall we beat my cat… or hunt hares? Then ban hunting,for God’s sake.He made all ot none of us
Why not eat your own dog’s food and leave mine for me.It’s all I have since

the cat  died.
Eight hundred men caught one gorilla which took a bus into town..Now he’s

been given a free Mass in the cathedral.Sorry  a Free Bus Pass ex cathedra
Why no elephant in your room? Are you in need of brass monkeys?
Are you on  an imaginative roller coaster?Join our club for the highly

imaginative person
Now you must empathize with the wrong willed yet able to get the country off

my knees.I am worn down by the duress
I say, an empty flattery battery.How discharming
The cat ate my enchillado so I shall eat its mice on rice fried dinner…..take that!Revenge
I said re your novel, Send over the end,not,Go round the bend!How can you

work that way.. it’s real cute.
These friendless words are neglected so I shall eat them.Or shall I swallow

the whole dictionary?
The agenda    makes  my daydreams into real works of art or design
Even a wild man finds a beefburger and fries good once in a while.

Our Father

Canterbury Cathedral (c) Jane Risdon 2015
Our Father witch
With heart in a haven,
Hello,I know your name.
The ring has gone
And sooner than
The yeast was sent to leaven.
So you can give us more bread,
And  please forgive us our ignoring  other folk’s borders
As we try to maintain our boundary fences.
And give us some peace.
Before we go sad and mad.
Ah,women!

Longing, Lessons from the Sea lions

This is very good

Joel F's avatarJoys of Joel

Longing, lessons from the sea lions, joys of joel poem, poem about home and longing Longing, Lessons from the sea lions

Whispers of foreflippers
Swim beyond my borders

In my little corner
of water and wonders.

Universe is unfolding
Offering a deep longing

Searching for the reasons
to fulfill my mission.

Endless wishes
unending questions

Hearing voices
just like my own

Telling me
i’m not alone.

But your flashing lights
and all your laughters

Would make me think
pause and wonder

Just because i’m not alone
Does it mean that i am home?

Copyright © 2015 Joys of Joel by Joel F. All Rights Reserved.

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Pessimum didici.

Iam stem in “Tertio Class”
Fierce calidum flu circumdedit me.
Adfui meum genus scribendi et mathematica;
Gross altum ira multiplicationem
Memini Praeceptor capillos
Pellis eius pulchritudinem.
Statuens fecit iuxta officium
Qui absentibus viris invidiosis et requireris demonstravit.
Quid est, quod arbitror.
Pessimum didici.
Longis rationibus assem fuit ante
Anatocismo …… cito fugit amor.
Placuit somnium lectus manere
Diu scribere, et legere poems in dolosi.
Quid alienae fortunae induxi
Gratias Domino, non sum defunctus adhuc.
Ego numquam iniri.
Immaculata mea neque custodiunt domum.
Et habitabo in reverie
Dum riuulis bonum Taprobanae tea.
Ego montuosa est et campestris, de regno
Skipton Castle, Morecambe maneremus.
Steamers molli Windermere
Wastwater purum liquidumque flumina.
Hiems et Hill Rivington ..
Anglezarke ubi veniunt eo aquae.
Colligendis et civitates civitatem
Haec moris semel euentrem pulchrae.
Liverpool et manchester
Quomodo aberrasti quamtotius scolas
Bibam aquam de Tamisia
Iam salva cloacinis superior.
Tea irascibili facit me
Etiamne semper satietatem potare.
Et mirari zizania
Ubi ceciderunt in rimas.
Etiam in in industriae civitates
Sua vita manet “obstante supercilia oculorum suorum.
Iniuriam?
“

When he went away,Lehitraot

When he went away
He said,”Lehitraot,mama.”
Do vstrechi.
He died, but I’m still here
Yes,in my heart I feel his love.
But why did I live,
And he did not?
Auf wiedersehen
Lehitraot.
Yes,darling,I’ll see you later,
When the sky turns black and all the stars blaze bright
I’ll see you shining in the night.
I’ll see you in my dreams alas.
Do vstrechi.
But why you and not me too?
Araka
I can’t understand.
Lehitraot,beloved.
A plus tard
Some where in this world,you fell
But no-one,not even God, can tell.
God was absent then or in some other place
He’s gone again.
They said He’s died too,
But He didn’t have a mother like you.
Do vstrechi.
My breasts ache and my heart and soul,
My breasts were made to make you whole.
To feed, give love and to console.
A plus tard
And now they ache with grief as my tears fall.
A bientot
My body trembles in the night
As dreams may bring my lost ones to my sight.
A plus
I’d walk across the roughest bleak terrain
If l I could find my loves and hold your hands again.
Do vstrechi.
The bell rings on the ancient clock
As time goes on as normal,  never stops.
Araka
I wish the hands of time could be reversed,
And I was not living with this curse.
People forget that I once had a son.
They think my grieving has been done.
Araka.
But grief and loss and pain will never end
Until the curtain of my death descends
Auf wiedersehen.
Meantime I look at flowers and birds and trees,
But it’s really you my deepening insight sees.
Lehitraot.
Th inscape of my heart is shown to few,
An artist of the lost would know this view.
I know I want to see just you.
Do vstrechi.
But for me there is no
Auf wiedersehen
Never again will you say
What you said that day
Lehitraot,
Mama.
Papa
A plus tard
Tot ziens.
See you later
See you soon.
See you.
You
 my beloved son

Losing my dad

I look up our small street,
To see if you are coming.
I don’t know what time it is,
But I think I hear you humming.

You sang sweet songs for us,
And you could whistle well .
You wore an old tweed jacket
You loved us,I could tell.

I look out there each day,
But I can’t see your tall, thin shape.
I saved your Woodbine packet,
It made me feel some hope.

What does death’s door mean?
Where has Daddy gone?
When will be the welcome day,
When we hear his songs again?

I’ll hum like him all day,
I’ll dream of him all night.
I hope he won’t be angry,
If his cigarettes won’t light!

He can’t write his own songs now.
He went too far away,too soon.
I’ll write down what I think he sang,
And I’ll invent the tune.

I hear him singing now,
He dwells inside my heart.
And though I still can’t see his face,
I recognise his Art.

Now speaks the earth of spring and all its joys.

Now speaks the earth of spring and all its joys.
Now flowers and blossom soothe the naked eye
So happy are the lovers,girls and boys,
As in the  daisied meadows they may lie.

Now speaks the sun and orders us to grow
to open like the flowers to take  his love
To let the life within us start to flow.
From blessings rained down on us from above.

Now every part of nature is in flood
Fresh leaves point down from trees to fresh made nests
The birds are active in this little wood
And dwell in their constructions breast to breast.

Oh let's not waste time brooding on our thoughts.
For we may miss the joys which spring has brought

Writing,is it therapeutic?

Much has been made of research by Pennebaker claiming people’s immune systems were working better after they had written an account of some past trauma.However Fiona Sampson advises poets to keep the Samaritan’s phone number close at hand, [Poetry the Expert Guide]
Writing did not help Sylvia Plath’s immune system for she suffered repeated attacks of flu culminating in her severe depression during in the months she was living alone with her two infants.She wrote her best poetry then but it did not save her.Could it have harmed her?
Well,it’s hard to prove these kinds of hypotheses.Pennbaker’s sample was not random as far as I know.
I have seen articles claiming writing poetry in form is more helpful than modern poetry which to many of us does not seem like poetry at all… like modern music.
Listening to Bach might soothe us but late 20th century classical music may not help you if you feel depressed unless you bought a tambourine and used it to accompany the music!It’s exercise!
I find that whe I am full of emotion the poems seem better but I do not write about past traumas in them… emotions are energy so that can be transmuted into producing something…that’s why exercise helps us too when we feel low or anxious.
Sometimes writing a journal in the evening can ge helpful or even making a little video.Sometimes I feel too tired to write but talking is easier.On the other hand I found seeing myself like that gave me a strange feeling.
I learned that I over-explain things,being too scrupulous
to get an exactness to my sentences which is only appropriate in mathematics.And being very scrupulous is painful.
I was surprised to see I could talk into a mike like that or even hum… and that might help one when stressed.
Though being older and not looking so good is a surprise at first.
All I would say is,do not send hasty letters and emails when you feel bad.Once words are sent they cannot be taken back,alas.Anf with email it is too easy.
Some folk say they feel better after writing letters attacking someone but in my mind that’s immoral.You might feel better after taking heroin but don’t keep on!
I never took any and see what I’m like.:)
The Samaritans phone number is quite like M and S ‘s so beware!Don’t ask for the Food Department or lingerie at the Samaritans!

I find cleaning out drawers is therapeutic.

Bereft from tennis

150x150-52c96c35c30d11cfb13711cfa4231ac4_xlWe went to see Deaf in Venice last night.We couldn’t hear a thing.
We went to see Death with Menace and have been feeling threatened ever since.
We went to see Dead in Venice.I loved the undertaker.Sadly he dies too.
Why are you so blinkered? It’s my nun’s habit.
Why are you so knackered?I went down their yard.Can’t you go in the bathroom?No I have a shy bladder.You should get it out more.I thought it was illegal.
Being beaten never did me any harm.So what did it then?
That’s a very tall story… it’s positively attic.
We always ate fish on Friday until the pond was empty.Then the cat began to stutter. Meeeeemeee meee… ow!

I live so well because you so love me.

In the striking hotness of midday
The bench beside the roses seemed just right.
We sat and talked about the flowers with colour fair,
and whether Love is visible to sight,

The flowers swayed gently, beautiful and rare,
At last the times of joyous summer come.
I welcomed them with soft and gentle stare.
Ah,all too soon dear summer will be gone.

The sun was at the apex of the sky.
We caught the moment like a netted fish.
And as we looked the broad white clouds blew by.
While we enjoyed fulfilment of our wish,

I live so well because you so love me.
And even after death this truth shall be.


	


	



			
				


			

			
To raise my self esteem I am
		
	
	

		
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To raise my self esteem I am


1] Following my selves on Facebook.

2]Getting a new hair style…a red wig

3]Having my eyelash tinted.

4]Buying some long lasting blue lipstick.

5]Going to visit all my friend.

6]Relearning how to do long division

7]Buying some glue to joing my split off selves together.

8]Giving up helping others unless they really need it

9] Listening to Radio 3 more.

10] Realise self esteem is not important and recalling how nice it is to forget one’s self in being creative,baking,gardening etc