Day: March 23, 2015

In a mitten

I mistook a photo of a mitten for a dress [true]

boy and girl

I went out in a mitten last night
I gave all the neighbours a fright.
They are collecting for me
To buy me some tea….
Now a tea bag would be a fine sight.

Or how about being dressed in some peel
Which off any banana I’d steal.
Then I’d give men the slip
As they slid off my hip
Some days I almost feel real.

All the winter coats are being sold off
As the autumn was not freezing or rough.
But I wear woolen vests,
Which keep off the pests.
Though men’s skin is still somewhat tough.

I am an attachment

Tulip

Tulip

Green woodpecker

Green woodpecker

Source: Mike Flemming UK copyright

Stan was polishing the door knocker with Duraglit. brass polish.

Mary was upstairs working at her desk reading an article on

algebraic numbers and sorting out her post.

She got an instant message from a former colleague in the maths

Department.

Hi,Mary.how are you?

I’m fine,Tim.How are you?

Well,I really miss the department!

I’m sorry.

Actually Mary,it’s you I miss.

But you hardly ever spoke to me.

No,but i looked at you.You are very beautiful.

Well,you are very handsome.

You know what I’d like?

No.

I’d like a photo of you in your underwear.

I haven’t got any photos!

Can’t you get some?

Well,I suppose i could use my webcam and photograph my top half.

Oh. how nice!

Then i guess I could sit on the photocopier and photograph my bottom
but I don’t think I can do them both at once.

How about you to to a pool in a bikini?

http://youtu.be/ICkWjdQuK7Q

I don’t wear a bikini.

I don’t mind if you are nude!

Well,I am a bit startled by this.I thought all we shared was an interest in quadratic forms.

Well,I’ve moved on to your form,Mary.

Well,you know I have Asperger’s Syndrome.

I thought he looked lonely.

Do you know him?

Not in the Biblical sense!Just to speak too.

I thought he was dead.

Not at all…he’s turned into a parrot.Meanwhile how about some minimalist photos?

No,,you’ll have to meet me in Cafe Zero.

Which one?

In Knittingham.

Will I recognize you by the bikini?

Why do you like bikinis so much?

I’ll see what my therapist thinks.

I want to know what you think.

I love you,Mary.

Well,since Stan has Annie I guess I can have coffee with you.
Then we can discuss Platonic forms.

While I look at your form.

Is that my Health Form?

No,your bodily form.

I have no body now!

What happened?

I’ve been downloaded into the new computer.

I thought your voice sounded odd.

Shall I email myself as an attachment to you?

I’d like to think about that.

Well.goodbye Tim.

Goodbye,you little minx.

A minx…what next?

Bring me your minx,dill,dilly

Bring me your inks

when I’m in love,dilly,dilly,

I love those links.

 

Emptiness

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This is a preliminary attempt to examine the ideas about emptiness. I once quoted Lao Tzu
“Hollow vessels are useful by reason of their emptiness.”
But emptiness is not just one concept.
To make an initial point,our first notions of emptiness are related to the stomach.An empty one is painful to the infant who cries until fed.A full stomach then feels pleasant.
But a stomach can be empty in a good way….and there is a feeling of desire and appetite,So this can feel good.On the other hand there is the emptiness of a stomach which has just vomited up something bad and is reluctant to take in anything new for a while.hopefully desire will return.
Anxiety can take away appetite and keep the stomach empty when it needs to be filled with good food.If this continues we become ill.
Anorexics may keep themselves empty as a mistaken form of self control.
Ideally there is a movement between fullness and emptiness.We need to be empty for the right things.A woman may have an empty womb crying out for a child but by mistake she may fill up with food instead.So we need to know what we are empty for.
Empty headedness can be bad…if you have never received anything good into your mind like poetry,classic literature etc you will be a poor person indeed.On the other hand people get creative ideas when they are half dreaming,resting,in the bath and so on.
There is a little more space in the mind for a new idea to emerge.But the idea will have meaning only within a structure that is already partly there within the mind.
The answer to a writer’s block won’t come to someone who never writes.The block may be a creative void but it’s no good if one’s entire mind is a total void.
The emptiness needs a container.
We rush to fill out empty sad hearts when we feel we can’t contain them within ourselves,as holding them may be agonisingly painful.
Emptiness per se may not achieve much.But watch a new baby.They are looking and taking in both food and sensory impressions.And how the mind is growing,if conditions are favourable.
An empty table is no good to an empty stomach.A professor with no knowledge/learning will not give anything to the empty headed students to take in
Or biologically,the egg needs the sperm but the fertilized egg needs the kindness of the nurturing Womb and the ability of the woman to be there whilst development occurs over time……and for woman we could put artist or writer,speaking in metaphor.
My thoughts end now! A need for space has arrived

Symbols in the rain

So then you went away,
soft blue September day.
How love disappeared-
you suddenly weren’t here.
Losing you was not
An experience to forget
Earthquakes in my heart
Since we were drawn apart.
My heart in fragments then.
A jigsaw to begin
Now I am fresh born.
A stained glass window formed,
From fragments stuck with glue.
A pattern came anew.
My heart is tougher now
A strength within me grew
The way I had to go……..
Life’s deep river flowed
Only now I know…………..
Earthquakes in our hearts
We all know our parts
my life comes anew
Since I’m not bound to you.
New patterns can be made
From life’s colours and shades.
Not what I first chose.
I was one of those
Who planned my life ahead;
But what I got instead,
Feelings newly born.
When my own soul was harmed
Cracks let in the rain,
And I broke up again.
Not what I had planned
When my adult life began.
I don’t know where you are
But though you’re gone,I care.
I don’t hold on to hate,
As a terminal life state
I saw the ground split wide.
As I broke up deep inside.
What is in or out?
In pain,perception’s doubt.
From that fragmented state
My new self was made
Earthquake in my heart,
Love had made a start.
But patterns can be wrong.
That love did not stay long,
The pattern was destroyed.
Hate by heart employed
Made patterns subtly new.
I was sad that I lost you,but
Earthquake in my heart,
Gave me another start.
Stained glass window panes
Look through in the rain.
Stained glass colours glow
My eyes  light  and I know.
Stained glass in the rain
I will feel love again.
Stained glass colours glow
Inner light will show.
Earthquake in my heart
I’ll make another start.
Standing in the rain
Living through the pain.
Colours will now blend
And my heart will mend.
Earthquake in my heart
When my lover went
Earthquake in my soul
One day I’ll be whole.
Stained glass mirrors gleam
Life’s not what I dreamed.
Symbols in the rain
Symbols of shared pain.
Mirrors of my heart
Shattered into parts.
Bleeding wounds will heal.
This is how life feels.
Earthquakes in my heart
When my love departs.

Mary goes to the clinic

jug and bottles 4

Mary was sitting down feeling quite lonely in the waiting room  outside the doctor’s office when she saw Emile hiding under a chair..

What are you doing,she whispered.I’m glad of your company though.

I jumped into your cab, the cheeky cat informed her proudly

I want to be there when he examines you in case he makes vulgar remarks

Don’t worry,she answered,they always have a chaperone nowadays.

Just then a pretty young black nurse  took Mary into a room and said to her

Take off your underpants!

I don’t wear underpants,said Mary,but I can go home and get my husband’s if you want me to.

We use underpants as a generic term,the nurse informed her in a kindly  yet menacing voice.

Wow,they are so intelligent nowadays,I don’t think I knew what generic meant till recently Mary told herself stupidly

I have no underpants,Emile mewed. crossly

No and I am not making you any.I have quite enough washing to do already.Mary responded like a mother.

It’s not fair, said Emile.All my friends have underpants and T shirts too.

Soon the doctor came in and looked nervously at Mary and  then at her   female parts.

Mary was used to this but all of a sudden she got a  nasty pain

Ow,ow,ow,she shrieked,what is that?

It’s ok,said the nurse,just old ladies are not used to this sort of thing.

I’ll have you know many older ladies are very used to it but not when they are unaroused.Besides men’s organs are  kinder than metal or plastic if the lady is willing.Can’t you put more lubricant on the damned thing

The doctor tried to remove the speculum but was clearly somewhat agitated.

Ouch,cried Mary.Ouch.

Thank goodness I didn’t know it would hurt.Do you think we should be shown a romantic mildly arousing film in the waiting room to make it easier?

We can’t do that,said the nurse.We might be accused of running a brothel.Still we  could use more money in here.

But the doctor is not paying me,said Mary.I am paying him, in a sense,as a taxpayer.And you too,dear.

You are too clever for me,said the nurse sharply as she admired Mary’s  tan leather handbag from TKMaxx stuffed with set squares and cameras

I shall bring a vibrator next time,Mary told her,though  she had never even seen a vibrator except in a picture.Still.she had to say something.And why should she not benefit from modern science?Boots sell them,she seemed to recall…

You can’t bring a vibrator in here  or the doctor  will be angry ,as he might be accused of misconduct if you enjoyed yourself, the nurse whispered, though  why should you not enjoy it,she said in a  puzzled tone as if she had never thought like this before.

I thought it was only misconduct if he enjoyed himself,Mary cried loudly and planitively

He has seen so many ladies, it is just like seeing into a mouth for him,said the nurse churlishly thus taking away Mary’s pride in her unique anatomy.

I expect one gets used to anything in time,Mary murmured,but I hope he will not need to do that again to me.

No,  you seem ok,the doctor said,but I seem to imagine  I  can see a cat under the table.What is he doing?

I am just keeping an eye on you,mewed Emile.I live with Mary.

No animals are  allowed in here ,the doctor shouted in a paranoid manner.

A bit late now,meowed the cat.Are you sending for the cat police?

Dr.Grey picked up  a very large speculum and threatened to strike Emile with it

Now then,said the nurse, he might scratch my legs.Leave him alone.He’s just protecting her.And I had just sterilised that.

Fat lot of good Emile was,Mary thought.

scan000221

The doctor approached Mary and told her she would be seeing a consultant soon… in the meantime should she  do anything to prepare… she asked.

Well, do try to relax if you can, he told her gently.It is trying for ladies  of riper years to attend hospitals but we only want to help you.

I’ll have to help myself,Mary thought wryly lauging inside as she got down off the table and put on her red and purple knickers or “underpants” as they are now referred to as.

Thank God,that is over,she whispered to Emile.Let’s run out and get a cab.

She hobbled to the door and phoned the taxi firm  with her mobile.I just want to get home she told the driver.

Don’t we all, he said in an Eton accent.Surely it’s not David Cameron in disguise canvassing patients?Thank God he’s not conducting pelvic exams on them!That would lose him the election whether he was  any good or not… in my view,but then what do I know about the British electorate?It might be the key to our future as a nation.Think about it!

Stan and his deodorant

Stan was looking out of his bay window at the old rowan tree. in front of their semi detached house in a quiet  tree lined avenue in Knittingham.After some intense sunshine in August,its leaves had withered and he thought it might be dead.He had his microfibre cloth but was not even pretending to clean the window…. one of his duties in the home
He was thinking pensively because  his wife Mary had told him he ought to be wearing an antiperspirant when they had a row the night before.
“But I’m 105,” he cried.”Surely,I don’t need an antiperspirant  now?”
“Don’t exaggerate,”Mary replied,”You are only 75Do you  need Cognitive Age  Truth  Therapy as well”
“But do I smell nasty,” he asked her…ignoring the  faint hint he was exaggerating pathologically about his age.
“Well,it says in the Telegraph that all the Top People now wear deodorants.”
“Good grief, what made you read the Telegraph,that right wing apology for a newspaper?And I should say the  present government certainly need  strong deodorants.I have a good wash every day and a bath once in a blue moon…I am clean enough for my mistress!”Annie his mistress lived right next door to the surprise of all who thought they  knew them well.
“Well,I am taking you to Boot’s tomorrow to find one”
“How dare you order me about  like this.Even if I wanted to wear a deodorant I wouldn’tt tolerate being  spoken to like that.~I am a man and I smell the same as always ;why don’t you buy me a new sponge and some decent soap in Sainsburys instead of this lavender rubbish.”
Mary began to sob quietly
“What’s wrong,my little jacket potato.” he asked her gently in the language of  the North British.
“Well,maybe it’s my therapy…I have been recollecting memories of girls teasing me because we had only a tin bath in our house and no bathroom.It was cold going to the lavatory down the backyard as well,especially when I got dysmenorhea………….otherwise known as period pains, when I might be there half an hour.
So I guess I thought I might smell nasty.I am reliving the pain and anguish and as a defense I am projecting my fear onto you,That’s maybe why I was so rude to you.”
“Eeh,by gum,she’s swallowed the Dictionary of Psychoanalysis not to mention the Encarta  too”thought Emile their smiling tom cat.
“Well,you do smell.Like honey… you smell just the way I like a woman to smell…Natural”
“How would you describe it,my onion pie?”
“Like a cat on heat ,my honeybum” he answered tenderly yet manfully.
“But surely you have never had intercourse with a cat?” she queried nervously yet longingly.
“No,not sexual intercourse, but I have slept with many lady cats and I know  well their varying smells,their mews and their claws.”
“Just like me” whispered Emile,” and I like how women smell too.I like perfume..especially Poison and Chanel Nr5″
“So I shall  come to Boots with you and I shall buy you some perfume.Then we can have coffee and cake somewhere for a real treat.” Stan told Mary assertively.She kissed his fair white cheek.. now a little red from the sun,
“I like coffee and cake,”purred Emile,”And I want a deodorant and some cologne. and a few other things”
“I think I could put you in my It bag “,said Mary kindly….which would be a pleasant change for Emile.They often left him alone in the house though he could drop into Annie’s at any time…and watch her tidying her make up box out or having a bath with lots of foam.Emile adored her,
So soon they will be on their way into town in their best clothes.Will Emile sit on a chair or will he stand on Stan’s knee.Wait patiently…. he might break his saucer.
The future is fiction