On Things Best Left Unsaid

Very much worth reading

“I read 50 Shades of Gray. It was interesting.” Right. I was enjoying my meal but now…
Adding “for your age” to any sentence. A swing and a miss in the compliment arena.
“Hold on. I need to take a selfie.” Selfies are never needed.
After a meal: “Oh God I’m so full.” A simple “Loved the meal” will suffice. How you stuffed yourself to discomfort can remain a secret.
“You look tired.” Gee, thanks. I didn’t realize. Now I’ll go about my day as normally as possible.
When giving a present: “It was on sale.” Pat yourself on the back for the bargain instead of announcing it.
When receiving a present: “Is there a gift receipt?” Woe is the gift giver in this situation!
“I need more fiber in my diet.” Eww.
“Do you want your upper lip waxed?” This should never be offered. Ever. End…

Difficult books

I am still surrounded by difficult yet interesting books and wonder if I should do a degree in philosophy first!So another day gone without me writing a post.Still there are the twp reblogs you can look at meantime….

So watch this space

I’m never quite sure what eyes can see

When I was alive and a girl what’s more
I never went to bed in case I snored…
I avoided the bathroom and never used soap
Unless it was dangling from a rope.

Unless it was examined through a microscope.

When I was a girl and never saw a boy
I bought some plasticine and made a toy.
I never went to bed alone at night
I took a cat which sure could bite.

I took a cat and we had a fight..

When I was a ghost I haunted fools
Like the teacher at my school.
I never went to bed as I never sleep…
And then I fall into a heap.

And then I fall into the deep.

When I was a woman I was claimed by a man,,
He said,I have a frying pan.
We went to bed and he knew me…
And all my body was his to see.

And all my body was buzzing like a bee……

Then I grew old and withered and lined
We both fell into a decline.
We went to bed and we kissed and joked
Lit cigarettes and we both smoked.

Lit cigarettes and we both stroked.

What had caused me to behave with depravity.

Sometimes I just write to make myself laugh and I hope others may laugh too.

I went to the doctor today
I was filled with elation and gravity.
I told him I was unable to say
What had caused me to behave with depravity.

He asked did I want any pills
I threw them all down the lavatory.
He said women have weaker wills…
This makes living with one such a purgatory,

I said I have lost my tom cat
If you see him, he’s called Mr. Mcavity
He offered to tame me a rat.
So I asked him to send me to Coventry.

I whirled around in my bed
Surely dreams should be celebratory?
I know no man ever bakes bread…
Yet they call it history not herstory.

Oh,why not let go of the reins
Run wild with the escapatorii
At least they have blood in their veins
And stiff whiskey runs through right through their arteries