-
I once had an email from a ghost.
I was eating a piece of white toast.
The message was clear.
It said,”I am not here”.
So I replied, “No need to boast.”Sometimes lost spirits like to joke.
Or they want to give their old friends a poke.
I leave them some food,
So they will not brood.
Then I see them float past my old oak.Have you ever seen the Spirit of love?
I see it in the eyes of my dove.
The dove is serene,
As it eats a Mars Bar ice cream,
As its mate circles mountains above.I feel distinctly unwell
I am delirious,dear Dr Fell.
I flapped round all night
To the budgies delight.
And my glands are all starting to swell.Do you find doctors are different these days?
They are more like technicians in their ways
They think we’re just lots of parts,
Without feeling hearts.
They don’t seem to hear what we say. -
Our Father,dwelling in Heaven,
Helloed and helloed be Thy Name.
In Kingdom come, may Your Will be done
As it was not at 9/11.
Give us this day,no more Dread.
Forgive us our Christmases,
As we forgive those who Christmas with us.
And lead us not into Devastation
But deliver us great acceptance and kindness
For Thine is the Wisdom,the Love and the Spirit,
As ever was, and shall be.Amen
-
When I went to art class I read a few books/One of the best had sections written by working artists…
The most useful tip was one used a glasses case to carry pencils in.
Since then I have used those double sizes pencil cases are receptacle for all sorts of things.
You can get all sorts and sized of cases.i got a large one with black and gold outer which can be used as a clutch bag and a soft one with a fastening that clicks.that’s good for carrying medication around should you need that
Maybe one day I will draw again…it’s nicer with a oenci, -
I keep my rings in a Bell.
I keep my pearls in the oyster.
I keep my cup in a cupcake.
I keep my briefs in a brief case.
I keep my jeans in a the Aegean sea.
I keep my bras in a brasserie.
I keep my tops in a top hat.
I keep my coats in a coterie.
I keep my vests in the bank vaults.
I keep my slips in a file.
I keep my mind in an alert.
I keep my thoughts in my guts.
I keep my guts in a postbox.
I keep my posts in my blog.
It’s a bit gutteral now.
I keep my books in a suitcase,
and my suits in the bookcase.
I keep skirting round the main issue.
I caught a cold— A tissue!
m
-
I drink acids to test myself.
Corn’s not much use to a bee.
Reactions speak louder than birds.
When my own heart was sore I soothed it with thoughts of yours.
Ah, to be hung with jewels.
She’s wearing dirty laundry again.
It’s all spent,my purse gapes.
All debts are rough.
All lit up and nowhere to glow.
She’s all fears..
A ball for a scone, and a groan in the Mall.
All brands on speck.
He was,like,all hands to the rump.
All shall break loose.
It’ll fall on the way to the kirk
I get low in blue times
My route was all over the map.
All the men wailed in unison.
All talk and no inspection
All that glitters is usually sold.
Did you hear all that jazz?
Do you fear the power he has?
Call the nits in my fleeces.
It’s all bums for a test.
Did mother wear a vest?
Lots of work and low pay, makes Jack a Union boy.
All’s fair in love from afar.
He has a rum sort of nest.
He’s taken all the wines to test.
My resolutions went West.
I’ve got my brain packed in a witcase.
-
Life and love
The brightness of late summer light,
The songs of birds whose brood take flight.
I love to take in these earthly pleasures,
And so to fill my mind with treasures.The conversations with my friends,
The closeness only death will end,
To share my life with those who care,
How could we have better fare?Those who suffer pain and grief,
From whom love’s stolen by a thief,
Let us take them to our hearts,
So their healing path can start.Those who are fear friendship and love,
Who set themselves at too low worth,
Do they know how courage grows
Through acceptance of our woesLife is tragic comedy.
Love may be the remedy.
Though if we give our hearts away
We shall have grief and pain to pay.But if we lock our hearts up tight,
And keep all feeling out of sight,
We will wither like dead leaves,
Of our whole life we’ll be bereaved.
b -
I saw you on the pavement
with your old brown dog
You were shabby,poor,ragged,
Sat on your tartan rug.
You had water for the dog,
You hugged him and you sang,
But the people walked on by,
And no-one looked at you.
No-one looked at you.But you still sang your song.
And you sent me so much love
It crossed from eye to eye.
I felt it coming in.
I heard that you had died,
Though you were only thirty three.
Only thirty three.I wonder,where’s your dog?
I felt our souls had touched,
You gave to me so much
As I wandered in my grief
Through the roads and round the streets.
In your glance, you touched my heart.
I felt love swimming through,
From you right into me.Will you come again?
I see all these dim, grey men
Who cut your benefits
To give more wealth to few;
So that the needle’s eye,
which is waiting when we die,
is forgotten, for they want
protection for their wealth.I wish that beggar man
would come back here again.
I liked to hear his songs
But I can’t recall the tunes;
Maybe I’ll write songs myself,
That’s the highest sort of wealth
Our creativity
Is a path to dignity.Come back every one!
I wish you had not gone.
come back in my dreams
and give me some new themes.
I’m singing like you sung.
it’s this world that’s so wrong.
come back beggar man,
I kne -
My diary page 1
Saturday September 15th 2012
I was just reading an American blogger asking people to say why they blog.What made them begin and what did they get out of it.The interesting thing for me was that several said they’d tried to keep a written journal but did better with a blog..I wonder why that is..?
On an open blog telling the whole world your most private life which is a journal of the traditional type could be a bit dodgy.One person had been attacked and followed for a year…by some crazy loon person..That’s the problem..people can seem pleasant and friendly on a blog but you only have their word for who they are in the real world.
And of course we all change as time goes by and as we interact.One might become without knowing it. a different person.That could be good.Still for my secret life I’ll stick to my five year diary and use a code.Remember making up codes as a kid?
What fun…well,make up your own code now.
As an ex mathematician codes intrigues me.Are you watching “Bletchley”?Should I post my illicit doings,my sinful activities,my nasty ways?
A photo of myself in a silk nightdress turned by Photoshop into a picture of a large hedgehog in its underwear?Or me topless, with Fermat’s last theorem tattooed on my bosom and a large veil over my face See how the cookie crumbles and how the mice run…..keep them off me…..I’m not even Royal.
Meanwhile I have something to write in the margin…I think I have solved Gauss’s conjecture…he liked to write in the margins of books.Writing in the margin is something you can’t do when you keep your diary in a weblog like this..unless I could make it into an image and use Paint or Photoshop..It’s much easier with a pencil…So that’s a new problem….. can we have a margin on the side of our page here?Think about it.. let me know…is it possible?
Without a margin life is not worth living..
Well,must ewbank the hall and hang out the washing…bye for now..
-
At the end of the day,
it all boils down to
what happens in that moment in time
in that split second.
I offer you my words of wisdom,
Don’t delay… you don’t want to be
A moment too soon or too late.
We must listen to our hearts
To find out our gut feelings,
Trust your instincts
And remember,it’s never too early or late,
Or exactly the right moment,
To start saving for a pension.
At the end of the day,
I hope you made your bed
The way you wanted to lie in it..
Though usually,love needs truth
And lying is an art
unlike survival and love;
Though love is not all you need
but love helps us roll along
gathering a little moss.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls,
It tolls for thee,
and me too.
But when we sum it all up
We can say,with hand on heart..
we were just following orders
Then the grieving will start.
-
The butterfly is like a flower
which moves its station every hour.
Oh,happy is he on the wing.
The vision makes me quick to sing.
The flower is open in the sun,
And to its heart, true love shall come.
The bees shall feast and fly replete
With nectar they are now full sweet.
I sing of colour and of love,
Blessings that rain down from above.
I wish to be a flower too.
Ah,that the bee could but be you. -
Our Father,Stars in Heaven,
Spell out thy Great Name.
Thy wisdom comes,
And Angels’ sums
Add up our human pain.
Thy love is felt,
Though we live in doubt
About the human game.
Give us delay
On bankers pay;
And forgive us our lackluster efforts,
As we forgive those who lack humanity with us;
And guide us into a Demonstration
To make plain to the Nation
The evil done to the Poor,
The Disabled,the Mentally Ill,
And their Carers.
For Thine is the Trial
At the Hour of the Bible Story
We hope,but are nervous.Amen -
Odysseus travels across the nuclear seas
In his madness.Where are you dear stranger?
I lost you to a computer,now I weave my web
To tempt you home.Eastern zones where people scream
In silence are not the place for your journey.
Oh,timeless zone of wanderers,send him back.
I love this green eyed stranger,this star angel
From above.He shone like a crackling nuclear reactor
As we walked along the edge of the world,
Where the seven seas roar endlessly.
Are you Hamlet’s ghost?
Could Shakespeare write your tragic story?
We have no stature now,leaning into the laptops,
Talking into the air,like people trapped in hidden glass three dimensional ellipses
We stare out,unseeing.We listen but hear nothing.
Where are you,my stranger.The sea boils in anguish.
I wait for you,the unseen,the unknown stranger.
by -
The cat was always looking away,
though I called his name many times.
He was caught by some vision
Real or imagined
In the distant grey green fields
across which a tractor moved slowly,
He was looking away,but he could see my reflection
in the glass
amidst the smears of life
And he always knew
That I was smiling.
Like now. -
About suffering they were never wrong,
The Old Masters; how well, they understood
Its human position; how it takes place
While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along;
How, when the aged are reverently, passionately waiting
For the miraculous birth, there always must be
Children who did not specially want it to happen, skating
On a pond at the edge of the wood:
They never forgot
That even the dreadful martyrdom must run its course
Anyhow in a corner, some untidy spot
Where the dogs go on with their doggy life and the torturer’s horse
Scratches its innocent behind on a tree.
In Breughel’s Icarus, for instance: how everything turns away
Quite leisurely from the disaster; the ploughman may
Have heard the splash, the forsaken cry,
But for him it was not an important failure; the sun shone
As it had to on the white legs disappearing into the green
Water; and the expensive delicate ship that must have seen
Something amazing, a boy falling out of the sky,
had somewhere to get to and sailed calmly on.For friends who read the private post,I think this is relevant.For certain people, the Crucifixion would have been simply a time when they had to supply the strong enough nails… that was their job and they did it,not for them to query the decision of Pontius Pilate.In those days tragically crucifixion was a common event in the Roman Empire.. think of the two thieves….imagine now if stealing carried such a sentence.
Their suffering and thousands of others at the hands of the Romans,in the circus etc is not often thought about now.Not to mention the terrible destruction of the Temple and the wiping out of so many of the Jews… as bad as the Holocaust. -
After summer’s sultry flowers,
We get autumn showers.Winds that blow.
Leaves that glow.
Nature’s wealth is ours.Harvest grain and harvest corn.
All our food from earth is born.Warmth of sun-
Ripeness come-
Fruits and nuts adorn.Trees are turning red and gold
In the glancing sun.Leaning down I see your face.
Autumn love has come. -
Wisdom is knowing what to do next; virtue is doing it. ~David Star Jordan, The Philosophy of Despair
Jewish life
There’s big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until after it graduates from medical school.
-
I have a piece of apple wood
I have my whittling knife.
I want to make a gift for you,
The best gift of your life.Apple wood is sweet and sound
The tree grew here by me.
I chose the best part I could find
For the virtue of the tree.Apple wood is a rare gift
We must make something whole,
For if you touch my apple wood
You can feel its soul.The sweetness of the fruit of love
Is there within the wood.
So all who touch the apple here
Will be moved to good.What knowledge did the tree conceal
That Eden was destroyed?
Was this a good metaphor?
Should it have been employed?Sweet apples fall at random now
As autumn time has come.
And many Newton’s, all unknown,
Shall learn from every one -
Einstein was struck by lightning in a very unreal sense.
Bach did it the long way.He earned it.
Brahms kindly wrote his own Requiem but did he make a Will?
Elgar made concerted efforts to reach Nirvana….drugs r not us.
Vaughn Williams conducted himself with great dignity right to the end
Wagner blew up and burst like a balloon full of nothingness pricked by a thorn
Shakespeare Ode Nothing.We owe him.
The e
-
A very few words
The color of the flowers
touches my eyes
more softly than a raindrop
Yet with the intensity of the sun.
-
An old collage
I would not put my own photo on in future. I got my watch in Argos!
We only got Argos recently..
So if I lose my watch I won’t worry.If you hate my handwriting do NOT email me at
unlonelyheart@pendle.which.com
-
How to Unlock Pump Bottles
By Nicole Gordon, eHow Contributor
How to Unlock Pump Bottles thumbnail
A good grip can help you unlock your bottleThe pump bottle is a convenient alternative to the classic squeeze bottle. Allowing you to free up a hand or sterilize hands without worrying about dirtying the outside of the bottle, as you would with a squeeze bottle, the pump bottle is also often refillable, and you can use it for beauty products and home cleaning products alike. However, whenever you buy a new pump bottled product, getting it open can sometimes be tricky, as the pump bottle is shut tightly and often wrapped in plastic seal and requires unlocking its twist top prior to opening. Does this Spark an idea?
Other People Are ReadingHow to Sterilize Medela Bottles
How to Clean Medela BottlesPrint this article
Instructions
1
Wash and dry your hands to make sure they are clean and not greasy or slippery.
2Grab the bottle with one hand, near the middle or the bottom, and place the other hand firmly on the top of the pump.
3Twist the hand on top of the pump to the left so it turns the pump spout.
4Twist the base of the bottle the opposite way as you are turning the pump. This will aid in opening the pump.
5Twist the pump to the right and release your hand from the top of the pump. It should pop right up.
Read more: How to Unlock Pump Bottles | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/how_7790307_unlock-pump-bottles.html#ixzz26kObYfHv
-
I expect you are awaiting the sight of my handwriting..obviously it will take longer than doing it here as I’ll have to copy a good version out…assuming i can write without a computer…it uses a different side of the brain I think.
So,I’ll be back or I’ll post more flower photos. -
The intensity of flowers
The colour of the flowers
touches my eyes
more softly than a raindrop
Yet with the intensity of the sun
-
Einstein flew away on a sunbeam.
Heisenberg hesitated too long.
Schrodinger got cat fever.
Gauss was terminated.
Newton kept sucking his pencil.
Hooke was outlawed.
Riemann was only human after all.
Cats bite OK?
-
Flowers do it always for me.
And a butterfly sweet. or a bee.
A fresh slice of bread…
And an old book well read..
And when I open the door with my key -
Picasso: Got gored by a bull.
Monet:went dotty and fell into a deep bed of poppies.
Cezanne:Ate the Big Apple.
Henry Moore:Got trapped in the Underground.
Michaelangelo:Fell of his ladder.
Manet:got confused with Monet and fell of his chair.
Kierkegaard:Trembled too much.
Bertrand Russell:Got stuck in a layer cake.
Pascal:His heart had too many reasons.
Descartes:He stopped thinking one day.
Plato:The cave entrance got blocked by spammers.
Socrates:He tried to dial Ogg thrice and the phone box caved in.
Wittgenstein:Became too late for his own good
-
Tomatoes ripen on the stem;
Apples hang down low.
Summer riches now and then.
From seeds that once I sowed.Plant your seeds with care and grace.
Nurture them with love.
Put them in where you have space,
As rain falls from above.Slowly, and in their own right time,
They will manifest
The form with which they were endowed.
Richness comes at last.Time for sowing,time for birth
Time for love of life.
Time to scatter seeds abroad.
Time -
My life as an amused person
As I muse about this lifeI think I need to get a wife.
I’d like someone to exchange love
and help me when I lose my glove!
Why not get a man as well?
Thus as a threesome we can dwell.
The more the merrier is my thought.
Just as long as we’re not caught.
Is it illegal to share love?
Well …..ask the Trinity above!
-
A story for cat lovers :Emile goes for a bike ride
Stan had just got back to his lovely bright home from a ride on his old mountain bike.Emile had travailed in his special cat seat/basket just in front of Stan as he liked to see the road less traveled should it appear..and he liked purr to encourage Stanto ride further.
When Stan got home to his luxuriously detached yet bijou dwelling he went to the wonderfully disappointing cloakroom to wash his paws before putting the kettle on for some tea.
Ah,how peaceful it is here,he thought…,how nice Mary is still at work.
Suddenly and alarmingly, the door bell rang.There,on the flower bedecked porch,stood a large, beautiful curly haired woman holding Emile in her pretty freckled arms
I believe this is your cat,she said boldly.So he tells me.Why, he even knows the address.
Well,if he’s anyone’s he’s mine,Stan admitted uneasily.
What has he done now?
Did you not notice he jumped out of his basket?she asked enquiringly.
Well,no,Stan answered furtively..
I was getting a bit tired and keen to get home…I forgot my water,
Well,I hope you won’t let him do it again,he could end up absconding,
By the way,I’m called Yvette.
Are you Yvette Cooper,the MP,he enquired wildly.
No, she said,I’m Yvette Hooper,the swan lover.
Do come in for a cup of tea,he said caringly.
I don’t mind if I do,she said,then I can be sure your cat is alright.
Tell me,Stan said,Do you live with a swan?
No,she said,though I do have an old Swan saucepan.
A saucepan is not much company,Stan responded.
Well,at least it never shouts at me!Yvette said quickly.
Have you suffered verbal abuse? Stan said in a kind and supportive voice.
I have yes.We had a mutual agreement that I could be handcuffed and verbally amused for 3 hours a week.you see we’d read this book,”Fifty shades of grey.”It’s all about human bondage
But my boyfriend thought it was verbal abuse I wanted..As I was upside down I couldn’t tell him of his error.After that things were never the same.
Why did you have the handcuffs?asked Stan calmly.
We were given them for Xmas,she whispered.
Also a whip and some rubber gloves.
Why the rubber gloves?
For washing up of course!
But after being whipped would you feel like washing up?
I don’t know.We split up before we even tried the whip… to be honest,I didn’t want to use it.
Alright, my dear.I understand it all.
Here you are.. drink a nice cup of tea and try these biscuits I made myself they are almond biscuits from my Penguin Jewish cookery book.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm,delicious,she cried.Are you Jewish,Stan?
No,but why should they have all the best recipes?
A good point… maybe because they had almost the first alphabet so began to write them down before anyone else could.
Not to mention they invented monogamy,a great religion,Freud,Wittgenstein,Einstein,rhinestone
.Give them an accolade. I mean,Jesus Christ!
What more do they have to do to be rewarded?
Ascend into heaven?
Make more cheesecakes?
I wonder,said Stan pondering slowlyThe back door opened and in ran Anne,Stan’s mistress.
She was dressed in soft teal with toning turquoise trainers and she wore a light beige foundation with bright coral lipstick making a subtle contrast… all by Lamcom of China.
Oh,Anne,have some tea.This is Yvette,she very kindly rescued Emile after he jumped off my bike.
Don’t tell me he can ride a bike,Anne screamed,showing off a good set of teeth and a long red tongue.
No,I was riding it.Stan told her sensibly.
Hello Yvette,Anne said,where do you live?
I live on the top road by the wood.Yvette answered politely, her auburn hair standing up in a mass off curls as she spoke,showing off to good effect her light orange lipstick and burnt sienna eye shadow…in fact it was color from her art materials..
Have you been there long?Anne enquired politely and warmly.
No,only a few weeks..we don’t know anyone..
So you are married?
Yes,my husband is in the Police Service… he cleans policemen for special occasions.
I didn’t know anyone did that.Can’t they clean themselves?
A self cleaning policeman…or how about putting coat of Teflon on them so they can be wiped with a wet cloth?
It’s up to him,said Yvette.I am a lecturer at Pond’s End Polytechnic.I teach philosophy..
In a poly?
Yes,I have a D.Phil from Oxgridge in the philosophy of science with particular reference to Dirac’s remarks on Wittgensteim.
Do they study such remarks in a poly?
All the students do Philosophy of Science…it’s compulsory.
Stan said,I wish they all did Peace Studies too…
I know,said Yvette kindly..If only we could bring peace but we are descended from the most aggressive primates… why many of them were sado-masochists.Well some were sadists and the rest were masochists I gather.The ones who weren’t died out as they never mated..
Well,I’m not a sadist,said Stan,or at least only to myself!
Do you beat yourself up,the ladies asked.
Just in my mind,he answered judiciously.So do I thought Yvette.
Let’s have some more tea,called Anne from the hall,I’ll make it.
Anne is my mistress,Stan boasted humbly……
There was little point trying to seduce Yvette now Anne had met her and vice versa.
Yvette was intrigued.That is rare ,for such an old man to have a mistress.
Is a wife not sufficient for you?
A wife is necessary but not sufficient,Stan teased her.
Well,my husband has no mistress, she said unknowingly,
but I have several boyfriends.
How do you get the time?
I have a rota,she chuckled happily.
You seem an intriguing lady.May I have your email address,mobile number and your landline?
Your height and weight too..clothes size and shoes too.
Yes,it’s
yvette999@hotmail.com
or diracisme@qmail.com
My phone number is Oh,oh,6666666666666.7777777777777777………………..
That’s irrational,he informed her knowingly.
Have you got an i Pad,she then asked boldly.
No,I’ve not even got a Kindle..do you recommend them.Maybe you could come to ComputersRus with me on Saturday.
No, she said,I’m Jewish.
Are Jews not permitted to visit Computer shops..Some religious edict,is it? he said inquisitively.
It’s the Sabbath,you dimwit,she responded.We don’t shop on the Sabbathbut don’t worry I’ll come on Monday with you..you are a charming man.I need as many as I can get.
Why are you deficient in some way?Stan whispered.
No,I’m very proficient and mildly conceited,she admitted modestly.
And I like a good kisser.Are you a good kisser?
Well,maybe you could give me a test,he said manfully,
and if need be you can give me some lessons followed by a total Examination to see if I satisfy you.
Just then Anne came in with fresh tea..
Emile mewed loudly.
What is it.Emile ? Stan asked.
I am jealous because we cats can’t kiss.
Well kissing is neither necessary nor sufficient in the art of love.Rolling about together in some soil is also very nice..
I hope you don’t expect your wife to roll about in soil,said Yvette
questioningly..
Well,i can ask her,Stan said,but her main interest is topology and knitting.She is often very cold in bed…
Can’t you warm her into life;Or buy an electric blanket?
No,she’s hopeless because of a type of Asperger’s syndrome but I love her anyway.
Have you tried a new technique like whipping each other or tying yourself to the bedposts.You can buy handcuffs now in Boots,I hear.
Why some doctors prescribe them on the NHS nowadays
I thought Love was enough, Stan answered
It seems in the UK people are into whips and handcuffs…
Well,count me out,said Stan,I’m more into a careful yet tender study of the skin from the toes right up to to head,followed by gazing into her eyes for ten minutes.
Why ten minutes?asked Yvette.
I can’t wait any longer…
Well,you’ll have to practise..she said coyly.
I can practise with him,said Anne virtuously.
Yes,the more the better…he’s getting older so he can’t wait.
He needs satisfaction as son as possible.
The door bell rang,It was handsome Dave the paramedic.
Hi,he said,I was worried as you’ve not called 999 today.I brought a leash and some whips.
I’m Yvette,the woman said.
I’m bisexual,he told her.
That’s a strange name.
Never mind that,give me your email address and phone number
It’s ywoman@love4all.com,she saidor 09964321.3333333333333333333…..
If you’d like a non rational phone number email me at
hotcats@hell.comRe
-
Enlightened by her nose he kissed her on the toes.
We’ll be all right up this alley.
Bring a bell when you come for tea.
She rang my bell alright…I collapsed into a daymare.
A rising tide gets down my nose.
Is this the road less gravelled?
Is this the road were I grovelled?
I see this toad needs a hovel.
I hear the growling of the mice.
We roll in the red tarmac.
Rolling through the dough makes the car rise up and get battered.
Too many books give my husband wrath.
Too many spooks make my husband laugh.
Too many looks make my husband do maths.
Too many hooks make anyone hurt.
-
Against drunk deriving
by Kathswords Pro @ 2012-09-15 – 18:38:17
Math and Alcohol don’t mix, so… PLEASE DON’T DRINK AND DERIVE
-
An infinite crowd of mathematicians enters a bar.
The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint…
“I understand”, says the bartender – and pours two pints -
Here is an interesting website
Is success earning money,becoming a good person,surviving…being happy…what?
But I beieve the idea that you become what you think about most..
so I have stopped thinking and just feel instead.
May you feel well,feel hope,feel at home on this earth.
Feel friendly,feel accepted,feel we are all part of the same whole.Oh,dear,Blessings on Saturday!Still it is the Sabbath…
-
Do you ever have a sense
That there’s someone you’d like to meet?
not a friend or a lover
No,someone you sense…
Inside or out…
Like your breathing..
That’s who you want to meet
When you rest or sleep?
Maybe it’s the self
That grow your mind and body
From a few cells..
The intelligent feeling…
Design.
Do you ever have a feeling
That someone wants to speak to you,
But not in words?
Do you ever feel someone wants to hold you
But not in their arms?
Yes,they want to hold you,help you breathe.
Do you ever have a sense
There’s more than we see through our eyes?
Yes,do you have any sense?
Do we have any sense?
Sensing like a child walking through a fog
The way home……
Home,is where we come from
And where we go to.
Do you ever have a sensation
Like hearing the laughter of children in a field of daisies?
Like there’s mirth here and joy.
And we can play….
With the senses -
A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks others have thrown at him.
David Brinkley
Read -
Stan was sweeping the garden path.He had a stiff broom with a small head that was useful for cleaning the edges of the steps.Emile, his beautiful cat was sitting in the old apple tree gazing down on Stan.
“Is it time for coffee yet,”Stan asked himself.He had forgotten to put on his watch.
Suddenly he heard a shriek.He peered through a hole in the fence.His neighbor Annie was lying on her back in some mud.
“Hang on,I’ll come round!” he called.
There was a gate in the old fence which was rarely locked
since Annie loved to drop in on Stan.
“Oh,Annie,how are you feeling?” he asked her anxiously.
“Bloody annoyed.I’ve only just bought these,”Not your daughter’s jeans” and now I’ve torn them,” she replied politely.
“But you don’t have a daughter!” he informed her loudly.
“I know that.It’s just they are better cut for the mature figure.”
“Your figure is not mature.You are quite slender.my dear,” he murmured lovingly.
“Well,I never feel happy with it!” she said mutinously.
“Whereas I am very happy feeling it,” he responded romantically.
Tears came into her green eyes lined with purple eye shadow.Alas,it was not waterproof and purple rivulets ran down her cheeks across the peach blusher with which she had valiantly decorated herself earlier.
“Can you get up?” he asked tenderly.
“Yes, but it would be nice if you picked me up.”
He leaned over her and licked the purple streams of tears off her cheeks.
“I hope it’s not poisonous,” she murmured.
Then with the aid of Emile,he lifted her to her feet and helped her into her large trendy kitchen.
The kettle switched itself on as they entered and a robotic voice asked if they’d like coffee.
“God in heaven,what the hell is that?” he cried confusedly.
“It’s my new computerized hot drink maker.After that fall I think a double espresso would be good.”
Emile ran in and asked for coffee too.
“Emile,you usually have milk,”Stan reminded him softly.
“Well,coffee is a new taste for me but I like a little.”
the cat whispered sweetly.
“I’ll give you some of mine in a saucer,” Stan replied.
Emile began to sob.
“Why Emile,whatever is wrong?”
“I want a cup and saucer just like you” the cat howled.
But you have no hands,Emile,” Stan reminded him.
The poor cat was crying loudly now.So Stan rang 999.
“Can you please send the emergency ambulance round.the cat’s crying and all his hankies are in the wash.”#
Soon Dave,the transvestite paramedic appeared.
“I love your light teal kitchen,” he informed Annie,
“And your eyes look like two deep pools in a coal mine.”
She slapped his cheek naughtily.
“Have a look at Emile” she ordered him sweetly.
He turned to the cat who was sitting on the dark pine table.
“Here,Emile,I got you some Kleenex for Cats in Sainsbury’s.” he said gaily.
“I want a real hanky,”cried Emile.Dave took a clean hanky from his own pocket and dried the cats tears.
“What made you cry.Are you feeling bad.”
“Yes,I want to go to Cafe Nero,” Emile mioawed.
“Who told you about that?”
“Another cat down the road has been and he said it’s lovely for people watching.”
“The town is not safe for cats like you,Emile.”
Dave urbanely replied,
“But when summer come I’ll take you to the out of town
Marks and Spencer’s.They have a cat’s coffee corner upstairs.”
“Wow,isn’t it amazing,”Stan wondered out loud.
So Dave poured out the coffee and they all sat down and
discussed Ray Monk’s Life of Wittgenstein.
Ray has discovered that Wittgenstein liked cats but as he moved around quite a bit,he never owned his own cat
though Elizabeth Anscombe let him play with her three cats now and then.
We may all be different but most of us value the love of a good cat.Even boiling their hankies and ironing them is very nice.We all have this problem though.
Where can a cat carry his own hanky?
Do cats need shoulder bags? -
–
The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.Michel de Montaigne (1533 – 1592)
-
The search for happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness.
Eric HofferRead more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/sources.html#FcB0I3hGiehKceaU.99

-
Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We
do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence,
but rather we have those because we have acted rightly.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an
act but a habit.Aristotle
-
Love doesn’t just sit there like a stone: it has to be made,
like bread, remade all the time, made new -
On Monday morning Stan had to go to the shops in the centre of town to buy some special easy threading needles for his visually-other wife Mary.Somehow,most puzzlingly,she had lost all of the eight packs he had bought for her in the last year.He had suggested letting his mistress next door do the hemming and stitching.But Mary was determined even though sometimes she took 14 minutes just to thread a needle.But she was very patient.One might almost say she was saintly but he did not want her to get conceited so he kept his thoughts to himself.
Now what will I wear.Stan thought over-anxiously.
He had OCD now and then.
People no longer dress up to go down town instead they dress down to go up to the town,in a very real sense.
The art of living is to choose the most simple solution to any problem and Stan recalled he only had some navy trousers,some white and a few colored shirts and one light teal colored jacket.
He chose a coral colored shirt and looked in the mirror..
I look wonderful, he thought very humbly.
Why has God kept me so youthful?
Surely not so I can seduce more women?
We know God may be merciful to scissors,or is it sinners?
Well,let’s just say God can be merciful but for some reason,we never know till it’s too late whether it’s to us.
More haste,less speed,he conjectured.
Or is it, More paste,guests feed?
He stood in the hall combing his hair with a tortoiseshell comb and brushing it with a large nail brush
He looked again at his image.
His amber eyes glowed like neon lights on the main road to Knittingham in winter.
His dark hair looked very full for his age.
His teal jacket had been well pressed by the dry cleaner,
Jacob Weissmann.
And his coral shirt was new as Mary had been out buying him more clothes lately.She had grown tired of seeing him in one solid color,especially grey or brown.
His navy trousers were a bit old but quite alright for Knittingham.
As he gazed into the mirror he began to feel odd.Then he saw Emile
who was standing on the chest of drawers behind him performing a dance.. solo!
Why are you dancing,Emile? Stan asked politely.
I am amused by seeing you gazing into the mirror for so long,
If you don’t hurry it will be lunchtime before you get to the Needle Shop.
Alright,growled Stan hoarsely.
At least I don’t wear make up!
Now there’s a thought…maybe I’d look better…what shade of foundation would suit me?Would I need lip balm and perfume?
Hurry up,said Emile unkindly.
More taste less greed.
What does that mean?asked Stan.
If you taste the food and eat slowly you will enjoy it more and thus need less.
Very clever,Emile.Shall I buy you some cough sweets in the pet shop.
No,I want some codeine linctus,Emile answered.
I want to go high,high.
I want to reach the sky.
what will I do when my love is away
Will I be happy on my own?
Lend me your ear and I’ll sing you a song
I’ll try not to sing out of tune!My God,Emile.Whatever has happened to you?
I blame the old chalk and opium medicine someone spilled on my breakfast.
Well,go and lie down but drink some milk first.At last Stan got out…it had taken him two hours to get ready
At the bus stop there stood Anne their neighbor.
Hi,Stan,where are you going.
I’m buying sewing needles for Mary.
I can lend her some,she shrieked.
Well,she has to use special ones nowadays.
Oh,so she does.I forget as she looks normal but is in fact suffering constant trouble since her Vitreous-vasectomy.. or was it hysterectomy or vivacity?.
Well,never mind.You know she’s not normal.
Who is normal?
Let’s just assume we will recognize it when we see it,he whispered warningly.
This bus is very late.I wish there was a proper seat here..my knees hurt.
I hate this plastic seat.Why has the wooden one gone?
Apparently the council are afraid of homeless people sleeping on them.
Well,everybody is at risk of homelessness with this economic crisis,
Anne shouted in a fury.
No,beggars can’t be losers,he responded.
Very true,she replied,
As they have nothing so they can’t lose it.The more you have,the more you fear losing it.
This bus is very,very late,I wish I had a horse or is it an horse?
A goat would be o.k.Speed bonny goat like a word someone flung..
Over the page to Fly.Anne burst out laughing so her face was as red as her coat from Artigiano.Her blue tights were a perfect contrast and also matched her lipstick.
At last the bus came.They got on board and the driver called out,
You both look very merry!
Too many looks create more wrath,Stan replied warningly.
Well, why dress up if you want no attention.the driver gloated.
Hello,darling, he said to Anne,Are you free tonight,babe?
Why? she murmured,I have two tickets for the Rolling Stones and no woman to take! he replied boastfully.
Now,if it were the Rolling Bones,I might be interested.
Your wish is my command he muttered,
I have my smart phone here,I’ll see what’s one elsewhere.
He kept trying but the virtual keyboard was playing up again.
Eventually the passengers got annoyed and asked him to start the bus.
As I’m half an hour late,I should be coming back now so I’ll do a U turn and go back to the terminus.
But we want to go into town,every one howled.
There’s many a blue word spoken as a jest,sang the driver.
Stan said,Please open the door,we shall dismount here.
Crikey,you don’t half talk posh,said the ,driver.
He leaned over and gave Anne a French kiss.
Now look here,Stan said,leave her alone.She’s my mistress.
Cor blimey said the driver,who are you,King Henry the Eighth?
I say,Stan,I can see Mary.It must be tea time.
Stan ran into the house and put the kettle on..then he made a pot of tea.Hello! said Mary.
Did you get my needles,Stan?
I’m so sorry,Mary.I’ve had such a busy day,I never got into the town.
And where is my supper.
I’m afraid it’s still in the womb of time!
I see,it’s chick pea dahl and brown rice again or egg on toast.
But I’m not complaining.Keeping house is a big job.I know it only to well.
So they sat with Anne and Emile,who even had his own cup and saucer now.They were weary and soon ,despite the tea, they were all fast asleep.copyright
-
I am copying this and pasting it..
Living life in all its fierceness,
Birth and death and joy and pain
We struggle on our unknown journey,
Sometimes lost and found again.We are indeed like lambs to slaughter
Death will be our final goal.
But while we live,let us live bravely.
Let us not destroy our souls.Climbing in the hills and moorlands
In the heather, children play.
The sun half blinds me with its light
Yet still I see the given way.I received a call to climb.
These hills are my essential home.
My vocation is to dwell here
While in the silence,mind may roam.Noise in cities is destructive.
Though nature’s fierce,it’s also true.
Struggling on life’s craggy slopes
I offer up my words to you. -
Crop a line into an infinity of dots…it takes forever and a way.
I dropped the bucket.What lucket!
Supper was benign.
Whopping like flies on amphetamines.Have they got HDHD?
I try drown my sorrows but they can swim too fast.
I was as drunk as a Monk after a day of lasting abstinence.
Fly with a Crone.
.
Good luck soup… boil a horse shoe in water with an onion and some cloves,then liquidise itWuck!
Plumb in a fox… it will wash you with its tail.
It would come in the post if it was delayed.
Numb as am iceberg’s stump.
Dumber than a clump of shagged out spammers.
More numerals than a box of clocks.
Shall we go to the cru
Such a feat.
A witch’s treat.
Twitchy feet.
A bitch in the heat…
and wild in the cold.
Put my clox back now!
-
Insanely flung by chance into a brothel she worked her way out with a book,The Joy of Cookery.It was heavy enough to break the thickest windows.
I wonder why windows don’t have brakes for hot weathe
Sieve your breath for health.
Pray for whom you bill.
Today for your prayers read your Palms.
Scared of the cows in a meadow?Then take the bull by the horns.He’ll show you the ropes.
I am wiping the bottom of the barrel..I can’t sink much lower.
Reason’s freezing
A record busting wind blew as the herd wound slowly over me.where’s the coward?
I see I’m I to me and thou to thee.If we just had one pronoun how .easy life would be…
When a baby can see itself as me as well as I,it’s already moved out of its self centred viewing point and can see from another perspective…without going to school.
-
The Wild Swans at Coole
Photo courtesy of Mike Flemming
William Butler Yeats (1919)
The trees are in their autumn beauty,
The woodland paths are dry,
Under the October twilight the water
Mirrors a still sky;
Upon the brimming water among the stones
Are nine-and-fifty swans.The nineteenth autumn has come upon me
Since I first made my count;
I saw, before I had well finished,
All suddenly mount
And scatter wheeling in great broken rings
Upon their clamorous wings.I have looked upon those brilliant creatures,
And now my heart is sore.
All’s changed since I, hearing at twilight,
The first time on this shore,
The bell-beat of their wings above my head,
Trod with a lighter tread.Unwearied still, lover by lover,
They paddle in the cold
Companionable streams or climb the air;
Their hearts have not grown old;
Passion or conquest, wander where they will,
Attend upon them still.But now they drift on the still water,
Mysterious, beautiful;
Among what rushes will they build,
By what lake’s edge or pool
Delight men’s eyes when I awake some day
To find they have flown away? -
We seldom realize, for example that our most private thoughts and emotions are not actually our own. For we think in terms of languages and images which we did not invent, but which were given to us by our soc
Day: September 30, 2012
September from BCUK
-
I’d like to lie beside you,
so we’d be face to face..
A sweet embrace..Eyes to eyes…
I look at you
Your face is always
in my viewThen I could take my fingers
Across your brow,
they linger….
and trace the dear lines
around your eyes.I’d like to touch your lips
With my finger tips.I’d like to blow your nose
On my handkerchief.
I’d like to get inside
Those powerful arms
And rub your shoulders
with a hot balm.I’d like to boil your hankies
In a pan
On a big coal fire..
Though the coal fires are long gone.I’d like to rest my head
Upon your chest
And check the whiteness of your vest.
I wonder if
I should starch your shirts,
For as they say
Real loving hurts! -
I was waiting for the ink to sigh.
He was waiting for the ink to lie.
I’m waiting for my pen to fill,I can’t write yet.
Oh,I can’t write…I have to pick a lily.
For what?
To pay for England!
Oh,I was waiting for the link to come by… but it was so fast it was absolutely hyper.
She’s waiting for some misty petals.
Or was it a new electric kettle?
He was waiting for his mother’s views to falter.
She was waiting for a whip to home in.
He was waiting for your lips to come closer.
I wake-up and yell,Whoopee!
I crack up and shout,I see!
I make up and I look like a bee.
I wake up and need to pee.
I believe above the storm a boiling kettle causes alarm.
I had wake-up fall…….. the bed threw me out!It was tired of me.
I’d love to wake-up on the wrong side of the bed… on top of you..
I can talk about a mile wide…but how high?
She walks softly and carries a big lipstick.
I was practically talking as the eggs fell.
It was a walled garden called Eden before the government interfered.
The walls have ears in the hospital.If only the doctors listened how happy I would be
Gradually
You have come here gradually,
from the whirling chaos of the dreaming infant,
anchored by the maternal hand to earth
to this strange place.Do not try to fly back to heaven today.
Be patient;your guides will,with no effort,
Teach you the patterns and the dance.
All you need is to be open and to trust,
For you have a place in the world.
We need your contribution.No-one else
will see this world from your perspective.And as you trust the chaos now,fear it not
Should it return.Every creative act
involves the breaking of these barriers
by which we keep the chairs and tables
anchored into themselves.The patterns may break up
but new ones are somewhere near.Patience
with this suffering is the only route now.You cannot go back.Heaven comes only after
you have grown roots into this earth,
grown sunward,and travailed the storms
and stinging blows;
have grown your flowers and leaves
And let them fall.Accept.
The only way you can go
is the earthly way.
You are part of us.
We love you.
Our hands are reaching out
If you just lift your eyes.
In the Chaos,God danced and rainbows
Flew from his hands and tears fell from his eyes.
Those tears which fertilised our earth.He wept, knowing of the pain to come;
And yet,he did not cease to dance. -
I’m a thin skinned person
On a thin skinned, spinning earth.
We’re living on the surface,
Creating more financial worth.My skin is getting thinner
I am feeling far too much.
My skin is very fragile,
I may need to have it patched.The earth is full of danger
But we build on it like fools.
As if our skins would thicken
If we covered them in jewels.Inside the earth are fires
Which rage like infernos.
But we build nuclear reactors
In places we don’t know.We build our human cities
As if we are in charge.
Banks,shops,bridges growing,
The built world has grown too large.The earth has a thinner skin on,
But we don’t want to know.
We just want our human cities
To grow and grow and grow.My skin is getting thinner
I feel life far too well.
I don’t want to write poetry
But I feel that I should tell.My skin is getting thinner
I’m at one with Mother Earth
She groans and labours loudly
Like she is giving birth.Her skin is getting thinner
Is it something she will shed?
As adders are reborn
When we think they are dead.But if we have too many cities
The earth has no space to move.
We’re like acne pustules dancing
Without energy or love.The skin is getting thinner
The world is going to split.
And the energy released
Is a fierce charge to transmit.We split the atom once
And opened the abyss.
But when we split the atom
Who knew about all this?My skin is far too permeable
I’m feeling too much pain.
I want a thicker skin
To survive on this terrain.The world groans and she labours
And she destroys cities and trains.
She’s giving birth to her own self
As she struggles,works and strains.Her self is something fearsome,
She is not civilised.
When God spoke from the Burning Bush,
We covered up our eyes.My skin is getting thinner
I feel the heat again
My skin is getting thinner
I’m feeling too much pain. -
Robert Frost
Poetry
Fire and Ice
Some say the world will end in fire,
Some say in ice.
From what I’ve tasted of desire
I hold with those who favor fire.
But if it had to perish twice,
I think I know enough of hate
To know that for destruction ice
Is also great
And would suffice.Emile helps Stan and Annie to create a painting
If you look carefully you will discern Emile’s foot prints.
He is now swimming in some Fairy Liquid in the bath..
He tells me it is a card for Annie’s birthday though she doesn’t know that.
Will she like it?
-
When I saw you waiting in that cafe
I knew you would be mine.
You were handsome, smiling,funny..you were specially designed.
You looked like men I’d only dreamed about in all those years before.
I’m so broke up,so broke up;you don’t love me anymore.I saw you on the station as I came from out the train.
You wore an old green parka to protect you from the rain.
I wanted to be one with you,to make a Love entire;
But all you did was give me pain too bad be enduredYou walked away so quickly,I could not see you long.
I wish I had a big guitar to draw you back with song.
I looked at where you disappeared;what love has loss revealed?
I wish I could just lay down on this floor and keep my face concealed.Railway stations sadden me, for I know we’ll never meet .
I won’t cry more ,for tears are running almost to my feet.
I walk fast looking straight ahead past that entrance gate,
I pretend that you have missed your train,that work was running late.I count from one and one up to a thousand and many more–
But I know for sure it’s far too late; you have closed that heavy door.
You are hiding in a dungeon
You are covered with white steel
But I know you had a heart and you must surely feel.I lost all my illusions, and then I lost some more.
I wish I could lay down and die,right here on this floor -
An agitation of the air,
A perturbation of the light
Admonished me the unloved year
Would turn on its hinge that night.I stood in the disenchanted field
Amid the stubble and the stones,
Amazed, while a small worm lisped to me
The song of my marrow-bones.Blue poured into summer blue,
A hawk broke from his cloudless tower,
The roof of the silo blazed, and I knew
That part of my life was over.Already the iron door of the north
Clangs open: birds, leaves, snows
Order their populations forth,
And a cruel wind blows.Make sure Jesus gets no benefits!
BOOKS FOR YOU
Silent spite.
Holy rite.
Shepherds flocks.
Vicars frocks.
Three Wii Men.
We three Kings of Haunting and War.
A million children died,children of beloved renown.
Will you Kings donate your crowns?
Oh little drink of bed time cheer.
When will Horlicks get up here?
Faith of our Fathers,time for a rethink?
the Vatican hotline’s on the blink.
God test thee,holy gentlemen.
Wait till Jesus comes again.
Was Mary after a council flat?
Oh,yes,Joseph mentioned that.
God didn’t marry her, for if he had.
He’d have had to buy her,her own pad.
Fancy,Jesus is illegitimate.
Make sure he gets no benefits
.
Oh,mother’s mind is in full spate.where will it all end at this rate?
Why did God not want to wed?
I don’t know,he never said.
But someone told me he is dead.
That’s just a rumour some nerd spread.
God is still in us today.
But something always blocks His say.
A party?
Stan was down on his hands and knees washing and scrubbing at the carpet with a new microfibre cloth and
some shampoo for dry hair.He had a bucket of hot water beside him.Happy, as always, when cleaning and
scrubbing he whistled “The lark ascending” for his cat Emile, whilst sipping at a big mug of lager.
Mary was down in the town buying some new earrings to match her red dress from Phase 8 Sale.Their
granddaughter Flora had also gone to town but she wanted a nose ring not an earring.As she was a girl it was
mandatory in the UK.
Suddenly,quite out of the blue,the doorbell rang.They always do don’t they.It was their Muslim neighbour
Bert.”We’re going away in the caravan.”He boasted gruffly.”Anyroad,the cat ,Nelsonia Mandelinaah, doesn’t
want to come.Would you be able enough to feed her over the weekend without any politically correct remarks
being issued ,as it were?”
” Certainly” Stan responded jovially.”When are you off?”
“Well we went last week but we need a weekend in bed to recover from seeing Brent Cross Shopping Centre
in Kettlewell right next to the old Post Office.[Kettlewell,Yorkshire’s idyllic village]
“Very strange”Stan said,”Mary was in it only yesterday ,she claims,in Knittingham spending all our minute
joint pension on new dresses and shoes.”
“I encounter women who have seen Brent Cross down the road all the time all over Britain.Still they’re
entitled to believe what they want!
” “But what will the consequences be?”
“Is there a flying Brent Cross?”
“That sounds rather religious,” Bert answered quickly
,”Is it an augury?”
“I’d say it’s an omen,myself”
“But of what?”
“The times we live in?
“But what’s going to happen?”
“God knows.”
“Well,does he though?”Stan’s hot water had gone cold.In fact it was frozen.”The laws of physics seem very
mutable” Stan wrote in his journal,
“Also my spelling has deteriorated badly ssince I began drinking lager.
Would whiskey be better?”
Meanwhile,he had cleaned only one third of the carpet.
He filled the bath with hot soapy water,stepped in fully clothed and then rolled himself around all over the
carpet to pick up all the fluff.
When Mary came in she was amazed,
“What’s going on?”
“You look as if you’ve been having an orgy on the floor!”
An orgy was something unknown to Stan as yet.”Would you like one?” he murmured.”Yes,”said Mary
childishly “Age has not beaten me yet!””Better have it soon before my knees get too bad!”So now Stan is
cleaning the carpet again.It’s very soft and thick,just perfect!The list of invitees is posted on his blog.
Well,he’s been told to do something new every week.An orgy this week,the marathon later!
But why is Mary ringing 999?
Does she want to invite Dave,the paramedic or is it more sinister than I can tell you?
Yes,indeed,she wants to invite Alistair Campbell and Tony Blair but she’s not telling Stan!.He’ll be furious.In fact he might be tempted to slap someone but no,even these people have the right to life.And they did some good in Northern Ireland.But would you want them at an orgy?””Me neither!”The stranger
Have you ever had a dream,
That you were all alone?
Have you lived with someone handsome,
With a heart like a cold stone?Have you drowned in deep,cold rivers,
And been lost in shadowed caves?
Have you lived with too much fusion,
Till you drowned in ghostly waves?The waves run down the sea shore,
Then up they come once more.
The tide turns and life alters..
Deep on that ocean floor.
You were so beautiful and silent,
Like a sword without its sheath.
I should have let you take me,
The way you took away my breathSmoke
If I go I won’t tell you.
I’ll just disappear one day.
Like when a cigarette ,which seemed so long,
suddenly has become smaller
and you never noticed it
because you were talking
about the meaning of life
while life was somewhere else
blown away with your smoke
into the sky
and then dispersed
never quite visible again
but still floating on the breeze
hoping to be caught
in a butterfly net
but unable to communicate
except by flying.
If I go it will not be today
but it will be an ordinary day
no one will realise
that it’s that day
that the bird flies
from her nest
to go to a new place
only seeing the deserted nest
he realises,
my bird has flown
The music of silence
by Kathswords Pro @ 2012-09-26 – 10:14:42
Somehow,you were here.
I didn’’t hear you coming,
then I saw you were here.
Happiness fills me.
Standing in the garden
looking at red leaves,
I hold your hand gently,
and share the sweetness
of autumn leaves,
the distant doves cooing,
the sun dipping down to the horizon.
Life is good today.
We hear together
the music
of silence,Emile and the flu jab
Stan realised it was time for Emile to have his annual flu jab.He stopped polishing the windows and picked up
the phone.Hello,it’s Stan here.Can I make an appointment for Emile?
Yes, come today if Emile has had a bath!
Are you joking?
Yes,the receptionist responded cheerfully.
Actually he did have a bath and now can swim breatstroke!
How amazing,she said sweetly.
Stan got out Emile’s travelling basket.He put some copies of The Independent inside
in case Emile was bored.
Here,Emile,I’m taking you for a ride in the car.kindly step into your basket,
Can’t I sit by you and wear a seat belt?
I fear it’s illegal.
OK,grandad,Emile answered jauntily.He climbed into the basjet and sat up staring out boldly with his great
amber eyes.
The doorbell rang.
Hello,Annie,Would you like to come to the vet’s with us?
She looked down at her violet velvet tracksuit and purple trainers with real gold laces.
Yes,I’ll sit in the back with Emile.
After ten minutes they arrived and parked the car under an elm tree.Stan carried the basket steadily not
wanting the poor cat to fall in an undignified manner,Annie looked at her green nails.
Do you like my nail varnish,Stan?
To be honest,I prefer shell pink.
Why is that,darling?
It is more feminine!
Feminine!But you can see I’m feminine!
I like you to be even more feminine.
Oh,yes ,agreed Emile,So do I.
You men,she cried sweetly,never satisfied.
I wouldn’t say that,my America,my Newfoundland!
What’s up?Swallowed the dictionary.
It’s a poem,actually.
You’ve been reading again.It’s bad for you.
Don’t you like to be my new found land?
A bit late to ask now,she murmured seductively.
Next moment they were in the empty waiting room.Then a man came in with a big black dog.Emile stared
fiercely and the dog whimpered and lay down on the floor.
The vet came out and asked Stan to bring Emile in.Emile gave a yell at the dog before Stan shut the
door.So,said the beautiful young vet,how is pussy today.
Emile remained silent.He’s fine,just needs his flu jab.muttered Stan.
Come now,Emile come out of there.But Emile was clinging to his basket with ll his sharp claws.
Are you afraid Emile?He asked kindly
No,I’m not afraid,I’m just acting how vets expect cats to act.
So Emile speaks English?
He knows French too.
Je t’aime Emile.
Bedankt,madame.
Stop showing off and get out of there,she doesn’t speak Dutch.
Mein mutter wast immer krank,cried Emile.
Get out now!
Emile came out slowly and stood by this good lady.She looks a bit like Annie, he whispered.
The vet took out a small needle and swiftly injected Emile.
What a good boy,she sang,would you like a jelly baby?
A jelly baby!Cats don’t eat jelly babies!
Well, have a go!
Emile stalked back to his basket,put on some glasses and began to read the editorial in The Independent.
Stan was hoping to make a suggestive remark to the vet,but Annie came in.
Hurry up,there’s a thunderstorm coming.Her nails were now pink.
Did you change your nail varnish?
No,the green was artificial nails!I took them off.
Can I have some claw varnish.demanded Emile
What colour?
I fancy teal,Emile miaowed.
Teal!How ludicrous!
What about red?
Too pretentious.
I don’t think I’ll bother then,the cat said languidly
We men don’t have to bother about such things.
Well,you are lucky said Annie.
I hate makeup and nail varnish,blow dries and manicures but I don’t feel feminine without it.
You feel very feminine to me said Stan,running his hand softly along her forearm
and patting her behind!
Stan!Not here in the road!
Why not?enquired Emile.It looks ideal to me if you go behind those bushes.
Annie jumped into the car and drove away leaving Stan to carry Emile to the bus stop for a tedious journey
home.Then she reappeared,opened the door and said,come on now
let’s all go home.I’m sorry I drove away.I’m feeling a bit blue today.
They got in and arrived safely home where Stan brewed a big pot of tea and let Annie sit on the sofa with her
feet on cushion.He rubbed her head gently.Lovely,she purred.
I like having my head stroked.So do I,said Emile loudly but alas they were too busy to hear or care. -
I shall wail it today.
I said a ball for the dogs!
I hate someone re free market.More than one…
I feel the hots.
Oh,a cat can speak,can it
A can of germs was bailed for £5,000 last night.Doctors said it would be happy in the fridge till being tried for manslaughter.
You are so quaint I could eat you.
I can’t fold a candle up.
I can’t judge a look by the eyes alone.
You can’t learn a psalm without understanding the words.
I can’t pray enough for him
i can’t teach an old dog to eat Weetabix
I’m a pessimist but I’m ok
I’m a pessimist and I’m ok
I worry all night and I sleep all day.
I do my shopping at 1 am
Then I’m certain to meet some very naughty men.
I’m a pessimist,it’s not a gay life,
Especially if you have a watchful wife.
I invent crossword puzzles for the Times.
Then I write these cunning little rhymes.
I am rich but I generally suffer panic.
Either that or I get pissed and manic.
I’m a pessimist and I love to laugh
It makes women wet themselves,just like a bad cough!
But we’re too fragile to worry about such issues,
Just fill your handbags with plenty of thick tissues.
I’m a pessimist,I’m neurotic and depressed.
Will I feel better now that I have confessed?
But I earn money by writing all night long;
Then I lick my lover’s face with my bright red tongue.
That is more than enough.THE EDITOR.
No,it’s perfect.Just right.Word fun
The Aliens have no Maps.
A Map a Day keeps Words at Bay.
Read a Map without eyes: Touch your Way to Happiness.
I am a Map.
I am a Door Map.
Lonely and Mapless:Therapeutic advice from Angelic Geographers.
The Map of Heaven.
I see the Map but I have lost touch with Reality.
Maps of Desire.
Contour Lines for British Boys.
Equilevel Curves for Latin Men.
Isoquants for Greek lovers.
Equilateral computers for geeks and their lovers.
Triangles are ringing in my head.
Where is the Path of Wrath?
Isoquants for Greek Lovers.
-
I had a little nutmeg and drank a glass of wine
Then I fell asleep and dreamed I was divine.
When I was awoken by my little cat.
She was in the kitchen fighting with a rat.
I made myself an omelette in a special pan..
Eggs are full of protein so I ate up 21..
Then I had some custard,I made it yesterday.
Here is the policeman for the 60th time today
-
Unable to travel far
I concentrate more closely
On the flowers in my neighbours’ gardens
In one small road
One thousand jewels.
I close my eyes
To take in the scent
Of the late roses.
Of the late roses
-
The colour of the flowers
touches my eyes
more softly than a raindrop
Yet with the intensity of the sun
-
Of its time..10000 years ago.
Quaff these newts in ale.
She stole a cough off the shelf.
She stole the top of my head.
You are off your blogger now…
I feel a little old “miss you”
Oh brother.I want mother.I feel so sad.Can I sleep on your iPad?
Hello,God!
Oh my blood is wetter than I expected…thanks to drinking tea all day long.
-
Lyra’s a Bohemian girl
She makes even dead men’s hair curl!
She wears vintage skirts
And old blue denim shirts.
She has whopping golden earrings
And black fishnet stockings.
Lyra carries a black velvet tote
Full of the latest poems she wrote.
Lyra’s a Bohemian girl.
She makes even her own hair curl.
Lyra’s in love with an ancient Emperor,
His unreality does not prevent her.
She believes she is an Egyptian Queen
She sees Mark Antony in her dreams.
As she lies there covered in face cream,
Her unconscious plans more wondrous schemes
Which cause her psychoanalyst to despair.
About a man who isn’t actually here.
But the Emperor’s mad desire
Has set Lyra’s Bohemian mind on fire.
Desperate Freud got a bucket of cold water
And threw it over this delirious daughter.
He was,at the end,unable to maintain
The distance and silence he claimed
Was essential for a cure-
What a torment to endure!
Lyra made even Freud go crazy.
She’s one real cool Bohemian lady. -
I want silk and money.
I am past the witch’s efforts.Her broomstick broke.
This is the last Bazaar before the Day of Judgment,
Taste, but don’t eat.
I quaff beers with no limit
I laughed all the day as we sank,
Play down the law.
I got laid by a bard in a fable
