Tag: poem

When he went away

When he went away
He said,”Lehitraot,mama.”
Do vstrechi.
He died, but I’m still here
Yes,in my heart I feel his love.
But why did I live,
And he did not?
Auf wiedersehen
Lehitraot.
Yes,darling,I’ll see you later,LC3_3932
When the sky turns black and all the stars blaze bright
I’ll see you shining in the night.
I’ll see you in my dreams alas.
Do vstrechi.
But why you and not me too?
Araka
I can’t understand.
Lehitraot,beloved.
A plus tard
Some where in this world,you fell
But no-one,not even God, can tell.
God was absent then or in some other place
He’s gone again.
They said He’s died too,
But He didn’t have a mother like you.
Do vstrechi.
My breasts ache and my heart and soul,
My breasts were made to make you whole.
To feed, give love and to console.
A plus tard
And now they ache with grief as my tears fall.
A bientot
My body trembles in the night
As dreams may bring my lost ones to my sight.
A plus
I’d walk across the roughest bleak terrain
If l I could find my loves and hold your hands again.
Do vstrechi.
The bell rings on the ancient clock
As time goes on as normal,  never stops.
Araka
I wish the hands of time could be reversed,
And I was not living with this curse.
People forget that I once had a son.
They think my grieving has been done.
Araka.
But grief and loss and pain will never end
Until the curtain of my death descends
Auf wiedersehen.
Meantime I look at flowers and birds and trees,
But it’s really you my deepening insight sees.
Lehitraot.
Th inscape of my heart is shown to few,
An artist of the lost would know this view.
I know I want to see just you.
Do vstrechi.
But for me there is no
Auf wiedersehen
Never again will you say
What you said that day
Lehitraot,
Mama.
Papa
A plus tard
Tot ziens.
See you later
See you soon.
See you.
You
 my beloved son

For the worms

I feel my soul is trembling like a leaf
that clings on in the worst of a fierce gale
It will fall into the mud so far beneath,
though briefly through bright sunshine it may fall.

 
I am as nothing, trodden into earth.
And lower than the lowest living beast,
I make no estimation of my worth
and for the worms I shall provide a feast.

 

At first I thought that I could ride the storm
That I could live without your circling arm
But truth has taken hold of me entire.
The choice is death by mud or death by fire.

 
I know well I’ll be trampled with earth’s dust
No more to be an object of mere lust

Embodied love

Let your lips meet gently,

the top one resting against the lower,

touching with tenderness

your own skin to skin.

Forefinger propped on chin,

I let the others dangle,

like leaves on a branch;

how softly gravity tugs them downwards.

Let heart beat quietly,slowly

as the blood circulates

carrying its music,

a river,

following the path of least resistance.

How the blood vessels receive willingly this flow,

touching it kindly as with tiny open fingers,

helping and being helped.

How the hair on the head

floats

on the breeze,

like tentacles of an octopus

waving goodbye.

Top eyelid loves the lower one;

as we blink they touch

like lovers kissing swiftly

behind a tree.

and how the light comes in

we see a world.

[mine may not be yours,]

but the blink of my eyelid

sends waves through the air,

so we’re all touching and being touched,

lips kissing each other,

kiss all living creatures.

skin to skin.

air to air.

And inside us,the rich darkness

of creative night

transforms,in turn,

these touches

into dreams.

Blind sight

Image

 

Blind sight scattered my wits
Like whitened bones
Across the deserts of my mind.

I descended into blackness.
Love shrank into the tame cat
By the fire,unacknowledged hate
Grew to fill the room.
I stared too much,
A full stop grew gigantic
Crowded out
All the words in the sentence
I saw nothing but this dot
Now a gigantic black hole
Into which I was dragged.
An energy coming from within my own head
Sucked me into the black hole.
That place was the wrong sort of dearkness.
Within that full stop,
Love Fundamental became invisible.
Disappered into the dark.
I dragged my eyes away
And saw the moon appear , so eerie,
It shone,grey silver.
If I had opened my eyees wider
I would not now lament
What I destroyed in the wormhole
Of the black dot that drew my eye
Into a tunnel of darkness
It blinded me to the light
Did not let me read the sentences
Beside the full stop.
An error of focus left hate
Unacknowledged,unmitigated unredeemed,
Kept from love or goodness
Afraid to spoil my love with hate,
The fear of hate became
That which spoiled all else else,
By freezing Love itself

The notes in the margins

Munch-studio-Getty95002154

I’m finding Derrida de-structured
And Wittgenstein’s‘ mind makes me smile
Who would have conjectured
That one day I’d lecture
On thoughtfullness and all its trials?

I prefer Kierkegaard to Sartre
Who sometimes makes me feel  mere.
Who would have expected
That words would be texted
As men smoked cigarettes and drank beer?

Some people like reading Jane Austen
While others fight with Wittgenstein.
Who would have discarded
The notes in the margins?
So  strangely these words recombine.

Munch  had to paint people screaming,
his premonitions were strong
Who else would have expected
The human destruction
Europe brought to the world before long?

 

 

Munch was not only an artist
He was a philosopher too…
who else would have dreamed up
an image that screamed up;
a warning struck, out of the view.

 

 

Avoidance can be a grave error

I went to the doctor today

I was full of pathos and terror

I was ignorant of what he would say….
but avoidance can be a grave error.

He looked in my eyes with an egg box
He took my blood pressure and weight.
He said,have you seen any clocks?
I said,yes,but I ain’t only seen straight.

He tapped on my skull with a teaspoon
And remarked that my head sounded hollow.
I said,well there’s plenty of room
for all the ideas I  will follow.

He heard my pulse buzzing bee-like
And asked if I kept my  heart still.
I said,yes,it has a few flea bites…
but it disobeys the commands of my will.

He said, we must give up our egos
and trust in the great dark unknown..
And attempt to give money to beggar
As by our dried fruits we are known.

As far as my health goes,I’m perfect.
I’m average,ideal . I’m  the norm.
But in everyday life I am perplexed
As all the old rules are long gorn.

Thank you for crossing my hands,dear.
II need all of your silver and gold.
Love in its depths wipes out fear.
But don’t believe all you are told

May the fire not burn you

Standing close together,but not looking

We lean forward touching foreheads lightly against each other

Eyes closed

Tenderly we graze

On the other?s smell,skin,softness.

I feel your heart beating

As it it were mine.

We lean for a few more moments like this.

Wordless.But everything else speaks

Holding the broken places,with love.

Then we turn and walk away

Yet those moments last forever.

Foreheads touching,

Skin on skin..

Our boundaries.

You are another subjectivity

A real person

Wanting nothing but everything

I see your smile.

You were with me

And now we go our ways

On our own journey.

One meeting of souls

Remains a blessing forever

May you be blessed

May the fire not burn you

Nor the water drown you

May the Lord keep you always near him.

Forever blessed.

I release you.

Threads of gold

 Doodling


A heart pain woke me from my sleep.
Inside my soul there was a gap.
I tried to make it disappear;
To delete it from the map.

But still the ache persisted;
I tried hard to forget;
Till I sat down in my garden chair,
And stayed with my upset.

The sun may shine,
the birds may sing
But that to me
no pleasure brings
Because of my regret.

As I sat still upon my chair
To me three Angels did appear,
And they are with me yet.

They took my heart into their care,
With golden threads they are sewing there,
Until the work’s complete.

My task is just to sit quite still.
And let God’s angels do His Will,
As I sit  here at Her Feet.

From one hour to the next

Far from the madding rowdy crowds
with peace I long to be.
Away from noise and music loud
My soul desires to pray.

As palms were waved  and smiles blazed free
Jesus came to town.
Yet soon a different sight they’d see…
And hear the deathly groans.

From joy to woe we humans pass
From one hour to  the next.
For sins and troubles do harass…
And  impure hearts are vexed…

Yet we are told that in the end
Love will outdo death..
And so we beg for grace to lend
To us the strength to last.

As fast the river flows

  • Oh,John Joe was a farmer’s son

  • He lived up in the hills

  • When he went to tend his sheep

  • He saw the cotton mills.

  • The rivers ran with water pure

  • And so provided power

  • Yet over these dark ruined towns

  • The heathered hills did tower.

  • Mary was a local girl

  • She walked out on the moors

  • She wore a dress of silky cloth

  • Printed with small flowers.

  • John Joe saw Mary

  • When he was dipping sheep

  • She peered over a dry stone wall

  • And saw the new lambs leap.

  • Her hair was long.Her hair was gold

  • Her eyes were sapphire blue.

  • In John Joe’s eyes she was so fair

  • What was a man to do?

  • He watched her walking all alone

  • Was she sad or sick?

  • He showed her how his dog behaved

  • And showed her shepherds’ tricks.

  • So one day,he held her hand

  • As they walked to the Pike.

  • They stood up there and gazed all round

  • So John thought he would strike.

  • He bent down on his right knee

  • And spoke to Mary then.

  • I’ve loved you Mary since we met

  • I hoped we’d meet again

  • Mary smiled with her blue eyes;

  • Her lips were pink and bright.

  • I love you too and love the hills

  • And. love the summer light.

  • The next year they were married

  • Mary wore white lace.

  • She looked so happy then

  • To know she’d her own place.

  • The church bells rang,the people sang

  • John and Mary wed!

  • And naturally, when evening came,

  • At last they went to bed.

  • When Mary lay in John Joe’s arms

  • She knew this was her home.

  • And so for many many years

  • On the hills they roamed.

  • They cared for sheep and hens and goats

  • They cared for children three.

  • They never had a falling out…

  • But talked beneath a tree.

  • Fro youth to age the years went by

  • But John still loved his bride.

  • And Mary too was happy

  • With John Joe by her side.

  • Their faces,lined, were full of cheer

  • Their hair as white as snow

  • And everywhere that JJ went

  • Mary too did go.

  • Until the day came for his death

  • He lay down in the grass

  • Mary ran and held him close

  • And thus dear John did pass.

  • The muffled bells rang from the tower

  • John Joe was carried in.

  • The parson prayed and hymns were sung.

  • The sheep dog made a din.,

  • In the dark earth John was laid

  • and Mary wept and cried.

  • what will I do now,my sweet John ,

  • without you by my side?

  • So Mary grieved and wept and sighed

  • And thus she spent two years…

  • The loss was great and bent her back

  • with the weight of care.

  • For when we open up our hearts

  • We feel both joy and woe.

  • This is tha pattern of our love,

  • Which like the river flows

 

You are a notorious and naughty person

Image

You are a notorious and naughty person
You love both cursin’ and swearin’
You look like a crane.
Bei mir bist du shayn:
Because you’ve still got your hair on.

You have eyes like pools of  spring rain,

with a certain proud disdain.

Despite woe and pain,
Bei mir mist du shayn,
Because you’ve still got your brain

You have ears like small plates.
And you guzzle like a goat
Your hair is a mane
Bei mir du shayn
Because I liked how you wrote

If I go

Image

If I go I won’t tell you.
I’ll just disappear one day.
Like when a cigarette ,which seemed so long,
suddenly has become smaller
and you never noticed it
because you were talking
about the meaning of life
while life was somewhere else
blown away with your smoke
into the sky
and then dispersed
never quite visible again
but still floating on the breeze
hoping to be caught
in a butterfly net
but unable to communicate
except by flying.
If I go it will not be today
but it will be an ordinary day
no one will realise
that it’s that day
that the bird flies
from her nest
to go to a new place
only seeing the deserted nest
he realises,
my bird has flown

Oh,John Joe Brown,you were my man

Oh,John Joe was a jolly man.
He was the one for me.
He had ten fingers on his hands,
And always on my knee,

Oh,John Joe was my husband dear,
He slept upon my bed.
He had ten toes upon his feet,
No man was better bred.

Oh,Dear John Joe did pass away,
Whilst he lay on the grass.
And now ~I have no one aside of me,
How slow the night hours pass.

I love John Joe with all my heart,
I’ll never love a man
The way I loved my dear John Joe.
I don’t believe I can,

I read a twenty dozen books,
And went for therapee.
But all I want is my John Joe
In bed aside of me.

Oh come back John,Oh come back Joe
Don’t you leave me here.
Oh,John Joe I can’t live without
MY husband lying near.
Oh,life’s so simple,life’s so clear,
We all need work and love,
I have my work cut out today
A grieving for my dove
.
Oh,John Joe Brown,you were my man.
I’ll not have any more.
I wish I lay within your arms
Were oft I’ve lain before.

I’ve never lain wi’ noone else
And never will again,
If I can’t have my sweetheart John,
I’ll not have any man.

Oh,come back John,Oh,come back Joe
Don’t lay down in the grass.
I’ll bake thee cake and mutton pies..
So sweet the hours shall pass.

The promised land

=

Joy sings now in summer light;
Yet after day comes deep,black night.
New moon will rise by these gray trees.
Our earth is where I want to be.

I want the day;I want the night.
I want the dark;I want the light.
I want to see and to be seen,
And not to lose myself in dreams.

The sun has set,gray clouds turn black,
The day just gone will not come back.
I’ll rest in thoughtful reverie
Until the reaper’s scythe takes me.

And then I drop and mix with dust,
till worms and beetles sate their lust.
I fall into ten thousand motes,
And dance,in sunlight,music’s notes.

No more striving;no more ambition,
No more fighting;no competition,
Every particle’s the same
Without even its special name.

And, side by side, we all are one,
The lusts of life have been and gone.
We dwell with dirt and grain and sand
At last we’ve reached the Promised Land

Before we die

Ante mortem let us trust
For in the grave we turn to dust
Yet though  in life the poor are cursed
Treatment post mortem is just.

The worms and beetles care no more
For the rich than for the poor.
They are happy to devour
Bankers,despots,every hour.

Ante mortem, greed does win
Houses built of gold and sin
But God,who lives in each within,
Cares no more for gold thann tin

As post mortem, all are judged
By the book where sins are lodged
why don’t the rich and famous budge?
Their taxation’s boldly grudged

 

Give away your weighty goods
Live like daisies by the woods..
Fear not hurricane nor floods
Daises grow even in mud.

More dependent on all power
We trust in madmen’s city towers.
Yet One told us to live like flowers…
And enjoy life for an hour.

Perception is no privilege.
We each have the wits to judge.
See and note where you have smudged
What your creation would allege.

Post and ante, even now
The currents of our hearts allow…
The inner sea which has its flow
To take us where we need to go

 

Postmodernism preys

Postmodernism’s the fashion ne’er manque.
We must study Foucault and his scribes.
Get reason trapped and do not court  delay.
You need to find your intellectual tribe.

Where is the goose which laid the golden egg..
Invented meta-talk and fairy tales?
Which narrative is balanced on a peg?
Which philosopher gets re-homed by a whale?

Where is the whole truth and the nothing but?
Whose ‘ the eye which sees reality?
Who ‘s the judge who makes the final cut?
Where is the God to whom we owed fealty?

Now nothing is what anyone can say.
I understand it’s meaningless to pray

Roaming through wild poppy fields

In the land which dreams dwell in,

where love  and hate and life begin;

where swiftly the deep rivers flow

from lost lands of long ago.

I wander through wild poppy fields

Underfoot the sweet earth yields….

I see the flowering fruit trees start.

Their blossoms gather round my heart…

I hear the sparrows sing with joy

And bees their busy wings employ.

In those lost lands I saw your face

And now I long for your embrace.

Are you real or make believe?

From this earth we all take leave.

Earth to earth and ash to ash

Glory,pride and boasting pass.

Leave me now,my ghostly one

Soon I too will be called on.

Nothing lasts but truth is real

Keep the faith and your ideals..

Earth to earth ,we’ll rest in clay

We must gi ve ourselves away

Softly on this earth I roam

Seeking my love and my home

and until the very end

Love eternal may descend

Spiritual verses

  • Gravity
    Oh, cradle my soul in your light
  • As I am in darkness tonight.
  • Fill me with your love
  • On earth,not above.
  • Your touch is both gentle and bright.
  • Seeing and feeling are one.
  • As senses conjoin yet are none.
  • I know it is so
  • The darkness shall glow
  • You are both god and person.
  • It seems like the heavens are weeping
  • Rain and snow fall while we’re sleeping
  • The clouds are grey black
  • As Northward they trek.
  • As for records, are they all we are keeping?
  • We dwell in a body of flesh
  • With others we love to enmesh.
  • Let’s get up and dance now
  • Love shows us how…
  • We dance to the tunes that refresh
  • We humans need meaning to create
  • The meaningless can agitate.
  • But stories abound.
  • Pick the best you have fo found
  • Get in there and start to narrate
  • In nature time goes round and round
  • Life’s a spiral, the wise man has found.
  • Each time I pass you
  • I see you anew
  • Until gently we are laid in the ground.
  • The end is the beginning,they say.
  • So say what is important today.
  • For time flows like a stream;
  •  What is ,soon has been.
  • So we are foolish to encourage delay

You are of this earth

You  came  to be here gradually,
from the whirling chaos of the dreaming infant,
anchored by the maternal hand to earth.
Do not try to fly back to heaven today.
Be patient;your guides will,with no effort,
Teach you the patterns and the dance.
All you need is to be open and to trust,
For you have a place in the world.
We need your contribution.No-one else
will see this world from your perspective.
And as you trust the chaos now,fear it not
Should it return.Every creative act
involves the breaking of these barriers
by which we keep the chairs and tables
anchored into themselves.The patterns may break up
but new ones are somewhere near.Patience
with this suffering is the only route now.
You cannot go back.Heaven comes only after
you have grown roots into this earth,
grown sunward,and travailed the storms
and stinging blows;
have grown your flowers and leaves
And let them fall.
Accept.
The only way you can go
is the earthly way.
You are part of us.
We love you.
Our hands are reaching out
If you just lift your eyes.
In the Chaos,God danced and rainbows
Flew from his hands and tears fell from his eyes.
Those tears which fertilised our earth.
He wept, knowing of the pain to come;
And yet,he did not cease to dance.

I asked,why do you smoke when we kiss?

Image

My husband is so enigmatic

he makes  Mona Lisa  dramatic.

Except for the night

The bed set alight

And he screamed on a scale near chromatic.

 

I said, why do you smoke when we kiss?

Apart from that,love is pure bliss

He said,my heart is on fire,

The smoke ascapes via

My mouth. my nose,my desire

He was my epiphany

Loose in the fields of green…
Oh, my own lover!
He was such a bold flirt;
with his love unclaimed,
he could recite George Boole
he was one of the old Cool.
He never reached his goal.
so with my bling and some flair
I hoped he’d open the enchanted bud
To the music of his lyre.
I’ll pray this for him:
T hat he should find what he wreaks
and write it down with a stylus.
Really he is the allurement of angels
He was my epiphany
Make it up, as the clocks clang..
It’s not really you…it’s just an affliction.
I can do nothing for my calves
It’s because of all the punning I did once.
I can’t even lump a stone over a wall now.
My arms are as weak as Trojans.
I never suffer viruses to be declassified.
Like I said,just wink and say a prayer..
In God we dare

On barren ground

 

When you struck me,I vibrated like a kettle drum,
then as smaller percussions and repercussions
echoing from all the glassy surfaces
creating a balletic geometry of sound tracks
in space and time.

When you knocked me down,
I fell against her and her and her;
we were like a row of skittles
and we all went down with the lifeboat;
The infinite chain of being is.

When you hit me,the Fall spread across the world
Now there is no Vertical
All is undivine and graceless.
By the Rod it’s ruled

When you left me,I left myself,the world,the rocks,dry land
I weighed down sank to the ocean bed
with coral eyes
gazing.

When you struck my mind
I became an instrument of a foreign power
Singing a song I didn’t know.

When the glass was smashed
the splinters flew into all our hearts.
You didn’t know what we couldn’t see.

I lay on barren ground and gave birth
To my own Creator in the desert.

My own Creator

When you struck me,i vibrated like a kettle drum
then as smaller percussions and repercussions
echoing from all the glassy surfaces
creating a balletic geometry of sound tracks
in space and time.

When you knocked me down,
I fell against her and her and her;
we were like a row of skittles
and we all went down with the lifeboat;
the infinite chain of being is.

When you hit me,the Fall spread across the world
Now there is no Vertical
All is undivine and graceless.
By the Rod it’s ruled

When you left me,I left myself,the world,the rocks,dry land
I weighed down sank to the ocean bed
with coral eyes
gazing.

When you struck my mind
I became an instrument of a foreign power
Singing a song I didn’t kmow.

When the glass was smashed
the splinters flew into all our hearts.
You didn’t know what we couldn’t see.

I lay on barren ground and gave birth
To my own Creator in the desert.
He was not dead at all.

Did you kill him?

Wind dismays the flowering rose

 
 
 
 

Apples hang low near the ground.
robins chirrup all around.
sun on glowing maple leaves
gives a red glow that deceives.wint

Autumn air is flowing near,

though it’s still bright summer  here.

wind dismays the flowering rose
as with arrogance it blows.

Leave me one flowerfor my eyes.
Leave me roses,as I sigh.
Leave me not my dearest one.
Soon enough we shall be gone.

What remains is love alone.
If your heart is not of stone,
Fear not sorrow,fear not woe.

Into this earth all must go.

 

 

Heroes

 

Odysseus travels across the nuclear seas

 

In  March madness. Where are you dear stranger?

 

I lost you to a computer , now I weave my web

 

To tempt you home .Eastern zones where people scream

 

In silence are   not the place for your journey.

 

Oh, timeless zone of wanderers ,send him back.

 

I love this green eyed stranger ,this star angel

 

From above. He shone like a crackling nuclear reactor

 

As we walked along the edge of the world,

 

Where  the  seven  seas roar endlessly.

 

Are you Hamlet’s ghost?

 

Could Shakespeare write your tragic story?

 

We have no stature now,leaning into the laptops

 

Talking into the air, like people trapped in hidden ellipses

 

We stare out, unseeing. We listen but hear nothing.

 

Where are you ,my  stranger. The sea boils in anguish.

 

I await you ,the  unseen, the unknown.

 

 

I can’t love you without

I can’t love without

I can’t love you

without loving the whole world too.
I can’t open my heart

unless everyone can be part

Wait for me.

I’m not afraid.
Wait for me.

I may be delayed.

I see you in my mind

Smiling, sad and kind.
I can’t love you

Unless I love the lost too.

Give me your hands

Outstretched across the  strands
We’re all one.

Life has begun