This thought came to me last night.I looked  back to my adolescence and to my constantly thinking about my wishes,my needs,my sins,my guilt… and now I believe it was living in a very repressive home and school environment.I believe I was on the verge of madness.But luckily I got a full grant to go to University.That was so much better that my mind improved very much.I had my own money.. not alot,but sufficient.And people treated me with respect.No longer was I in a guilt ridden and powerless state.
 Sometimes there’s nothing wrong with us but our environment is not right.Also I was so totally lonely…no-one seemed interested in me.I had no money to go out.Thank goodness in that era the government paid for the  poorer students to go to college.

 That kind of thinking was more like brooding or ruminating…I had no obvious way out.