Annie was getting ready to go out with Stan to a Wedding.She wore her newest Autumn/Winter clothes.On her lower half she wore a full,long snakeskin print skirt over a fifties style stiff petticoat whilst on her top half she wore a deep ochre boat necked jumper.Underneath her skirt a pair of chafe prevention shorts gave her extra warmth.She debated for a while about shoes and eventually decided her teal calf length boots from Hotters’ Sale with a pair of socks from Next would suffice,She looked in the mirror.Her freshly washed hair[ with a sulfate free shampoo ] sprang from her head not unlike one of the Gorgons’ distant relatives.
Picking up her full length leopard skin coat from Jacques Vert and her red handbag she ran to the door where Stan stood.He wore a machine washable suit from Marks and Spencer with a blue flowered shirt and striped multicoloured tie from TieRack .His short hair was covered by a woollen hat as they were going to a Jewish Wedding and he did not wish to offend anyone with his bald head.
How does my new makeup look asked Annie?
I can’t see it at all,Stan said shyly.Do I need my reading glasses?
It’s what they call the natural look,she replied.I have got on continuously creamy foundation in light beige over Clarins every day moisturiser and tjeir sunblock Factor 50.
It is so expensive that I can’t eat meat fo a month.
My goodness, Stan moaned.What shade is that lipstick?
It’s called Romantic Rose,she said .but it’s really more a light coral with a hint of red.
As for my eye makeup,it’s the usual purple mascara and teal eyeshadow.
Do you think coral and purple go together? said Stan querulously.
Never mind,she replied,I am more worried about my skirt.Is snakeskin a mistake at a Wedding ?
Oh,no,said Stan.It will remind people of Adam and Eve in Eden.And the snake is also a phallic symbol which seems good..I am just not sure about the leopardskin coat.
Don’t worry she replied I have got a plain dark brown coat in pure new wool here.Shall I wear that?
Stan sat down on a folding chair to wait for her to finish powdering her complexion with MaxFactor Creme powder and topping her lipstick with a thin coat of some preservative so that if she kissed anyone the lipstick would not bleed into the fine lines around her mouth.
Suddenly Stan’s chair folded up and threw him to the ground.
Is it broken ,he asked nervously from the doormat..
No, it’s ok.I don’t want to ring 999 now.Let’s see how it is when we get back.
Right,said Stan.Let’s go before any more chairs collapse or any paramedics arrive.
How my heart sings 