The life of Moses after being encrypted

I’m afraid it does not come out properly so it’s not you it’s me. I will try and fix it later on

Moses was encrypted after Four-Eyes daughter found him in a basket.

So he was completely secure and emoted

down the river Tile then he actually rescued a bull from some Russians and proved to be a highly belligerent man if he was extremely holy so he said.

Later he married Cleopatra and had many children and they decided to seek the promised land. I don’t know where he heard is that but it’s a dream that we all have isn’t it to find the perfect place to live with the perfect spares or partner

At that time  they had no paper or ballpoint pens not even a fountain pens. They used to engrave things onto flat stones but it was very slow progress

Can you imagine students sitting an examination and they had to  engrave their answers on a stone or tablet? Or even if they had a Reed pen and had to paint there I think the mathematics would have been rather difficult but despite that they built a Temple in the time of Solomon

So the only map they had was on a flat stone which was rather heavy to carry about it and so they were lost  for 40 years in the Sign-pie desert. But it gives them plenty of time to increase their families although what they  food was no one really knows unless it was manna.

When they were in the promised land land god sent them a tablet with his 10 nrw rules of Life engraved on it.

It was so heavy that holy Moses memorised the rules and left the the tablet hidden in a burning bush on the side of the mountain

And it has never  been discovered. One day somebody will find it and I will share.

After that Moses people tried to write the Bible using a new invention papyrus. And a pen made from reeds so they  painted the words on. But that did not last as long as an engraving would 

Because of all the work that Moses had to do do he lived to be much older than we would ever be and this was true of the lot of the ancient patriarchs like Noah and Abraham

After that Moses’ people tried to write the Bible using a new invention papyrus. And a pen made from reeds so they  painted the words on. But that did not last as long as an engraving would. Printing had not really invented so they wrote on long throws of Paris and then they roll them up and tie them with thread and that is why the Old Testament as Christians call it was not a book in the conventional sense that we have nowadays.

Because it’s very slow for new things to be discovered like the printing press we should also live very slowly and not rush and try to finishv the life of Mosesthings quickly

Because of all the work that Moses had to do he lived to be much older than we would ever be and this was true of the lot of the ancient patriarchs like Noah and Abraham

Their ecstatic yelps

And it came to pass that they ate their dinner and that she did washeth up.

And she did leave the dishes to drain

Whilst she put on the washing machine.

and the man was very pleased.

And it further came to pass that she gave the man some pudding and he was more pleased.

And then it came to pass the he fell asleep

By the fire. And the Lord God,said who is this man that sleepeth by his fire?

And he said,I shall waken him up

And the man awoke,

And God spake unto him

How is it that the woman laboureth in ye kitchen.

And that thou sleepeth here in an armchair.

and the man said,

but Thou didst order women to labour.

And the Lord God said unto the man

Why dost Thou remember so selectively what I have said?

And the man said, I knoweth not and therefore I will help this woman.

And the Lord God said, Why dost thou not think of it thyself?

And the man said in reply, It was Thou that made me,O God

And the Lord God was displeased with the man.

so he called down a plague of butterflies

To prevent him from sleeping.

And when the woman came in

she was much pleased to see these butterflies

and so she fell onto the man

And he did make love unto her.

And the cat was very pleased.

For it thrilled him to watch humans mating and gave him hope

That the Lord God would take his rib and make a mate for him.

And indeed it doth seem to have happened

Judging by all the cats staring in ye old window here

And by their ecstatic yelps

That the Lord God was very generous with them and made them many mates.

For truly there is no jealousy among them

And they mate freely and happily and never have rows

about the washing up..as they eat straight from the can.Amen

38 Dishonest Tricks of Argument by Thouless

Ancient Greek alphabet
Ancient Greek alphabet (Photo credit: GeoNando)

Solomon
Solomon (Photo credit: Lawrence OP)

Pan(Straight and Crooked Thinking)
Pan(Straight and Crooked Thinking) (Photo credit: danielweiresq)

The first four letters of the Ashuri alphabet;...
The first four letters of the Ashuri alphabet; using the font DavkaStam. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

38 Dishonest Tricks of Argument Thouless

I have  got this book somewhere :Straight and Crooked Thinking by Robert Thouless and it’s very good….Logic is important but all sorts of tricks can be used to persuade us of viewpoint which may be untrue

This is a fascinating website too.. if  you’d like to know more about the Hebrew alphabet and how crucial it is for it Christians to see the importance of  the Hebrew Bible and to understand it…

And look out for my new book

Nerds of the Bible [smile]

with apologies to Solomon

Why there are ten commandments

Moses with the Ten Commandments
Moses with the Ten Commandments (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

English: Moses Pleading with Israel, as in Deu...
English: Moses Pleading with Israel, as in Deuteronomy 6:1-15, illustration from a Bible card published 1907 by the Providence Lithograph Company (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

 

 

 

When Moses climbed the mountain
And he got to the top,
God was waiting for him,
He didn’t say a lot.
He said, Take my commandments
They are written on this stone,
I have only fifty,
Or was it fifty one?
Moses was very worried
~about the human race.
Fifty one commandments
Would meet with strong distaste.
So he told God his troubles
And God thought long and hard.
He came back with the commandments
Written on a card.
How many have you got there?
Moses politely said?
I’ve got it down to ten, said God.
His eyes were very red.
So Moses took the postcard
And put it on his pad.
He said I’d better get back down.
Oh, and thank you Dad!
When Moses got to earth
He called his people near.
He produced his i Pad.
Look what I’ve got here!
I saw God on the mountain.
He gave me a few rules.
They’re easy to remember.
We are not moral fools.
How many of these rules
Has God given to you?
I got it down to ten.
Let’s see how we can do.
Ten is far too many,
Some of the people cried.
We don’t want these rules.
We hate to feel we’re tied.
But all games have their rules.
They’re what define the game.
If we had utter chaos
This loss would be a shame.
As pictures have their frames,
And lessons have strict times.
We need some good constructions,
Like poems need their rhymes.
So all his people heard him.
And they agreed to try.
They lived as best they could
Until they came to die.
But one part of this story
We will never know–
What were all those commandments
That Moses did not show?
And why did God give in
To Moses’ bargain plea?
Do not ask for Moses,
For Moses name is “ME”

The Bible add on:Evening at home

NEW RELIGIOUS TAX ON KOSHER DOGS IS UNFAIR!
NEW RELIGIOUS TAX ON KOSHER DOGS IS UNFAIR! (Photo credit: roberthuffstutter)

Easter morning headline
Easter morning headline (Photo credit: c_neuhaus)

Thus Saith The Lord God
Thus Saith The Lord God (Photo credit: premasagar)

And it came to pass that they ate their dinner
and that she did washeth up.
And she did leave the dishes to drain
Whilst she put on the washing machine.
and the man was very pleased.

And it further came to pass
that she gave the man some pudding
and he was more pleased.
And then it came to pass the he fell asleep
By the fire.

And the Lord God,said
who is this man that sleepeth by his fire?
And He said,I shall waken him up
And the man awoke,
And God spake unto him

How is it that the woman laboureth in ye kitchen.
And that thou sleepeth here in an armchair.
And the man said,
But Thou didst order women to labour.
And the Lord God said unto the man
Why dost thou remember so selectively what I have said?
And the man said,
I knoweth not and therefore I will help this woman.
And the Lord God said,
Why dost thou not think of it thyself?
And the man said in reply,
It was Thou that made me,O God.

And the Lord God was displeased with the man.
so he called down a plague of butterflies
To prevent him from sleeping.
And when the woman came in
she was much pleased to see these butterflies
and so she fell onto the man
And he did make love unto her.
And the cat was very pleased.

For it thrilled a cat to watch humans loving
and gave him hope
That the Lord God would take his rib and make a mate for him.
And indeed it doth seem to have happened
Judging by all the cats staring in ye old window here;
And by their ecstatic yelps
That the Lord God was very generous with them
and made them many mates.
For truly there is no jealousy among them
And they mate freely and happily
and never have rows about the washing up..
as they eat straight from the can.Amen

Here endeth today’s lesson.
Be thou kind to thy mate always

Get me fixed

The Gutenberg Bible displayed by the United St...
The Gutenberg Bible displayed by the United States Library of Congress, demonstrating printed pages as a storage medium. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Monument to Franz Kafka by the sculptor Jarosl...
Monument to Franz Kafka by the sculptor Jaroslav Róna (2003), next to the Spanish synagoge, in Prague, Czech Republic. Bronze, height 375cm. Note: Freedom of panorama#Czech Republic Français : Monument à Franz Kafka, œuvre du sculpteur Jaroslav Róna (2003), près de la la synagogue espagnole à Prague, en République tchèque. Bronze, hauteur : 375 cm. Note : Liberté de panorama#Tchéquie (République tchèque) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Get me fixed

No tricks

Nemesis
Expects’ a fuss.
Politics are us.
Wonders.
Blunders
Due to anemones.
Rush her.
Plusher
Fudges
Grudges
saw the truth
For a tooth.
Ran as fell
Tame me well.
Monocles.
Oracles
Fez for her
Lez for a tear
No floor.
No door.
What’s not here?
Impressed her?
Compressed air/
Daub
Enrobe
Alarms
Terms
Bothers
Cloth ears
He clears the fish quays
Wrongs of followed men
He’s a liar
Eye in the sky-er
Tormented equations.
Misquotations
How detailed.
Bow to females
Canny as hell
Planned as well
Oh,his ear.
Never fear.
Panic rations
Euphoric nations

Kafka ‘s passions

Iron aint rationed
Coal.
Whole
Shameless.
Blameless
Oh,I’ll try her!
In a coma
with a Adorno.
Keeps men warmer.
Seek her
Peek at her
Saw ’em
Flawed ’em
Take a look.
Bake the cook.
What a fluke.
Are you a duke?
The chef’s a liar
I’m the Messiah.
Tomorrow we fire.
Saggy and grey
You’re on the Way
No pariah’s
Ban on liars.
Hell,it fires
See the spires
Fallacy
Well,we’ll see.

Hell,it’s he

Geza Vermes:An interview

Geza Vermes:An interview

This is well worth reading,if only for the history of one Jewish man’s survival of the Nazi‘s attmept to wipe out Hungarian Jews.I feel his books would be worth reading.I shall post  if and when I read them

Wholly writ:The New Termagants

A friend  has written this  long thin list on another blog site and gave me permission to use it.

political-pictures-darth-vader-blasphemy-style

See this blog!       [ http://funnypicturesfreehd.blogspot.co.uk/2012/03/funny-%5Dreligious-pictures.html

List

Hospitals.
Love you
Have you?
In the park
Remark
Look
A book
A scone
Gone!
Tact
In fact
Rolling Thistles
Howls and whistles
Numinous
Humorous
Voluminous
Labyrinthian
My relations
Migrations
No pleasin’ ’em
Never again
When?
Oh,then!
Squeezing ’em
The Glossy Ones-
The Flossy Ones
Philharmonia
New harmonia
Pneumonia
Wrestle only with men
Angels exempt.
So he dreamt
Tremble only again
Amen
Arrythmia
Dysthmia
As dim as he.
Limbs run free
Pleats
Fill ’em in
Drill and bin
Non Brawling Thistles
He grows
Neighbours
The Remains
The Fast trains
Delete her
Pleat the heater
Neater
Done
Fun
A verb
Parse a sentence on him
Lewd when viewed
Very rude
Devaluation
No Fears while your relations are on.
Dissertations
Misinterpretations
Theses
In pieces
Martin Who There?

New Books for the duped

How to make love in a cardboard box by A.Homeless- Manne

Fucking  that Fiction by Jason Give-me -the Creeps-Again.

Loving your bites by M.Dogge

How to be more obscene than I by George Grammar

Men and other post modern Fictions  by Merlin Ponto.

Freud for the Fucked up by Plain Sigher

Satyrs and satire by Sasi Sartro

Beavers love  lives reexamined by A.French.

Hatred is bad for your Love Life by Good Wimmin

How to post Modern Poetry by No Moore-Truth N.A

Fat,Fed up and Fucked  by  the “Come Diet with me” group

Sort out your Crap by Jane Knowitall

Obscenity for Dummies by Big Bad Man

I like Bullshit the best by Whoreman Taylor

They saw him coming by Bad Girls

Find your H spot by Good Doctor

Dariel and the Head Muckers by M.Daemon

Poetry for Perverted Animals by A Vet [D.Sc.]

I wrote this crap myself by A N Dildoson

Grammar for Girls who  hate Shit by Minx Teacher

Commentaries are Crap by Cate Calmo

Crap your way to success by Freda Markup

Damned demons haunted  me hourly by Denis  Menacedt

New types of Shit  for Beginners by Terence Arse.

Say it with Word by A Processor

Swearing for Success by Potato Turnip

How Obscenity can Change Your ~Life/Wife/Strife.

Be even more Obscene with my Tips by Callia Girls

Write your own  bloody Prescriptions by Ima Dokter

X ratings for winners by B.A.Follywood

Who shat there  last? by T.H.E,.Prime Minstere

Blogging for Beggars by T.H.E Bumm

How buggers blocked my blog by A.Nite-Lite

Violent virgins by Eve Monster,B.A [Huns]

Where to go when utterly fucked by I.W.A.S.Clegg.Ph.D

Bloody Books by Boris Bum M.A

Mind your Ass by Mary Lambs.

Fools’ Folly by Fred Dread.

Folly me to Bed by Ally Cat.

Swearing is simpler by Short Tempered-Manne

Bums,butts and bottoms for the bewildered by Bary Mee.

Do it in the loo by W.C.Humor and sons

Lose your virginity tonite by A.M.A Groper.Ph.D

How to swear better by I.A.M.Insane-Now

Rude bits of the Bible collected   and  annotated by Ravia Gorilla [with photographs.]

Fuck my Fat by Frezzia Wimmin

Fucking for the Feckless by Fairy Jane.

From Fecklessness to Fucked  Up by F.Off [B.Sc.]

Baking with Shit all by Maria Belly-Button

How to starve by Benny Fit-Collector

How to bake dogs by Chinese Cooks