Tag: art

Five Reasons Why We Need Poetry in Schools | Edutopia

THERE was a time when meadow, grove, and stream,
    The earth, and every common sight,
            To me did seem
    Apparell’d in celestial light,
The glory and the freshness of a dream.          5
It is not now as it hath been of yore;—
        Turn wheresoe’er I may,
            By night or day,
The things which I have seen I now can see no more.

William  Wordsworth wrote the  poem above

Five Reasons Why We Need Poetry in Schools | Edutopia.

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The Old English epic poem Beowulf is written i...
The Old English epic poem Beowulf is written in alliterative verse and paragraphs, not in lines or stanzas. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I believe it’s very good to learn poetry by heart;I was lucky to study modern poetry in school.Poetry can express feelings and knowledge that ordinary language cannot.

I found out after writing some poetry myself that it made reading poetry much easier.So I recommend writing poetry even if it’s terrible because you learn so much and it opens a door into a new world

I love the Ode by Wordsworth.I never tried to learn it.It learned me!

Related articles

Creation

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

by Mike Flemming copyright

My old blue fountain pen allows
The ink across this page to flow
Like wet paint from an artist’s brush,
And words come in a rush.
Enchanted by the hand that writes .
Bewitched by art,beauty alights
The script is like a music score
Through which we step as through a door,
Imagination’s home.
As,mysteriously, to you, to me,
The spirits of our hearts are tamed ,
By rhythms of pen,of brush, of mind,
They enter vision quite unplanned,
Like moths to flutter softly round
Fire joined heart and hand
The pen slows down,the hand grows still,
And ,just as dreams at daybreak will,
They shrink,they disappear,they’re gone
Like dew dies in hot sun

Oxford Holy Riddle

6819924_f1126074c2_m brighter
Gold stone from Cotswold quarries young men brought

And built into a way of life for those who bought

Their lives so cheaply,And did not see

The children’s eyes,the ball,.the game ,the tree

Of life that grew in small backyards and gave all

To those who climbed into its arms.

Why should this not be you?

Oh,Eden,I see that you are nearer now

In lowly homes where love is free

Than in the temple, grove,and soft set brow

Of those who worship God in churches built of gold.

Now we must know that this is easy to behold

When sun is setting,and escapes the ashes

Thrown up and floating in the watches

Of the days of voter’e eyes cast up to skies

and,wondering fearful, what will come

when all the secret deals are done.

So take the gold of life and let it fall

Into your children’s growing souls

And let this Cotswold town and spires

Melt into sunset’s glowing orange fires.

What photos make good subjects for digital art?

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A first I  drew with Microsoft Paint Program.I did cats,apples and abstracts

I found Microsoft Paint by accident.I had not heard of, knew nothing  such things.I spent about a year and a half playing with it  especially when I had a few months of illness.I  made some abstracts and then a great many cat pictures.It made me realize it o.k to simplify.to do so;you have no choice with Paint And that what I really like drawing is two objects in relation like two cats or apples.I tried three cats as well.It has that advantage… you discover what you personally like to draw.Ideally I’d prefer watercolor or pastels but I had no class I could manage then,

Arty party

cat2 alone

 

??????????

What will happen?

Naive art!

This is the family of three… a child has arrived

Cat is cross

 Moving on from Paint,I discovered Artweaver and Paint.Net both free.I experimented and found for transforming a photo  it’s good to use  photographss with  strong shapes and pattern  like trees,cracks in the pavement,gates,fencing,certain buildings,climbing shrubs  on a wall…..natural patterns

bus stop 6A tree trunk

Cracks in the pavement 3

Cracks in our pavement down the  end of the  street

Cracks in the pavement

Cracks in the pavement.It looks better in color

Cracks in the pavement 4

Here I used Paint to add birdlike shapes to the  previous image

The top image below is from a photo of a mosquito  bite on my thigh after I scratched it so there was a little blood

another insect bite 3

From my trees collection

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What not to use.. don’t use photos with a large area in one color…even if it looks ok as a photograph

Apple tree and sunshineThe light here is a problem for using this in digital art… but it’s intriguing as it is

I found ignorance quite helpful in a way as I had no expectations…..which is very important I believe.

Should Eve and Adam still be here on earth

There is a sense that permeates our souls
Which places value on the good of all.
Humankind is viewed then as a whole.
Blame not allocated to  a Fall.
Shall we believe that God can sulk for aeons
That he will torment  creatures for their sin?
Such theories are dilemmas to our brains
And put us in a  race we cannot win.
Should Eve and Adam still be here on earth
If  on that plum they had not sucked and bit?
It makes our lives seem to have little worth
To take this as a given in Holy Writ.
For  life’s for adults, not for girls and boys.
Do simple theories take the place of toys?

Cherry tree branches

Cracks in the pavement
Look like rivers approaching
an estuary.

Natural beauty,
the shapes and forms wandering,
sanctifies the road.

Cherry trees branches,
A wide canopy of leaves,
Blossom blows away

Sung geometry,
held still and made eternal,
Catches at my throat.

Sonnets for all

  1. A sonnet is a poetic form which originated in Italy; Giacomo Da Lentini is credited with its invention. The term sonnet is derived from the Italian word sonetto (from Old Provençal sonet a little poem, from son song, from Latin sonus a sound).Wikipedia

You must read

When you are writing you will be using whatever you have stocked your mind with.So reading poetry and fiction and other writing is crucial.and of course your life and what has happened to you or your society will be present in your writing..I find keeping a l journal of things which make an emotional impact on me is helpful.Read what you like but not rubbish.Please.

Starting with the sonnet form

The first line of Gray’s Elegy has the right meter.for a sonnet.

“The curfew tolls the knell of parting day.”

So you must write a line to that music:

The clouds rise up and race across the sky

for example; then you need a second line.I find these two lines must be interesting.emotional ,deep or symbolic .After that the structure determines to some extent how you can develop your poem…Fourteen lines according to the pattern below.

ABAB CDCD EFEF GG

Sonnets are usually serious but it is possible to write a humorous one.Historically it was the metaphysical poets who wrote this way about love and death…John Donne is one of them..He wrote the famous poem

No man is an island

/Brightness
Brightness

Eve's temptation

Sonnet on writing a poem

Poetry is the art of shaping words

The structure contributes to make the whole.

And writing sonnets is not just for us nerds.

Creating structures helps to create our souls.

Yet many folk are frightened by the risk

Of imperfection,criticism and pain.

But for myself, I love this frightening task.

so gaily I sit down to write again.

Though what I write may not be alpha plus.

The chance to share my feelings lures me on.

And when I travel on a London bus

I write a note before my thoughts are gone

We each can be creative in  some way

And find  our happiness. from being gay

Do we want to be equal?

photo00493 2

A jug by  Katherine
It seems that many  men and women loved ”  Fifty shades of grey”  which is sado-masochistic..I fear I only managed 5 pages and tossed it aside like an oldglove,as my husband used to say.But just now I was reading a little of a book whichmentions an issue close to that

The Death of Sigmund Freud: Fascism, Psychoanalysis and the Rise of Fundamentalism

Mark Edmundson
Quote:Freud became preoccupied by tyranny.. with human beings hunger  for power…and  with the human desire to be dominated…..
Freud appeared to believe many of us like to be dominated and certainly the way many women dress nowadays and indeed in the last two hundred years at least in  Europe seems to show that they are prepared to suffer pain in order to gain male attention with shape-wear,underwired bras,high heels and also plastic surgery.
and they will do  all that to get a man and then complain when he asks them to boil a few hundred handkerchiefs or make a bed.Actually we bought our bed in a shop but you catch my drift?Do we really wissh to be equal politically or personally?

Modesty again

S

Stan and his sweet blonde girlfriend Anne were studying government data on inflation.He wanted to give a lecture for senior citizens.

Why are you wearing those smart wool trousers and black tights,darling? he enquired kindly.

Well,it’s the the fashion dear heart, and more modest than a mini skirt for if I bend over I’m protected.Her answer seemed ludicrous With her sweet bosom,hips and tight clothing it was hard for Anne to give any semblance of modesty.

Wouldn’t a maxi skirt be modest?I saw some in Marks last week.I bought one for Mary

Do you often buy her clothes? Annie asked with surprise.

She used to do it once  …. but she stopped because she’s hopeless at dressing.She’go out in pyjamas left to herself

Well,silk jim jams are the summer fashion this year.

Can I have some,please? miaowed   the cat,Emily.

You already have some silk nightgowns… four!

Do you really buy nightgowns for the cat?asked Anne incredulously

Well she sleeps with me now you know,as I like to hear someone breathing at night.Mary  is downstairs studying algebra.She only needs three hours sleep.And she has no interest in loving me.It’s a puzzle how she bore our two daughters Lyra and Desiree.She says she found them under a gooseberry bush, but they look very like Bill Clinton.

Was Bill fond of gooseberry bushes too?They have big thorns.

He would not let a few thorns put him off…he’s a very tough man.

What about goats’ horns.. would they put him off? Or Matterhorns?

Let’s get back to statistics,my beloved,Stan murmured foolishly

I’ll just boil the kettle,my lambkin

I prefer boiling water for coffee.

Stan  was famed for his wacky sense of humor………….amongst the friends of theirs who all taught maths or played cricket for England.Annie  walked away looking charming in her black wool city shorts with shiny patent leather boots.Her chest distracted him as she wore only a yellow vest.

Have you not got a cardigan ,darling,he whispered shyly.

No,the moths ate it but I’m going shopping later she muttered

.I hope you’ll wear a coat.You might catch a chill,he said anxiously

Fret not,,I’ll drive down.Annie screamed
.You are 55 now you know…you are not a girl.Modesty is a wise trait for mature ladies. Modesty………I gave that up years ago.I dress how I feel.

Well,you make me want a feel.Suddenly the leg fell of his chair and it collapsed tossing him onto the floor,As he lay there he muttered sarcastically,

I blame those trousers of yours! Call 999.

She tore off her trousers to reveal some black silky lace flowered underwear

Is that better? she enquired chastely .

I suggest you get tested forAsperger’s syndrome,he shouted.

I have enough trouble with Tourette’s she whispered tenderly.It makes me say bad words…………..

I’ve never heard you.What sort of words?

Like, “Be off,you silly twit.”

That sounds funny to me.he responded sweetly.

Can you tell me some more bad words?

No I can’t,you dolt!

Why not,my angel?

Well,isn’t this a family friendly web site?

Nowadays,what does family mean?Two ladies who love one another and their child fathered by the cat.

I never knew it was the cat.I’ve often wondered about that.Emily purred happily as she was hoping to have kittens soon with her boyfriend Emile who was in the garden.

Look it’s tea time.I hear Mary ‘s bike.Get up off the floor and get a hammer I can mend that chair.

Wow,you are so clever……we men are unneeded now! Stan informed her ironically.

Don’t be silly.I love you,the dearest.Thanks you so much…it’s good to hear those sweet words.  meant I want the dearest maxi skirt as a reward,she said saucily.

Women,Stan thought wryly. Can’t live with them;can’t live without them.Go and put on your nightdress Emily.Warm up the bed.I’m having an early night.

Quick,get up.Mary  is here.she’ll imagine the worst if she sees you on the floor.She’ll think you are ill!

No,I know what you do on that rug,you little minx! t was Mary who had crept in in her bare feet.Look at you,no shoes!How vulgar.You look like a fraction!

Better than looking like a decimal!

Now,said Stan,have a cup of tea and then we can have a sit down on the rug and study algebra and geometry.

What a nice man he is!Why is Annie so keen on decimals see my next instalment… when I pay it!

A sound poem

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Ersatz raps

This is meant to be read aloud… it’s a sound poem.I made up some words too..

Source: K

Oh,I see the wolf listening..he’s so gentle or is he decentral?
Oh,Ah,kerbumplof.
Shrieks,calling for mate
Bang my soul up
In your bedroom
Ker pluf
Thor.War
Storms of lightning
Hail you
AAAAAAhhhhhhhhh
Me,oh,me oh,me stuck here in my groove
Give me electric shocks;the silent treatment.Sulk for me, please,Argentina.
Screech,scream,I felt you watching.
Touch me with a feather
Dust me!
Glug!
I see the wasps round your coat
They hug you and nip your neck
Bong!
Don’t come near me again
wolves are not
Well come!
I sigh for mein mutter
she’s a nutter,
utter
Sob
Scream
nightmare
Thud!
You hate me!
Never call again when you’re already here
You are not welcome.
I close my door
on your foot boot
Oh,yes.
Thunder and lightening
Go home now
This is a poem as likely
ill conceived
Eagle flies while I am
Falling down a mountain…
Scree burning.
I never want to see you again,babe.My duck.
Please be a love and leave me.Cheers
That’s ok.I understand you.
Asp,gasp
Per bot fly!
No thud
No dach
sunds whimper.
It’s time for my tea and biscuit
I cooked it twice
but you were
ab ab a aaab aa absent aahaa
sent!
No.No.no
I can’t believe you!
Cut this string and let it all hang out again
Oh,bloggers.Go to bed
Now
How
Mein eschreitschzung.Flightschzung.Nachtschzung
blung.blung
blot me out
I’m an ink stain.
I like your fingers, so clean and curving
I’ll mark you and give you homework
Och,aye
It’s well come
Crooning mouse traps
See Rockefeller
drop out and
Bring a bag of sylvia plath’s
scrap paper.
did she know?
Did she know?
Did she sweat
Bang?
Thud.My sky fell in onto the millpond
Don’t smoke near me
I’ll get burned
For I hate you
Or just want your hat and an E for
flatness
Droom,droom
Dee
Bag
bug
Ted went to bed
where he spent his honeymoon
with another woman
Not with the second one
Mathilda
It’s finished us all off
Brang.Blong
Eschreitchzung
Fleightschztung
Herr Meightschrung

Belated

  • Photo0688

    Belated thanks, long overdue,
    Are flying from me straight to you.
    So take heart and stand
    but not on my hand.
    Nor on Alfred who if startled goes “Mioaw”

    You see Alfred is a very hot cat
    He hates to sit down on my mat.
    He likes my warm lap
    And wears a small cap
    To show he’s real holy,howzat?

  • Merriam Webster word of the day:Belated

    Did You Know?

    Long ago, there was a verb belate, which meant “to make late.” From the beginning, belate tended to mostly turn up in the form of its past participle belated. Eventually, belate itself fell out of use, leaving behind belated as an adjective that preserved the original notion of delay. As you may have guessed, belate and its descendant belated derive from the adjective late; belate was formed by simply combining the prefix be- (“to cause to be”) with late. Belated was also once used in the sense “overtaken by night,” as in “belated travelers seeking lodging for the night.” This sense was in fact the first meaning of the adjective but it too fell out of use.

Mary gets yet another letter from the hospital

jug and bottles 4

The postman was very late coming that morning.Stan was asleep in his armchair whilst Annie was analysing some data on the political alignments of the over fifties group in Knittingham.Mary was upstairs daydreaming.

Hi. Mary…Annie called.There’s a letter for you from the hospital.
Mary came down, her face a little pale with anxiety.She opened it slowly.Inside it had the following announcement

Your appointment on 5th October at 3 am with Dr Paramour has been cancelled..
We can offer you he following appointment:
5th October 2014 at 3 am in the usual clinic
This will be with Dr Paramour unless he goes on holiday again.He will remove your tumour and your humor as well.

PasqueFlower2
Stan read the letter.
Why have they sent this? he asked bemusedly as he blinked with his nice blue eyes.
Mary phoned the hospital.She spoke to a charming young man.
What does it mean? she enquired.Why give such a silly letter out.
It means nothing,the man said,It’s the computer.
Computers follow programmes.We’ve had this type of stupid letter many times in the last 6 months….it’s using paper and postage apart from the worry.Why can’t someone alter the programme?
I don’t know,the pleasant man replied.I think nobody understands it.
Don’t they realise that keeping patients calm and trusting is part of the healing process?
No,they don’t he answered despondently.We have to answer the phone all day long.So we can hear how upset some people are.
Stan called out,it’s in the government too.They wasted millions on a new system which was scrapped before it was ever used…
Where are all the intelligent people?
That’s what I have been wondering,thought Emile as he hid behind Annie’s new green handbag hoping a field mouse might come by
I am sure if I planned the the computer programmes I could fix this,said Mary.But I will never be given a job now.I don’t think I’d want it now with my eyesight.
Well,Mary,you are still very beautiful,said Stan.I think I want to go to bed with you.
Stan, how can you say it in front of Annie?
Well,she can come as well if she likes,he replied tactfully.
And what about Emile?
Oh, alright then.We’ll all go to bed even he … we need a life changing experience.And I do not mean another daft letter from that blooming hospital,The Royal Wee.
We could paper the walls with them.
I would not enjoy seeing the walls like that,said Annie.
I am just making a point… that they waste so much money…. and time answering the phone to correct their errors………. it’s like Alice in Sunderland.
I never knew she was a Geordy, mioawed Emile…
I just like to think of her that way,answered Stan.
Anyway,upstairs and off with your clothes… we must make love before we die even if it kills us or we have to go to A and E with angina,migraine,a broken rib or other unmentionable discomforts.
And being obedient they all want upstairs,got undressed and fell asleep side by side in Stan’s large soft bed… except for Emile.
I thought they were going to have a love in,he thought.Perhaps when they waken up,who knows?
Maybe the NHS are trying to make people mad so they will pay for private treatment….
Mary was dreaming she was back at Oxford teaching analysis to a group of frightened first year students…what a pity they are so nervous,she thought.They’s do better working in a garden centre or a zoo…

Color, which we dream upon

by KateM @ 2015-03-30 – 18:42:49

kathryn-in-coclourcoloured tree and sshadow 24785799_f2605036964_f2606429586_72f5d1321d_m
Shape and form are here become
Colour which we dream upon.
The eye may feast and turn and graze
In the colours of this maze.
May your life be coloured joy.
And so I pass to you this toy.

Sad news for literature and languages studies

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/10/31/education/as-interest-fades-in-the-humanities-colleges-worry.html?nl=todaysheadlines&emc=edit_th_20131031&_r=0

In the USA and in the UK  we find fewer people are studying the humanities.Here it is because of the economic climate.. people wish to study “useful” subjects.Literature won’t get you a job,perhaps.It only enables you to live better.Already in schools the study of Greek and Latin has almost gone.

Economics still gets students………. odd considering that economists did not forecast the recession but were up to their necks in mathematical models.Economicis not a science and cannot be.I believe it’s a branch of philosophy in a broad sense.

I admit I did not study what we called “The Arts” at University but most of my friends did.But I read poetry.I liked Auden greatly.I read all the great novels.I read Doris Lessing and Iris Murdoch.I read Evelyn Waugh/I even readNabokov…. what a writer!And I read Shakespeare Plays.

But with the much higher fees,recession and other worries,fewer students will spend three years studying the humanities.Plumbing or Carpentry are better options

I am thinking of writing some new plays.

A  Fit Plumber’s Nightly Schemes

Witches astir.

Ham to let.

Sing Fear.

Make up for the Mind

A Midsummer Balls Up.

The Emptiest.

Please defreeze me,let me grow.

A man without limits

Much Ado about Hacking.

As you Recycle it.

Julius Seized the Emails.

Fool Us and Squeeze Us.

Twelfth Fright.

Hacked to Death.

The Blaming of the Guru,

Prospero Not.

http://www.debate.org/opinions/are-the-arts-too-elitist

http://theamericanscholar.org/the-decline-of-the-english-department/?key=55705194

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The little bird

6378673_f260

A bird taps on this window every day,
Fast as flying leaves flail  in a gale.
But now he perches on the potted bay.
He feels the weather as the blind do braille.

This bird is faithful and I love him dear.
He’s fearless as he pecks upon the glass.
I hope he has a modicum of fear,
For who knows when a sparrow hawk will pass?

I see him like a human soul forlorn
Struggling to discern his own true way.
For soon he may be taken by a storm
But blithely he will eat, and after play.

The smallest bird has trust in the Unknown
By his example, our right way is shown

Would you read one of the books called “Something for dummies”?

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I found when I first bought a computer that one of the books like Windows Vista for Dummies was really helpful.Someof their books are quite hard like one about repairing your own computer.I don’t like the title but assume in the USA it has a slightly different meaning and since they cover many topics they are a useful resource.I have quite a few of them.They are very thorough and well laid out.
A better title,perhaps,was thought up by another American.The have series called
XXXXX The Missing manual…

and they cover everything.They aim to cover a gap which they think is not covered by the user manuals…You need time to study their books.
I doubt if I’d read Religion for Dummies but I am happy with Knitting for Dummies.
Very few people explain a topic to the absolute beginner.Because they lack the imagination to understand what it can be like….I learned to do this when teaching and unfortunately it sometimes happens nown that I tell people something in that manner which irritates them.. so now I try to keep quiet.

Sometimes we should be less worried about what people will think if they see us readinf

Wittgenstein for Dummies

Though it stings

No words of mine can potently display
the anguish and the joy that touch our lives;
yet all our ghostly forebears went this way
where words may pierce our hearts like sharpened knives.

No  sentient being willingly at first
Accepts the pain that true perception brings.
Yet we must not take our hearts to be a curse;
we need not flee from knowledge,though it stings.

Each day demands our thoughtfulness and love
from which all better action gently stems
each day the grace we have is just enough
as through the meta narratives we thumb.

For life’s but a true story we invent,
with passion and with purified intent

In the bread basket with Moses

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Moses was an Eruption, I hear.So he had to be kept warm in a bread basket.
Then Foureyes daughter let him gloat down on the River Nile…till a bull rushed him.
That turned him into a shrew and he found God.. or God found him.
But God would not let him find Galilee by himself so he found Emilee ,Loelee and Phoebilee instead.
He had many children such as Matthew,Hark,Look and Gone.They were all men and had more children with no wives.They didn’t have any women so who did Cain and Abel marry?Eve?
Is this what Freud never realized… men used to marry their mothers and later their daughters who were also their sisters,Crikey,what a blunder
Blimey what is this Hebrew Bible?Libel?
As we were taught in school, Daniel lived with a lion and a lamb.I’m unsure if they had children…. it might explain a lot if they did.
And finally Solomon was very wise.It was easier then when there was no judge or jury to stop him cutting a baby in two… well, he was just pretending,I think.
I say,the Shrews were very shrewd indeed and also very clever.Like, who told Adam and Eve what to do before Masters and Johnson wrote that book.. Human Textual despondency?
In any case Adam could not read.In fact they didn’t write either.And to think children here can write so young.Adam and Eve were a bit lacking but they have lots of family
Everybody on Earth… pity they are dead and can’t see us though God knows they’d be shocked if they saw our behaviour to our family.
I blame the apples,myself… what do you think?

Stan went down town to buy needles and other unlikely reminiscenses

cat looking

On Monday morning Stan had to go to the shops in the centre of town to buy some special easy threading needles for his visually-otherwise wife Mary.Somehow,most puzzlingly,she had lost all of the eight packs he had bought for her in the last year.He had suggested letting his mistress next door do the hemming and stitching.But Mary was determined even though sometimes she took 14 minutes just to thread a needle.But she was very patient.One might almost say she was saintly but he did not want her to get conceited so he kept his thoughts to himself.
Now what shall I wear.? Stan thought over-anxiously.
He had O.C.D now and then… depending on what was happening in his lifw
People no longer dress up to go down town instead they dress down to go up to the town,in a very real sense.
The art of living is to choose the most simple solution to any problem and Stan recalled he only had some navy trousers,some white and a few colored shirts and one light teal colored jacket.
He chose a coral colored shirt and looked in the mirror..
I look wonderful, he thought very humbly.
Why has God kept me so youthful?
Surely not so I can seduce more women?
We know God may be merciful to scissors,or is it sinners?
Well,let’s just say God can be merciful but for some reason,we never know till it’s too late whether it’s to us.
More haste,less speed,he conjectured.
Or is it, More waste,less feeds?
He stood in the hall combing his hair with a tortoiseshell comb and brushing it with a large nail brush
He looked again narcissistically at his image.[I sure can spell.]
His amber eyes glowed like neon lights on the main road to Knittingham in winter.
His dark hair looked very full for his age.
His teal jacket had been well pressed by the dry cleaner,
Jason Weizzmen-know-all
And his coral shirt was new as Mary had been out buying him more clothes lately.She had grown tired of seeing him in one solid color,especially grey or brown.
His navy trousers were a bit old but quite alright for Knittingham.

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As he gazed into the mirror he began to feel odd.Then he saw Emile
who was standing on the chest of drawers behind him performing a dance.. solo!
Why are you dancing,Emile? Stan asked politely.
I am amused by seeing you gazing into the mirror for so long,
If you don’t hurry it will be lunchtime before you get to the Needle Shop.
Alright,growled Stan hoarsely.
At least I don’t wear make up!
Now there’s a thought…maybe I’d look better…what shade of foundation would suit me?Would I need lip balm and perfume?
Hurry up,said Emile unkindly.
More taste less greed.
What does that mean?asked Stan.
If you taste the food and eat slowly you will enjoy it more and thus need less.
Very clever,Emile.Shall I buy you some cough sweets in the pet shop.
No,I want some codeine linctus,Emile answered.
I want to go high,high.
I want to reach the sky…hi.
what will I do when my love is away
Will I be happy on my own?
Lend me your ear and I’ll sing you a song
I’ll try not to sing out of tune!

My God,Emile.Whatever has happened to you?
I blame the old chalk and opium medicine someone spilled on my breakfast.
Well,go and lie down but drink some milk first.

At last Stan got out…it had taken him two hours to get ready.
I wonder if I’ve got body dysmorphic syndrome,he conjectured emotionally
At the bus stop there stood Annie their neighbour.
Hi,Stan,where are you going.
I’m buying sewing needles for Mary.
I can lend her some,she shrieked.
Well,she has to use special ones nowadays.
Oh,so she does.I forget as she looks normal but is in fact suffering constant trouble since her Vitreous-vasectomy.. or was it hysterectomy or vivacity?.
Well,never mind.You know she’s not normal.
Who is normal?
Let’s just assume we will recognise it when we see it,he whispered warningly.
This bus is very late.I wish there was a proper seat here..my knees hurt.
I hate this plastic seat.Why has the wooden one gone?
Apparently the council are afraid of homeless people sleeping on them.
Well,everybody is at risk of homelessness with this economic crisis,They should let them sleep here.They are so cruel.
Anne shouted in a fury.
No,beggars can’t be losers,he responded.
Very true,she replied,
As they have nothing so they can’t lose it.The more you have,the more you fear losing it.
This bus is very,very late,I wish I had a horse or is it an horse?
A goat would be ok.

Speed bonny goat like a word someone flung..
Over the page to Fly.

Anne burst out laughing so her face was as red as her coat from Artigiano.Her blue tights were a perfect contrast and also matched her lipstick.
At last the bus came.They got on board and the driver called out,
You both look very merry!
Too many looks create more wrath,Stan replied warninigly.
Well, why dress up if you want no attention.the driver gloated.
Hello,darling, he said to Anne,Are you free tonight,babe?
Why? she murmured,I have two tickets for the Rolling Stones and no woman to take! he replied boastfully.
Now,if it were the Rolling Bones,I might be interested.
Your wish is my command he muttered,
I have my smart phone here,I’ll see what’s on elsewhere.
He kept trying but the virtual keyboard was playing up again.
Eventually the passengers got annoyed and asked him to start the bus.
As I’m half an hour late,I should be coming back now so I’ll do a U turn and go back to the terminus.
But we want to go into town,every one howled.
There’s many a blue word spoken as a jest,sang the driver.
Stan said,Please open the door,we shall dismount here.
Crikey,you don’t half talk posh,said the ,driver.
He leaned over and gave Anne a French kiss.
Now look here,Stan said,leave her alone.She’s my mistress.
Cor blimey said the driver,who are you,King Henry the Eighth?
I say,Stan,I can see Mary.It must be tea time.
Stan ran into the house and put the kettle on..then he made a pot of tea.
Hello! said Mary.
Did you get my needles,Stan?
I’m so sorry,Mary.I’ve had such a busy day,I never got into the town.
And where is my supper.
I’m afraid it’s still in the womb of time!
I see,it’s chick pea dahl and brown rice again or egg on toast.
But I’m not complaining.Keeping house is a big job.I know it only to well.
So they sat with Anne and Emile,who even had his own cup and saucer now.They were soon drifting into a light doze.Going down town is such hard work nowadays.

Beard envy…

1jug and bottles 4

Cataclysm 2r

Freud made an error  for women have an unconscious envy of men’s beards,It’s not enough for men to have long hair.They also can have long beards and moustaches too.In many cases they have better hair than women do.But they don’t need it,do they?They don;t tint it,condition it etc.Now if we had all that hair we’d be warmer and it would hide the dirty marks on our woollen jumpers
Admittedly it would need washing daily but it would be a good excuse for not going out
I have to wash my beard tonight.I am waxing my moustache too.
Why should we envy a penis when we have a womb?
But what have we got instead of a beard…NOTHING.
That is clearly unjust and God is nor unjust so where is the answer?

Stan fell in love with his cat

Sleepy afternoon

Stan fell asleep in front of the roaring fire.Emile lay across his lap.Emile was so limp he looked like a wet towel casually over the old man’s knees.It was Stan’s birthday but no party had been arranged.He was struck that Mary had not baked a cake..nor even bought one at the Co-op.
That was no surprise really as he did all the cooking including Bakewell tarts and Xmas cake,He was a versatile man who could also mend old radios and fix clocks that were stuck one time….usually th wrong one!
He also spent quite a lot of time giving statistics lessons to pensioners and making love with his blonde and busty mistress,Anne who lived next door.
He decided that being so near her was a big advantage given his age.
Suddenly he was awakened by chuckles and giggles,There were Mary and Annette holding a big iced cake and a pot of tea.The doorbell rang and in came all Stan’s friends from his Art class.Mary produced sandwiches and pork pies,sausage rolls and potato cakes.
How did you do this ?,he enquired dazedly.
We did it all in Annette’s oven.She has two so it was quite easy.
Mary was not jealous of Annette for Mary would rather read Principia Mathematica than go to bed with Stan.Apparently she was mildly autistic but she was happy doing maths as many of her co-workers had the same syndrome.
She did have one daughter whom she found hidden in a gooseberry bush in the garden.This was enough for Stan as he was 92.But luckily he did have a good
gold plated pension of £390 per month.
Everyone was having a fabulous time until Anne tried to light the candles on the cake.No matches could be found.
Ring 999,Stan called childishly.Mary obeyed and soon the ambulance drew up.In ran Dave the paramedic.
Is it your chair? he enquired wildly.
No,it’s this cake.We can’t light the candles on it.Shall we douse it in petrol?We have a jerry can full of it in the spare room.
That is very dangerous,he shouted.
Well,we are old now and need the car badly.Risk assessment gave us evens on the odds.

Dave produced a silver lighter and lit the candles.Then he conducted them all as they sang,”Happy Birthday” to Stan.Stan managed to blow out 90 candles before passing out on the rug.
Well,at least he didn’t break the chair,Mary said philosophically.
I wish he had,said Dave.I’ve got some superglue here.
Well,we do have a wardrobe that’s falling apart.would you like to mend it?
Sure,he replied gratefully.This is why we have the NHS!
We are here for you 24/7
Or come to A and E if you get a mouth ulcer or a cold sore.No problem is too small!

Stan came too on the rug with Emile beside him.He gazed deeply into the cat’s green eyes.
I think I’ve fallen in love with you,he informed the cat.
Will you sleep with me and let Mary have your basket.
Are we engaged,said Emile.
Definitely,said Stan.I’ll get you a golden collar with diamonds on it.
When shall we be married?
As soon as it’s legal,Stan answered honestly.
In the meantime,we’ll have to live in sin.
Then he fell asleep again with Emile in his arms.
What a lovely picture, cried the ladies.
Look at this.What a happy sight.
What love,what devotion.
How strange,what a commotion.
They’re in love,what emotion.
Don’t tell the Pope,we need caution

 

Emile’s picnic

Source: Kathryn

Emile has a picnic

Stan was washing the big new car while his dainty wife Mary packed a picnic basket.He was already feeling very hot, even bothered.Emile, his cat and friend, was sitting on the wall overseeing the car wash.

Would you like to come,Emile?Stan murmured.

Yes,I’d love too but what can I eat? Emile murmures

How about a tin of sardines?Stan asked tenderly.

Do they have those little keys on the side?I find them hard to open.

So it was you,Emile!I thought Mary must have sleep walked and tried to open a tin.If you get good at all these tasks nothing will be safe.

I tried to open that tin of gooseberries.Emile confessed sheepishly

You must be a fool,Emile!Why gooseberries?Stan said  with bull like tact

They looked so nice but they were full of pips.Tinned gooseberries are not so tasty except made into a jelly

.Can we take some jelly on the picnic?Emile continued

Well,it would be lovely but it might melt! Stan informed him knowingly

OK I’ll settle for a tin of sardines,the cat mewed politely.I’ll have a gooseberry yoghurt instead

.Since when did cats have puddings,Emile? Stan enquired

I always envied you,so I thought I’d ask.Emile said sensibly

Why,you are almost human,Emile.Next you’ll want a suit and some brogues. Stan teased him

I’d prefer sandals,responded the striped cat sensibly

Why is that,my dear,Stan asked lovingly.

So I can still scratch people or milk them when on their laps.Emile admitted

You naughty cat!You”ll have to give up scratching if you want to become more moral.

Yet..What is a cat without its claws?

What is a wasp without its sting?

What is a woman without her temper?

What is a man without……………..

Have you finished,Stan? called Mary,thus preventing the author from revealing what Stan thought was masculine just in the nick of time

Yes,my dear.I just need a rug for Emile to sit on …or how about this old tablecloth? Stan shouted.

That’s my new apron,Mary confessed.

!New..it looks as if you’ve cleaned Buckingham Palace including the chimneys! Stan said sarcastically

That just shows you how hard women work and to think I could have been working on my new book”Wittgenstein’s Hats!” Mary moaned

I didn’t know about that, Stan said in a puzzled voice

.Well,I’ve done four on his cats……… so..I moved on to hats

Did he wear a hat? Stan asked her curiously

That is the problem.Although Jewish he was raised as a Catholic in Vienna.And Catholic men take off their hats in church.Mary said with an air of certainty rare in women

Well,that is  just politeness.Stan remined her

Yes,but Jewish men must wear a hat all the time.It’s part of their code.It shows respect for God.Mary had to tell him

Do they wear a hat in bed? Stan asked her cheekily

I believe not as it could drop off and frighten somebody.Mary remarked with wisdom

Well,tell me more about the book.Stan said kindly

It’s obvious to me that the source of much of Wittgenstein’s severe anxiety and guilt was his conflict whether/when to wear a hat said Mary proudly as she was the first academic to  spot this

.Did he solve it? Stan asked her.

I have evidence to show he wore a night cap!I have many photographs, his wife admitted

Where did you get those from?Stan quizzed her politely

Well……….I have friends who are into photography……..And without photos the book would not sell,she told him nervously

How about cartoons,mewed Emile.Alas,no-one was listening.Wait for the book!

The end.

 

A few oddities

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Do you often change your sheets in the middle of a sentence?

Does the knight jar you/

Why is sympathy so rare?

Let them eat  les croissants de ma fante

She’s as easy  to hug as  it would be kissing a bee on my crowned head

Why are we deflating?
Life’s not easy when I  see ghosts smoking without ashtrays
I feel uneasy as  your pie made me queasy.
Poisoned by gum.Cured by order
Beat lead. Buy a  fountain pen today.Qouink!
He seems like a broomstick at a wedding for witches
Shall we beat  the cat?She can’t run for long so I imagine so
It’s  a  treat  to  see your  feet in your mouth
Why not eat your own dog’s food and leave mine for me.It’s all I have since the cat  ?died.
Eight hundred men caught one gorilla which took a bus into town..Now he’s been given a free Mass in the cathedral.Sorry  a Free Bus Pass ex cathedra
Why have you no elephant in your room? Are you indeed?
Are you on  an imaginative roller coaster? Join our club for the highly imaginative person
Now you must empathize with the wrong willed yet able to get the country off my knees.I am worn down by the dichotomies or deuteronomies

Like my cats? They are watching you anyway!

YOU IS SO MUCH FUN,ME IS NOT SO DONE
I say, an empty flattery battery.How discharming
The cat ate my enchillado so I shall eat its mice on rice fried dinner…..take that!Sweet revenge
I said re your novel, Send over the end,not,Go round the bend!How can you work that way.. it’s real neat,you play.By the way,who aren’t you?
These friendless words are neglected so I shall eat them.Or shall I swallow the whole dictionary? Should i shred it first..I’ll be absolutely fed up with  my studies soom
The agenda   fructifies  my daydreams into real works of art.. or cunning at worst.
Even a wild tomato finds a beefburger and fries good once in a while.And we are not so wild,are we?

Poem written using an automated love poem service

Images made  by me using Microsoft Paint program old version
cats and newspapersYour skin glows like an old lemon which someone left in the fridge for two years or more.
It blossoms as rudely as the nastiest weeds in springtime.
My yearning heart rises to your thunderous voice and leaps like a pig at the whisper of your name,Hardknut.
The evening ascends like a lion riding  on a great Kentucky Fried Chicken Wing.
I am calmed by your old vests that I carry to clean  the car headlights with in fog
And I hold them  in my hand when I have run out of Kleenex tissues.
I am filled with dismay that I may need to dry your tears of shame with old worn out knickers

Yet you ignore mine as ever.You appear to forget I am a woman.

As my right eye falls  down onro my blue shawl,alas it reminds me of our unmade blue bed once more.
I shall not forget it for my self esteem is low and falling
and it’s a year since I changed the sheets.
In the hushed yet noisy night,I listen for the last tweets of the autumn and look forward to an icy winter of miscontent
sleeping with the cats on the internet highway
My overheated heart leaps into my  hot  green mouth.
My lipstick is fading away with shock.
I wait in the faint moonlight for your secret bank check
So that we may strive as one mad being
in search of a  golden ring
Symbolic of ambivalent married love that has passed its sell by date
But still has some intrigue remaining.
I never met anyone as dreadful,sweet and ugly as you.
I love you,Nameless.You are mine forever

Or so I believed foolishly..but I prefer a cat now.

cat2 alone

Some recently found Bible pages

Source: Kathryn

And it came to pass

And it came to pass that they ate their dinner
and that she did washeth up.
And she did leave the dishes to drain
Whilst she put on the washing machine.
and the man was very pleased.
And it further came to pass
that she gave the man some delicious apple pudding
and he was more pleased.
And then it came to pass the he f ell asleep
By the fire.
And the Lord God,said
who is this man that sleepeth by his fire?
And he said,I shall waken him up
And the man awoke,
And God spake unto him
How is it that the woman laboureth in ye kitchen.
And that thou sleepeth here in an armchair.
and the man said,
but Thou didst order women to labour.
And the Lord God said unto the man
Why dost Thou remember so selectively what I have said?
And the man said,
I knoweth not and therefore I will help this woman.
And the Lord God said,
Why do’st thou not think of it thyself ?
And the man said in reply,
It was Thou that made me,O God.
And the Lord God was displeased with the man.
so he called down a plague of blue butterflies
To prevent him from sleeping.
And when the woman came in
she was much pleased to see these butterf lies
and so she fell onto the man

And she gave herself unto him
And the cat was very pleased.
For it thrilled him to watch humans mating
and gave him hope
That the Lord God would take his rib and make a mate for him.
And indeed it doth seem to have happened
Judging by all the cats staring in ye old window here
And by their ecstatic yelps
That the Lord God was very generous with them
and made them many mates.
For truly there is no jealousy among them
And they mate freely and happily
and never have rows about the washing up..

as they eat straight from the can.Amen.

Thanks for all the food we eat.

Please leave our Earth neat and sweet

 

How I became an amateur poet and artist on the Internet.Part3.

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I love color very much.I am profoundly affected by it

One of my  nieces was at University doing English. Literature Thinking of my past life,I  suggested she do Creative Writing if it were possible.It was.She wrote short stories for her assessments.During bad winter weather she was unable to access her computer at  the University. and read her notes.When she did she got  writer’s block.I sent her some  ideas from my notebook and she manages to complete her assignment and got  a First.One of my notes was about seeing a woman whose husband left her.She was recovering and was out in the snow with a big dog on  a  lead pulling her forward!

…And one day I thought,maybe I can  writ too.So I started to try to write more frequently.As I have some health problems and disabilities I find it very satisfying to do creative work.And I am happy to get criticism because it helps me.Some of my early poems were good.Some were not.Here is a strange one I wrote in 2010

But first,thank you,Helen ,my niece,for  helping me to begin writing.And  thank you to the folk on my first blog who encouraged me so much. Thank you to my brother and sister and others for reading me  on Facebook,I take all the blame for the flaws in my writing! I k eep editing but it’s hard to know when to stop.

DIRAC’S CATS :NONSENSE VERSES

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I dreamed I rowed in a large pea green boat
Accompanied by seventeen cats.
And across the Great Lake,without a mistake
I saw mountains of gentleman’s hats.
I was making no waves in my effort to move,
The cats were discoursing on geometry.
I looked in the mirror fixed onto my boat,
The moon spoke  entrancing Theology.
“I wonder who’ll help me”I thought to myself,
When I saw an entire spectrum of men–
Dirac, Archimedes,Niels Bohr, with their theories.
I got my great inspiration just then.
I need seventeen physicists,that’s one for each cat,
All tied to my boat with a chain.
The force they exert will just compensate
For the magnetic attraction of rain.
Paul Dirac came up, and I looked into his eyes,
They were full of anxiety and pain.
“I am sorry I am unable do what you wish,
But my father never taught me to swim.”
“That is perfectly alright”,I politely replied,
“You can walk on the water instead”
So that’s how my boat and its cargo of cats
Were accompanied back to my bed.
When I awoke the next day,I was filled with dismay.
I saw that Paul Dirac was gone,
With the cats and the boat,of which I just wrote
And I was now completely alone.
I took a quick look,in my old physics book
And there was a photo of Dirac
I stared at his eyes,and I am not telling lies,
He threw me a very strange look.
I caught this strange look,it’s here in my book.
I am saving it for a special event.
When I gather more Data on Relative Quanta,
I’ll understand just what Dirac meant.

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The digital art came later.And even later my stories about Emile the cat and Stan his owner.You can see a few on my blog

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