Tag: advice

Titles of online articles I have seen today [I have not read the articles]

Why your vagina shrinks at  menopause and what you can do  about it [Don’t ask ]

How to handle things.[what sort o?}

Why  or how your finger length  reveals your gender [Surely easier just to look at the bosom/ chest?}

Which microwave to buy [Making  unstated assumptions;some of us either have none or may have stolen one]

Why you need both metal and silicon whisks [I thought it was breasts just for a moment; now there’s an idea]

Why you need to keep  lots of frozen pasta in your kitchen [Try turning off the radiator first and checking the ovens]

Which  six cookery books are the best? [Look up restaurants on your smartphone  instead] I wonder how many this person has checked.I find ones written for catering colleges are better and cheaper.

Why you should never take  a bath [I find a handbag is quite sufficient].

How to  entertain at home. [Fall out of bed?]

How to keep your husband happy [Freeze him?]

Why you should never forget your wedding anniversary [Am I married?]

How to have the best number of children[ Yes, it’s all under our total control]

How to keep your teeth  super clean [Stop eating and die?]

Are you bored of sex? [No,I’m bored of London]

How to cure loneliness. [Buy a microwave and some cookery books]

How to get your bounce back [Buy a dunlopillo mattress?]

Should you take vitamins? [Where to?]

Sonnets for all

  1. A sonnet is a poetic form which originated in Italy; Giacomo Da Lentini is credited with its invention. The term sonnet is derived from the Italian word sonetto (from Old Provençal sonet a little poem, from son song, from Latin sonus a sound).Wikipedia

You must read

When you are writing you will be using whatever you have stocked your mind with.So reading poetry and fiction and other writing is crucial.and of course your life and what has happened to you or your society will be present in your writing..I find keeping a l journal of things which make an emotional impact on me is helpful.Read what you like but not rubbish.Please.

Starting with the sonnet form

The first line of Gray’s Elegy has the right meter.for a sonnet.

“The curfew tolls the knell of parting day.”

So you must write a line to that music:

The clouds rise up and race across the sky

for example; then you need a second line.I find these two lines must be interesting.emotional ,deep or symbolic .After that the structure determines to some extent how you can develop your poem…Fourteen lines according to the pattern below.

ABAB CDCD EFEF GG

Sonnets are usually serious but it is possible to write a humorous one.Historically it was the metaphysical poets who wrote this way about love and death…John Donne is one of them..He wrote the famous poem

No man is an island

/Brightness
Brightness

Eve's temptation

Sonnet on writing a poem

Poetry is the art of shaping words

The structure contributes to make the whole.

And writing sonnets is not just for us nerds.

Creating structures helps to create our souls.

Yet many folk are frightened by the risk

Of imperfection,criticism and pain.

But for myself, I love this frightening task.

so gaily I sit down to write again.

Though what I write may not be alpha plus.

The chance to share my feelings lures me on.

And when I travel on a London bus

I write a note before my thoughts are gone

We each can be creative in  some way

And find  our happiness. from being gay

It was not sin that brought death and its sighs,

The summertime evaporates like mist

Revealing  golden leaves albeit but few.

No longer by bright flowers are our eyes kissed.

No longer do leaf buds appear anew.

Some changes in our lives are like this too.

We do not see  the moment as life turns

We think we still ascend with growth anew

And wisdom ,sense and vision are all spurned.

It is not for our sins that we must die.

For life and death are  two sides of a whole.

It was not  sin that brought death and its sighs,

This is a myth to keep priests in control.

Changes are invisible at first.

Let’s not act as if we are accursed.

How to attempt to keep house without panicking

10403606_483675265105690_2060981220485141876_n 10712907_483677188438831_449934974875129366_nI don’t think  that women have genes for cleaning but it’s obvious to children that women tend to do housework more than men so girls get roped in or just watch more.

1.Get a plastic bucket or a tray or some other such thing and walk around each room collecting things which do no live there… assuming nobody else will do it.Then try to put them where they should be like  a bowl of hot water.Or a cupboard.Failing that keep them into a plastic laundry basket  or similar

2.Wash up.Now and then wash the sink with a suitable cleaner and the other appurtenances.Wash cloths  or use disposable ones.

3 Go into each bedroom, unless it’s an able bodied adult’s and sort through clothes etc… hang up or put in laundry basket.Train older children to do this.

3 Put clothes into Washing Machine.Examine labels for temperature.If you are  ucky you may have a machine with a Handwash programme.Use the right detergent… look it up!

4 Now and then it is wise to change your sheets etc as well as towels and other such items.These usually need a hotter wash to kill germs.Hang them outside if possible.You can buy large folding  clothes airers if you have no washing line.

5.Wash  or wipe the table[s].Polish if you like to…Wash the kitchen surfaces as often as you can manage especially if you cut  bread or bake.

6 Vacuum or sweep the floors.But dust first if you dust.Or wipe shelves with a damp cloth.

7.Wash  floors with a mop when appropriate…often if there are many people around.

5 Ironing kills germs.If you can afford it pay somebody else to do it if you are older or fragile.

6 Put away clean clothes,sheets etc. as soon as you can.. in my case it’s usually weeks!

7. Every hour or so make a cup of tea and sit down.Remember  some women do  all this  cleaning and tidying up for years and men often never notice until their wife is ill.Think.. it’s all possible if you think.

8 All that remains is to decide what to eat and to cook it and then wash up.This needs planning ahead  and shopping but keep a few emergency rations like  eggs,baked beans,cold meat etc.Remember fuit and veg…. even if you are alone.Maybe take a multivitamin and fish oil… good for heart and brain.

11046476_534487113357838_7055969374284785044_n

See it’s easy really…!

And it keeps you slim [ for a while]

Real life?

I once had a boyfriend from Diss
Who was too  backward to give me a kiss.
He gazed with round eyes,
When I told him lies
Which rather depleted my bliss.

I never tell lies to my lovers
Or are they just  birds undercover?
I never succumb
Which makes all feel glum,…
But love is not worth all the bother.

I prefer conversation to sex
And I far  prefer money to cheques.
We all have our view
On what we should do.
I even prefer real life to texts

What to do with over-large clothes:glue them on

I find I have got a little smaller.But I don’t want to buy new clothes.I have come up with some ideas for trousers that are too big

1.Give away

2/Save them till winter when you can wear them over some leggings or wool tights.Of course that may  make us look fatter!

3 Wear them in freezing weather over another pair of trousers and start a new trend.We had a two shirt fashion once so why not two pairs of  trousers?But don’t do  this unless they are soft as it will hurt you

4. Look on you tube to see ways of taking in the waist.

5 Have them altered but if that is very expensive it  may not be worth it.

6.Gain weight!

7 Give them away. Ths is maybe better than saving them in case you get larger.

8 If they have belt loops you can cinch them in

9. Wear them at home only ,in case they fall off.

10.Glue them on

The creaks of loving:Stan gets a surprise

 Cracks in the pavement 3

A surprise

Stan and Annie have been having such a lovely time since Mary went off.Stan has quite given up his addiction to microfibre cloths and polishing the windows.He and Annie can now make love at night and go out for trips in the day time.
Emile’s diary is getting quite full although he is worried he may bebanned from sleeping on the foot of the bed soon as he may be in their way.How will he know what they get up to?
Luckily there is a gap at the bottom of the door so he should be able to see them in the mirror opposite the bed.They usually light the bedside lamp so as to see into each other’s eyes.
~Annie is a very bold,confident woman.Despite being rather plumper than is medically advised she loves her body and lives happily in it now she has true love.
One morning Stan goes down to make some tea whilst
Annie comes to.
“Stan,come here quickly!”
“What’s wrong,my little lamb chop?”
“I feel sick!”
“Was it those old sausages we ate up last night?”
“No,it’s a different sort of sick!”
“You don’t mean………..?”
“Yes,Stan,I’m afraid a miracle has happened!”
“But you are 55 and I’m 90.Surely we can’t have a baby!”
“Well,the ways of God are strange.” she murmured.
“I don’t want to bring God into it.” he riposted.
“Are you not pleased we are still fertile?” she asked
him humorously.
“Well,in the abstract I might be but in the concrete it
could be awkward.” he said furtively
“What do you mean?”
“Well,Mary will be coming back in a couple of months,you
know”
“We don’t have to tell her you are the father.I could
pretend it was the new Vicar at St Andrew’s”
“But he’s gay!”
“Not many men are able to resist my charms and skills.”
“I can believe that,”Stan answered lubriciously.
“But will you have to seduce him soon before he notices
you are pregnant>”
“I wasn’t thinking of actually going to bed with
him,”said Annie with a smile.
“Oh,dear.I was looking forward to that,”Emile murmured
under his breath.
“That would have made my diary into a best seller.”
“Gay vicar seduces middle aged harlot who is now
expecting.”
It sounds a bit like the old Bible stories except they
had no vicars in those days.But miracles like older
women bearing children did happen so…who knows?
Stan and Annie got dressed and went into the kitchen.
They were both looking confused.
“You don’t want an abortion do you?” he enquired
tenderly.
“No way.” she replied softly.
“I love you so much,I could not wish for more than to
“In that case,I’ll tell Mary.She is a very wise woman in
many ways,though a bit lacking in the earthjer side of
life.She has not slept with me for thirty years or
more.”
“Perhaps she thought you were too old?” said Annie.
“No,she never enjoyed it.She just put up with it as she
wanted a baby.”
“Maybe you did not turn her on!”
“I did my best,but she preferred reading Proust and
“I wonder of she has Asperger’s syndrome?”
“Well,they do find social life trying but I suppose she
can’t blame you for loving another?”
“No,she’s very broadminded.I’ll suggest we all move in
together.I’ll divorce her but she can have the big
bedroom and we’ll have the guest room with the en
suite.”
“I think this will be fun.”
“Well,not all of it but it will be intriguing,”
“So no need to seduce the Vicar,then?”
“We’ll leave him out of it.He might fall in love with
you and then what would happen?”
“God only knows,”She answered humorously as she went
into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.
Read more about this next week or it may be too late!

Having to collect mail with underpaid postage; it is from a Charity.

bike by pub 4

On Monday I got a card through the door saying someone had underpaid postage so their letter was not delivered.I  managed to get down to the sorting office today.It was from Friends of the Earth.So I refused to pay £1.54 to take it.

I just rang FoE and they said it was a letter asking me to increase my monthly donation.I decided to cancel my donation as it’s the only way to stop this recurring.I  am weeding out a few of these donations as I will probably have less money in the future or even this month!

I shall continue ones like Medecin sans Frontiers

Do not give money to an appeal asking you to text a certain number because when I did this they phoned and demanded a monthly amount.The man was extremely skilful.This is really a serious problem for people especially older ones.

I have also got cunning schemes from supposed insurance companies on my mobile now…

What to wear: unillustrated

By a strange chance  or error I found myself on the Telegraph website fashion page.They were recommending some expensive sandals.I shall tell you how to make them yourself.

1.Take a  pair of old shoes with leather soles and separate the upper and the sole.

2.Glue a piece of string 3 inches long. to the centre back of the heel.

3,You need 2  rolls of elastoplast ,one an inch wide and one 3 inches wide

4.Put your foot on the sole and pull the string up the back of your heel.Fasten it to your leg by using a piece of the wide elastoplast.

5.Fasten the front part of the sole to your foot using narrow elastoplast.

You now have  a sandal almost identical to the one being offered as suitable for this summer for the woman who needs the latest fashion.

My advice is once you have made 2 of these and stuck them to your feet that you can leave them there until the elastoplast wears out.Do not take them off in bed or in the shower.That might mean you can’t wash your feet but it’s nearly autumn now so the rain might keep you clean.On the other hand it might loosen the elastoplast and you’d be left with two soles and no heart.Then what would you do?

And they call us liberated!

Some enchanted weaving

Here we go round the jumbly crush
The big ship wailed through the bally,bally woe.
He stuck in his bum.
Little knack born here.
Twittering heights.
Jane Heard.
Middlerun.
Great exasperations.
Oliver whizzed.
Hard Rhymes
Martin puzzled wits.
Do you want to eye ball?
Nuts in May,crackers by Xmas.
Far from the saddening crowds.
King Beer.
The clean dirt of Hardy.
A midsummer night’s theme
The themes of the quantitive.
Come now and love me one more time.
She fell out with his arms
Some enchanted weaving
Scarlet hip bones
God didn’t make those little green nipples
If I live to be a blunder
The green,green Mass of Rome
Hail spurious quaint hat trick
Evening prayers said after acid trips Vicar into air balloon

Stan and his deodorant

Stan was looking out of his bay window at the old rowan tree. in front of their semi detached house in a quiet  tree lined avenue in Knittingham.After some intense sunshine in August,its leaves had withered and he thought it might be dead.He had his microfibre cloth but was not even pretending to clean the window…. one of his duties in the home
He was thinking pensively because  his wife Mary had told him he ought to be wearing an antiperspirant when they had a row the night before.
“But I’m 105,” he cried.”Surely,I don’t need an antiperspirant  now?”
“Don’t exaggerate,”Mary replied,”You are only 75Do you  need Cognitive Age  Truth  Therapy as well”
“But do I smell nasty,” he asked her…ignoring the  faint hint he was exaggerating pathologically about his age.
“Well,it says in the Telegraph that all the Top People now wear deodorants.”
“Good grief, what made you read the Telegraph,that right wing apology for a newspaper?And I should say the  present government certainly need  strong deodorants.I have a good wash every day and a bath once in a blue moon…I am clean enough for my mistress!”Annie his mistress lived right next door to the surprise of all who thought they  knew them well.
“Well,I am taking you to Boot’s tomorrow to find one”
“How dare you order me about  like this.Even if I wanted to wear a deodorant I wouldn’tt tolerate being  spoken to like that.~I am a man and I smell the same as always ;why don’t you buy me a new sponge and some decent soap in Sainsburys instead of this lavender rubbish.”
Mary began to sob quietly
“What’s wrong,my little jacket potato.” he asked her gently in the language of  the North British.
“Well,maybe it’s my therapy…I have been recollecting memories of girls teasing me because we had only a tin bath in our house and no bathroom.It was cold going to the lavatory down the backyard as well,especially when I got dysmenorhea………….otherwise known as period pains, when I might be there half an hour.
So I guess I thought I might smell nasty.I am reliving the pain and anguish and as a defense I am projecting my fear onto you,That’s maybe why I was so rude to you.”
“Eeh,by gum,she’s swallowed the Dictionary of Psychoanalysis not to mention the Encarta  too”thought Emile their smiling tom cat.
“Well,you do smell.Like honey… you smell just the way I like a woman to smell…Natural”
“How would you describe it,my onion pie?”
“Like a cat on heat ,my honeybum” he answered tenderly yet manfully.
“But surely you have never had intercourse with a cat?” she queried nervously yet longingly.
“No,not sexual intercourse, but I have slept with many lady cats and I know  well their varying smells,their mews and their claws.”
“Just like me” whispered Emile,” and I like how women smell too.I like perfume..especially Poison and Chanel Nr5″
“So I shall  come to Boots with you and I shall buy you some perfume.Then we can have coffee and cake somewhere for a real treat.” Stan told Mary assertively.She kissed his fair white cheek.. now a little red from the sun,
“I like coffee and cake,”purred Emile,”And I want a deodorant and some cologne. and a few other things”
“I think I could put you in my It bag “,said Mary kindly….which would be a pleasant change for Emile.They often left him alone in the house though he could drop into Annie’s at any time…and watch her tidying her make up box out or having a bath with lots of foam.Emile adored her,
So soon they will be on their way into town in their best clothes.Will Emile sit on a chair or will he stand on Stan’s knee.Wait patiently…. he might break his saucer.
The future is fiction

Paul Tillich and I: The Courage To Be

Paul Tillich photo

Tillich 1You know this experience, sometimes when you are browsing in a bookshop you come across a book with a wonderful title. This happened to me as  student when I saw a book with this title:

“The courage to be ”

by Paul Tillich

I was going through a hard time and just the title alone helped me as no one I knew had ever said it takes courage to live well.So I bought this book and dipped in. I found it interesting and thoughtful.Sometimes I would just look at the front cover and repeat the title.I had discovered mantra meditation.in a sense.

This morning I was listening to a radio programme  about poetry in England and tidying up. Suddenly my old battered copy fell out of a shelf and into my hand.And I said, thank you. Because I had  lost this companion and now it’s restored to me when I need again to say the words to help me in a personal crisis.

The Courage to Be

And to recognise the power of words on the human mind and thus to take care of  self and others and what we say to them for they too are struggling humans as we ourselves are.

And to discover virtue is not faux piety which suddenly reminded me that Tillich had a weakness for women. He was no plaster saint. I am not saying. I approve.

Had he stayed in Germany he would no doubt have been imprisoned even killed like Dietrich Bonhoeffer.He would not have been silent

Books… they save lives. I was so grateful and still am for education, books, people who talk to me .Had I lived a few years earlier it would have been different.

http://www.britannica.com/EBchecked/topic/595850/Paul-Tillich/7266/Development-of-his-philosophy

Tillich was expelled from Germany in 1933,the first non-Jewish theologian to have this honor bestowed on him.I never saw him but I love him for his writing.

Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone and solitude expresses the glory of being alone.
Paul Tillich
Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/p/paul_tillich.html#y15kkZigwdviBd76.99

Thank you too much for the fight

I say,dear,this bed is quite right.

Do you mean that itn dreams we fly kites?

You’re so clever you will soon be too bright.

Why,thank you so much,when’s your  flight?

Can’t  I stay here for our fight?

I have no clean pants to incite

I lust for your tender Goodnight.

Some folk can hide in plain sight.i

Don’t roll your eyes when they are bright.

Arthritis gives chastity frights

His heart failed but he functioned,well ,,quite.

Her  heart pains gave thrills  to their rites

They died but said heaven’s alright

/

New and excessively strange definitions of mental illness

gAlliums

http://www.offthegridnews.com/2010/10/08/is-free-thinking-a-mental-illness/
.
This is somewhat disturbing except to flowers and weeds.The article explains how more and more character styles are defined as mental illness.. like children being disobedient.Then therapy and drugs descend
Thomas Szasz says the term mental illness is a metaphor as there are no blood tests etc for any mental illness.It is between you and the psychiatrist.
I would accept there are many psychopaths around as we read about former Ministers in the press.But alas there’s no treatment for that… escept getting them to emigrate.

Lose weight the new way by having a nervous breakdown

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Having a nervous breakdown is not  pleasant but at least you lose weight  as terror sits on your abdomen .So the government is asking for new ways to induce breakdowns  in the public as it will prevent heart disease and diabetes.So far they have already caused two men to starve to death by docking their benefits… still they didn’t go to A and E nor have heart disease and they are already buried so no more benfits will be paid out.
As the mental health services are so bad, you will need to pay for therapy or break into a pharmacy.You will then be put in prison and hence lose more weight as the food is bad.
To help the government,you might be able to induce a breakdown by studying the economic situation,worrying about your children and not eating much.And watching TV all night… that might do the trick.Or try shopping on Cyber Monday and at Xmas.
On no account try to get better as they will force you to work free removing the insides of chickens as the chickens run along a conveyer belt… it’s cheaper and more hygienic not to kill them first.Is it Christian?Well, is the government Christian?

Going to church/synagogue does not make you anything,it’s your deeds that make you what you are plus what you say too.And what you write.. and email as they are actions as well.How you treat others.
Would Jesus have asked us to starve people to death to save the rich?
It’s bleeding obvious,my friends.Yet the callme a bleeding heart liberal.

Mercy

Even near a busy road,
Flowers bloom as well as they do in lonely gardens.
They show us the meaning of generosity
And determination, despite their vulnerability.
Live like a flower
Die like a rose.
Rise up in springtime
As the sap flows.

Is poetry writing therapeutic?

Forms of poetry

Most people who read poetry have heard of Sylvia Plath.She was only 30 when she died but  is now a top poet of the 20th century… her  ambition was fulfilled.But if poetry writing is therapeutic as many people believe,why did it not help her?
I read an article about this  but am sad to  say i can’t find the reference.The author claimed that writing  structured poetry like sonnets is more likely to be therapeutic.Nowadays though,free verse and non structured  poetry is what is fashionable.Rhymes are not.Think of modern music cocmpared to Schubert or Haydn… you get the point.
Plath’s poetry was ,in a way,violent.She went to her depths but as she already had suffered a severe breakdown and  more recently  was deserted by her husband her depths were full of pain and anguish.And she had sole care of two little infants.Was it worth it?
So it you feel you want to write for therapy,try writing in  a traditional form.The structure contains the feelings better.

It shall be so

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Gently dancing in the sun
Wildflowers grow;
they bloom,
are gone.

With no thoughts,they have no cares;
Yet their lives are gentle prayers.
May I walk in such a way
That I am alive to this day.

So I see with widening view,
And joy and sorrows embrace too.
Then my time will come, like yours...
And of us nothing  endures.
As to the earth our bodies go,
All are one;it shall be so

Seven causes, seven cures for lack of motivation

Andilly - Avenue des Cures 01
Andilly – Avenue des Cures 01 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Seven causes, seven cures for lack of motivation.

Worth a peek if you suffer from feeling over whelmed,bored  or you are a sucker for articles that help you to improve when you are already almost perfect and are happy with your life.And/or you love psychology..you have time on your hands and no watch.You  are old,young,rich,poor…mad about knowing how to live.

There once was a woman so clever

Her knickers were made of real leather

When asked how they smelled

She said,I can’t tell

If it’s me or it’s them, or the weather.

 

Social Sciences
Social Sciences (Photo credit: Mark Sadowski)
Related articles

Feeling suicidal?

I noticed many people read the article I reblogged about  a woman who was feeling so depressed last year.There are many resources … the Samaritans being the best here in the UK.local charges on phone

Or visit this link

http://www.breathingspacescotland.co.uk/bspace/119.34.36.html

Related articles

I don’t BELIEVE it!

http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2013/sep/08/84-cannot-reach-orgasm-age

Sexual healingIM000484.JPG

Browsing on philosophy I accidentally  hit on   this piece

A man  of 84 can have sex for ages but no orgasm.So he writes to the Guardian.Mr Japan the young are   becoming asexual.Sosmething wrong here!

Sexual Healing.Well,I have to admire this man of 84.And if he has no orgasm it means he can give time to his lady friend!

Related articles

Rumination hurts

“The biggest risk factor for rumination is simply spending time alone, something Americans now do all the time. When you’re interacting with another person, your mind just doesn’t have a chance to dwell on repetitive negative thoughts. But, really, any sort of engaged activity can work to interrupt rumination. “

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Rumination hurts

“The biggest risk factor for rumination is simply spending time alone, something Americans now do all the time. When you’re interacting with another person, your mind just doesn’t have a chance to dwell on repetitive negative thoughts. But, really, any sort of engaged activity can work to interrupt rumination. “

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Be a possible person…

I have copied this from the web but lost the source

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Be a possible person….
Live as an example of tolerance, patience, humility, and even some kindness (as difficult as that may be). We are all influenced by the people in our environment–they don’t have to be perfect all the time and neither do you. Give respect because you are human. If you don’t receive respect, that’s -sadly- their problem. Give understanding, and you get understanding. Ultimately this sort of behavior is probably the only thing that might get through to them. They may not change in everything, but you can safely expect a change.