Why do some people make us feel better?

Jonathan Haidt’s research (2003) has revealed that when we witness to acts of kindness, altruism, and moral courage, we respond with elevation—a warm, expansive feeling in our chests and sense of inspiration that makes us want to be less selfish, more altruistic ourselves. Studies by Michelangelo Vianello and his colleagues (2010) have shown that when leaders demonstrate an altruistic commitment to their ideals and act with fairness, they cause a ripple effect on the people around them, transforming their cultural atmosphere. Experiencing elevation, their followers respond with greater altruism, courtesy, cooperation, and citizenship. One altruistic person can make a powerful positive difference.
You feel this little lift in your heart

Niall Williams > Quote
“Some people make you feel better about living. Some people you meet and you feel this little lift in your heart, this ‘Ah’, because there’s something in them that’s brighter or lighter, something beautiful or better than you, and here’s the magic: instead of feeling worse, instead of feeling ‘why am I so ordinary?’, you feel just the opposite, you feel glad. In a weird way, you feel better because before this you hadn’t realised or you’d forgotten human beings could shine so.”
A strange and exiting video
Tips about using your keyboard
The rainbow
Dictated entry to soulmates.hell
Finally educated woman with own mature ears is looking for a man with bad taste .First class with guitar and likes to imitate Leonard Cohen money welcome but not essential ;good appetite welcome, bad manners unwelcome. I have got a void inside me but I’m sure that if you put some compost in despite the fact that I am now 59 and 3/4 we could always try it in a plant pot instead of my room; that’s interesting , about love in a plant pot now there’s an idea have you ever thought about it yourse.
lf if you are ring me on the following number 44 that’s the United Kingdom dialling code and then the number is 0 0 0 0 1 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 0 9 please ring me between 4 and 4 p.m. in the afternoon on a Sunday unless you are of a religion that makes it impossible in that case make it Monday 5 to 5pm
If you would prefer to email me then use the following email address@ idolisedwoman @zmale.com. I not know where to meet you if you live in the same City as me; if not we could use Skype or Facebook messaging send me your selfie buy attachment only no further attachments will be accepted as I am very interested in introversion and believe that any new man in my life but also be an introvert like Trump there’s an introvert if ever I saw one See how Carl Jung was quite wrong when he put his mind to it but never really in the world ,no one could ruin the word except a man extrovert .That’s what I believe; I’ve been doing research now for 45 years into this topic and it’s all been ruined by Donald Trump because I would never have dreamed that millions of people will be willing to accept him as their Saviour ;it is like a religion sickness.That word isn’t right but it’s like the devil worship which used to be quite common here in England. The god Pan once half man half goat and therefore was a god over time before civilisation , when people take notes and put them down in milk and ink years ago. I would like to find a man who would be able to pay the power , will make me a cup of tea in the morning and smile at me twice yearly that will do me so I’m not really demanding an idiosyncratic man.
Examiner, please press 9 on your keypad now.
Waiting for the long haul
Traveling light
Mistakes made by email dictation
Woman, 78, evil with good eyesight.Seeking man, similar rage eand good crookery an advantage.Knowledge of sin cards welcome.
Smartphone owner but scene to learn and adore more than snappy.Must eat cheese in bed.Will be charged weekly by Amazon power cord.Non-diver acceptable if nobody better applies.Lovability is the pain idea.Please send selfies to 449011117666090909 or email me at ira-eviloutlook@gwail.com with no current attachments from kegel photos/
Replacing it to give us truer sight
The home I once thought beautiful has gone
And strangers bid to pass their views as gifts
The eyes I look through now are almost done
The world shall fall apart;it shall be swift.
For sorrow casts a shadow grey and bleak.
A cataract of the spirit makes life grim
We do not understand nor do we speak
Our generosity seems to be thin
On the lens of eye the surgeon works
Replacing it to give us truer sight
But on the eye of soul we seem to shirk
Not knowing we are isolate from light.
In these spaces, few there are who talk
And long grey shadows seemingly do stalk
God’s sacred smile

http://home.btconnect.com/mike.flemming/
We dwelled inside a sphere of holy love
Which we and angels shared for just a while
Where our below is linked to heaven above
To cradle us inside God’s sacred smile.
This state of grace in which I sang for you
Made all the Ward turn holy for an hour
As to my love I ever would be true
Even now he was become a withered flower.
Earth to earth and ash to ash we go
With dear hearts holding us in case we fall
And being flesh we all must undergo
An end or new beginning of our call.
Once he died, the sphere of grace was gone.
Yet in my mind, that smile will linger on
Trope?
-
a figurative or metaphorical use of a word or expression.“both clothes and illness became tropes for new attitudes toward the self”
-
a significant or recurrent theme; a motif.“she uses the Eucharist as a pictorial trope”
-
Bibliospasm
Bibliochasm…………. am empty space in the bookshelves.
Bibliofathom…………… to understand a book after a long period of study.
Bibliospasm…. a shudder in the bookcase.
Bibliogasm.. great pleasure from reading a book
Courage rises even as I moan
From time and place and season I am lost, Disorientated ,missing tracks well worn. Do not suppose I’m unaware of cost, Nor label me with epithets of scorn. For usual paths lead to the usual place. The safest way to live and perhaps to die. But wandering through the woods I find new space and in wild grasses with the fox I lie. Through distant trees, i see a way to go as narrow as a slit in pallid stone This is my destined way, I seem to know And courage rises even as I moan. Remember when we’re lost ,we may then find Another way,a place,another mind.
While at the same time feeling calm and love
One thing that in the past I might’ve been ashamed to tell anybody was that one week before my husband died, although we didn’t know then when he was going to die, he woke up in the morning and he said to me
I’m feeling very angry with you. I was angry when I went to sleep and I’m still angry now I woke up.
I felt very sad. I would have felt that it was my fault normally, but after looking after him for more than 8 months just when I had had a lengthy operation on my own face by the time this morning arrived you can imagine the feeling of a state of terrible anguish while at the same time feeling calm and love; when you are no longer in that state you can’t remember what it was like [ maybe that’s a good thing.]
So then he said, I am very angry that you are more intelligent than I am. So I said to him, love, you knew what I was doing when you met me that is doing higher studies in mathematics and also even doing some teaching in the university and I said ,to try the tricks with humour, they didn’t teach domestic science at Oxford
And anyway I didn’t agree. I said I don’t agree with you, we just have different sorts of intelligence so then he went, When we got married I taught you how to play chess[ that is true he did] and then he said and the very first game you beat me and that’s why I have never played with you again.
I don’t know why you never played with me again but I was glad as I didn’t like it I don’t like competitive games like chess I like to do things which are totally different from mathematics
And then he said a few other things that managed to get through the gaps in his mind about him hating me and some horrible as well
I can’t actually remember what it what they were but then I was touched deeply in My Heart by Compassion for him and I said to him :
I think I was a little bit irritable with you sometime yesterday and I’m very , very sorry darling I am tired now looking after you all day and some times reading you stories about Emile and Stan and Mary in the night when you feel bad, but I’m very, very sorry I got irritable;he looked at me didn’t say anything he was still in bed and then after about half an hour he became his normal self and for the next week he was as kind and good has anybody could be given the situation.
He was in a place not a hospital and two days before he died I was there in the evening. I’d been there all afternoon I was there in the evening.He is lying flat more or less and he was trying to say something and I leaned over to try to understand and he said , How are you going to manage?
I don’t know whether he meant how was I going to manage without him or whether he was just wondering how I’d to manage to get home that evening. I assumed the second and assuring him that I heard him I could get a cab to bring me home and I have some frozen food which I could make a meal from so I said,
Good night. When I went in the next day he was very ill and they sent for an ambulance and took him to the hospital and he was there in A and E for 19 hours; it was really beautiful. I fed him some soft food on a teaspoon then I sang psalms and lullabies and then he died just like going to sleep except he had leaned over towards me and give me a big smile he looked very happy. For a moment, I thought ,so he is getting better but then he went just like that.He left me.My task was a success.
That epileptic wit
I wanted to do a lot of the things I was using on my Windows computer like Artweaver; you can get very similar things online, for example instead of art weaver for which you have to download software you can use pixlr editor which is meant to editing photographs.
It’s online so you don’t have to get software and I have looked at it and used it quite a lot .Many of the tools that you can use are almost identical to Artweaver.It seems a bit unfair really because I think with Artweaver there is a professional version and I have never felt my work has reached that point where I need a professional version because I use it to make my own style of pictures.which are not like everything I’ve ever seen in books Because when I started doing it I couldn’t find any books about it so I just play with it and I suppose the first thing that really affected me was very , very simple it was inverting the colours in the photograph. I had a photograph of some people standing by the church gate in the marketplace. It’s a Norman church it’s quite attractive ; for some reason, I think accidentally did it.I am very surprised by it ; it looks as if it was taken at night with snow on the ground ; I don’t know how to explain it but it affected me .so initially that’s all that I used to do.
At some point I’m ,where are the things that you can do right ,use a tool on your own picture that is called Curves, if you move it up and down you can change the colours sometimes quite dramatically and then there were two pictures and that which I think are very, very good one is made from a photograph of my leg with my hands on my calf and it’s Just in brown and cream and it’s a very moving image .
Another one that I believe is very good partly because it has many people saying that but I agree with them.It’s from a picture of the gardens at Melton House and it’s a tall, old brick wall with a Wisteria in a corner so you know if someone said to me will you make another one like that ,I wouldn’t be able to do one exactly like that be honest I do so many alterations that I don’t make a note of these, sometimes I remove them and change it back then make changes even more and it will be impossible to tell you how I got it unless I was willing to spend hours and I know it in every possible move and what the consequences for the picture which I’m not willing too do because I want to do more creation.
I don’t want to explain things to peopl.on’t know why but I must confess that they have complained about me explaining things too much and that might be a factor possibly and also with your teacher life while find that my husband used to say things about me telling you how to do things and saying it is because I was a teacher but I don’t think it was. Is it because he was asking me how to do things like put a light bulb in and were af three point plug on symmetrical object leaving know how to do it so hard to explain it or show him I found it he is very somebodI and if you’re still playing it to work um i’m not gay yetyet but maybe I started explaining all things seem like the meaning of the universe. I think that’s the other way around that that’s what he would explain to me or anything anyway sometimes when you’re intimate with somebody for a long time you do to get to feel hurt a very angry with them and he got angry that often and I think sometimes it when he was on his medication for diabetes you get hypoglycemia when the blood sugar falls very low and when that happens, you can get very aggressive. you felt myself about the People next door he went up to the premier shop to pay their they’re not supposed ability to one for the paper shop and ask them for some meat she’s a lady his new told him no but she’s a further along but after a few minutes he went back in and they forcing me to go and she told him she thought he should come home and luckily he managed to walk the 10 minutes or so alright without falling and the previous night or the one before I left her name is it had one of those dreadful parties and we both couldn’t sleep the whole night and I suppose it’s not just that you’re awake it’s the fact that you can’t do anything about it because they have been rather nasty to have when they first came here so we came down the street and he was his wife is there any buses running in a graveyard or I can see if wife is my Russian Jewish boyfriend also what is who’s very very white skin new is very dark hair and brown eyes, well my husband was really pale you went next door banging on the door somebody came out and he said to them in a very loud voice next time you have a party tell us and we’ll go away for the weekend ;well after that they never had another party; sometimes they used to have parties that they have no music at all the only time that their daughter’s 16th allowed out of a party in the back garden. Ravenstone Hitler’s plans for the young people because before somebody probably put it on Facebook and there was a hello in Ireland as it happened I think I am gastric food and I was in bed so is on the other side of the house but I’m still here around the Manor Croft I said hey what’s going on I said I don’t know it’s Charlotte’s birthday anyway before very long where are the fire and it wasn’t because one of the young people that are epileptic fit and he or she had not taken their medication with them so she ran across the road and not him that are delightful never tells you she really is a saint she makes you feel better when you’re with me even though you don’t speak or tell her anything just being with her,you feel better.I found that after my husband died t and she will come to a person trying to revive this teenager waiting for the ambulance and the side gate open all the young people walked out in a line and walked away down the street that was the end of the party the personal MBA collective it was ok nothing he could have been in the music and if they are those lights what are they called strobes that can bring on an epileptic fit even if you don’t normally have epilepsy is very strange thing because many of the saints like Saint Paul for example had a vision ;if you now thought that some people with it in fact they were epileptic and when you have a bad fit that you can see either demonic figures or you can feel very wonderful person this week she wouldn’t share with you as being from God wouldn’t you to Christianity mobile let me hold you to him ; epilepsy if St Paul’s hadn’t it epilepsy then he wouldn’t be any Saint Paul; that makes you think doesn’t it
Not signed in
In such captive grief
How like a prison is my cubicle How wary is my body on this chair. How still my heart and yet how truly fickle. How fast it flies to you who are not here. How elegant your letters and your thoughts How gentle was your touch upon my throat. And yet you killed my words and all I brought... You were no lover but a randy goat. As in this mental jail I'm neatly trapped, I'll use this time to write and also pray. Perhaps my mind can extricate a map.. From which I'll plot the route to get away. The prisons which seem external are inside Yet in such captive grief, we humans die.
The unthought known
![]() |
There is a very strange concept now in psychoanalysis called
” the unthought known”, I think it refers to something in the patient which they experienced and so know but they had not then learned words ,so if it was too painful it constantly bothers them yet they can’t explain it or tell anyone.This is why psychoanalysis takes so long and even then I am unsure if a therapist can supply what the mother couldn’t Perhaps if we know that we will never understand some of our feelings and worries but can accept them even if we don’t want to. then we can live with them. |
What it actually means to be a writer
Being nice
Woman kept for 20 hours on a trolley in a mixed hospital corridor next to a tom cat.

BBC weather,Brough in snow.
Mary was going to the hospital wearing her new magenta padded coat and an orange felt hat just like the one her mother used to wear when she went to church, although her mother had never had an orange hat. It would have been considered very bad taste.
In her hand was a long green handbag ; inside this sat her cat Emile.He was very naughty because he wanted to come to the hospital with her. Emile being a cat will probably not be admitted into the waiting room if she mentioned it to anyone; however ,she was hoping he would keep still.
She did not want to let the cat out of the bag at the wrong moment ,especially when she was seeing a lady doctor.
But the staff are so busy they might not notice that he is a cat and before he knows what is happening he may be admitted to the hospital and left lying on a trolley in a corridor for 25 hours. Unlike a human being, Emile is not very patient and he will certainly not lie prone on a trolley all night waiting for the kindness of strangers. As a matter of fact he speaks good English and could easily hold his own in a male ward. Nowadays many of the wards are mixed and would you want to wake up in the morning next to a Tom Cat. That would certainly hit the headlines .
Woman kept for 20 hours on a trolley in a mixed corridor next to a tom cat!At least he is neither a lion nor a lamb.
BTW Theresa May asked corridors to be relabelled as wards and bathrooms to be labelled as,
Wards for one with ensuite.
Where will all the other patients be able to relieve themselves….commodes?
I asked the nurse to give to me her food
Oh evil chance, one day this week I fell
They sent me to thehospital , such fun!
I saw the lovely nurses in the hall
And hoped they would not send me to the bin
The x-ray of my hand caused horrid pain
The curled up finger straightened with a push
And this impacted me, my body and my brain
And on my face , it caused a curious flush
There is no obvious fracture to be seen
They reckon it’s a tendon that is stuck
It’s rather difficult pulling up my jeans
What goddess has given me such luck
The snow down fell , the wind was fierce and cold
The weather matched the Misery of my moods
But when I had some coffee I felt bold.
I asked the nurse to give to me her food
I truly enjoyed going out today
And now I’ll sell my memoirs on E -bray
When I did this using the microphone it came up with some very rude words.Of course, the computer does not know that they are rude,I suppose!
Get up!
Most successful writers do their work in the morning. For a practice that some have dubbed the midnight disease, it’s surprising to note that most famous authors aren’t the slaves of spontaneous inspiration, but instead, all write in the early hours of the morning.
Conversation makes all humans lovers
All I really want is to converse,
With those who share a simple human soul
Ancients past who left to us their verse.
Mystics who have sought to make us whole.
Far beyond the house extensions reaching,
Two lined lovers gently holding hands.
Beyond the limits of all human teaching
Beyond the reach of marching army bands.
A look, a glance, a word may touch us truly.
And we return the friendship with our eyes.
Anger should not bother us unduly
To retaliate is often to revive.
So in iambic rhymes discover,
Conversation makes all humans lovers
Discovery
From the BBC photos of current winter weather
| ‘I have never started a poem yet whose end I knew. Writing a poem is discovering.’ |
Strange coincidence

Although the errors in the last post were made by the computer not me ,some were strangely apt.
The bit about “the children all paid respect to the dead and slept together until puberty “reminded me that after my dad died my sister and I slept in the bed where he died.I find it sad now but we didn’t talk about it.We were 8 and 6 then.
We got single beds after I began to menstruate.
It’s the free association of the software!
Dictated poem
My microphone annoyed the one I love
So I had never used it till he left
And now he is in heaven so high above
My voice will not annoy nor be a pest
In fact my lover died 2 years ago
know I’ve been adapting to my fate
But even in the depths of Winter snow
I know what many other losers know
That the one you love has gone and can’t return
That all your secret words are now unshared
And though your heart with agony shall burn
You will not let the neighbours hear one word
The memories, the cowslips by the stream,
The beach at Southwold, and the harbour call
Beyond the happiness of love and all her schemes
You live alone behind a ten foot wall
That love is good, few people will dispute
Let love be judged by nothing but its fruits
Is it apt to search for Love without
Is it apt to search for Love without
When we need to connect with our own soul
For surely we will need to study doubt
Before we can become more real,more whole
The conflict which disturbs is filled with pain
And so we are reluctant to go there
But if in hope we try again again
We may find a way which we can bear
Willingness is potent as our tool
Sullenness will ruin all our hopes
And so it’s plain to all except a fool
There is no advantage in long mopes
With patience and acceptance we are real
And in our hearts, a new peace is revealed
Reasons to read poems

“2. Poetry can change how you see the world
A great poem, like a great novel or even a great movie, can expose you to parts of the world that you didn’t know existed and that you haven’t witnessed first hand. They can transport you to another reality and open your eyes, reminding you that the world is a big, interesting place full of opportunities and adventures.”
Solution to lack of hospital beds
Theresa May has ordered that all corridors in hospitals be relabelled as wards. and given names:
“Long thin dirty blue ward”
“Long yellow windowless ward”
Also toilets and cloakrooms.
A toilet is “An ensuite ward for one”
A bathroom is “a ward for people who like sleeping in water.”
Since a ward is now anywhere with a trolley or bed in it no logician can complain.And if it’s you there you’ll be too ill.You may even be dead but as there is no nurse they don’t know.
It makes you think.
I sang to let him know that I was near
No-one should die on a trolley in a hospital corridor. We demand more funding to make our NHS safe for everyone who needs it.
38 degrees appeal.
On his trolley happy and at peace
He smiled then died within my glanceI
sang to let him know that I was near
In the hope my love would ease his fear.
Is it all right to die on a trolley in the car park? Or in the bathroom?
It’s not the trolley,it’s the location.
When my husband was dying I was quite unaware of where we were which was fortunate because I did not realise my singing was entertaining or pacifying the entire A and E department.I should have asked for money!
I sang psalms which usually I’d not recall the words of.Then I sang songs my dad sang to me….lullabies.Paul Robeson.Logically I had no idea he was dying but my actions and behaviour showed part of me knew.I find that odd.
I do feel very sorry that some folk die in a corridor.They’ll probably begin calling the corridors wards soon.Then nobody can complain.





