I’ve got some crutches at home as well as these here. What do you mean
Why would anybody have two pairs of crutches?
Well I’m very prone to losing things.
Losing crutches is difficult. You can’t put them into a drawer
Well if you had my eyesight you would understand
I’m sorry,I didn’t realise you were blind
I think I’m going deaf as well.
So you can’t walk without crutches you can’t see much and now you can’t hear very well
How is your appetite?
I wouldn’t say no to meringue.
But you might be diabetic.
What does it matter now ? I could walk into the road not seeing that there’s a double decker bus arriving and then I could get killed or alternatively even with crutches my balance is not very good so I could go for the walk along the the White cliffs of Dover and fall into the sea so why should I worry about being diabetic?
Even having rheumatoid arthritis osteoarthritis and unstable angina there’s no protection against other diseases such as diabetes or cancer.
Well what do you want me to do, commit suicide?
That would not be easy in your condition unless you walk in front of a Lorry.
You couldn’t be sure that it would kill me
I might walk behind the lorry with my eyesight
In one way it’s good that it might not kill you but on the other hand if you really want to die then it will be disappointing to wake up with two broken legs two broken arms and a fractured skull but still alive.
It’s an interesting way to think about something that can be positive or negative depending on the mindset. There seem to be lots of adverts for the Samaritans.
On Facebook they’re also asking us to donate to Mind.
Everybody seems to be mentally ill now including me.
My husband was in the hospital and he tested positive for TV
That’s all right you can turn him on whenever you like
The surgeon drained my knee with a lozenge. Or was it a Syrian? I wish I’d learnt to read when I was blunder
Did they put a primula in the back of your hand first?
She said your knee is twice the normal size, are you in any discomfort?
I knew my stockings were too tight, so I said, no.
She said, you don’t seem to realize the toll this is taking on me.
So I suggested she should change her job.
I was having a problem distinguishing between myself and other people.
She said, all this pain is bad for you. Would you like a morphine patch on your shoulder?
I said, what about putting it on my bladder I would really like that better
She said I’ve never been so consulted in my satired life. You have to put the patch on your skin on top of some blood vessels
So I said, what about putting it over my heart?
Maybe you could inject it right into my heart directly.
That will be assisted dying and it’s not even legal yet so I will be committing murder.
I didn’t realise morphine was so dangerous. And it can make you feel depressed as well as killing you
Have you noticed now that nearly all the doctors are women and they work part-time and they tell you at 8:00 p.m. in A&E,
stop talking because I’ve got children working for me at home.
Is it my fault if they employ foreigners as underage slaves?
Anyway I think I might be going deaf when I recover from all my ailments I have to go to the doctor and say
I can’t hear you
And she will shout
What?
Modern slavery in Britain a serious things l
By the way there are people here we brought from Africa tempted by the offer of money and they are working as carers being paid the minimum wage and their own money to the company that brought them over claiming their needed it for their visas.
It’s a form of modern slavery in my opinion and it’s disgusting I have met some of them and they are lovely people some are qualified teachers and other professionals
The poverty in their home country is great and the life expectation is not very long but this is no reason to exploit them.
For it is only through the enjoyment of life, through relating to others and Self, that the individual can be enriched and continue to develop and grow.
The vital line was drawn with one brush strokeThe way the back leant curving into spaceThe dance and danger both are thus evokedLike a play, a drama, fire and smokeA dance performed so swiftly and with graceThe vital line was drawn with one brush strokeThe heavy bull is pounding,is provoked.A threat, a man, intrudes into his spaceThe dance and danger both are still evokedSee, the matador throw out his cloakA dash of black, and here we see his faceThe vital line was drawn with one brush stroke
The mind needs just a hint to see the wholeWe fill the present with our past distasteThe dance and danger, mirroring dark smoke
Across the road I see a Tudor wall In its cracks defiant flowers grow The modern traffic sounds out a loud wail From the East a freezing wind still blows
In between the natural world and man The space provides a habitat,retreat Ancient yew trees grow without a plan And in each little bird a heart still beats
Concentrating on the green and ancient views Ignoring the red buses as they pass Ignoring strident music , find the clues Down comes peace and joy, our Holy Mass
Reversal of the figure and the ground Brings out a new world where love is found
A day with my own self, such peaceful hours The inner seas make music as they roll And in the ground the worms air roots of flowers
The rain comes down in cold but gentle showers Desiring to give moisture to all souls A symbol of the value of quiet hours
In Northern hills we looked for Durham owls They hunt by day to keep their bodies whole While in the ground the worms air roots of flowers
My loved one was a native of those towers Highcliff Nab and Hasty Bank called home My days with him a-wandering there for hours
As he died , deep in my heart I howled I held his hands, remembered , paid the toll While in the ground the worms digest the sour
Lying in the heather we had roamed May God have mercy on his homing soul Now I enjoy in reverie our hours Deep in the ground the worms drowse mixed with flowers
The place where you learn to practise having fractures
The hip replacement clinic
You go here when you’ve lost your hip.
Please know which one it is left or right before you arrive at the clinic
A hat trick
You can wear a hat so that you can keep something under it
If you are on the verge of a nervous breakdown go to the psychiatric clinic where you can have a complete one under the psychiatrist
If you don’t know how to use a commode go to the geriatric ward. They’ll teach you how to be incontinent by refusing to take you to the toilet in a wheelchair when you have broken your leg
Happenstance
When something perfect happens seemingly by charice
A consultant
The head doctor in a unit not just not to be confused with s psychiatrist.
Psychiatrist
Used to be someone who dealt with the psyche but now we don’t believe in the psyche anymore but we still go crazy anyway
In fact it’s normal to go crazy from time to time. It’s just a total relaxation and refusal to bear any tension
Now just pay attention. It’s easy once you know what currency is used in Attention.
“I will say this quite plainly, what truly human is -and don’t be afraid of this word- love. And I mean it even with everything that burdens love or, i could say it better, responsibility is actually love, as Pascal said: ‘without concupiscence’ [without lust]… love exists without worrying about being loved.”
― Emmanuel Lévinas, Of God Who Comes to Mind