I left a pan of curry on the stove Hot as ash combined with burning coal Yet when I went back in a cat stood there Eating this strong curry with no care.
It must have had thick skin inside its mouth Before I looked ,it ran out of the house To think it gobbled up our supper so Leaving me with nothing but a glow
So then I made a chilli beef and beans My heart ached as I listened to puss scream Can cats learn that pans are out of bounds? I’d hate to hear again its anguished sounds
Be sure to close the kitchen door or else You too will suffer torment from cats’ yells
I’m in deep now,never been this deep before The world’s hollow like a shell and I’m out its door. In so deep, the ocean has its own startled floor. I’m down,down.down.never been so dark , so more I can’t rightly tell how I got where I am I think I had an accident,fell over, then I swam. Sometimes it’s a loss, be times it’s a man. I guess I only do it ‘cos I know some folk can. I don’t know if the joy is worth the pain Would I choose to relive if, I was born again? The deep joy is the amazing gain. But the sorrow is damn sad, let’s admit it plain. I’m in deep and it’s over my head What was I thinking of,when I fell out of that bed? I look up and the sea’s so turquoise like that mist is red When we get good and mad and wish some loon was dead. At first, it was all just black,black pain But from the bottom of the well, I looked up with awed love again. That’s when I recalled,feelings are sound and sane Joy is much greater when we’re in the deep,deep zone. I dunno if I’m ever comin’ out. We can’t control it,ain’t that what life’s all about? I’ll never love with innocence again,nor not feel doubt. But I’m no teapot and the devil ain’t got my spout. I’m swimming and the ocean’s so mysteriously bright Down here ,we don’t have no day nor no night Fish nudge me with big grins and teeth white. Sea-flowers fondle me and whisper,turn off that light!
When true love’s gone and doom hangs over head When life runs like a river to the sea Then shall I take new lovers to my bed And with their carnal touch consoled be?
When my love lies and breaks my tender heart. When life is grey and rocks bestrew my path. Then, shall I my life of evil start, And on the world shall I bestow my wrath?
When true love lies and wrecks all loyalty. When puzzlement makes all my world seem mad. Then I shall upend causality And let myself do deeds which make me glad.
For I have love’s own child inside my soul And I shall tend her till at last she’s whole
I envy shy black people because they can blush secretly
And I envy Chinese people because they don’t go yellow when they feel sick
I envy Jewish people because they enjoy arguments.Yes that is too general a statement but don’t let’s argue about it. Unless you are Jesus Christ. Did Jesus
argue? Get the Bibles out.
I envy philosophers because they know what distinguishes an argument from a quarrel
I don’t want to be a Catholic because they believe in hell. Can you still go to hell even if you don’t believe in it
Why does nobody mention limbo anymore?
Why do I have to ask questions when other people know by intuition?
You are going to do something creative. So how do you get ready? You are hoping for some new ideas some connections.
Well suppose you are going to bake a cake the first thing that you do is what?
You have to clear a space on your work surface or table to put you your baking bowl and you have to make sure the oven is empty
The very first thing you must do is to wash up in case the cake tin all the bowls you need all there being soaked and there’s no room for anything else so you wash up up.and put these things away and now you have a space in which you can set about creating the cake of your dreams
Supposing do you want to paint a picture or write a poem.
Our mind is full of ideas,of people we’ve just seen or a unfulfilled desires thoughts about food clothing who knows jealousy envy love
Well you can’t create when your mind is full like that.
That is what Marion Milner discovered that if she said
I am nothing I have nothing I want nothing
This freed her from the buzzing cloud of flies inside my head. And then thoughts and ideas from the deeper parts of the mind can come into the consciousness.
She calls this the gesture of
Inner Poverty.
By giving up for a time all the things that occupy our thoughts we create some space for new ideas.
I can’t guarantee that they will be any good but there’s a good chance of it if we follow up a little ideas with some hard work.
I think it might be rather like the desireless that is part of Buddhism.
Saying I am nothing is not self derogatory. Nobody is nothing o and if you believe in God you will believe that everybody has a soul equal two other people’s in the eyes and God regardless of your wealth or status. It’s it’s moving away from constant occupation with egocentric concerns which can impede perception.
Because these concerns are a barrier to our vision.
This is just one way of looking at perception and creativity
I burned eight pans while I daydreamed in grief I meant to cook my dinner while I wrote My attention was too sparse,a narrow brief I burned eight pans while I swam in deep grief This war on objects makes my mind a thief Where once love lived, I see his empty coat. I burned eight pans while knocked about by grief I tried to cook my supper, I saw smoke
Oh,mother dear wherever have you been To leave a cat all day is very mean Emile,I need my freedom now and then I can’t love Dave but I would like a man I must go out to buy a handsome coat Cognac is the colour I love most Emile cried, whatever do you think I saw some frogs a-courting in the sink I was on the draining rack up there They asked me to avert my amber stare
Are frogs faithful, don’t they just leave spawn? They are cold towards tadpoles unborn We saw them by Moss Bank in shallow pools Mary wonders if all frogs are cruel
Stan came with his angels right behind They are tired of heaven, they’ve resigned Here’s a pin upon which they can dance Mary was delighted and entranced
Do you need a dinner now you’ve died? I wouldn’t mind a steak, the old man sighed Some buttered new potatoes and a fool Rhubarb or vanilla would be cool
I have done no shopping, Mary cried I have no money for the food you like Shall I get a pizza, fish and chips That will put some colour in your lips
I am only joking, Stanley said I shall merely visit you in bed Emile wept with joy to see his Dad What a spirit, is he going mad?
In came Annie in her long best coat Her eyes were black and scratched was her throat I fell into the Croal when eating chips See the bruises on my pouting lips
Never walk on water,Mary screeched Even when you cross that Southport Beach Stay away from danger,I’ll ring Dave He will dress your bruises with his gauze
Annie did not tell them the real truth She had fallen off the sloping roof
Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.
• She is numb from her toes down
This man wanted his own bed so I told him he could have it for £100 cash.
By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better.
• Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
• On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
• She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
• The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
• Patient was released to outpatient department without dressing.
• I have suggested that he loosen his pants before standing and then, when he stands with the help of his wife, they should fall to the floor.
• The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
• Discharge status: Alive but without permission.
• Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year-old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
• The patient refused an autopsy.
• The patient has no past history of suicides.
• Patient has left his white blood cells at another hospital.
• The patient’s past medical history has been remarkably insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the past three days.
• She slipped on the ice and apparently her legs went in separate directions in early December.
• The patient experienced sudden onset of severe shortness of breath with a picture of acute pulmonary oedema at home while having sex, which gradually deteriorated in the emergency room.
• The patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
• The patient was in his usual state of good health until his aeroplane ran out of gas and crashed.
• When she fainted, her eyes rolled around the room
Stan was a very naughty man because he winked at his dear wife before dying and she had no chance to respond. That is so typical of Stan, she said to Annie, her best friend. Well, at least he went peacefully.Annie replied in a kindly tone And to think I had just bought him 6 new pairs of pyjamas. You can’t blame him for that.You always buy too much, Annie murmured politely Well, I suppose I like to be prepared, Mary muttered.I felt so helpless as he went thinner and thinner. What are you going to do with them all, Annie whispered. There’s only one solution.I’ll have to find a man to fit the pyjamas and marry him That’s a strange way of choosing a new husband, Annie said in a shocked voice. In the end however rational we try to be, life is down to luck. Yes, didn’t Churchill say, chance favours the prepared mind? It wasn’t Churchill, it was Blaise Pascal.Mary told her in of voice rich with wisdom Well, why not marry him? He sounds intriguing He’s dead, Mary responded succinctly Oh, what a pity.He sounded just right for you, Annie said tearfully.Are we going to the funeral? I am afraid he died before we were born, Mary said in an anguished tone. Well, he’s no use.Anyone else you fancy?How about Dante? Annie screamed Which Dante do you mean?I thought he was Italian, Mary informed her. It’s not far by plane, though Brexit might be a problem, Annie said wisely. Let’s be realistic.No dead, great genius will be revived by the Lord to marry me.Mary said as if she were lecturing to a big class on differential geometry and its use in economics.No wonder we had the Depression That might be blasphemy, Annie informed her.After all, if God is omnipotent he can do anything at all. To me, he sometimes seems incompetent, said Mary wildly.And of all the lonely people in the world, why should he aid me in my grief? Anway male geniuses are very demanding.I think a cook or chef might be more practical. Oh, look, we’ve missed Mass again. We’ve not been for 40 years and just when we decided to go we started talking about these powerful creatures and a husband for you Never mind, why don’t we wait till Xmas? And so say all of us.
I eat my egg and chips whilst wise men frown They give advice and rush to bring me down An Exfridge educated woman can’t eat fries So in McDonalds ,they have placed their spies
How else explain that man in Cohen’s suit And on his feet, black polished Chelsea boots? Such men would eat in foreign Restaurants Not linger in Mc Donald’s penitent
Yes, all these people must be sent as spies From Oxford,Cambridge, even MI 5. Yet I do not abandon my fried bread Despite that Quantum Theory seeping out my head
It’s probable that they are eying me Come,thou loon , Len Cohen wants his tea
A needle, pen or life itself have points To sew, to write, to beautify or haunt. Our hands and minds, creative in intent Give our lives their point, their way. their bent.
The long hands of the clock to numbers guide The fingers on the the gun this life deride. The hand of fate without our will can point The demons in the dream may rudely taunt.
Our lips may tighten when we are enraged When others in our lives direct our page Our words are stuck, we cannot let them out So we never learn the truth ” about”
Fingers pull the trigger,use the switch The world destroyed in pointless rhetoric
Do not leave me for the desolate grave. Do not leave me here when you are gone Do not leave me to whom love you gave Do not leave me
My tender arms, I stroke and gently bathe To soothe my mind , when near me there is none. Do not leave me for the desolate grave Do not leave me
For our humorous love ,I ever crave A founding ground we have built upon Do not leave me to whom love you gave Do not leave me
A sorrow deep convulses like a wave Washes me of hope, of memories done Yet do not leave me for the desolate grave. Do not leave me
I love not the charisma of men suave I loved your voice and all the loving done Never leave me to whom love you gave Never leave me.
In my heart, your name shall be engraved In my mind, you circle like the sun Do not leave me for your desolate grave Do not leave me for death’s dark embrace~ Do not leave me
Old man,bending over, arched like a fallen moon in a dark lilac November sky. joy and pain wrestle my heart across the emptiness and toss it up like a damp rocket to fall in a hidden corner where mice live. Would that not be a good ending,to be dust to these little creatures nesting in my chewed green twine and my tartan basket? They have eyes and shiver in my hand when I rescue them from the cat… as any heart might. Now night falls on the newspaper basket where the damp Times and the Guardian mix into glue and tomorrow the sun will rise and it will just be the garbage with no poetic undertones nor deathly hushes.. Heather and a silver light you stand on a hill top like a god looking over his domain. Strong and now weak it’s the humane condition Everlasting life is too dangerous for humans. Silent,motionless,home of beetles bit by bit we fall away into the mother soil with cracked jugs and dropped coins for a future academic to dig into. Transparent hand touches me. Whose might it be
Wordsworth’s poem is delivered by a strong speaker, but not a very intimate one by our standards. Contemporary poetry, and the poetry of twentieth-century America, shifted the footing of much poetry to the conversational and the highly mobile speech register of one ordinary person speaking confidentially to another. Here is the opening to Eleanor Lerman’s poem “Ode to Joy”: Four drinks after nine o’
The life boat crew are safely home They’ve brought the shipwrecked sailors too. The storm has passed, the wind has dropped The sea is swaying softly now.
Wrapped in soft night clothes, their offspring Are all in world of dream still lost. Their fathers’ safely home this time. They save wrecked ships despite the cost.
Will any lifeboat crew be there To help less blessed ones from despair, And lives, too many , spent in care No fathers and no mothers near?
The sea we certainly must fear, But more we fear the acts of those Who try to buy our minds and wills, for votes in the election booths.
Oh hush my baby, go to sleep, It is your mammy’s job to weep. I wish I knew just what to do To empower the lives of wains like you.
Sleep well, sleep well, my little child. The sun will rise, the air is mild. We’ll trust that when we all set sail Our love and courage will not fail.
Oh,hush my sweet one, I am near. The world’s too big for bairns to bear. We’ll do much better this time round. We’ll not let this boat run aground
October 28, 2019 Walking on the long white shore with you The perfect sands, the sky and sea so blue The rippling waves made patterns on our shoes Oh,come back,sweetheart ,I can’t bear your loss
The church at Old Hunstanton has a pond Ducks and geese were waiting for more food The silence was enormous, like the sky Interrupted by a wild bird’s cry
At Brancaster we nearly met our deaths Cut off by a wave behind our backs Young and green ,we knew no panic then But now I feel it as I walk alone
Without my anchor I may float away A little speck of dust in that wide bay
If you ever bring yourself to clear out a lot of your possessions you may if you do it slowly and properly you may come to love the empty spaces in your home and you enjoy the freedom from having to organise and sort out your possessions.
The rich young man was sad when Jesus told him to sell his possessions and I think the reason why Jesus did that was not because it’is inherently wrong but it is a burden when caring for your possessions takes up most of you spare time.
Spiritual growth needs time to reflect on your life and if that is too painful for you you may feel your life with objects or even having more children simply to fill your up and not to feel the dreadful pain of the emptiness. So it’s clearly going to be difficult to do this but you will get rewards of space and time. You can’t buy those with money
To fulminate against the hands of fate To vent our anger on sweet beloved friends Will not repair our ills and our mistakes But may bring friendships to a bitter end. For who are we to know what is the best? Who are we to choose when loved ones die? And do not think this is a needed test. As if on us God wastes his time to spy. Once we were a joining of two cells The lively sperm, a salmon riding high. The egg awaiting without a need for bells Is fertilised and grows that which shall die. Astonishing that we should live at all. Unsurprising, that a loved one falls
For someone non-existent God has power To wreck the world he learns from every hour. He is not here or there or where at all And yet we do have evidence of Fall.
Why must men be angry as they boast, They can prove there is no Holy Ghost? No benediction, blessing, nothing good No meaning, nothing sacred, never Love.
For who is zero, who’s in the empty set? God seems ever harder to forget Men argue with red cheeks and suffer strokes While God sits back, enjoys an evening smoke.
While Nothing shall remain and nausea sighs Let’s enjoy the madness and the lies.
Please make your will before leaving the restaurant.
Are the gunmen just outside the door?
2
I can’t wait to get married. Paying bills, worrying about the mortgage or rent. Doing the washing and ironing men shirts. Wondering if we can afford hot water. Ditto children.
Being too worried to feel desire lust or greed I need to see a psychotherapist. Is there an open air zoo where I can see them in their natural habitat ?
3
I would like to seek asylum
Where are all those old mental hospitals that you could live in for years free of charge and that’s what you’ll be like after you have had ECT. It doesn’t charge you up.
Please play before parking your car Don’t go home without your dripping Please use a different credit marred Please be police to other passengers on this plane Do as you would be stunned by Don’t be anti-specific in this Motel Keep Britain Pernicious Are you a Fascist? Free tuition in the UK Please drive your car to the Brexit gate before decaying Keep your seat polished in Church Don’t leave the IOU today Johnson said, “what EU” to my cat The Sermon on our doubt Are you racist about God? What a Gnostic! It’s Greek to me.Gnow,gnow. The Church of England is praying in Europe this week Leave the memories be kind My sister likes to pray on her piano every day What’s on the TV? Just the cat I’m afraid. Income Tax goes out! You can’t fool glee.
How my heart speaks 