He who has ears to hear let him hear

I believe that’s a quotation from the New testament and of course many of our sayings do come from the Bible and then from the works of Shakespeare and then from other great poets and writers.

But what what does this saying mean?

Everybody is born with hearing via their ears but this saying seems to be implying that there’s some other kind of hearing that not everybody attains.

So it doesn’t matter how wonderful a speech someone makes nor what’s an interesting conversation a friend is trying to have with you if you don’t have the right kind of hearing. And this involves a lot more than just the ears then what they’re saying is lost on you.

Because the senses don’t act independently and when you’re talking to someone it’s not just the words that you’re saying but they are reading your face and your eyes. They are reading your bodily movements.

This is where there could be problems for some of us if we are not familiar with understanding people’s faces and knowing their emotions and so on.

I’m sure you’ve heard the expression

I could read him like a book

So there are different sorts of seeing and hearing probably far more than I would know about. So you may have eyes and ears that function normally but it is hard to learn how to hear and to see more deeply and more sensitively and not all of us achieve this. Because we we don’t know what we don’t know, if you see what I mean.

It reminds me of a young man proposing to a woman he loves but she remains

Deaf to his entreaties

Similarly Audi self might send us messages about the deeper needs of our self. But we may not hear these we may not notice anything.

How do we learn to hear?

It’s partly through contact with other people and through school,studying works of art and literature.

Maybe some people are more likely to notice these things.

If you’re living in a very unsafe country then you don’t have any space in your mind or how to take in more than what’s essential.

But it’s interesting there is always more to see a more to hear a more to learn if we learn how to be open to it

This is another say8ng6 of my mother. I think the meaning is obvious.

And moving from what happens in the UK into what happens to people in other countries it’s obvious that in many countries it really is true that many people live on the verge of start version

27 years ago the chancellor Gordon Brown introduced the winter fuel allowance for pensioners. This amounted to £200  for a person under 80 and £300 for those above 80.

Assumption is that many pensioners cant afford to pay their heating bills.

Our new government announced recently that this payment is going to be abolished and it’s causing a lot of controversy.

But I think a lot of people can’t afford to heat their homes to an ideal level

And who decides on that level? If you are over 70 it is recommended your home is heated to at least 18 C but there is no recommendation for the average person although it’s obvious that babies and young children will need warm bedrooms.

I think the right wing press are using this issue to attack the government an exaggerating the effect of the cut but on the other hand I’ve already said that I think it’s a mistake owing to a lack of imagination.

Even with this payment many pensioners will be afraid of the winter.

Food has gone a lot more expensive than it was before the pandemic. Brexit has probably influenced that

The mood in the country is poor many people feel very angry and unhappy.

So is it right that some people are paid very low wages waste is not possible to heat the home or eat the food that’s most desirable?

There are two main definitions of poverty in Britain. There is absolute poverty which means that you can’t eat properly buy suitable clothing and keep your home warm.

You may not have a home if you’re living in absolute poverty.

Then there is relative poverty. This means that you cannot afford things which are regarded as important by most people. You can only buy what’s essential and you may not be able to afford to buy your children a computer or a smartphone. You may not be able to dress in the way that you would like or the same applying to your children, I’m not sure where to place a problem of you can’t afford enough beds for your family so several children are sleeping in one bed or even sleeping on a chair, that sounds like absolute poverty but people in that position are not usually helped by the government or the local authority.

It’s been reported that school teachers are buying clothes for children or taking in food to give them breakfast and some teachers are providing laundry services for children’s school uniforms. This seems to happen when someone’s washing machine breaks down and they can’t afford to replace it

And taking a lot of close to the laundrette to wash is expensive. That is it’s expensive for the poor as the wealthy and the middle income people would be able to use a launderette if they wanted to.

So what indeed is essential. And what is a luxury?

I wonder whether anybody ever thinks about this in the government.

My grandfather was a coal miner for 50 years but I never heard him complain. I suppose his neighbours and relatives were in the same position and nobody had more heating than a coal fire in the living room. The rest of the house was not heated unless somebody was ill when possibly you might have a paraffin heater in the bedroom.

I can remember having a high temperature and lying in my mother’s bed with a Tilley lamp warming the room.

As I was delirious it seem to take on a threatening sound  so I lay there frightened

I can’t remember whether the room felt warm.

So people didn’t expect much. no there is more knowledge and more awareness of what other people are earning and  how they live. That makes it harder for the poor

Why do we have an appendix just like the Oxford dictionary and does this mean that I am a dictionary?

Aristotle invented logic but wouldn’t you have to know what it was before you could invent it?

The truth must have been that Aristotle gave a name to a certain use of language which already existed.

It seems very simple as in the argument

If all  A are B

And if this is an A

Then it must be a B.

It doesn’t seem very productive does it?

I am jealous of the Greeks because they could invent things that were quite simple since nothing else have been invented previously or at least nothing else have been given a name

So in a sense they were like gods because God invented the world or by naming the different parts.

So naming is extremely important

I’m frequently impressed when I remember sayings adages, things my mother used to say which are often related to bodily states

When I couldn’t find my glasses I was searching nervously or frantically and only found them when I gave up…..

I remembered my mother saying

You can’t see, for looking.

This is very interesting because like language itself and the developments from it these are coming from the lips of ordinary People. And they’re recognisinhg something which is only in the last hundred years been scientifically described I believe.

There are two kinds of seeing

Very focussed seeing.. narrow purposive vision… This is when we’ve got some thing which our mind is pinned on to and we ignore everything else apart from that very narrow bit of the world that we see very intently. We can also switch into this when we’re under stress, severe stress sometimes.

Then there is the way that the owl must look when it is looking from the tree for something to eat

Wide vision where you’re not focusing sharply on any individual spot in the landscape but your eyes widened and you’re scanning the whole at once. When the owl sees something then he or she must switch into the sharply focused mode and swoop down to catch the little beast that was spotted so the owl could have something to eat

I think artists also will be familiar with this. The eye muscles have to be relaxed which  will happen spontaneously when necessary or sometimes you can do it deliberately. There are breathing techniques and relaxation techniques which can switch into this mode

Going back to the adage

You can’t see for looking.

See refers to broad vision with the eye muscles relaxed

And ,cleverly, looking refers to sharply focused vision

So if you’re looking too hard you can’t see

Well it took me 48 hours to find my glasses

I had taken them off in my bedroom to put some sunscreen on my face and then I couldn’t find them

I was looking in the bedroom for them

But when I found them they were downstairs in the sitting room

I wasn’t even trying to find them them and I’d given up completely

My old ones are adequate for most purposes but nevertheless if you if you wear glasses you know that having the ones you’re used to especially for reading is really very important and some of us feel incomplete without them.

I’m always grateful when I find something and I often look up at the sky and say

Thank you.

And thank you to all those human beings that came before us and left us wisdom in these sayings. And this was long before they were schools and universities and other learning organizations.

I sometimes think that we are getting less intelligence as time goes on.

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The prophet Elijah heard the still small voice when he was hiding in a cave on top of Mount Sinai

This was during the iron age which is a long time ago.

But when I was thinking about the story one day I suddenly felt a strong kinship with this person who is on the mountain fleeing from Queen Jezebel who wanted to kill him and then he heard the voice of God speaking to him but it was not a strong or violent or  loud voice. No only when the tempest had gone and the fires had gone and everything was quiet that he heard the still small voice which is sometimes translated as a whisper.

I am not particularly religious in the conventional sense but ever since I heard this story possibly when I was a child I’ve always liked the idea because I think when we create things or when we looking for answers to a problem we often have to be patient and quiet so that we can hear this little voice inside us and I don’t think it’s just  the voice of conscience. I think it’s the Voice of creativity

When someone is brought up in a very religious home  it is quite frequent that they have a cruel conscience.

And one which does not whisper but shouts at them if they do the slightest thing wrong that they’re become afraid they’re going to go to hell and are very frightened

That kind of a conscience does not lead to creativity.

Because there’s another voice inside us just as there are other voices in our dreams and our day dreams. Are these little whispers helpful ideas or guidance on the path we are following that’s what I think they are.

But there is one important condition… that if we use them for egocentric purposes that the result will be no good. In other words the condition is selflessness. Just not egocentric if we can manage that but we can try not to do it things purely for self gratification or to become famous or wealthy or dominating

Our world is very noisy now ;once I went into a hairdressers and it was very quiet and peaceful so I was pleased but while my hair was being done the hairdresser apologised for the lack of music because something was broken in their system. When I said I preferred it like that she was very surprised.

It’s almost as if we’re trying to drown out the voice of God or whatever you like to interpret these things as.

And when we are alone we put the radio on or the television or we look on the computer for something to interest us.

I wonder how if we’re starting from the beginning how would we be able to encourage our inner self and begin to develop this little voice which helps us and to learn to hear it when it speaks. And although it’s quiet like a whisper it doesn’t mean it’s not important.

But it’s not going to use force on you because if you’re forced to do something or to listen to something you do not wish to cooperate. I would say that’s true for the majority of people. But if someone whispered the suggestion in your ear you’re much more likely to pay attention and to think about it as long as you’ve got a bit of time and space

And that’s the problem now for many people just trying to get a house pay the rent or more with have enough money for food and build and to encourage your children it’s very difficult even with our modern conveniences

Expect you’ve noticed that once we get a new machine like a washing machine instead of using it to help us we create more work by deciding that we can wash everyone’s clothes more frequently and that will take up the time that you saved

We have to keep some of that time for ourself even if other people think we’re being selfish. It may only be half an hour. But if we have half an hour every day quietly listening and waiting gradually we will change and notice things that we didn’t notice before.

This is what I have come to believe over the years and I have come across other people with the same perception.

It won’t make you famous or rich but it might make you more happy than you were or you may feel that you have to do something that might be difficult but that is your journey that is your vocation

Probably you won’t be happy unless you do that. But everybody’s got to find their own way. So if you don’t like what I say or you disagree with me that is very good.

Our opponents are our co-creators.

I’m not sure who said that but I think there’s a lot of truth in it.

Our opponents are not enemies.

I wish that more people believed that

My dear sister was sometimes critical of me because I have a lot of books. When I was ill someone decided to tidy it up and took my books out of the bookshelves: put them into boxes in a different room and told me,Your sitting room looks a lot better now that it’s  in order. Then I was very distressed even angry. I couldn’t find anything.

That’s the conventional view that a room which is half empty with polished furniture and neat sofas and chairs is the perfect home however order to me is not about constant tidying up to the extent that you are not allowed to eat drink or almost breathe in someone’s living room because they’ve just cleaned it.

And of course I knew where all my books were and I knew where all  my art books were

And I knew where the cookery boots were as well but it’s taken me a long time to find the books I need again.

I’m not finished the job yet.

So the deeper sort of order  is where the owner of the room or the house has an internal map of where everything is which may not be apparent to a stranger or even to a sister.

Interestingly, there is an article today in some of the newspapers saying that experts have found that the desire for total orderliness and minimalism is driving some people crazy when they’re already busy with looking after their family working in a demanding job or a boring job or tiring job.

Because being judged is very painful and if you feel that everybody who comes to visit you is going to judge you on the number of possessions you have and the state of your house then you won’t be able to relax and enjoy  their company

I expect one should follow the rule of

Do not take it personally

Yes we need a certain amount of order of the traditional kind. We need to wash our clothes we need to cook and wash up we need to make beds even to change the sheets but where’d you draw the line,?

I must confess that I was shocked when I was a student living in a bed sitter when one of my friends said she only changed sheets once a month.

At that point I was still doing what my mother did which was changing one sheet following the rule of top to bottom. As I got older and more tired and realized that if you are a clean person you might not need to change your sheets every week then that’s what I did… change them once a fortnight. And it’s nice to have clean sheets. So it’s a pleasure which might be worthwhile doing more frequently as long as it doesn’t make you ill and tired

In any case all the cleaning and tidying and washing used to be regarded as women’s work and of no value.

But in fact this work is of value despite my criticism of people who are over orderly and over  clean.

As I said to my sister,

A rich person like the author Michael Frayne can afford a big house with lots of bookshelves and so tidiness to some extent is linked with money

For older people and  thisr with asthma and other chronic conditions it may be very important to have a dust free and very clean home.

But it should not be regarded as a moral necessity.

I don’t know why some people feel impelled to judge others constantly.

Someone in my family criticizes another person if they get new furniture but really it wasn’t their business

It wasn’t causing any trouble financially so if this person wanted to have any furniture every five years or 10 years rather than waiing till it fell apart then to me that seemed a reasonable choice because life is not very long and if you don’t like your furniture to get worn out and dirty and you want to get a new sofa or whatever that is your choice and you are entitled to it if you can afford it. And that’s one of the problems about poverty that peopke are not only short of food and heating bills are frightening but also they they have no choice about whether they want a new bed or a fridge or freezer because they can’t afford it anywhere even if it’s necessary.

There’s a lot of pain in being poor and it is not acknowledged by many of us. And it’s not surprising that mental illness is more common in the poor.

And if you were a powerful person people will not criticize you for being untidy because they’ll be frightened or you.

Still I would not wish to live the way that I the philosopher and novelist Iris Murdoch lived because you have to recognize that if your floor is covered in rubbish you are at risk of getting rodents etc

So I’m not advocating for complete ignoring of dirt and mess but saying that having a few piles of books in your living room it’s not really something to be ashamed of.

If I went into a room like that I would long to look at the books and be interested in the person.

I suppose wevwomen don’t always 1 realise what stress we are suffering instead we feel guilty because our home is not perfect like the ones on the television programs we’ve been having recently.

Since my home was tidied I found it much harder to write because my hands reach out for a book in a shelf but it’s not there. I spend time trying to find it and its fellow books which used to be so near me all the time.

If you want to help another person don’t assume that they want their house to be tidy in the way your house is tidy. That they want all their kitchen utensils in a jug on the windowsill because what looks disorderly to one person is actually the order of somebody else. That’s somebody else is different from you. That they are entitled to their own way of life

And also you may need to tell them that you cannot just borrow books from the public library because they do not have books that are only readable by a small group of people about things like philosophy history poetry music art. It’s become even more true in recent years when governments have cut back on money and the local council is running out of money and so they closed the libraries or they buy fewer books.

And if you want the book as a reference book as you might do if you are a writer or an academic or an artist then borrowing it from the public library is not really sufficient. That’s why people steal sometimes. And that’s selfish but on the other hand is understandable if you can’t afford to buy something that you really need badly.

Extract from the book by Marion Milner

An experiment in leisure

But if man’s salvation depended on his capacity to see the facts, both about himself and the outside world, and if the poets were the pioneers in this, what were the conditions under which poetry could grow? For a long time I had been puzzled by the continual recurrence of images from the Bible in my thinking. Then I find this note in my diary: Just supposing this is what the Gospel story is partly about? All this year it’s been growing in my mind, the possibility that the Gospel story is concerned, not with morals at all, not with what one OUGHT to do, because someone (God, father). expects it of you, but with practical rules for creative thinking, a handbook for the process of perceiving the facts of one’s own experience – and, of course, in this sense, with ‘salvation’, for it is ignorance and blindness which lead to the City of Destruction. And the central truth, is it that only by a repeated giving up of every kind of purpose, plunging into the void, voluntary dying upon the cross, can the human spirit grow, and achieve those progressive fusings of isolated bits of experience which we call wisdom, truth?

Why did Jesus walk on the water?

To escape from the quicksands

Why did Jesus feed the 5,000?

That was the biggest number they could think of when writing the New Testament

Why did Jesus cross the road?

Because the other side was flatter.

Why do we learn arithmetic in school?

Because it would be boring in school with nothing to do

Why do we have to learn to read in school?

So you can go on the internet on your phone and get into trouble arguing on political forums.

Who could have been the first person who learned to read?

It must have been the first person who invented writing because until there was writing there couldn’t be any reading

Did Adam and Eve have a library?

Nobody could read what God had written.

Did Cain and Abel go to a comprehensive school?

Well it didn’t teach comprehensive morals did it?

What would God think of  VAT on private school fees?

Jesus didn’t need to go to school.

Why are rich people averse to paying more tax?

Because they don’t want to get through the eye of the needle.

If you are forced to give money to the poor it’s not an act of virtue.

Well it still helps the poor though.

It’s not the winter fuel allowance,it’s the disparity between the rich and the poor.

Many people are criticizing the government for deciding to stop paying this extra two or three hundred pounds once a year to pensioners.

Some of the more right-wing newspapers are publishing pathetic stories about old people probably dying of Cancer or other diseases who will be badly affected by losing 200 pounds a year.

But nobody mentions the fact that they enormous gap now in this country between the rich and the poor it’s got wider under the conservative government. And there are many people but elderly and young and middle aged who are very poor and cannot afford enough heating in the winter.

If there was more equality of income and in particular less gigantic bonuses for people at the top of companies such as water and electricity and so on then nobody would need the winter fuel allowance. And if you are a really poor pensioner then even

£ 200  extra is not sufficient to pay to heat even a small flat for the long British winter

But of course it is an error by this government because it can make headlines.

It seems to be a lack of imagination, did they not realize how the right wing press would use this?

I hope this is not a sign of some weakness of imagination and some lack of intelligent thought about how such decisions will play out in public.

We dont want the prople at the bottom of my society to suffer like they did when the cConservatives won the election and defeated Gordon brown. Too much suffering already.

So I am glad that we’ve got a new government of a different sort but I hope they will be able to take advice about choosing rightly how to get more money to do what needs to be done.

My heart is like a rowing boat adrift
Whose occupant has fallen overboard
The empty vessel drifts through deep sea mist.
And in those pearl filled ears the deep sea roars.
Just as the boat drifts mapless,so do I.
My maps were drawn for quite another sea
My captain’s taken leave and now I cry
As if that drowned soul might just be me.
Yet on the sea bed mysteries abound;
Such wonders and such magic there displayed.
I wonder if it is my lot drown
And to a memory then quickly fade.
Maps are no more certainties than hints.
Between the lines hides gold from other mints.

When Jesus was in the garden of gethsemena

He wanted some companion during the night but nobody was able to be with him.

I’m sure that some of us have had a similar experience.

So would a helper have said to Jesus

Why don’t you listen to some music I know the radio has not been invented yet but you are God…. So make yourself a radio and listen to music

Why don’t you turn your mind away from fear of death  I’m thinking about signing up for an art class,myself.

I know that Jews can’t worship images but there’s no harm in making some images was paint or pastels.

It might lift your mood..

Now Jesus, have you drunk enough water today? Have you had a proper meal?

(Well they had the last supper I believe.)

Don’t you think we should all go home and go to bed and have a good rest and forget about this event that’s going to happen?

Now Jesus what you need is a good holiday.

You know it’s not so far to Cyprus and it would be a break from living in this occupied territory.

The Romans have a lot to answer for.

And would Jesus have lost his temper and called out to the  disciples

Satan get thee hence.

Then somebody will just say, if you feel bad at three o’clock in the morning it’s often a sign of depression and I believe there are some new antidepressants on the market now.

Why don’t you see the doctor tomorrow and ask him can you have a free sample because there is no NHS in the holy land.

And that’s why Jesus stayed in the Garden of Gethsemane by himself because he did not like what his followers were saying to him. And it was all because they didn’t want to actually know how he was feeling: that he was sweating blood that he was afraid that he was terrified but he was going to continue on the path that he believed God had set him on.

And after all he was the son of God. So he believed and there is some evidence to favor that view.

And thus it did transpire

Mary was in the hall watering her rose scented geranium; she decided to move it into the kitchen as the hall might be a little too drafty.Mary was very anxious to make sure that this plant survived because it was a present from her cousin.
Suddenly the phone rang. perhaps it is Annie wanting to go out on some Christmas shopping expedition ,but no it was Mary’s cousin Bob who she knew had been very ill and although he seems to be recovering she knew he was quite anxious about dying
His voice was very faint and weak. Perhaps he is going to die, she thought. he does seemed to be frightened .

Do not be afraid.God is waiting for you and he knows everything
,He knows how you looked after your sister when she had a breakdown and how you used to change the curtains and make the room look beautiful to try to help her and yet she did not thank you .She was very unpleasant but you never gave up ; eventually when she died during her sleep it was both a relief and a loss
God remembers everything and he is full of love for you . I do not know why God allows some people to suffer so much[ which is a constant theme in human thinking since the book of Job was written.]
Now, I don’t say that you are Job ,but I do know what you have endured. I have seen you being humbled in cruel ways, I have seen you being ignored when you knew much more than the people who were talking
You cared your your cat with utmost kindness until it recovered from its ill-treatment at those nasty neighbours of yours.
You have suffered too through cancer and not being able to eat foods that you liked but you have recovered. You have worked in your garden and grown beautiful flowers and vegetables Your fruit trees have been v productive and your whole garden is a testament to the fact that you love every living being, except your brother David, of course.,
There’s always trouble in that kind of set up when the mother prefers one child to another and it has been a constant torment to you throughout your life. I have noticed since you have both been older. you seem to have a more productive life now and I know you make wine and jam and mend all you can
I know that you did win an award when you were in your 20s for your research although you never told anybody. I wonder why you were so shy about telling people. You never did like to boast and I think I am similar to you.
I let Stan have his mistress next door because I know that not every man is interested in Wittgenstein especially when it’s his wife who wants to talk about him when he wants to take her to bed and enjoy her charms, tickle her and laugh merrily and I only wish that you had been able to meet someone yourself who would have valued you as a human being and felt warmth and attraction as well.
I do think you tried to make the most of your capabilities limited as we are by economic,health and political factors alas
Bob said to Mary :you have made me very happy
2 Days Later Mary heard that Bob was much better and the doctor says he will soon be home again
What a disappointment for God meowed Emile, Mary’s little cat. God got everything ready
Well no doubt God had some help,. Mary cried., that’s what I need . need some help ;this house is in a terrible mess as if my fate is to constantly keep trying to tidy up and yet the next day I have to start all over again.
I don’t mind cried Emile I think it’s wonderful I like a mess it makes me feel like playing more and having fun but when it’s all tidy and clean I feel terribly inhibited
Good grief Emile, you sound as if you’ve been to Oxford.
I did once to go on a day trip to Oxford, the the cat confessed .Annie took me in her handbag on a coach
Well all I can say is ,she must have got a very big handbag
Don’t be so rude Emile told her, you have got some big handbags and you’ve got about 50 handbags in the wardrobe even now when you are a widow
That is a woman’s privilege Mary told him like getting a new hat is Easter; a handbag is a very important thing because it enables men to make their wives carry all their wallets and keys so that they could have fun when they went to the seaside
Yes I can remember mother struggling along from Blackpool North station to the beach with a gigantic handbag and a shopping bag full of sandwiches while everybody else ran on in front of her
I don’t know what we saw in Blackpool except the sea; the beach was so crowded you could hardly see the sand.
I guess the airwas cleaner, the cat informed her in a manly way

I think I need a cup of tea said Mary go and get Annie.
She won’t make the tea
No but she can drink some with me while I tell her all my thoughts and my feelings and I couldn’t free associate while she showed off her new makeup and jewellery and her strangely coloured Christmas outfits.She is off to Wigan to visit the make up factory next week.If only it were in Southport I’d go too.
Well I’m in love with Annie. I wish I was a man so I could marry her and make it home for her
I’m sure you would have made a very good husband said Mary but God wants you to be a cat although you are a rather extraordinary cat and it is my good luck to be your owner or shall I say your mistress?
Aand so ask all of us

Mary wants to throw out her furnitureMary picked up her mobile phone to ring for a cab..On it,there was a message
.You have missed a call from home.Mary shivered.
Has Stan come back?
Then she recalled she had rung her own mobile before coming out.Her mind sagged like a sheet of rubber suspended between four tall trees in the jungle..
Hello,It’s Mrs Tan.Can you do a me cab from the dental surgery to my home? It’s right by the doctor’s surgery.
She stepped outside into the warm air which felt like a caress on her poor numb face.
When she got home she found Annie in the kitchen looking at her collection of cookery books.
Do you want to get rid of any of these, her friend queried.
I am thinking of learning some new recipes so I can invite those awful therapists across the road for dinner.But I have to be sure that what I serve has no hidden meaning especially aggressive or sexual.
Well,Mary said,don’t you think that people differ in what they find sexual?
Beats me,said Annie meaningfully.I fancy doing beef in beer with French bread and mustard baked on the top.
I used to do that,Mary said.Why did we stop doing that cooking? Penguin brought a new book every month.I have most of them and ,at the weekend, I’d study them for ages looking for things like apple mousse and different stews.
When we first got married I used a kind of cheap women’s magazine approach and most often as a pudding I did tinned peaches with cinnamon sprinkled on grilled till hot and spicy.Eventually, Stan got fed up with it and so I got into cordon bleu and using real cream not Carnation milk
Her blue eyes gleamed in excitement and were rendered even more remarkable by the teal and turquoise eye shadow Annie had forced her to wear which matched the sea blue mascara she already had.Annie said.
it will be good for us both to meet new people especially educated ones
Mary disagreed.I like ordinary people because a certain amount of education makes some people very conceited and only real scholars or mystics realise that the more we know the more we realise our own ignorance.Will such folk like makeup?
Perhaps one of the psychoanalysts will be a mystic,Annie retorted loudly.
But would such a person want to visit us? Mary bleated childishly.
Why not? They have to eat and they may need a new love interest or someone sympathetic who will know how hard their job is.Someone like me,beautiful funny and willing to look after a man when he needs it.
How about a man who might look after you,Mary said brightly
Well,it’s not quite the same.I like looking after men whereas you prefer reading about Fourier series and infinite integrals.And knitting patterns,she added hastily as if omitting that interest would severely anger Mary.
I think we’ll invite two men and two women ,all single.They can bring their cats for Emile to play with if they want.And we’ll eat in the kitchen to make it more relaxed.
Thank God,said Mary as the dining room was full of paper and books.
Why don’t I have a study,she pondered.Or ,if I slept in the dining room, my bedroom has a lovely view and I have an old desk somewhere.
Mary ,in her younger days, had often moved the furniture around and had even slept on a camp bed on the lawn one summer but she no longer did this as looking after Stan had worn her down to a shred of her former self.
But beds do take up so much room.Without them ,the house would be quite spacious.And how about tables and chairs… her mind ran on as she quite fancied a new start without moving house.
With fewer clothes ,she could ditch a wardrobe… on the other hand ,she could not afford such quality clothes again on her widow’s pension. clothrs
To think she might have to stop wear Bowlands of Wrath was a rather painful thought.Still most of humanity have got hardly anything so maybe Mary will think more deeply about donating some to Oxfam.
Suddenly the doorbell rang.Dave the paramedic was outside
Are you both ok?I’ve not heard from you lately,he remarked as he powdered his nose.
Well,I do have an old desk that you can carry upstairs for me,Mary told him thoughtfully.Then we need the floor scrubbing.I’m sure the NHS will pay.After all dirt might make us ill!
And so pray all of us

Every word has power to wound or heal.

Do not speak with malice to your foe

Every word can influence how we feel.

If your heart is evil, keep lips sealed

Malicious speech will make our friends feel low

Every word has power to wound or heal

Words like bullets show the power you wield

Don’t  make a sentence like a heavy  blow

Every word will influence how we feel.

Reflection of itself can be a shield.

Like a mirror acts with objects real

Every word has power to maim or heal

If there is no arrow,there’s no bow

Pluck my heartstrings now,and sing for more.

Every word has power to wound or heal

How we speak determines how life feels

Yes I’ll make glowing skin an important part of my summer

I’ll go to the Sinai desert, maybe I’ll do some sightseeing. What is the name of the mountain there?

Who wrote that book  Eyeless in Gaza?

He was psychic.

Not just Eyeless either.

Perhaps you’d like to see Abraham’s tomb,  hesitate it’s in Samaria now or is it Judea?

Let’s not worry about where it is as long as they sell ice cream and you don’t have to queue for too long

Will they have a public convenience there?

With  the army and the drones we’ll be wetting ourselves.

Will we be able to get holiday insurance do you think?

I would like to see the sea of Galilee and I’d like to see somebody walking on the water preferably Jesus Christ. But he’s not for hire. They could get an actor but could anyone teach him how to walk on water if he is not the son of God,?

Well going to a hot desert will make your skin glow for sure and if you get too near the fighting it won’t just be your skin that’s glowing

If you’re depressed the shock might do you good and you would then like to come back to England and find that we’ve only had a few street riots and children being killed in a dancing class. And somebody dying lying on the floor in A&E underneath her coat.

The staff said that thought she was a homeless person having a rest but they did not check up when she did not answer her name three times. So it’s a good idea to get some very expensive clothing before you go to A&d and maybe a golf necklace and a diamond tiara. But even then they probably say thought it was artificial and that you’ve bought it in Woolworths in their closing down sale in 1931.

No answer to this I’m afraid there’s no answer

A unique achievement is never happened before. Make a film about it perhaps they would like to make a film because I spent 72 Hours in A&E in the last nine months and believe me  it’s not easy

Although inject you with morphine can you believe it and it’s free all you have to do is break your wrist and catch a serious disease

Now the prime minister is trying to work up a bit of fuss by taking away the winter fuel allowance from the elderly or most of the elderly. Those who  are still alive by Xmas.

Well there’s a lot of very intelligent people in the government now but I think there’s a lack of imagination.

It should be obvious to a newborn baby that the right wing press..  were just longing for something like this then they can spend weeks indeed years saying how dreadful this new government is.

I don’t see anyone reading this right wing  newspapers will be so poor that they are entitled to winter fuel alone even now after the government has changed the rules I don’t see many conservatives are living on pension credit and if they are they shouldn’t  be

Where have they hidden their money? And why did people believe them?

Now if I was you I would not go to the sinai desert because there’s a lot of people trying to get in there at the moment. You might get crushed to death which will save you from spending weeks and months in A and E lying on a trolley with nothing to eat or drink

You never know if you don’t get crushed to death and you managed to go into the holy land you might see a Burning Bush. But somehow I don’t think you will hear a still small voice or a whisper because it’s rathervnoisy over there now.

Jesus wept

https://commonslibrary.org/authoritarianism-how-you-know-it-when-you-see-it/

As Mary stood by the fridge at bedtime, a can of fly killer brought by dear Annie fell off the top and struck her red,orange and brown framed spectacles on the top.The heavy can hurt her nose
I hope nobody thinks a man has done this. she said to Emile
Well,I didn’t do it ,he mioawed cheerfully
It must be an Act of God, she mused.I hope there is no bruise
Ah,well.Are you sleeping on my bed,she asked Emile
No,I think I might go out roaming
Looking for frogs,she teased him
I may return, depending on the weather
Suddenly Annie knocked on the door
Are you all right, she asked anxiously?
Why, what is wrong,dear?
Your nose is blue
It’s that fly stuff, it fell onto me!
I’m terribly sorry.We must put it somewhere else.
Choose between me and the flies,Mary joked.
You are my best friend.I will not bring this stuff again
I am off to bed,Mary cried.Let me lock the door behind you
Annie ran out, and stole The Duty of Genius by Ray Monk.She wanted to discover why Mary liked Wittgenstein.And it covers a dangerous and terrible era in human history from the end of several Empires to the Second World War and beyond
I wonder what the children of Dr Mengele and the other dreadful criminals who committed torture and atrocties would feel like when they learned the truth abou their fathers
So Annie is embarking on some serious study while Mary is reading Woman and Home magazine.What is causing this strange change?
In bed ,Mary gazed at an article on ” How to dress well when you are over 80″
Alas all the clothes were expensive.Very
Does it matter what I wear, she pondered?
I suppose people do judge by appearances, she concluded.But which people?
Maybe I shall dress in one colour from now on.But not black.
Blue is a good colour.From now on if I buy new clothese, they must be blue
Maybe just a blue silk scarf is enough to make a vivid impression
Mean while Annie is crying over “The Duty of Genius” because at least two of Wittgenstein’s brothers took their own live and his sisters were almost captured by the Nazis who had to be bought off by the family wealth unlike Freud’s sisters
So what are we complaining about in the UK, she asked herself before saying some almost forgotten prayers.
And wished her husband were there to hold her in his arms.At least one of her husbands would have been most welcome

And so feel all of us

http://query.nytimes.com/gst/fullpage.html?res=9903E7DA1030F935A25752C0A9619C8B63

“Unlike many academic critics who have expended huge amounts of energy on uncovering Eliot’s sources, pointing to obscure allusions that might unlock hidden meanings in the verse, Mr. Raine zeros in on the emotional core of the poems, using his own familiarity with Eliot’s work to give the lay reader a visceral understanding of how the poet came to articulate his ideas and how those ideas evolved over the years.

As a poet himself, Mr. Raine has a practitioner’s understanding of language and rhythm and sound, and he uses this knowledge to convey the beauty and power of Eliot’s verse, and the myriad, subtle ways it works its magic on the reader. He points out how the use of the pedantic word ”therefrom” in ”Gerontion” (”I that was near your heart was removed therefrom ”) functions as a ”tiny cough in ink,” underscoring the narrator’s self-conscious, wallflower personality. And he points out the sexual urgency contained in the ”two adjacent, cunningly unpunctuated, present participles” in these lines from ”The Waste Land”: ”the human engine waits/ Like a taxi throbbing waiting.”

Locating thematic links between masterworks like ”The Waste Land” and lesser-known works like ”Animula,” Mr. Raine does a dexterous job of showing how Eliot developed the idea of ”the buried life.” The two most famous poems to address this theme directly are ”The Hollow Men,” which depicts those gutless, empty souls who, as Mr. Raine puts it, have been rejected by both ”heaven and hell because they have neither sinned nor been actively virtuous,” and ”The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock,” which depicts a sensitive but timid man who has failed to seize the day, who, in Mr. Raine’s words, has resolved ”to remain repressed,” to avoid ”the element of risk that is part of truly living.”

”Animula,” Mr. Raine goes on, similarly depicts ”a psychically damaged, confined soul corroded by its own caution,” while ”Gerontion” is narrated by ”a voluptuary of inaction with an extensive collection of alibis” for his circumscribed life.

As for ”The Waste Land,” the title is itself a reference to the desert — a symbol of aridity, emptiness, the failure of feeling, as these lines from Eliot’s 1934 play ”The Rock” make clear:”

https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/ebb-and-flow/201610/the-power-of-writing-poetry-in-old-age

I’ve lived for 28 months more than you lived for

We can’t give our own life away to someone else

Even if we love them deeply we cannot sacrifice ourselves for them

Because this is not a play that we are in

This is reality, in other words we live and we die.
Since you had children, your death has caused more suffering

More than mine would I think

Butwho said this life was not for suffering?

The man who came to hang the curtains said to me

There’s nothing to say we were put on this earth to be happy

Although it’s possible for some of the time.

It’s possible to be very happy like we were walking on the cliffs near St Margaret’s Bay in Kent

The weather was hot, by the path:there were many tiny wild flowers

But no one goes to Kent for a holiday now.

But we did and we liked to stay in Deal

Outside Walmer Castle

We sat on a bench surrounded by tulips in full bloomA large cat came and jumped onto my husband’s knee

I think  he smelled very nice. But then I would wouldn’t I being his wife?

When he was worried I was say kind things to him like, when in doubt do nowt.

I used to empty his worry bags… when hen he was old and ill. Well it was a game.

Once in the middle of the night he worked me up and said he felt very odd. He said will you read me some of your stories about Emile the cat. So I did and then he went to sleep again

I didn’t think of him as dying. He was always alive to me right to the moment when his heart stopped beating and I saw in my mind’s eye his soul fly up like the lark ascending.

But now I’m alone. Although if you believe in God you are never alone particularly when you are doing something wicked

Does it follow from that that the bad have an advantage God is watching them so much they must feel his eyes upon them and they like it. But maybe they’re making a big mistake.

It’s better to avoid the eye of God I think but just hope that his living hands will hold you up while you’re alive

Is that not a logical deduction?

But we must not take the name of God in vain.

Or only once a week perhaps if that doesn’t offend anyone else

It’s like with my medication I always leave one pill out

It’s good to be the agent in your own life. Just by being disobedient you can win. You can’t obey everything you’re told to do, in my opinion that is

But however strong and beautiful we are we will come to dust one day.

It’s hard indeed to believe that the flowers will bloom and the trees will blossom regardless of our fate.

But it’s really better that way.

It’s a terrible responsibility if you are the center of the universe so be grateful for your humble station That’s what I tell myself every day.

“To be on a level with the dust of the earth that is the supreme virtue”

2 years after my husband died one of my neighbors lost her husband. She was unusually devoted to him because she was born in what was Yugoslavia in 1930 and was brought up on her grandmother’s small farm with one horse to help them.

Later she came to England. She married this very interesting pleasant and intelligent man but unfortunately he died in 2017

She told me about three weeks afterwards because she was unable to speak for a time

And she would come around at odd times.

One winter evening she arrived and she followed me into the sitting room where she stood by the fire.

She would never sit down so I sat down myself

She began to cry

I wasn’t sure what to say but suddenly I found that I was crying as well

Reverse cried for about 15 minutes. Then she dried her eyes. She looks at me and she said, thank you.

Then she left.

So it’s not always necessary to use words.

I suppose the feeling should be genuine

https://davidhume.org/texts/t/2/2/8#:~:text=The%20only%20difference%20betwixt%20these,a%20pleasure%20from%20the%20comparison.

For five months now I have not seen your face

I shall never see you more, we can’t embrace

Your entire being lost, heart   plucked from me.

I do not understand how this can be.

What use to me is my own telephone?

Without your voice I feel  remote, alone

It’s not just being alone that is the pain 

Who can fill the gap, what love remains?

Every person is unique I know

Without you here I feel so very low.

The air itself now shudders as I walk

Without your voice to answer I can’t talk

My sister loving  sister you are gone

Without you on this earth I am noone

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/meme#:~:text=A%20meme%20is%20something%20such,image%20quickly%20became%20a%20meme.