What haunts  me are the quicksands of the soul

What haunts  me are the quicksands of the soul
The heart and mind and body all agree
That I will drown by struggling towards a goal

Apparently, we try to be more whole
But this can only come  by grace  all new
What haunts  me are the quicksands of the soul

It’s best to let go of a hope too cruel
To lie quite still without fear of taboo
Or I will drown by struggling towards a goal.

Opposing all that we learned in our schools,
Where teachers spoke to you and you and you
What taunts  me are the quicksands of the soul

 

The art of living is not found in  rules
But by wandering without any  hint or clue
We can sink by struggling towards a goal.

Though we may use the stars to travel by
The moon is covered by her alibi.
What haunts  me are the quicksands of the soul
Where we may drown by struggling towards a goal

Poem by Anne Sexton

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http://www.inspirationalstories.com/poems/clothes-anne-sexton-poems/
Clothes

Put on a clean shirt
before you die, some Russian said.
Nothing with drool, please,
no egg spots, no blood,
no sweat, no sperm.
You want me clean, God,
so I’ll try to comply.

The hat I was married in,
will it do?
White, broad, fake flowers in a tiny array.
It’s old-fashioned, as stylish as a bedbug,
but is suits to die in something nostalgic.

And I’ll take
my painting shirt
washed over and over of course
spotted with every yellow kitchen I’ve painted.
God, you don’t mind if I bring all my kitchens?
They hold the family laughter and the soup.

For a bra
(need we mention it?),
the padded black one that my lover demeaned
when I took it off.
He said, “Where’d it all go?”

And I’ll take
the maternity skirt of my ninth month,
a window for the love-belly
that let each baby pop out like and apple,
the water breaking in the restaurant,
making a noisy house I’d like to die in.

For underpants I’ll pick white cotton,
the briefs of my childhood,
for it was my mother’s dictum
that nice girls wore only white cotton.
If my mother had lived to see it
she would have put a WANTED sign up in the post office
for the black, the red, the blue I’ve worn.
Still, it would be perfectly fine with me
to die like a nice girl
smelling of Clorox and Duz.
Being sixteen-in-the-pants
I would die full of questions.

Poetry and survival

https://www.theguardian.com/books/2001/may/19/poetry.features

 

Tadeusz Rozewicz reveals to James Hopkins his logic for writing about sperm

Tadeusz Rozewicz likes to tease. At his home in Wroclaw, west Poland, the 80-year-old Polish poet and dramatist tells me that on a visit to Scotland, he saw the Loch Ness monster; he declares that “Harry Potter will make our kids stupid,” and concludes with “I don’t like bad journalists, bad poets, bad painters, bad singers, and bad politicians, the latter inflict most harm. Next to the Germans.” Such statements are always accompanied by a chuckle or a grin, though the last comment betrays something of his past.

Rozewicz is one of Poland’s great post-war poets, and his latest work is now being championed by Seamus Heaney and Tom Paulin. While Nobel prizes went to compatriots, Wislawa Szymborska, for her spirited, idiosyncratic poems, and to Czeslaw Milosz, for his more traditional, neo-classical work, Rozewicz seemed alone in his quest to find a language that could carry the horrors of war.

Born in Radomsko, Poland, in 1921, Rozewicz was a member of the resistance during the second world war, as was his brother who was murdered by the Gestapo in 1944. “I saw people who were brought through the streets on carts,” he explains, “dead bodies, naked bodies – these were Russian prisoners brought out from a German camp.”

In the aftermath, the nascent poet struggled to pick out the words for all he had witnessed. With its notions of beauty and transcendence, Poland’s Romantic heritage was incompatible with the Nazis’ murderous occupation of his country. Perhaps the only poet explicitly to take on Adorno’s famous refutation, Rozewicz writes in “I Did Espy a Marvellous Monster”: at home a task / awaits me: / To create poetry after Auschwitz.

A letter from Button

1,New Rd
Button
Suffolk
IPS0 0NO
UK
Dear Annette
I meant to write before but seeing you kept mentioning rubbish I had wondered if I should prune my blog and leave only the best poems here.However it is hard for me to decide,I don’t even remember many

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I find I have to write a lot of so-so stuff before my mind and heart get working.It’s like exercise.But your letter was so funny,  it cheered me up.What a pity we live so far apart.
I miss getting letters with handwriting on them.Wondering whose it might be etc.Why don’t we do that?
I had problems with my homework too.I decided to do Double Maths at A level as it would not take so much time up and then I could read novels.I didn’t know why or how we should do Lit Crit yet the English teacher cried when I was not down for A level.
I can see now what a blessing it might have been but curiosity also led me into maths as well.To be honest it was somewhat boringly too easy.Ah, well
Life goes so quickly.I’m reading Plath’s Journals and I see how she worried away so much of her time.Too much for girls to decide too rapidly when they are so gifted yet also want a family.And her psychoanalyst was not fully qualified……. dangerous
I feel deprived of her later work yet many girls and boys have learned from it

What a  load of rubbish
Cheers

Mary and Emile and the old robin

Time went by, too swift

The robin gave up waiting for your gifts
The seeded bread and bits of Cheddar cheese
Before I knew that time goes slow yet swift.

The sudden loss creates a fearful rift
Your honeyed skin is not for me to please
The robin gave up waiting for your gifts

How we drove, and I sang, then we kissed
Who’s that knocking on my door, we teased
Before we knew that time goes slow yet swift.

The  face I saw each morning, now I miss
And walking by the lily pond and trees.
The robin gave up waiting for your gifts

In my sense of self, I sense a rift
Like the   absence of the sea from Winchelsea
Before I learned that time goes slow  then swift

Remember that scared skylark  and the bees
The hot cracked earth, dried grass, my memories.
The robin gave up waiting for your gifts
Then I  found that time had gone so swift.

October

O hushed October morning mild,
Thy leaves have ripened to the fall;
Tomorrow’s wind, if it be wild,
Should waste them all.
The crows above the forest call;
Tomorrow they may form and go.
O hushed October morning mild,
Begin the hours of this day slow.
Make the day seem to us less brief.
Hearts not averse to being beguiled,
Beguile us in the way you know.
Release one leaf at break of day;
At noon release another leaf;
One from our trees, one far away.
Retard the sun with gentle mist;
Enchant the land with amethyst.
Slow, slow!
For the grapes’ sake, if they were all,
Whose leaves already are burnt with frost,
Whose clustered fruit must else be lost—
For the grapes’ sake along the wal

Their sorry faces traumatised, undone

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The ghosts of failures past make tears   flow down
They run inside the wrinkles of the skin
The faces of the old and savaged ones.

 

The child teased for her foreign accent frowns.
Does she have the strength of mind within?
The ghost of failure now makes tears   flow down

 

We thought the old were wiser, never conned.
Yet we ourselves we know have thinner skin.
Our faces old and ravaged, tortured ones.

 

For the poor in money, loss abounds
They  blame themselves, they did not  ever win
The ghost of failure past makes tears   flow down

The poor in spirit to their Lord will run
Is this world of terror caused by sin?
Their   sorry faces traumatised, undone

The crucifix will be uncrossed again.
The holocaust in nuclear fires may come
The  salt of failure’s cost make tears  run on
The faces of the living, savaged one

Cured by a radio programme

220px-Simone_Weil_1922

Many  years ago we were going to Norfolk at Easter.We both for flu so were delayed by 4 or 5 days.I still had a very painful throat.On Good Friday there was a programme on about Simone Weil.I don’t know if it was  TV or radio.Anyway, it cured me

The narcissism of small differences

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissism_of_small_differences

 

“The term appeared in Civilization and Its Discontents (1929–30) in relation to the application of the inborn aggression in man to ethnic (and other) conflicts, a process still considered by Freud, at that point, as a convenient and relatively harmless satisfaction of the inclination to aggression.[3] For Lacanians, the concept clearly related to the sphere of the Imaginary: the narcissism of small differences, which situates envy as the decisive element in issues that involve narcissistic image.[4] American psychiatrist Glen O. Gabbard has suggested that Freud’s narcissism of small differences provides a framework to understand that in a loving relationship, there can be a need to find, and even exaggerate, differences in order to preserve a feeling of separateness and self.[5]

In terms of postmodernity, Clive Hazell argues that consumer culture has been seen as predicated on the narcissism of small differences to achieve a superficial sense of one’s own uniqueness, an ersatz sense of otherness which is only a mask for an underlying uniformity and sameness.[6] The phenomenon has been portrayed by the British comedy group Monty Python in their satirical 1979 film Life of Brian and by author Joan Didion in an essay (part of her 1968 book Slouching Towards Bethlehem) about Michael Laski, the founder of the Communist Party USA (Marxist–Leninist).[7]”

God’s not shrunk

genderless

I went into a coffee bar and asked for a black coffee.They said I was a racist
They said I was stupid for wanting an irrational number of cakes.
I went to Burnt Oak to register my husband’s death.Then they had the nerve to ask if I wanted him buried or cremated.
I went to the hospital for an X-ray.They said I didn’t look as if I was 18,I should bring my mother.So I said, with or without the coffin
I wanted a Burning Bush at the funeral but God said he don’t come here anymore.
I offered a lamb chop up as a sacrifice.God said, I may be dead but I’ve not shrunk.
I asked for a toasted beef sandwich but they said it takes too long to toast beef.
We went into a car park but it had very few amusements and no grass.No cars either.
We opened the car door with a coat hanger once when we lost the keys.Now with this electronic system,  what could we use instead?
I rang my own doorbell last night as I felt so lonesome.Then it fell off the door.So I told myself it was lucky I had come by as I knew how to fix it.It’s just glued on like ethics are on politicians.
I saw a spider in the bath so I told it, it can only have 2  baths a week.
My neighbour gave me a blank look.So I filled it with laughter,

The clothes you need

Photo1812
Short trench coat

I have an old book about style and clothes.It was written about 30 years ago.Instead of trying to make us get more and more stuff, the writer claims you can get by on very little.
I pair of trousers and one skirt made of needlecord [For any season]
I trenchcoat
1 blouse and skirt in an Indian print.
Next I’ll write about what she reommends for women

Let go

Photo0061_001
“This guy was climbing a tree when suddenly he slipped, then grabbed at a branch and was hanging there. After an hour or so had passed he felt himself getting exhausted and looked up to the heavens and cried out: “God, help me, please, help me.”
All of a sudden the clouds parted and a voice boomed out from on high. “Let Go!” said the voice.
The guy paused and looked up at heaven once more, then said: “Is there anyone else up there?””

Being fairly clean is enough

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They say the French are the most stylish women

And we should emulate them

But given the lack of time,it might be better to follow

Seven simple rules

1.Get washed and wash your hair

2 Get some decent yet bright underwear

3 Never wear anything too small

4 Never wear anything gigantically big

5.Keep warm in winter with a dashing scarf [ and your clothes of course]

6.Wear a big hat in the summer plus sunscreen

7.Never wear anything that stops you from running ,climbing over fences,riding a bike ot leaping up in joy.

See, it’s easy…….. mainly grooming.What a shame we are not monkeys then we could groom each other.

Dear Mary

genderless
Nuts Cottage
87 Rubbish Walks
Stampedia
North Norfolk
NWe  0MG pi
Dear Mary

How are you getting on with your  new book? Mine is going well as  having grown up doing my homework while my brother played ” The Ride of the Valkyries” full blast, demanded I do his maths homework and Latin I find with the TV on some rubbish programme I can really concentrate well
.On the  other hand I might be writing rubbish.
The main things seems to be to avoid writer’s block.  whereas in the past it was to avoid writing  rubbish,Funny how popular the word rubbish is nowadays.
When we believed in God we had Cathedrals,plainsong and Byrd.Now we have Malls.Coffee Shops and Muzak.And  rubbish.We are rubbish too
Surely to get writer’s block would be an advantage as it would lead to reverie and dreams or maybe going on Tinder and seeing how many people in the town are looking for….Rubbish connections.
My optician said not to go looking for men.With my eyesight I’d no doubt be  chatting up a  traffic cone.I never did know how to flirt or chat up anyone. don’t think that’s  what he meant.Real men don’t like women running after them which is lucky.I can’t run nowadays,. I could limp after one!
He said his mother did get married again but she wasn’t seeking it actively.So she said.Would she have told her son?
Definitely not.Well, that’s my view.Take it or leave it.Agree or argue.Talk or walk.Who can falsify his theory? Popper died.So they say.

I think I must be drunk with happiness.I’ll write again to tell you the plot of my novel.Basically,i t’s total rubbish dressed up with a few sexual innuendos.These days innuendo seems quite out of date.Old fashioned.Like courting and engagement.Now we start in bed and end up in Court.
Well, try phoning me or you’ll keep getting more rubbish letters

Byeee

Annette

All sins are attempts to fill voids.Simone Weil

220px-Simone_Weil_1922

Some are givers, some can only take

My heart  is cracked like almonds are in cakes
Often  they are bought already  ground
I hope that no-one here intends to bake.

I used to see small cakes with almond flakes
In the days of pence, shillings, and pounds
My heart  is cracked like almonds are in cakes

But every heart  has got its  many cracks
Every person suffers from life’s wounds
I hope that noone here intends to bake.

And many hearts have been by fake love  broke
Yet vulnerable and human we resound
We cover up our hearts with a thick cloak

Some are givers, some can only take
Both are needed when we make a friend
I hope that someone here intends to bake.

Some are rigid and can never bend
Some are agile and will always blend
My heart  is cracked like almonds are in cakes
I hope that you won’t  use me if you bake.

Do we laugh at human sacrifice?

Do we laugh at human sacrifice,
Think we are superior,more advanced?
Abraham to offer Isaac was advised
We kill millions, into war entranced

Once it was the king’s beloved son
Who was burned up at the Harvest feast
To placate the gods, and make the crops grow on
Later humans offered a mere beast

We may put one coin into a box
This is not an offering till it hurts
We see no more the sheep and goats in flocks
Abstract living. abstracts less from  purse

Are these Wars a hidden offering?
The best  die as   our demons wildly sing

We turn to lowness   till we are replete

I’ve climbed out of that hole  that gobbled me
But here I stand still looking out for you
I feel myself and so I want to see
The face of my beloved  in my view.

My head turns round as if I am unsure
Who  or what I need to come to me
I    crawled  in mud ,and feared I’d not endure
The climbing and the hopeless victory

I see an empty world except for God
It’s   humans who  are dead,mislaid our souls
God told me I was loved, that I was good
He says he  created humour for the proles

The power of loss is  savage and complete
We turn to lowness   till we are replete

The sins are repetitious,boring foul.

Original sin is making sense to me
As I watch the  News on my TV.
Of course,it’s not original at all
The sins are repetitious,boring foul.

I decided  that this sin’s society’s
Am I  born so evil,is this me?
No,I grew up seeing evil done
By  those with power to own the biggest bomb

Love and power are  intimately  confused
By those who wish to  take you in, to bruise
Those who love, each hope to  let you  be.
They will not impinge on our security

Is the original sin that we exist?
Or that when we’re born,we’re seldom kissed?

 

Every night you’re trying to come home

I wake up warm from dreams ,yet all alone
Every night you’re trying to come home
The shattering loss made splinters  of my bones

Bandaged like a mummy, am I born?
In the dream you hold my hand and run
I wake up from  these anxious  themes alone

I’ve still  got your ashes and the urn,
Where are you and what have  you become?
Your shattering loss  has scattered all my bones

Now I sleep and rest with turned off phones
I  can’t bear impingements,I ache sore.
I wake up from  the anxious dreams   alone

Inside my soul, from Other love I’m torn
Afflicted,disconnected, from my core
The shattering  of my world makes me forlorn

I think I hear your foot step by the door
My heart by a sharp dagger once more gored
I wake up slow from dreams I am alone
The  fearful loss fragmented  my heart’s home.

 

Poetry banned

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https://www.theguardian.com/books/2016/aug/26/rupi-kaur-poetry-canada-instagram-banned-photo

 

“The book was re-released in October 2015. The book climbed bestseller lists, earning Kaur an audience far beyond those she had captured through social media. “Which is so weird,” she says. “How does a 50-year-old white woman relate to this?”

The reach of her writing hit her at a reading in San Francisco last year. As she neared the bookstore she saw a long line that snaked down four blocks and realised the crowd was there to see her. “That was the moment that I was like wow, this is crazy. It’s going to be crazy. It’s been that way since, which is really cool.”

No longer did it feel like she was casting her poetry into the vast online world and waiting to see if anyone would notice. Now it felt like the world was watching as Kaur, the child of Indian immigrants to Canada, sought to find her place using an unconventional recipe of poetry and social media.”

Philip Pullman on writing

http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/1g6rpXFqjcklyq0pwH7GNnV/philip-pullman-s-five-tips-for-writing?intc_type=promo&intc_location=news&intc_campaign=philippullmanwritingtips&intc_linkname=radio4_fac_article

3sepiajpg

 

Ignore the market and write what you want

Publishers will be very keen to tell you to a write specific type of book, namely something similar to the current literary craze or bestseller. Write what you want to write, be the next big thing and not another iteration of a phase that will pass. People don’t know what they want to read until they actually start.

When those we loved

When those we loved are gone into the dark,
From where we come and so will also end;
Then mournful we await a living spark
To light  the fire within and sorrow mend.
Reality is not absorbed  whole;
Though we have seen, we cannot yet believe.
And pain torments our  jagged heart and soul
Until in time the grace  comes to receive.
We must believe that we can bear  this load,
Even when we fall and lie forlorn.
Help may come  or pain may be a goad.
Love may come from those we used to scorn.
To willingly accept  may seem too hard,too grim.
Yet when we do ,the spirit grows within

A struggling iguana gets a ride home

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/10/20/kayaker-saves-life-lost-iguana-swimming-four-miles-sea/

 

“I was coming in from an offshore trip and I noticed a weird shaped object floating in the distance,” he explained.

“All I could see were the multiple fins running down its back so I thought it was some sort of palm frond, but it just didn’t look right. I ended up stopping and noticed that it started swimming.”

The kayaker believes the iguana may have died if he hadn’t bumped into it, explaining, “I have seen plenty swimming around the islands, but never one that far out.

“Most likely, because of the king tides that are occurring it got caught in one of the swift outgoing tides and got pushed out to sea. I was just inside the reef so it was close to four miles from land.

Unexpected

fkower-abstract

When you write you find you are a different person than you believed you were.The topics I find coming up in my poems are worms,dust,earth,ashes,snails,blindness of human beings, humour,funny ideas,creativity,snails,tree roots and  the world we cannot see yet depend on,the value of love,creativity,death,loss

This is not what I expected

The least men are the kindest to the weak

The driver of the  bus lives far away
His home is mobile,but not smart like our phones
He lives in a small caravan, he says
Yet of all the drivers he’s the one.

He always waits till I ,crippled, sit down
Advised me to sit until he stops
He has a smile and rarely makes a frown
Though sometimes in his words some anger’s wrapped.

Alas, he unsurprisingly believes
That all the money goes to foreign folk
By the tabloid press he is deceived
Yet due to pain, his  hidden fires must smoke

The least men are the kindest to the weak
Believe me,I know well what I  here speak