Mary was in her front room looking for the Jewish Cookery book by Penguin.She couldn’t see it,so said to herself,Jesus Christ, you’re losing it,Mary,
As she turned to walk away, the book fell onto her head.
Thank you,Lord, she said in a mildly sarcastic tone of voice.There was no response
She went into the bijou kitchen covered in cerulean blue tiles by her late husband Stan, while he was still in this world.
Why not make a cup of tea, she asked herself politely
Just then the back door opened and her neighbour Annie ran in.She was dressed in indigo and green striped trousers with a scarlet top and scarf.
Her face glowed with Avenue Oat and Lentil CC moisturiser with sunscreen and she had green mascara on her eyelashes from Rive Sans Torrent de Paris and Bruxelles. which matched her trainers and her eye glasses.
May I have tea? she said shyly.I‘ve just been to my English Grammar lesson
Yes,you will be very welcome,Mary said.But why bother now to learn the difference between MAY I and CAN I?
I feel better if I am more confident,Annie said.And the tutor is very handsome
Is it a man? Mary asked
That seems grammatically erroneous.IT refers to a non-human object
What should I say? Is she a man, is he a man,are they a man,is that a man? Mary wondered.
Well, they could even be something else,Annie told her
Don’t say any more or Jordan Peterson will be here shouting at you
I am puzzled by him,Mary said.He said he was a therapist but his voice is not very mellifluous and you’d have to be careful what you said to him.
Like, you hate housework and prefer to try to solve Fermat’s Last Theorem? Annie whispered nervously
Well,yes, but with a therapist you need to be relaxed and say whatever comes into your head,like Canadians were redeemed by St.Eliezer a Cohen,usually referred to as Leonard but I can’t see JP getting on with him Leonard loved women but he was never actually married legally.JP would hate him.
He looks very cross and annoyed despite a marriage and family.I wonder if he helps his wife to cook the dinner,Annie pondered
Not likely, Mary said as she looked through her Jewish cookery book.
I might make a cheesecake tomorrow, she cried.I need a new recipe as I’ve met a man online and we are taking a picnic to the Park.
Are you sure, he/it/they is/are a man? Annie said politely
How can one be now,said Mary.I suppose he/they want to pass as a man but I hope he is a biological man if we are to marry.
He might be gay,Annie told her
Then why would he ask me out?
Because he is a mathematician and he wants to discuss surreal numbers,Annie giggled
Would you join SoulMates and pay a fee just to talk about those? Mary replied in a puzzled way.
I guess it’s cheaper than taking a train to Oxford and sneaking into the Maths Institute,Annie informed her.
OK,I shall bear that in mind.What shall I wear?
In the park you might sit on the grass so wear some thick trousers and a wool sweater
I won’t look very charming in those,Mary said furtively, afraid Emile her cat might get angry if he knew she was dating a new man.
Can’t I wear a red dress with flowers all over and a yellow hat?
You CAN…. but is it WISE? Yellow attracts insects
Well,Mary said,I don’t mind what they are,I just want SOMEONE or SOMETHING to be attracted to me.
And so say all of us.Except Emile

O

Wider than a star

The mind is deeper than a well and wider than a star
I lose myself in waters deep ,symbolic ,sweet and clear
I rest embraced by this love and wish for nothing more
I dream I walk in meadows sweet
The daisies in my hair

The heart has reasons and desires as if it were a mind
If it’s soft as cashmere wool then it will remain kind
Yet if it’s hard then it may crack and we will split ,divide
I dream I walk by river fleet
With heart and mind combined

The other self that dwells alone in privacy divine
Needs sacred care and sweet respect and peace from what’s malign
The inner nature of us all is given and then transformed
I dream I walk on long white sands
By seas. blue, crystalline

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/mar/30/the-men-who-give-up-on-their-spouses-when-they-have-cancer?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

Annie and Mary I decided they must go back to Rose house before they return home.

How to ring the bell because the door was not left open n caset any of these imprisoned old people who wish to escape and run to the bus stop just outside. It was probably a mistake to have a care home so near to the bus stop.

Maggie was pleased to see them and ask for a cup of tea but the carer said that there were only two of them on duty so that they had no time to make anybody tea.

In the next room to room to Maggir was a woman called Elaine who was 95 years old

One day Elaine had asked Maggie did you think it was better to have dementia or to remain as she was with a normal brain.

Was Elaine thinking that you get privileges if you are demented?

Please don’t pretend that you’ve got dementia because we think you’re going to be able to be screaming a lot more than you do already because they don’t give extra help to those people.

One day I heard them saying to June, you aren’t the only person in here there are 14 other people on this floor

You do not get one to one care here. You have to go somewhere else for that

Oddly although they knew that this poor woman was demented they talked to her as if she was rational and if she was shouting and screaming they would tell her to stop because if she had contol.

And who knows what goes on when she is alone in that room with a member of staff because if they accuse them of doing something wrong they have no evidence.

Like I told him a story, one night the nest brought round my medication and I said where are the three pink tablets?

She said you don’t take pink tablets. Just a minute yes you did take pink ones but they’ve changed to White now.

I took them and swallowed them and then I was very nervous because I didn’t really believe that story and asked to come back to show me the box but she didn’t hurt one out to see the color.

I didn’t make a formal complaint and luckily at no harm with them but when I did discussef it with someone in management they said that it was probably my bad eyesight that made mr6 think it was the wrong colour but if you’re always being pink up to then and it went back to pink the next day and it’s been pink ever since

If they were slightly more mature they would realize that defensiveness is a weakness and it has happened on other occasions and the nurses each said to me thank you very much for telling us that. You are a very clever woman.

You don’t have to be very clever to know what your medication is like when you’ve been taking the several years

Very surprised to hear this story, Annie and Mary nearly burst into tears.

I’m sorry Maggie said maybe I shouldn’t have told you.

No no you were quite right to tell us and I’m going to phone you every week when I go back to knittingham.

Maybe you could imagine that you are an anthropologist visiting a different culture and you can make notes about anything that seems interesting or frightening or worms and then we’ll come up and if a few weeks just for the weekend and you can give them to us or if you can do this on your tablet you can email it to us as if you my email address

maryknits@spirit.net

annieknots@spirit.co.uk

And if you want to know more about this you can get the book

Teach yourself how to be an anthropologist in 50 steps

As Annie and Mary returned to the hotel never much quieter than there have been when they’re left and Emily was having a rest work up to see these two anxious faces staring at him.

Butt sometimes life is terrible

https://www.gq.com/story/why-getting-better-at-waiting-could-improve-your-life

In JapanThere are lines drawn in front of every door that people queue up behind. That carries over into these moments of national crisis. After the Tohoku earthquake and the Fukushima crisis in 2011, as people waited in line for resources like food and water, it was incredibly orderly; there was no chaos. There was no stampeding. It was people honoring the wait as a symbol of their interconnectedness. Waiting was not seen as a negative thing. Waiting was seen as a contribution to society. We’re all facing this crisis, and together we will wait for our resources because you are just as important as I am.

Constant rumination kills the soul
Restrain your thinking and so become more whole
I write the sentence down, just like I speak
I find my native tongue lets symbols leak

My mind is like a small holed metal sieve
I hope I shall be kind and will forgive
What remains is worthy of a place
As for my mistakes, I beg your grace

Some minds are deep,clear streams their thoughts like fish
Other minds are tortured ,spin and crash
Keep on swimming like the drowning frog
He turned the milk to butter as he trod

Do not linger long on cruel thoughts
Scruples come from Satan, he’s worth naught

Daddy where were you when I was sad
I bought you Woodbines in Mather’s corner shop
I carried your boiled egg with salt on plate
You lay in bed adorned with wreaths of smoke

Uncle Herbert died when I was five
Not many of Dad’s brothers left alive
But Bert was old and all his children grown
He lay inert, the coffin dark, the stone

I saw yours and Grandad’s too, the oak
The Cemetery filled with men and broken hearts
Baffled grieving we would love seek
And for Mum’s mother’s grave, we tried to look

We too will lie gently in the earth
In communion with our parents ,love and birth

Is it mental illness to feel down

When we see a hospital destroyed

Little children plunged into the void

Mr Putin smiles more than he frowns

God himself was cruel in the past

Destroyed Gomorrah full of wicked men

He used to be be more active way back then

Is it Satan gloating in the blast?

We can’t believe a war is close at hand

We don’t want to lose our own dear men

Babies with. no fathers cry in vain

Ukraine’s agony to the world expands

Mary was feeling very tense; her back was aching.
Oh dear she moaned to her cat Emile. what a pity I can’t go to the beauty salon for a massage. I feel like it would do me so much good
Her little cat was very worried.
What can we do ?
I have got a bright idea ,said Mary. you can massage my back
I don’t think that my paws are  big enough
I know what to do Mary cried. If I lie on the bed with my back bare you can put some hand cream on your paws. then you can walk up and down my spine.
Off course you will have to wash your paws first.

 I have got a better idea as a cat. I will go out and get Smokey who is in the shed and Dusty he lives up the road and all the three of us can walk up and down your back

 I suppose that since I am the biggest one I will walk in the middle and they can walk on either side of me

 Emile left to collect his friends while Mary got a shallow dish of warm water and a towel so that the cats could wash their paws after they came through the cat flap from the garden

  She carried a large tub of moisturising cream upstairs and lay down on the bed with nothing on but her skirt and some stiletto heels plus a scarf and hat in merino woo;

 Suddenly she heard a loud voice.

 Where are you Mary she heard this very loud cry
Go away,Annie said Emile, go away mother is having a sleep

Ok I’ll come back at 5  oclock. she heard the kitchen door close and a few minutes later in  ran the three cats ready to help her

My goodness what would Annie have  thought if she  had seen Mary lying on the bed?
Mary put some cream from the moisturiser tub on to a plate so that the cats could get their feet covered
She lay face down on the bed  and she felt the soft pads of their feet on her back
Lovely she cried

 Emile mewed, Now keep parallel to me and press your feet down firmly as you walk. The three cats walk slowly up her back until they reached her shoulders
Now do do a 180-degree turn and slowly very slowly tread down Mary’s back until you come to her waist
All of the cats kept well in line firmly but gently down there is aching bad
 Do it again Mary  called

Smokey  and Dusty  were surprised  but Emile was used to the strange ways of human beings especially Mary and Annie who has been very distressed when poor dear Stan had been taken away from them
This is how grief affects some people They do the most odd things. but in another sense it seems a very sensible thing to do;it certainly helped Mary’s back
When she told them that she was feeling better they stood up on their hind legs and with paws touching they dancted around in a little circle on her back while Mary sang

 Here We Go Gathering nuts in May

 Unfortunately there was nobody there to take their photograph  but if you have someone might be able to arrange for something like this for yourself

 Otherwise tie a soft cloth on the end of a brush and and rub your back with this.

 Do  make sure that no one can see you through the window because you would have to take your clothes off

 You might live in a nudist colony  and then it will be alright 
I think I’m going to do it myself after I have a cup of tea. I will  put my raincoat on and go outside to see if I can find any cats roaming around at dusk
I do have a black cat that sleeps on the landing on the hot water pipe but unfortunately he doesn’t speak English
And nor do all of us

Your face is etched upon my heart.

I knew you in the morning light

Love is wise but never smart.

We have no need of others charts

In the mornings and the night

Your face is etched upon my heart.

As we waken sleep departs

To see your face is my delight

Love is wise and sometimes smart

Intuition, craft is art

Love is silent, hatred fights

Your face is etched upon my heart

Human Love can see in part

Face to face we’ll see aright

Love is wise love is not smart

Your face is etched upon my heart.

Love is wise but never smart

Is love blind? Who etched the lines?

Sacred, human, love is kind

Poor Annie had fallen out of the apple tree where she saw Emile chewing some smoked haddock stolen from her basket.

Emile looked down from the highest branch

Are you alright he mewed.

I don’t know she muttered.I am in shock.

I’d better ring 999 and get Dave.

Without waiting he ran down the apple tree into the hall.

He phoned 999 and soon the ambulance will arrive.

Where will Annie be taken?

Who will look after her?

And where is Mary her best friend

Will she get better?

Find out in the next chapter if you pay £50 to The Red Cross by the time the next part is written.

Can’t wait

Chapter 2. Was their voice too loud?

Chapter 3. Are other people real or mere servants of your fantasies?

What to wear when you are dumb

.A new book by your favourite author

If you see things t other people don’t,
Like eyes afloat and fish flying quite bare
Better keep it to yourself, I say
For being odd can lead us to despair

If you see blood dripping down the walls
And Jesus getting off his Cross in church
Get your eyes glued to the book of prayer
Even if your guts begin to lurch.

If God burns bold in bushes near your State
Direct him with your Sat Nav to the Gate.
Never call him Father, Mother, Mate
Just tell him you are busy and you’re late

If us women wish no more to mate
Nor bear children, nor elucidate;
Is there something evil in control
That boils our ova and cremates our souls?

And if the men are unemployed and feeling low
Wish not to marry nor to share their woe
Well, once we had the coal mines deep and dark
And if they saw a golden light they sparked

I won’t tell you of my secrets as it’s night.
But keep a candle and the wit to bite

The vital line is drawn human  hands

When all the force of art is gathered in

The heart , the arm the fingers with the brush

Create a mark and then we can begin.

The other self will help us if we ask

We fear to lose control, we hesitate.

With our courage ink and paint will flow

Through our being truth and love relate.

Creating symbols new is very hard

We risk our vision, fear that we will fail

With wary hands, we tremble to begin

The still small voice, the the centre of the gale

Ecstatic moments, flood our souls with grace

In that littlle crack we find god’s face

https://www.radiocentre.org/copy-guidelines/swearwords-bleeps-taboo-slang/

In order to feed the poor could a priest use a sandwich instead of these very small hosts of bread?

And we could accept that all the sandwiches in the box were blessed by blessing one of them them poor people wood have their breakfast. As long as it was done with dignity I don’t see why not.

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2021/dec/16/distraction-disaster-notifications-hell-ping-phone-interruptions-escape

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Vital-Line-Selected-poetry-ebook/dp/B07HHHRBY6/ref=mp_s_a_1_22?crid=R9A5Z6NX8B4A&keywords=kathryn+braithwaite&qid=1684737319&sprefix=kathryn+Braithwaite%2Caps%2C85&sr=8-22

Read free on Kindle unlimited in

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/may/22/almshouse-residents-may-live-up-to-two-and-a-half-years-longer-study-finds?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/may/22/there-was-all-sorts-of-toxic-behaviour-timnit-gebru-on-her-sacking-by-google-ais-dangers-and-big-techs-biases?CMP=Share_AndroidApp_Other

https://www.verywellmind.com/handle-unwanted-advice-with-minimal-stress-3144966

https://www.themuse.com/advice/get-an-answer-already-how-to-deal-with-people-who-wont-respond

Iris Murdoch so that is aliens landed they would be amazed and astonished by all the flowers that grow on their

Buying Mary’s needles

On Monday morning Stan had to go to the shops in the centre of town to buy some special easy threading needles for his visually-other wife Mary.Somehow,most puzzlingly,she had lost all of the eight packs he had bought for her in the last year.He had suggested letting his mistress next door do the hemming and stitching.But Mary was determined even though sometimes she took 14 minutes just to thread a needle.But she was very patient.One might almost say she was saintly but he did not want her to get conceited so he kept his thoughts to himself.
Now what will I wear.Stan thought over-anxiously..
People no longer dress up to go down town instead they dress down to go up to the town,in a very real sense.
The art of living is to choose the most simple solution to any problem and Stan recalled he only had some navy trousers,some white and a few coloured shirts and one light teal colored jacket.
He chose a coral coloured shirt and looked in the mirror..
I look wonderful, he thought very humbly.
Why has God kept me so youthful?
Surely not so I can seduce more women?
We know God may be merciful to scissors,or is it sinners?Well,let’s just say God can be merciful but for some reason,we never know till it’s too late whether it’s to us.
More haste,less speed,he conjectured.
Or is it, More paste,guests feed?
He stood in the hall combing his hair with a tortoiseshell comb and brushing it with a large nail brush
He looked again at his image.
His amber eyes glowed like neon lights on the main road to Knittingham in winter.
His dark hair looked very full for his age.
His teal jacket had been well pressed by the dry cleaner, Jacob Weissmann.
And his coral shirt was new as Mary had been out buying him more clothes lately.She had grown tired of seeing him in one solid color,especially grey or brown.
His navy trousers were a bit old but quite alright for Knittingham.
As he gazed into the mirror he began to feel odd.Then he saw Emile
who was standing on the chest of drawers behind him performing a dance.. solo!
Why are you dancing,Emile? Stan asked politely.
I am amused by seeing you gazing into the mirror for so long,
If you don’t hurry it will be lunchtime before you get to the Needle Shop.
Alright,growled Stan hoarsely.At least I don’t wear make up! Now there’s a thought…maybe I’d look better…what shade of foundation would suit me?Would I need lip balm and perfume?
Hurry up,said Emile unkindly.More taste less greed.
What does that mean?asked Stan.
If you taste the food and eat slowly you will enjoy it more and thus need less.
Very clever,Emile.Shall I buy you some cough sweets in the pet shop.
No,I want some codeine linctus,Emile answered.
I want to go high,high.
I want to reach the sky.
what will I do when my love is away
Will I be happy on my own?
Lend me your ear and I’ll sing you a song
I’ll try not to sing out of tune!
My God,Emile.Whatever has happened to you?
I blame the old chalk and opium medicine someone spilled on my breakfast.
Well,go and lie down but drink some milk first.At last Stan got out…it had taken him two hours to get ready
At the bus stop there stood Anne their neighbour.
Hi,Stan,where are you going.
I’m buying sewing needles for Mary.
I can lend her some,she shrieked.
Well,she has to use special ones nowadays.
Oh,so she does.I forget as she looks normal but is in fact suffering constant trouble since her Vitreous-vasectomy.. or was it hysterectomy or vivacity?.
Well,never mind.You know she’s not normal.
Who is normal?
Let’s just assume we will recognize it when we see it,he whispered warningly.
This bus is very late.I wish there was a proper seat here..my knees hurt.
I hate this plastic seat.Why has the wooden one gone?
Apparently the council are afraid of homeless people sleeping on them.
Well,everybody is at risk of homelessness with this economic crisis,
Anne shouted in a fury.
No,beggars can’t be losers,he responded.
Very true,she replied, As they have nothing so they can’t lose it.The more you have,the more you fear losing it.
This bus is very,very late,I wish I had a horse or is it an horse?
A goat would be o.k.Speed bonny goat like a word someone flung..
Over the page to Fly.Anne burst out laughing so her face was as red as her coat from Artigiano.Her blue tights were a perfect contrast and also matched her lipstick uncannily.Where she bought it was a mystery.
At last the bus came.They got on board and the driver called out,
You both look very merry!
Too many looks create more wrath,Stan replied warningly.
Well, why dress up if you want no attention.the driver gloated.
Hello,darling, he said to Anne,Are you free tonight,babe?
Why? she murmured.
I have two tickets for the Rolling Stones and no woman to take! he replied boastfully.
Now,if it were the Rolling Bones,I might be interested.
Your wish is my command he muttered,
I have my smart phone here,I’ll see what’s one elsewhere.
He kept trying but the virtual keyboard was playing up again.
Eventually the passengers got annoyed and asked him to start the bus.
As I’m half an hour late,I should be coming back now so I’ll do a U turn and go back
But we want to go into town,every one howled.
There’s many a blue word spoken as a jest,sang the driver.
Stan said,Please open the door,we shall dismount here.
Crikey,you don’t half talk posh,said the ,driver.
He leaned over and gave Anne a French kiss.
Now look here,Stan said,leave her alone.She’s my mistress.
Cor blimey said the driver,who are you,King Henry the Eighth?
I say,Stan,I can see Mary.It must be tea time.
Stan ran into the house and put the kettle on..then he made a pot of tea.
Hello! said Mary. Did you get my needles,Stan?
I’m so sorry,Mary.I ‘ve had such a busy day,I never got into the town.
And where is my supper.
In the womb of time
I see,it’s chick pea dahl and brown rice again or egg on toast. But I’m not complaining.Keeping house is a big job.I know it only to well.
So they sat with Anne and Emile,who even had his own cup and saucer now.They were weary and soon ,despite the tea, they were all fast asleep.
Like you.

Although Stan was 102, he still rode his bike locally  in the summer time.He was out in the garden pumping up the tires before  going off to the Library.Suddenly his neighbour Annie appeared at the gate, without him hearing her feet  tapping on the path of red brick;she was bedecked in finest Scottish tweed with a long pendant on a solid 22 carat gold chain swinging nonchalantly from her neck, with a matching ring attached mysteriously to her upper lip.

“Who’re you, the Lady Mayoress” he joked.
Where’s Mary?” she pointedly whispered.
”She’s  with her widowed sister Joan up  in Scotland ” Stan admitted nervously, unsure of her reactions.
”Joan, that’s not a very Scottish name!” Annie joked.” Anyway how about we sit down here on this bench for a moment”.She pulled him vigorously towards her.

Stan responded regretfully
“I’m afraid I can’t stop.I have all these books overdue and the library shuts in 15 minutes
.”Don’t worry, sweetheart”, she cried un-contemptuously.”I’ll pay all your fines.I’ve just come into loads  and loads of money.”
“Oh, how’s that.my angel” Stan murmured. “I  shot Bert.If you help me to get rid of the evidence, I’ll share the loot with you.”

At the funeral, Annie was dressed in a beautiful dark brown suit  with a black trim from Jaeger.She went around the room making sure everyone had enough food and drink.As she leaned over towards Stan her heavy gold locket, inside which was hidden the bullet that killed Bert, swung over and hit Stan a glancing blow on the temple.
Stan fell to the ground
.”Do you think we should ring 999?” someone asked sarcastically.Within minutes, paramedics arrived.
“So, is it that chair again?” they clamoured.
”Yes, this foolish old man fell over and the leg came off my  brand new antique chair.I’ve only had it a few days and it’s not insured.”

“Did anyone ever tell you, your eyes are like deep pools in the Saragossa Sea?”  Dave, the paramedic whispered into her right ear.
“Have you still not finished that Creative Writing Course?” Annie shouted.””I’m getting tired of you admiring my eyes.What about my nose?””

“Has anyone ever told you, your nose is the shortest they’ve ever seen?”

“That’s a bit boring” Annie retorted.
”Yeah, maybe I should change to Art,” he ruefully moaned.”I love the way your deep blue and turquoise eye shadow is melting around your eyes and running down the sides of your nose.”
“Hurry up and fix my chair, and while you’re about it, you may as well take Stan down to A and E for a head X-ray.”
Glancing furtively at Annie in her Jaeger suit with carefully contrasting deep coral blouse and opaque teal blue 80 denier tights with 6 inch stiletto heels to complete the outfit, not to mention her raspberry coloured bra which clashed violently with the coral blouse [which alas was more transparent than she realised], he picked up a hammer and began,excitedly,to mend the broken chair.
”This is what life is all about, my boy” he thought.One day I will  be just where I should be.Right here.With her,alone!

Little did he know the true tale, that Annie had murdered her husband merely because she felt very  bored.
Boredom is dangerous.If you are affected why not go out and look at some hats? Why not take up drawing. is now online

Microsoft Paint

L

Come live with me and be my sweetheart now
I’ll share my only bed with you and how!
If you let me love you
I’ll darn your old wool gloves 4 you
If you come and meet me brow to brow.

Come live with me ‘n teach me all you know
About poetic licence and Defoe.
I’ll mend your vacuum cleaner,
Learn expressions meaner..
How cheerfully the hours to come will go

Come live with me and be my lover true
Without one, whatever shall we do?
I’ll mend all England’s railways
Wreck the works on weekdays
Come live with me and I will sweep your flue.

Come live with me in Norway on a fjord
I’ll play my Canon PowerShot if
I ‘m bored
I’ll watch the flowers growing
And see the waters flowing
How happy Wittgenstein’d be if he’d knowed

https://www.timesofisrael.com/meet-the-orthodox-jewish-physicist-rethinking-the-origins-of-life/

https://www.aspiringtokindness.com/blog/2019/6/11/the-crucial-difference-between-anger-and-hostility

Properly understood, anger is a gateway sensation to other feelings.  Hostility is more a siege-like mental state that brooks no compromise. 

 

• Mary was just running out of the front door when she realised she had not combed her hair.
  She looked around, and found a small wire brush labelled,”For nubuck and suede shoes”…..
  Peering into the old mirror she ran it though her gold and silver hair,powdered her nose with her Estee Lauder natural beige foundation in powder form and slapped some coral lipstick on with haste.. and accuracy.
  Right,that’s it,she thought.Enough to show willing.
  She met her old friend Maureen at the bus stop.
  Have you been seeing Joel again? Maureen asked naughtily.
  No,I’ll be damned if I see him again,Mary said shyly.He told me he was living alone in a large house up the hill, then I met him with his wife.Who was he trying to fool?
  Maybe he hoped you would not notice?
  Not notice what,her wedding ring?
  Luckily the bus came down the road and stopped beside them.They jumped on and ran to the back. for a gab.
  Are you going shopping? Maureen asked.
  No,I am going to take some photos of the jazz band playing on the pavement by the bank… but I told Stan I was going to the pharmacy to buy some Vaseline….
  Why,does he not like you taking photos?
  Not when an old boyfriend of mine is in the band.
  Exactly how old is the boyfriend?
  About 69 I guess.
  Well he’s not that old!
  He is an ex I should have said.I knew him in primary school and used to ride his tricycle.He was my first love.We were only 5 years old.I think it was his red curls and the tricycle that attracted me… but we split up when we were 6.
  Surely Stan would not be jealous;it is 63 years ago,
  And to me it was like last year!Well. you know time does not exist in the Unconscious.
  How wonderful.
  Yes and no.Good memories can be there but also pain can seem as if it just happened even when it is from 50 years ago.
  Have you had a lot of men admiring you,dear?
  How would I know?There could be thousands if they were too shy to speak.
  You know what I mean!
  Not so many.. I had my second when we were 10.He had golden hair and long eye lashes and lots of games in boxes.He was very sweet but we were to young to be engaged so I decided to give men up and study mathematics instead as that has its own icy beauty…
  Wel,,nice meeting you.Have you dyed your hair;it’s got brown streaks.
  Oh,dear,Mary thought.Is it shoe polish? But who polishes suede shoes nowadays?
  Stan was following Mary on his Face Bike.He was watching her from behind the bike racks in front of the HSBC Bank…
  Mary had had many bikes in her life.. what would a fortune teller make of that,he asked himself.
  Still,she had no idea Stan was nearby as she wandered nonchalantly along the grey pavement in her Rosella dress and Gabor suede Mary Janes..
  Now then, where shall I go to take the photos,she thought…maybe I’ll sit outside this Coffee Shop and pretend to feel faint if anyone asks me to buy coffee…
  she opened her bag and took out her Kindle Paperwhite… she was reading,
  Creative Imagery and Healing… and also Cars and Peace by Leo Wholeshaw.. a futuristic novel set in North London.In the first chapter a grandmother has been beheaded in North London.
  That’s a bit far fetched,Mary had thought when she read it but in fact Wholeshaw had been right on the ball when he wrote his e book and self published it on Cramuzon for £3.89…
  I wonder if I’d like to write a novel, Mary mused… just then she saw Stan on the other side of the road talking to a blonde bombshell dressed all in pink.
  I see,she thought.He didn’t know I’d be here as the pharmacy is half a mile away.
  Who is watching whom?Well.the morals be lacking but my grammar is incorrect, damn it!
  And  so swear of us

The still small voice,a whisper in the ear

Who will hear it in this noisy age?

Pandemonium food banks, fear of war?,

Buying more cheap clothes distill our rage.

Intelligence of any kind is rare

Sometimes suffering gives us time and spurs

Illness is creative for the few

Underneath the panic there is care.

Sit in in ancient churches for the view

Walk along the sea edge see the waves

Poetry music painting must engage