Author: Katherine

Poetry writer and author

How awe helps us

https://www.thetimes.com/article/fc6d9897-cf0c-4686-a504-96931aef9dd5?shareToken=96a159cd4da6d1251e5505efbf251803

Or

Poets have long been entranced by awe, that fleeting shiver of wonder you might feel while gazing at an endlessly starry sky or the geometry of a perfect snowflake

This did not require trekking to mountaintops or witnessing eclipses. Simply pausing to admire the intricacy of the veins of a leaf or being astonished by the scale of the universe after listening to a science podcast

Love will need no trick

In my despair I felt that I was stuck
Paralysed by  grief and guilt I failed
By the end I had tried every trick

From prayer unthought to deeps of logic black
My  life, my engine ,juddered off the  rails
I hated God and of “his” Church was  sick

Starving  and alone I was in shock
The death of one I loved   had made me frail
By the end I had tried every trick


I felt  Love’s arms around me, death was blocked
I knew   this goodness,  why else would I wail?
I   thought I hated God  but Love had struck

Warm and golden light  that  did me hold
Where are you now when Evil has grown bold?
Kind despair  that  made me long time sit
By the end I learned Love needs no trick

You have not failed you have learned something  important but different from what you expected

I was trying to connect a Chromebook to the internet via my Wi-Fi

It did not respond when I tapped my Wi-Fi provider. After a lot of effort I discovered I could just about see the settings when the screen was in a high intensity mode

It appeared to be connected to EE and then wanted to charge me for using it but I don’t know who’s EE broadband it was connected to.

I’ve never spent a lot of time losing it the settings but I’m glad that I did spend this time because I understand a lot more about the settings now than I did before.

Eventually I managed to get rid of EE and put my BT one in its place

Now all that took a long time.

And what I do is the following

I spend a maximum of 25 minutes with a problem and then I leave it until the next day

I repeat this for as many days as it takes.

In between my brain has been working on what’s happened and so I find it easier to go back into the problem

Of course it’s very hard sometimes to leave a problem

I’ve still not connected it because it comes up with the phrase

Network not available.

If you have good eyesight you will probably do this problem solving more quickly than I can

The tiny print is very hard to read even with a magnifying glass and several pairs of spectacles

No I feel confident that I know how to do that but not just that but I’ve learned how to do several other things.

I first learned this technique of doing only 20 or 25 minutes at a time when I bought a new phone and by some horrible chance I touched Norwegian as the language by mistake and it took me four days of 25 minutes a day to change it back to English again

No one I knew at the time knew what to do so I just had to keep trying different possibilities.

So the most important thing is: it’s better not to use a lot of energy pressurising yourself to solve the problem quickly

If it is urgent then you’re better off calling in an expert to help you.

Sometimes my memory works in the same way.

A crack, a loud smack

I know that's how death will come, 
Suddenly flying into another orbit when I am photographing flowers
 It's not a gentle transition.
 No-one will know where I've gone. 
One step wrong and I'm off the high wire
 And plunging into the no safety net.
 Flying for a while 
Jumping into hyperspace,spinning electrons 
Startle my wide eyes. 
Transiting the new black sun 
I'm on a double gold helix, 
Spider on her web,
 Knitting furiously
 Into the future heaven on gossamer wings. 
Butterfly goodbye,
I'm off to see the stars.
 And the black holes.
No one will come with me.
 I'm shaking off,evaporating into mist.
 I'm a flying saucer on a circus mission.
 I can't say no to a new invitation. 
Make it fast and break with tradition.
 Time is passing smoothly till that break In the music,
I've been transmuted into a different key 
someone else will play me on their violin
 I'm a tune, I'm a thought, I'm a whisper in your vision. 
Goodbye,darling.
I'm under orders Ready to leave for my performance
 On the electric carpet.
 Death dancing to a tune on a violoncello,
 Arpeggionne sonata 
I'm playing your words upside down
 In a new foreign translation,
 Accompanied by solo artists,ice cracking 
I'm going in.
It's too sudden. 
I'm flying. 
Spinning faster to amuse the clowns, 
too many ups and no downs. 
I'm going right out of orbit
 I've broken the pull of gravity,
 And fly with pure equanimity
 Into my future life,
 I'm off at some moment
An instant,a crack,a loud smack
That was me passing

v

40% off the Pearl of great price

I wonder if the pearl of great price is no longer itself when you think you can acquire it cheaply.

Of course the great price is not money it is a metaphor that you sacrifice all that you have that you are willing to become nothing in order to get this Pearl which is I think must be  creativity.

http://www.jcrhumming.wordpress.com

Visit the blog of Janet Weight Reed the artist who you will see is a good example of what I’m talking about

The creaks of loving:Stan gets a surprise

Cracks in the pavement 3

A surprise

Stan and Annie have been having such a lovely time since Mary went off.Stan has quite given up his addiction to microfibre cloths and polishing the windows.

He and Annie can now make love at night and go out for trips in the day time.
Emile’s diary is getting quite full although he is worried he may bebanned from sleeping on the foot of the bed soon as he may be in their way.How will he know what they get up to?

Luckily there is a gap at the bottom of the door so he should be able to see them in the mirror opposite the bed.They usually light the bedside lamp so as to see into each other’s eyes.
~Annie is a very bold,confident woman.Despite being rather plumper than is medically advised she loves her body and lives happily in it now she has true love.
One morning Stan goes down to make some tea whilst
Annie comes to.
“Stan,come here quickly!”
“What’s wrong,my little lamb chop?”
“I feel sick!”
“Was it those old sausages we ate up last night?”
“No,it’s a different sort of sick!”
“You don’t mean………..?”
“Yes,Stan,I’m afraid a miracle has happened!”
“But you are 55 and I’m 90.Surely we can’t have a baby!”
“Well,the ways of God are strange.” she murmured.
“I don’t want to bring God into it.” he riposted.
“Are you not pleased we are still fertile?” she asked
him humorously.
“Well,in the abstract I might be but in the concrete it
could be awkward.” he said furtively
“What do you mean?”
“Well,Mary will be coming back in a couple of months,you
know”
“We don’t have to tell her you are the father.I could
pretend it was the new Vicar at St Andrew’s”
“But he’s gay!”
“Not many men are able to resist my charms and skills.”
“I can believe that,”Stan answered lubriciously.
“But will you have to seduce him soon before he notices
you are pregnant>”
“I wasn’t thinking of actually going to bed with
him,”said Annie with a smile.
“Oh,dear.I was looking forward to that,”Emile murmured
under his breath.
“That would have made my diary into a best seller.”
“Gay vicar seduces middle aged harlot who is now
expecting.”
It sounds a bit like the old Bible stories except they
had no vicars in those days.But miracles like older
women bearing children did happen so…who knows?
Stan and Annie got dressed and went into the kitchen.
They were both looking confused.
“You don’t want an abortion do you?” he enquired
tenderly.
“No way.” she replied softly.
“I love you so much,I could not wish for more than to
“In that case,I’ll tell Mary.She is a very wise woman in
many ways,though a bit lacking in the earthjer side of
life.She has not slept with me for thirty years or
more.”
“Perhaps she thought you were too old?” said Annie.
“No,she never enjoyed it.She just put up with it as she
wanted a baby.”
“Maybe you did not turn her on!”
“I did my best,but she preferred reading Proust and
“I wonder of she has Asperger’s syndrome?”
“Well,they do find social life trying but I suppose she
can’t blame you for loving another?”
“No,she’s very broadminded.I’ll suggest we all move in
together.I’ll divorce her but she can have the big
bedroom and we’ll have the guest room with the en
suite.”
“I think this will be fun.”
“Well,not all of it but it will be intriguing,”
“So no need to seduce the Vicar,then?”
“We’ll leave him out of it.He might fall in love with
you and then what would happen?”
“God only knows,”She answered humorously as she went
into the kitchen to make a cup of coffee.
Read more about this next week or it may be too late!

Deadly death

Frokm

Over-ripe peaches stuck in throat
Swallowed a button inside a salmon steak.Two for one.
Tried to thread needle while standing on own head
Fell out of bed onto a sharp wife
Dreamed was being buried so died of shock
Asked for cremation owing to drug habits.Died when in urn or before

Save money.Be buried alive…. join now.

Mary and her booming voice

Mary realised her voice was louder than most when people took out their hearing aids when she talked to them But was she right? There are alternatives explanations such as people were not interested in Wittgenstein but in the cost of living She did find her booming voice useful when phoning doctors, Why had her voice got louder as she aged? Could her doctor have given her testosterone instead of oestrogen? Off she went to meet her doctor on Zoom Oh,my God her GP shouted. When you said you were an 85 year old mathematician I assumed you were a man but your voice was feminine hence I gave you male hor.mones to deepen it and make it more authoriative Why don’t you change your gender ? he continued I don’t feel like a màñ How do you know how men feel ? They have felt me in bed with an urgency that surprised me If you tell them you are trans they won’t feel you anymore Unless they are gay And so say all of us

Daddy’s coming home

At three o’clock, we ran across the park
Then up the Wigan Road, we children roamed
Past the houses and along the fields
Looking for our daddy coming home
Looking for our daddy coming home.

I was only  two or three  at most
We passed our church and saw the Pope in Rome
We climbed a fence and walked by fields of wheat
Looking for our daddy coming home
Looking for our daddy coming home.

From the distance came a tall thin man
A ladder on his shoulder, hair well combed
A bucket full of paints and all his tools
Look, Paul, is that daddy coming home?
Bernard, I think daddy’s coming home!

A look of shock, a smile, a cry, my loves!
He rushed towards us, happy and transformed
What about your mammy does she know?
Yes, yes, yes it’s daddy coming home
Yes, yes, yes, it’s daddy coming home.

Oh,Mammy had no idea   of  it at all
She thought we were just playing by the wall
Children were much bolder and more free
Daddy  how I loved you, come to me

Emile falls off the roof

Mary was on a step ladder in the bathroom spying on her husband Stan,through a hole in the wall…which he had drilled for spying on women sunbathing nude in their back gardens>
He was climbing over the fence with Emile their cat on his shoulder.

I think it’s ridiculous, she muttered .
Surely Emile, a cat, can jump over the fence by himself.But Emile was very limp,she saw with horror
He can’t be dead, she whispered to herself fearfully.She jumped down off the and hit her head on a tap… a dangerous event for a human with weak retinae or retinas
Oh,my! That hurt…I’d better be careful.She flew down stairs and met Stan in to the kitchen
Emile has got concussion, Stan said unhappily
Is he not dead,she wondered anxiously.
No, he only fell off Annie’s roof.I am sure he’ll come to.
Good Lord.What made him go up there and more important,how did he manage it manage to climb up?
You’d better ring 999,he informed her graciously yet boldly

If you say so ,my dear.I’d do anything you ask..
Don’t put on that act! he said wantonly
I mean it.
A bit too late now.
What do you mean?
After 40 years with your mind on Wittgenstein,Dirac,Pascal and Kierkegaard,do you think I don’t know you made a mistake marrying me
But whoever I married,I’d have read those same writers…
Umphh,said Stan dolefully.
Just then Dave,the bisexual transvestite paramedic ran in.
Poor Emile,what have you done?
He fell off Annie’s roof, but we have no theory as to how he got there,said Stan.
Well, there’s no need to think of that… deal with reality.That’s my modus operandi!
He gave Emile the kiss of life.

Emile came to…but was not pleased
Why did you waken me up?I was having a lovely dream of walking down a silver path where I saw a big cat with shining fur and tender eyes looking at me.He just began to miaow when some fecking idiot woke me up… was he God?
I can’t say,Emile,dear.But please do not swear.
I’ll do whatever I fecking well feel like,he said.
Good heavens, what has happened.Has he been reading dirty books?
No, he was watching East Enders on TV… they all use the f word constantly.
Well,Emile.God will have to wait… he’ll be glad if you do some kind work here on earth.
Up yours,said Emile.I am sick of living here.I’ve been hoping for years Stan would mate with Annie but he has only managed a kiss.
Perhaps it was the kiss of life,said Mary hopefully as it pained her to think Stan no longer desired her.
Well, in a sense,you might have hit the snail on the bed said Stan thoughtfully.I know any further mention of philosophy will drive me mad!
Now,Dave said,shall I make you some tea?
Thank you Stan responded.I am half crazed already.Tea may save my sanity.But for what?
Annie came in
Did you know Emile was in a hot air balloon,she said in tones of wonder.How has he got down so fast?
I fecking well fell out,the cat yawned proudly.Then I had a near death experience until this loon here brought me round.
Emile,I’ve never heard you swear before! she whispered in a strange manner reminiscent of almost silent films starring unnames and forgotten beauties of long ago.
Do you like it,baby? Emile asked.
No I don’t. I’ve never said Feck in all my life.
Well you have now,the cat informed her with a naughty smile.
I think he’s possessed by demons.We’ll have to have him exorcised.
But I like demons,Emile bawled .I’ve been good all my life and I am bored and depressed.
So you believe swearing will help more than therapy?
Emile got up and lit a cigarette nonchalantly with a certain ,je ne sais pas.
Good grief,he’ll be having sex on the sofa next said Stan.
What a good idea,said Emile, but I want my own room and an en suite..I mean to impress the next girl friend I have.
Dave drank some tea and watched these old folk ponder.
I am wondering where we went wrong,said Mary.All these years we’ve educate you privately and even had you baptised.
Well.I am going to be a Jew,said Emile.
I don’t think a cat can be a Jew… and you never ever had any interest in the spiritual before,why this?
Well,when I was unconscious I realised that God exists….
But why a Jew?
Well,they were the first to see God in a Burning Bush..
And the last too, thought Annie nervously.
Well,said Stan.You want to smoke,swear ,make love and possibly enjoy wine and song.Is that not enough?
Does God smoke and swear?
There was a long silence and Emile answered
Well,you see,Yes he does.
I’m off said Dave.I have to ring the Pope.
Why? asked Emile.I’m not going be a Catholic….
Well,said Dave,he ought to know that God is a cat.

I dream of pearls

Inside my mind I dream of pearls,
Caterpillars,snails with whorls.
I dream contented, all enwrapped;
With reverie and dream I’m lapped.
The inner seas will comfort me,
While gods open my eyes to see

Oh,sweeter than confectionery
Is my Oxford diction’ry.
The words whirl round then fall to shape
The sentences which my world make.
This furnishing is rich and strange
And magically self arranged.

Oh,sweeter than the love of man
Is reading works of poets long gone;
Feeling deeply their dark tides .
Upon which our boat may glide.
The sea infinite we float upon
Is the same warm sea the ancients swam..

Sweeter still is the spring air
And the blossom spreading fair.
We’ll drown our selves in grassy fields
To the gods of poetry yield.
We’ll rise again and spring up tall
To grow more ripe until we fall

Does the dead sea have any pepper in it?

The bus was due in five minutes.Mary applied some sunscreen and combed her hair gently with a cake fork while she wondered why she was going out.She looked into her phone camera to get her hair in order Alas, the familiar footsteps of Annie were heard on the patio

In she flew dressed in red and brown like a robin in winter except she wore pure wool How do you like my outfit, she cried girlishly Mary stared at her, noting the pale beige face makeup from Max Tucker and brick coloured lipstick from Wigan’s Makeup Outlet Store where Annie loved to browse for days on end. I think the brick coloured lipstick does not go with the scarlet jacket,Annie. Oh, don’t worry.It’s the in thing now to clash

That might be true but men won’t know it’s a fashion unless they read Vogue.Most don’t.

Never mind all that. I’ve brought Emile a new blanket

He’s not a dog,you know.Do cats need blankets?

If you drove it would protect the seat. I might go round the bend.If we drive we almost certainly would meet bends

Do fish get the bends,mewed Emile? We don’t know that.It only proves that a question can be asked in a human language but within that system there is no way of answering it,Mary told him quietly, thinking of Wittgenstein her husband’s former tutor.

First of all, fish probably can’t speak English or understand it.

How amazing, the little cat replied.How stupid can you get

Well a fish would think you were stupid for not being able to live in the sea. 

So true,Emile sighed.Shall I try? Don’t be so ridiculous,Annie whispered.The sea in not near Knittingham. Mary can’t drive and you may drown. Then St Peter will be reading out all your sins 

Can cats commit sins, asked Emile with surprise

Yes, because you know you have a choice.You can bite my hand or resist the temptation 

I don’t feel like biting it now so if I did it would not give me pleasure.

For God’s sake, stop arguing.Anyone would think you’d been to the Synagogue, today Mary shouted 

But in a Synagogue men argue about the Torah not about cats swimming,Emile replied 

But then it gets to be a habit,Mary finished. Still many other people argue,Annie reminded her

But God does not want it,Mary said How do you know? He/She may love to hear it.It will provoke thought And it may provoke a Flood or you being turned into a pillow of salt,Mary screamed Pillar of Salt,Annie corrected he 

Why do people not turn into pepper, the cat asked wisely. There is no pepper in the Dead Sea, the women agreed.~And black pepper/white pepper could be PIC They have red peppers in the Market.Annie mused.And yellow too But where does that leave us?Where was Mary going to and why has she not left for the bus stop?

Was it something wicked that she was trying to do in secret? We’ll see tomorrow I expect

Wild Geese

Leaves have gone so suddenly
Small birds float on the wind
Like boats astride a choppy sea.
Their swaying soothes my mind.

Wild geese fly past at dusk again,
They head towards the North.
The holly berries glow in sun,
Nature death and birth.

I gaze intently at the sky,
The clouds hang dark and low.
If I too were a wild goose
I’d know which way to go

But I am left with only words
To find my destination.
Yet words do carry down to us
Wisdom from past generations

We use old words in unique ways.
We structure them to form
A new design not seen before
A new sentence is born

I send my words with love to you
I hope you safely catch them.
Give me answers from your heart
And I’ll do my best to match them.

Woodlands by the sea

From the sea into the greenwood trees

Enchanted by the birds the woodlands gleamed

This put our minds at rest and gave us ease.

Wildflowers caressed our feet with furry  bees .

Shadows each one striped by white sunbeams

From the sea into the greenwood trees

By beautious sights our  living hearts were seized

As if the gods and all the world were pleased

Our minds were put at rest and we felt ease.

From the sea into the greenwood trees

On the tree the female blackbird preens

I close my eyes and see all this in dreams

From the sea into the greenwood trees

The  dappled sunshine like a lover teased.

Like a fallen moon

Old man,bending over,
arched like a fallen moon
in a dark lilac November sky.
joy and pain wrestle my heart across the emptiness
and toss it up like a damp rocket
to fall in a hidden corner where mice live.
Would that not be a good ending,to be dust
to these little creatures nesting
in my chewed green twine and my tartan basket?
They have eyes and shiver in my hand when I rescue them
from the cat…
as any heart might.
Now night falls on the newspaper basket
where the damp Times and the Guardian mix into glue
and tomorrow the sun will rise
and it will just be the garbage
with no poetic undertones nor deathly hushes..
Heather and a silver light
you stand on a hill top like a god
looking over his domain.
Strong and now weak
it’s the humane condition
Everlasting life is too dangerous for humans.
Silent,motionless,home of beetles
bit by bit we fall away
into the mother soil
with cracked jugs and dropped coins
for a future academic to dig into.
Transparent hand touches me.
Whose might it be

The hidden depths

MARY OVERSLEEPS

Annie went onto Mary’s patio at 10 am and began to water her many tubs.The watering can was filled with rain water though the weather was now a little drier.Emile ran behind her admiring her tight black jeans from Calvin Klein and her red blouse from Bowlands of Wrath.Suddenly the bedroom window opened and Mary leaned out.
Hi Annie,I have not gone away after all.
Why not? asked her caring and dear neighbour
Well,I completely forgot because I was out last night meeting a man from Soul-mates and got home so late I slept right through the alarm.
A pity you didn’t bring him back,said Anniem licking her lips.
I can’t bring any man here so soon,Mary informed her.I rang the hotel and cancelled my booking.With the weather so odd even Blackpool Illuminations would not cheer anyone up.I didn’t know which clothes to take either.
Isn’t it interesting that as we get better off we get problems like that,remarked Annie. When we were young we had so few clothes we had no trouble packing.
Mary laughed.My first year after University I bought two cotton dresses in Woolworth’s.I thought they were ok but later discovered they were almost transparent.Anyway I wore themn But now few women wear dresses.Look at you in those jeans and you a pensioner!
Annie gazed up to Mary, revealing her thick Revlon skin polish and L’Oreal cream rich foundation in golden grey-beige.Her parted lips were coated in moisture rich coral lipstick by Mussolini and Co. of Argentina and Vienna.
Mary was wearing a long nightgown made of pure nylon decorated with photos of cats of all breeds.Emile had given it her for her birthday.He had managed to type it into the google box on his laptop paying with Stan’s credit card from the Bank of Vichy and Nice,France.
I want some tea,Mary said.Soon she appeared in a polyester house dress from Daxon of Paris and the Ruhr. lt was covered in pictures of snakes.
Why,those snakes are rather horrible, Annie said.
I know snakes are in fashion but I shall avoid them.I saw some trousers in Marks but they might give a man the wrong impression.
That is sexist ,Mary told her shyly.They might give a lesbian the wrong impression too.
Oh,dear. Isn’t life hard now when we have to be so careful what we say.I wonder if it is because of social alienation and the rapid changes in demographics that we need rules when before we knew all our neighbours and they knew us.With strangers we need more rules.
I agree, said Mary defiantly.And I just saw a book called “Compassionate Assertiveness Training”She laughed.
Shall we send one to Donald Trump.Can you believe what America is like if a man like that can be President?
Well,it’s a democracy so if Satan lived there he could stand if he had the money..
The two women suddenly fell silent.Emile was puzzled as they rarely paused like this once they got going
Is he the anti-Christ, purred the little cat.
Satan or Donald Trump? asked Annie.
Well …. we’ve never seen Satan as yet…But we must watch out in case he comes here to punish the weak and the sick.
Well that gave them all a moment of wonder before Mary grilled some bacon and cut some bread from a loaf she got in the Victoria Bakery.
Here you are,she said to Annie,handing her a sandwich.Better eat anyway,whatever happens.Give me some hot tea,quick
And so pray all of us.
For he’s a Bally Woodfiller,
He’s a Wooly Sad Triller
And all day so are us.

The time to make preparations is before you begin

When you are learning something new the first step in learning a skill such as knitting or cooking is to decide the answer to the following question it’s also appliance to learning mathematics and other games

What will I do when I make a mistake?

This is important because we may have been brought up to feel that everyone can do everything right straight away as soon as they’ve been told how to do it. Then it’s a horrible shock when you find you can’t do the algebra equation or the cake comes out flat

In that situation any mistake is a disaster.

When you are learning from mathematics you have to accept that when you try to solve a problem you will have to evaluate it as you go along and even before you get near the end you may decide that you don’t like the method you’ve chosen because maybe you can tell it’s not going to give you the kind of answer that will be sensible or its an ugly methid; it’s not beautiful

If ourse when you first start you don’t know what is beautiful and there’s no definition of what is beautiful in mathematics it’s something that you will gradually learn as you do it or you will never learn it because you get up or it’s not important to you

If you learning knitting you have to decide your attitude.

If you know you will make mistake she will quite calmly stop, examinine and probably undo a few stitches and then start again

It’s a to and fro

I can’t say exactly what it’s like for art but I think you’re constantly evaluating what you’re doing and developing an instinct

No doubt if you constantly produce horrible ugly images that you don’t like and and that nobody else likes then maybe you’re doing the wrong thing but if you have a strong desire to do it then you should just keep on regardless of what other people think

In something as difficult as art it’s probably better to go to a teacher to start with.Abd many people don’t want to produce something original they just want to copy something which pleases them.

I think there’s a proverb

The time to make preparations is before you begin And deciding what you will do when you make a mistake is part of the preparation

My following this method I was able to knit a Shetland lace sweater which I would never have been courageous enough to try if I thought that I had to do it right all the time and in fact the two and the fro of forwards and backwards led to a feeling of peace and calmne

Of course you can’t make a mistake when you are bringing up children in certain situations for example you can’t let the children play with the carving knives and then when they’re stabbed themselves decide that you’ve got to go back and start again because you can’t do that when somebody’s been injured

So they must be rules as well so that  when you’re doing something you must consider if it’s dangerous to other people.

And if you have children you must teach this to them as well

In teaching in the classroom or at home punishing people for making mistakes is not in the long run going to make them learn well

Day shall come again

When red sun drops and cooling night rolls in
Darkness masks both danger and our vision
Ancient minds fear day won’t come again
Courage for the delicate seems thin
We wrestle with our indecision
When low sun drops and a new night rolls in
But now , fresh stricken by the dread of sin
Who protects us from derision?
Our ancient mind fears day won’t come again
As we sleep we’re entertained within
Bold dreams squander all illusion
When sunset comes the darkest night rolls in
In  dreams we see  new life  arising
Then fancy turns to full communion
The ancient mind dreads day won’t come again
Despite such angst, our sacred life began
When sperm leaped up in proud confusion.
When deep sun dropped and a new night rolled in
All human hearts cried,Day shall come again”

Afraid of this wild sea in which I float

I’m in an ocean wild in my small boat

I cannot steer and with no power I float

I feel afraid, the waves are fierce and high

If  I’m washed away then I will die

I have no mobile

phone,I  have no light

All around are waves, a dreadful sight

Where did I lose my way, my sense, my skill?

Who can help me now, if that’s god’s will?

Sometimes we feel stronger in control

Deluded by illusions on we roll

Feeling frightened feeling small and lost

We try to carry on and count the cost.

Yet what may help may be inside, not out

The voice we hear is small , it will not shout.

Despair itself can heal if our mind’s still.

No social media posts, no unmet bill

And as we learn how weak we are, and rest

Another hand will steer but can we trust?

Instead of seeking power must  we give in

It may turn out in losing we will win.

Instead of proving self to be the power

Something quite unknown has won the hour.

We see the turtle dove as it flies near.

Let the unknow  hand be that which steers.

Now I know better what is real wickedness

English garden

When I was a child I used to repeat the words during mass as follows

Lord have mercy

Christ have mercy

Lord  have mercy

I wasn’t sure why we were asking God for mercy. I didn’t know about the war then and certainly did not know about the Holocaust nor about Stalin

Where my childish piccadillas so serious that I needed god’s mercy?

Sometimes my father beat me did he need god’s mercy? Well I realized later he had a cancer at that time and died when I was a so I think his bad behavior was caused by that. It didn’t happen very often but yes it was not a good thing and perhaps he did need a little mercy but nothing like the mercy that Hitler needed.

Of course you wouldn’t get god’s mercy unless you repented of your evil doing and Hitler showed no sign of repentance. I leave it to God to decide on his fate

What is happening in the world at the moment is terrible. It’s horrendous. From Gaza to the Ukraine to Sudan and many other places wars are being fought and lasting for a long time.

Having Donald Trump upend the relationships between all the countries in the world and cause great fear and terror especially in certain immigrants even when they’ve got permission to stay in the country long term.

It’s very hard to weigh up evil and to decide which is worse what is happening in the Ukraine or what is happening in Gaza their render us speechless and innumerate

Evil is unmeasurable because even killing one person is  destroying one entire world.

So now we do need to say the Keyrie

Determined to go to church on Sunday

My brother-in-law was traveling home today and as he couldn’t go to church before leaving, he broke his journey in a city in the Midlands where there is a cathedral and went to a service there!

Then he went home and drank a lot of beer.

He has not yet fed the 5,000!

What I thought they were saying in church when I was little

Ray Queer’s cat’s in parquet

Request cats get parts in play.

I forgive you your twins. But you must dissent when you can.

All unmarried versions please report to the press bitterly

Guardian angels leave heaven on sight.

Cheerio, Elaine’s son

Hail glorious St Hat Trick.
Lord, it’s hearsay.
Lord, I’m worser
Forgive all dear trespassers.
Blessed is the foot of thy broom.
Pay for us now and the whore at our death.
I believe in none,God.
The communion of tyrants

Criminals will be persecuted in rhyme
.
Jesus wants me for his angels.
The Ten Demanding Torments are here.
Have you paid for your wrecks yet?
For all the saints who laboured at their tests
For all the painted ghosts
Remember man thy tart is bust
Ash to ash,dust if you must
Forgive us an hour’s trespassing and we shall be in heaven
Please do as you would have fun by.

Do you resent both your sins ?

You are not allowed any descent from the church.

The mind needs just a hint to see the whole

The vital line was drawn with one brush stroke
The way the back leant curving into space
The dance and danger both are thus evoked

Like a play, a drama, fire and smoke
A dance performed so swiftly and with grace
The vital line was drawn with one brush stroke

The heavy bull is pounding,is provoked.
A threat, a man,  intrudes into his space
The dance and danger both are still evoked

See, the  matador throw out his cloak
A   dash of black, and here we see his face
The vital line was drawn with one brush stroke
The mind needs just a hint to  see the whole
We fill the present with our past distaste
The dance and danger, mirroring dark smoke
 Acting both dramatic and displaced 
The artist may still love what she forsakes 
The vital line was drawn with one brush stroke 
he dance and danger ,life and death evoked

Feeling sad and lonely, lost my mind

Feel so sad and lonely, lost my mind

I dreamed that I could buy one on the net

But now my eyes are bad I’m going blind

Folk that once did love me seem unkind

They don’t want the needy in their set

Feel so sad and lonely lost my mind

Someone’s cut the ties that used to bind

Waking up at dawn my mind’s afrit

My eyes are bad I think I’m going blind

God  have mercy on me and my kind

In the night I’m fearful of rat bites

I feel so sad and lonely, lost my mind

Get out out a pen and write while ink is wet

Make some words or draw – there is time yet

I feel so sad and lonely, lost my mind

Disabled, anxious, afraid of being blind

Getting old I have a sense of shame

Getting older suffering too much pain

Losing friends and family,lovers too

Struggling through the ice on cold terrains

Falling down and struggling up again

Feeling sad and lonely feeling blue

Getting older suffering too much pain 

Of all my rich full life what now remains?

Looking all around there is no clue

Struggling through The ice on this terrain

Why does suffering make us feel ashamed?

I still  engage with life and all that’s  new

Getting older suffering so much pain

Must we take our medicine when it’s due?

I thought that I was wise but have no clue

Getting older suffering so much pain

Struggling through this icy bleak terrain