Day: Apr 10, 2026

Love in Starbuck’s and the sequel

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Anita was sitttng in Starbucks drinking cafe latte.She gazed blankly out of the window until her eye fell on a handsome man passing by.Thud!She ran out to retrieve her big blue eye and put it back into its place

Are you ok,the man enquired suavely.

Yes,I am fine she said. calmly yet thrillingly

Are you doing anything tonight?

Only washing my eyes,she answered succintly, But it won’t take me long.

Would you like to have a meal with me?

She gazed pensively at his dark and mobile features.

I’ve not been to McDonald’s ever ,she whispered.

Very wise,I suggest that new Chinese place by the library.See you at 7 pm.I’m Tom.

Anita didn’t even know his full name but she was very keen to meet more men as she was 39

She went home and finished reading,”The Art of Loving” by Erich Fromm. should I also read .”The Joy of Sex” she ponderedor is it better to wait for it to happen and learn as you go?Besides she didn’t yet know and love Tom though he looked beguiling. Then she wondered what they might talk about. so she watched a precis of the news. and washed her hair with a new shampoo.Oh, she realised it was for leopards but it seemed to do wonders for her golden locks. What to wear?That was not a problem.She only owned one dress.It was amethyst coloured and had a wrapover front,the style which is attributed to Diane von Furtensburg though it was known in ancient Greece.Socrates may have worn one Anita had got hers from “Lands End” for £13 in a sale.It was a little clingy but she had a most beautiful figure.Or should she wear a pashmina to hide her curves? I don’t know Tom yet she thoughtWhen she arrived in black jeans and a white Tshirt toppped by a beige trenchcoatthere was her beau wearing identical clothes.~And his hair was the same colour as hers.

What sort of shampoo do you use,? she whispered seductively

Why,I use one for leopards.I bought it at the vets.

Wow,I have the same one.Do you think we are two persons who may share a soul as well?

I’m not sure,but I’ll share a Dover sole with you.

Do Chinese restaurants sell fish?

I’ll ask.

Do you do fish?

Of course the food is fresh.

Tom gave up and went back to Anita.

Where do you work?

I’m in the Foreign Office.

Are you a spy?

No,I’m a linguist.I speak seven languages.

How useful.But it would be good for a spy too to know many languages

What do you do?

I’m in the Home Office.

What exactly do you do?

I’m a translator,Glaswegian to English and suchlike,dialects and accents

Wow, we do similar things.

They gazed furtively into each others eyes.

Do you come here often.?

No,not really but I’d love to meet you again.

Why,thank you.would you like to come back for coffee.

Where do you live?

Just across the road in that new block of luxury flats near the train station.

OK,I’ll come.then.I live here over the restaurant.

How convenient.

How central.

how residential.

What potential

They went into her flat and fell over the cat which was asleep in the hall.

What’s her name?

Apassionata Sonata!

That’s unusual.

I call her Pashy for short.

Not so good for shouting out if she’s in the garden.

They sat down demurely on the mauve and pink sofa.

Where do you get your jeans from?

I got these from Gap but sometimes I get them from Topman

Oh,I got mine from Poetry by mail order

They are very atttractive on you.Or more correctly You look most attractive in them

Thank you.

May I caress your supine flesh?

Please do.How polite you are.

Where shall I start?

At the beginning

I don’t know your beginning.

Well,just guess.

He took her tapered hand and licked it with his tongue.Then he licked her lips.He could taste the sole.

Pass the salt please,he quipped. as he bit her ear lobe gently.

A tear of joy ran down her cheek and Tom licked it off very sensually.

How delicious, he muttered

You are so funny, Tom,she cried.I love you already.

Do you like being tickled anywhere and everywhere ?

No, but in your case I’ll make an exception.

Just then the doorbell rang loudly Anita opened the door of her flat as Tom hid behind the sofa with his jeans

and T shirt..

Hello,darling.Why are you in your underwear?

Hello,Mummy.I was feeling so hot!

Is that your wedding day underwear ?

Yes,Mummy,but since I’m now 39 years old I decided to begin wearing it.

Oh dear ,Anita,Are you giving up hope of romance?

No,she’s not!,cried Tom springing up from the back of the sofa wearing only underpants and a vest.

I was just about to propose but Anita wanted my view on her underwear and I wanted to show her mine.

Hello,I’m Mary.I love your underwear.Is it all silk?

Yes,it is ,said Tom,it’s very comfortable. Still thus clad he knelt down and propesed to Anita.He said she should save her golden underwear for their honeymoon and gave her an amethyst ring for their engagement.

How romantic ,said Mary as they both got dressed. I never expected to be present to hear this proposal.I feel very pleased you

allowed me to be here. I must rush home to tell her father and everyone else. When will you get married?

As soon as possible,Tom cried.I can’t wait to see her golden underwear again.Promise to save it.Anita

Of course I will,Tom.I’m so happy you liked it.

And did you like mine?

You would look good just wrapped in brown paper,Tom.I love you just as you are.

And I love you,Anita.

Just then someone rapped hard on the door.Was it her father?Wait and see

To sit by Mr Aneurin Bevan

When I die I am going to Heaven
To sit by Mr Aneurin Bevan
We will eat buttered Welsh cakes
Float in hot blue lakes
Oh final thought, how about Devon?

I wonder if I am perverted
For writing my poems with  ten verses
They say we’re post modern
And swearing’s forbidden
So are magic,religion and cursing.

I wonder if I  can be fluid
A man or a woman or druid?
I can be other
Since I have no mother
But what about rats in the sewage?

To economists we are just” Labour ”
We’re units when  once we were neighbours
Gender’s  quite useless
True  love is a nuisance
Capital  makes Money our Saviour

Why not  buy a new winter coat
Decorated with  the fur off a stoat
Weasels are  cheaper
Cats  purr and pierce you
As you sail ‘cross the Styx   in  a  boat

I thought I’d not marry again
I’m a feminist along with the men
But a m\n tried to hug me
And tickled my kidneys
He says I’m charming the snakes  into sin

But I think I am past getting wed
I just want to go straight to bed
Not just for the pleasure
Of getting his measure
No, it’s  just that  my organ’s half dead

I’d gaze into his eyes and feel good
As at last I’d feel  well understood
We don’t need to  chatter
About any matter
Nor scratch like the cat and draw blood.

I think my bed is too small
The headboard is stuck to the wall
The mattress collapses
As do my synapses
Who do you think  should call?

I’ve been untidy  ever since I was born
I lost mother’s breast  and her warmth
I’ve been looking forever
I got rather clever
Now I’ve lost my old man in the corn

In my genes

Some people are genetically bad at spelling.. or should that be geneticly bad at spelling.I must admit I was born with perfect spelling and pitch….but since using a wordprocessor I have gone into reverse and become less good,or even…. bad.Like the word genetically…if I write with a pen I have no problem.

Anyway I was an infant prodigy.As soon as I could sit up I found I knew the names of all my family and after a few weeks I could talk though my vocabulary was limited…I was 22 before I knew the word Fuck, and about 42 before I said it and that was when I set the chip pan on fire,so it seemed a reasonable response. Now I recall a phrase often used by the women when I was little

Lor’ love a dick………………….. sorry.. ….duck…….

Now I realise it was possibly what we call rhyming slang though I doubt if my mother knew.

Returning to spelling,it helps if you can read…so I was lucky being geneticly programmed to read by the age of two and to write after someone kindly gave me a pencil and paper when I was 17…Before that I had to write in the sand or on the wall.

I was also genetically born ticklish…I hate to be tickled… it’s not good to tickle children.. it’s as bad as hitting them

And I hate she sound of chalk on a blackboard.Now I have lost the plot and will end on a note of boastful triumph at self esteem bigger than theself esteem of Napoleon….and believe me,I’m not conceited at all.. not in the least.why… it was all in my genes you see,so no need for praise….narcissistic…. why,thank you,sweetie..I even spelled it write

My tart lies there

He cored his own stone.

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Klimt:Tree of life

Many a fickle lover’s tickled me like noone ever did galore.
He never blames except the whores.
As one bore flits another scarpers.
How many aisles to babble in ?
She loved him in her ungrown ways.
It’s a good way to tickle Mary.She’s my tart,so there!
Fool Britannia.
Here’s my number,Jack.I’m called Kay.
Twas the last blows of plumbers that ruined my pipes.
And for the final hymn,Full in the ranting arms of Joan.

Follwed by coffee in the church’s balls

Unless you’ve feet

We walk along the Pennine way some years
If farmers let the bulls out,we don’t care
I like stiles and jumping over walls
But then I’m not a man with stuff to haul
I like mountains,I like lakes and boats
I like being tickled as we float
I like sheep that follow me all day
Trying to find the perfect spot to pray
Up near Dent the sheep beg very well
They learn to knit while sitting on a Fell
In the winter Dent is somewhat cold
It feels more frosty to the very old
I’ll never go to Dent or Alston now
Unless the bull is gone and there’s a cow
I’ll never climb up Coniston Old Man
Nor meet Mary,Annie, Dave or Stan
They are in another kinder place
Where one the women made the famous lace
On the River Trent come down the Peak
Do not wear your shoes unless you’ve feet