Mary had heard a noise by the front door but when she got there she couldn’t see anyone at all.

Suddenly Emile bit  her on the ankle. Fortunately his teeth were not very sharp

What has made you so exquisitely charming today, she enquired in a rather sarcastic manner?

Well you are not usually sarcastic, mother. I was shocked.

I’m just practicing being passive aggressive, Mary informed him excitedly.

There’s a book out by Martin Kantor all about it.

Why read a book about passive aggression when you could read a novel by Howard Jacobson?

Now, Emile you are a cat are you telling me that you read novels in your spare time?

Yes I do because Stan taught me to read but maybe you have forgotten about that.

No I have not forgotten it just slipped my memory for a moment. Yes Stan was a big help

He wanted to prove that cats were equally intelligent to human beings but because of their different bodies and they have to use their intelligence in a different way.

Is there some reason why you are studying psychology or it just a way of passing the time,mother?

I’ve got many ways of passing the time such as knitting, cooking, reading the life of Bertrand Russell etc. also I could play the piano if I bought a piano But sometimes it’s nice to interact with another being even if it’s only your cat.

That’s very hurtful  to put in cats into a category inferior to human beings.

I know perfectly well  cats are not inferior in a general sense but perhaps  cats that live in houses where human beings  dwell might be thought of as inferior because they don’t earn money.

But then children don’t normally earn money in this country and in particular babies don’t earn anything at all and yet they are extremely demanding.

Do you think that every relationship is transactional?

No of course I don’t but a lot of people in our society do, not to mention people in the United States such as Sebald Lumpe.

Well it’s very kind if you just speak to me.; we have decided to go outside and play in the garden.

Who is this we that you are talking about?

Why don’t you mind your own business?

Thank you for being so direct. I will

And so will all of us