Hypothermia made me write so well
The pen froze to my hand and would not leave
They’ve offered me a job dry cleaning Hell

Just in case my head should start to swell
I made myself a hat from dried brown leaves
Hypothermia made me write real well

The government is giving us free bells
So they will ring whenever we’re deceived
They’ve offered me a job dry cleaning Hell

Hell is very fiery but with gel
I can get it clean from all disease
Hypothermia made me write,oh very well

I tell a lie, the cold invades my cells
I can’t clean out a bottle in a breeze
They’ve offered me a job dry cleaning Hell

My husband is asthmatic, he can wheeze
He has inhalers as his lungs will tease
Hypothermia made me write so well

They’ve offered me a column, what the hell