Teacher why have you brought a cat to school?
So he can learn to read
He can’t even talk.
I’m not going to get him to read out loud
Why have you brought a frog to school,
Because I was coming to school when I found him.
Well don’t come to school via the Bullring tomorrow
Teacher to girl why have you got a curtain ring on your finger?
It won’t fit on my toe
Why have you got a hat on in the classroom?
I wear it outside as well.
Are you Jewish?
I’m not sure but I thought I’d practise the rituals
Surely your parents must know whether you’re Jewish.
They’ve not been speaking for the last 10 years.
The should go to a marriage guidance counsellor.
They’ve not got married yet.
And how old are you?
I must be at least 9 months.
If you were 9 months old you wouldn’t be able to talk.
There’s always a first time for everything.
But you’d be a newborn baby.
Can’t they talk?
Have you never seen a newborn baby?
Yes I have seen them when my mother gives birth and she says to them I’ll never have sex again.
And what o1¹ they say?
It’s too late now
How my heart sings 