One day Mary decided to take an IQ test. To be completely honest ,it was her best friend Annie who wanted her to take the test because she believed that Mary was the most intelligent person in Knittingham
Mary foundthe test rather boring but she completed it in four hours approximately.
Then Annie marked it for her using a booklet supplied with the test
You have got a score of 65 she said souvnding annoyed
The average score is 98, 65 makes you an imbecile.
How on earth did you learn to read and write when you are an imbecile?
Well Mary told her in a kind voice
The main point is I did not know that I was an imbecile and so I just learned to read the way all the other children did and since my father did ornamental gold lettering in churches, I must have inherited is talent for beautiful handwriting.
Why don’t we have a nice hot cup of tea said Annie thoughtfully.
She had always believed that Mary was more intelligent than she was but now it seems that Mary was just more hard-working and had a stronger desire to learn
I think because Mary wore glasses she thought to herself she must have lhought she had to be an intellectual. After all people never read books rarely wear spectacles although that may change now with the advent of modern technology.
Emile was very puzzled because neither of the women had dialled 999 for an ambulance today and he was very keen to see Dave the paramedic and to find out how he was coping with the hot weather.
So he bit Mary on the leg
You imbecile, she shouted.
Well that’s a compliment said the cat because you are an imbecile and yet you have been to university and got two degrees.
Twi degrees of what he thought to himself but as he was a cat he was used to keeping secrets and so he did not say anything
In fact he was relieved because he thought that as Mary had two degrees her temperature must be low and therefore she was not getting sepsis.
Because when you get sepsis your temperature usually rises rapidly and dangerously although occasionally it can fall very low and at the same time as that the blood pressure drops.
The organs begin to struggle and indeed wherln Mary had sepsis she did not pass any urine for 36 hours which was very fortunate because she was on a trolley in the corridor all that time.
Similarly she is delighted when she friend have blood pressure was low not realizing it was a sign of danger
After all many older people feel their doctor would only be happy if their blood pressure was zero. And if they were dead well does it really matter? After all like Mary maybe I’m an imbecile too.
So don’t worry about your intelligence level because
imbeciles r us
It’s interest, enthusiasm, desire and work that get you to somewhere worth going to.
As long as you can read and write the world is your oyster or you don’t like horses replace it with your own favorite food although it doesn’t sound very wise to say the world is your Weetabix all the world is your meringue so please let me know what you would like me to put instead of oyster
We think we are unique, special and deserving of happiness, but we are terrified of being alone. We declare that personal freedom and autonomy is both a right and good, but we think anyone who exercises that freedom autonomously is ‘sad, mad or bad’. Or all three at once.
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Sara Maitland Quotes – Goodreads
How my heart sings 