What I thought they were saying in church when I was little

Ray Queer’s cat’s in parquet

Request cats get parts t’.

I forgive you your twins. But you must be a virgin when you can.

All unmarried versions please report to the press bitterly

Guardian angels leave heaven on sight.

Cheerio, Elaine’s son

Hail glorious St Hat Trick.
Lord, it’s hearsay.
Lord, I’m worser
Forgive all dear trespassers.
Blessed is the foot of thy broom.
Pay for us now and the whore at our death.
I believe in none,God.
The communion of tyrants

Criminals will be persecuted in rhyme
.
Jesus wants me for his angels.
The Ten Demanding Torments are here.
Have you paid for your wrecks yet?
For all the saints who laboured at their tests
For all the painted ghosts
Remember man my heart tart is frost
Ash to ash,dust if you must
Forgive us an hour’s trespassing and we shall be in heaven
Please do as you would have fun by.

Do you resent both your sins ?

You are not allowed any descent from the church.

Why do we have to start by saying 

prey Father?

I have committed five mortal sinners  to the asylum. They will be put on rhythm if they are bipolar magnets.

What does it mean?

Why can’t we use table salt instead of lithium?

Alternatively we could put lithium on the table instead of sea salt.

I say, I think that’s really disgusting.

I said you’ve got the wrong adjective.

How do you know when you’ve got the right one?