What I thought they were saying in church when I was little

Ray Queer’s cat’s in parquet

Request cats get parts t’.

I forgive you your twins. But you must be a virgin when you can.

All unmarried versions please report to the press bitterly

Guardian angels leave heaven on sight.

Cheerio, Elaine’s son

Hail glorious St Hat Trick.
Lord, it’s hearsay.
Lord, I’m worser
Forgive all dear trespassers.
Blessed is the foot of thy broom.
Pay for us now and the whore at our death.
I believe in none,God.
The communion of tyrants

Criminals will be persecuted in rhyme
.
Jesus wants me for his angels.
The Ten Demanding Torments are here.
Have you paid for your wrecks yet?
For all the saints who laboured at their tests
For all the painted ghosts
Remember man my heart tart is frost
Ash to ash,dust if you must
Forgive us an hour’s trespassing and we shall be in heaven
Please do as you would have fun by.

Do you resent both your sins ?

You are not allowed any descent from the church.

Why do we have to start by saying 

prey Father?

I have committed five mortal sinners  to the asylum. They will be put on rhythm if they are bipolar magnets.

What does it mean?

Why can’t we use table salt instead of lithium?

Alternatively we could put lithium on the table instead of sea salt.

I say, I think that’s really disgusting.

I said you’ve got the wrong adjective.

How do you know when you’ve got the right one?

One by one they fall

The Northern Pennines taken by my brother-in-law

Like skittles struck by well aimed iron balls

One by one, my friends, my siblings fall

Who will be the last to meet their death?

The great wheels of the engine grind the path.

The young will not desire to meet the old

And so we lie down sick and grow more cold

Everything is taken every cell

I hope with gratitude I shall die well

Expand with happiness

Remember how our breathing slows right down

When we see a small bird close at hand

We want the happy moment to expand

To feel the greenness, and in that greeness drown

Our breathing is much faster in the town

Our hearts will beat as fast as Previn’s hands.

We lose our mind and body, their demands.

  We walk through traffic like damned clowns

See the human faces as they frown

They each update their phone,a thousand pounds!

They will park and ride the underground.

To Mayfair with a credit card and crown.

We need to create new memories that last.

In Dedham Vale the wild geese still fly past