When Mary opened the door she found a large marmalade Maine coon cat asleep on her porch I’m surprised that the scent of Emile has not deterred this marmalade cat from taking up residence on the porch in the early morning sunshinezl she melurmured to herself
The cat opened his yellow eyes and glared angrily at Mary.
Alright then be so horrible if you want to be she cried out almost silently in an angry whisper
My goodness I must be getting cognitive decline to speak to a cat like that she thought to herself. I had better not tell Annie or she will be worried that I might say something like that to a human being
She left the door open and went into the kitchen to make some tea and then she noticed that the cat was walking through the front door into the hall walking on her new blue shaggy wool carpet. She could not ask him to take his shoes off as cats don’t normally wear shoes. Would a cat wear slippers if requested? Perhaps she could start a shop selling slippers for cats but then when we have to think about the claws. The problems that women have to deal with now or so enormous it’s a wonder we manage to do anything at all
Hello, she said, what do you want?
That’s not very friendly, said the cat. My name is Francisco and I live next door to you. I’ve only been there for a week and I don’t like it but I thought that you’ve got a very nice cat and so I wondered if I could come and spend some time here?
Of course you can send Mary. Would you like some tea on a saucer?
Yes replied the orange cat, and by the way my name is Marco. Changed your name already?
Marco began to drink the tea when suddenly Emile came in from the back garden through his cat flap
Is this orange cat a visitor mother he called out to Mary.
How many times do I have to tell you that I am not your mother Mary told him sincerely with a toxic severity.
It depends on whether you’re taking it literally or metaphorically Emile called out affectionately
Well well said Marco I like you Emile you sound very intelligent.
I am living next door but the people are dull and boring.
We don’t know them said Mary because they’ve been living there for a few months but they’ve not been round and when we went to welcome them they didn’t answer the door
Perhaps they’ve got social phobia Marco said.It’s not unusual now; men and women can earn a living online without leaving the house at all and they can have their groceries delivered and so on so it’s easier for them to live with their neurosis than it would have been 40 years ago
You can only cure your phobia when your desire to go somewhere or your need to earn money it’s so powerful that you are impelled to leave the house and travel while taking your fear with you in a small bag or even a very large bag depending on how afraid you are.
For example one of my friends wanted to go to Compendium bookshop in Camden town.
She was so keen to go there that she traveled for more than one hour on a bus to do it and she was rewarded by finding the novels of Carol Shields before they were published in this country. Because that bookshop imported them from North America.
After she made the journey 10 times she began to feel less frightened and eventually she lost her fear altogether. Probably somewhere in Camden town!
That’s very interesting the two cats said in unison
Then they both ran out into the garden while mewing and purring simultaneously
Mary sat down on her kitchen chair and thoughts about what Stan her late husband would have said about the advent of another cat. So she didn’t need to feed the marmalade coloured arrival. He would get fed in his own home and he would just come to her when he wanted some tea or possibly coffee although I’ve never seen a cat drinking coffee yet she thought to herself
Suddenly the doorbell rang and in ran Dave the paramedic. Mary had not seen him for a long time.
He was wearing a beautiful green dress covered in impressions of shapes of leaves and flowers
Is that you your new uniform Mary asked him punctiliously?
No I’m not working today so I thought I would call in because I’m not seeing you for a long time. Does this mean that you’re no longer need the emergency services?
Well you might just have thought so but no I’ve got an extra cat coming in here it’s possible that he might need the emergency services because he’s living next door with two withdrawn isolated technophiles and he is very unhappy.
Well who do you want to help the cat or the people Dave asked her thoughtfully?
I think at the moment we’ll just stick to the cat.
Here you are Dave have a cup of tea it’s nice to see you again after so long and I’m sure I’ll soon be needing to ring 999 I can feel my bladder contracting already at the prospect of another attack of cystitis.
Please don’t get that just to keep me in employment Dave shouted nervously.
I would prefer it if you were well and if I just came in to you socialy to show you my new clothing and to see whether you would like a dress like this?
Oh well that’s very nice of you Mary told him surreptitiously and wildly
I wish that Stan were here. He was always delighted to see you and he was very glad that you were there with him at the end
Yes it was a privilege said Dave. I always remember the last thing he said
So many lovely friends.
A tear came into Mary’s eye.
And so cry all of us
How my heart sings 