Brandy,in gin mixed with shandy

My friend called and asked for hot tea.
I said,dearest it’s alright by me.
You ought to drink brandy
In gin mixed with shandy…
but unethical tea is quite free

I like to know people’s desires..
Some like to collect copper wires;
some collect wool
and others tease bulls…
I soon will try playing with fire

Did you know that nude shoes are the fashion
Kate Middleton wears them with passion
but the Times says, go flat.
Your shoes not your hat.
A ball gown and trainers looks dashin’

Catholics must not enjoy sex…
Whatever will the Pope think of next?
Recreation with balls,
is not for us all..
I so do feel angry and vexed

St Augustine thought babies had sinned
As they came out of the vagina not in.
They might never know
but it’s wicked even so…..
A pity they are not sent out in a tin.

God can’t make any tinned goods.
Like leopards cannot chew the cud.
Ravines don’t rave
Nor canyons’s behave….
and hearth stones will never give blood