Old man,bending over, arched like a fallen moon in a dark lilac November sky. joy and pain wrestle my heart across the emptiness and toss it up like a damp rocket to fall in a hidden corner where mice live. Would that not be a good ending,to be dust to these little creatures nesting in my chewed green twine and my tartan basket? They have eyes and shiver in my hand when I rescue them from the cat… as any heart might. Now night falls on the newspaper basket where the damp Times and the Guardian mix into glue and tomorrow the sun will rise and it will just be the garbage with no poetic undertones nor deathly hushes.. Heather and a silver light you stand on a hill top like a god looking over his domain. Strong and now weak it’s the humane condition Everlasting life is too dangerous for humans. Silent,motionless,home of beetles bit by bit we fall away into the mother soil with cracked jugs and dropped coins for a future academic to dig into. Transparent hand touches me. Whose might it be
Annie went onto Mary’s patio at 10 am and began to water her many tubs.The watering can was filled with rain water though the weather was now a little drier.Emile ran behind her admiring her tight black jeans from Calvin Klein and her red blouse from Bowlands of Wrath.Suddenly the bedroom window opened and Mary leaned out. Hi Annie,I have not gone away after all. Why not? asked her caring and dear neighbour Well,I completely forgot because I was out last night meeting a man from Soul-mates and got home so late I slept right through the alarm. A pity you didn’t bring him back,said Anniem licking her lips. I can’t bring any man here so soon,Mary informed her.I rang the hotel and cancelled my booking.With the weather so odd even Blackpool Illuminations would not cheer anyone up.I didn’t know which clothes to take either. Isn’t it interesting that as we get better off we get problems like that,remarked Annie. When we were young we had so few clothes we had no trouble packing. Mary laughed.My first year after University I bought two cotton dresses in Woolworth’s.I thought they were ok but later discovered they were almost transparent.Anyway I wore themn But now few women wear dresses.Look at you in those jeans and you a pensioner! Annie gazed up to Mary, revealing her thick Revlon skin polish and L’Oreal cream rich foundation in golden grey-beige.Her parted lips were coated in moisture rich coral lipstick by Mussolini and Co. of Argentina and Vienna. Mary was wearing a long nightgown made of pure nylon decorated with photos of cats of all breeds.Emile had given it her for her birthday.He had managed to type it into the google box on his laptop paying with Stan’s credit card from the Bank of Vichy and Nice,France. I want some tea,Mary said.Soon she appeared in a polyester house dress from Daxon of Paris and the Ruhr. lt was covered in pictures of snakes. Why,those snakes are rather horrible, Annie said. I know snakes are in fashion but I shall avoid them.I saw some trousers in Marks but they might give a man the wrong impression. That is sexist ,Mary told her shyly.They might give a lesbian the wrong impression too. Oh,dear. Isn’t life hard now when we have to be so careful what we say.I wonder if it is because of social alienation and the rapid changes in demographics that we need rules when before we knew all our neighbours and they knew us.With strangers we need more rules. I agree, said Mary defiantly.And I just saw a book called “Compassionate Assertiveness Training”She laughed. Shall we send one to Donald Trump.Can you believe what America is like if a man like that can be President? Well,it’s a democracy so if Satan lived there he could stand if he had the money.. The two women suddenly fell silent.Emile was puzzled as they rarely paused like this once they got going Is he the anti-Christ, purred the little cat. Satan or Donald Trump? asked Annie. Well …. we’ve never seen Satan as yet…But we must watch out in case he comes here to punish the weak and the sick. Well that gave them all a moment of wonder before Mary grilled some bacon and cut some bread from a loaf she got in the Victoria Bakery. Here you are,she said to Annie,handing her a sandwich.Better eat anyway,whatever happens.Give me some hot tea,quick And so pray all of us. For he’s a Bally Woodfiller, He’s a Wooly Sad Triller And all day so are us.
When you are learning something new the first step in learning a skill such as knitting or cooking is to decide the answer to the following question it’s also appliance to learning mathematics and other games
What will I do when I make a mistake?
This is important because we may have been brought up to feel that everyone can do everything right straight away as soon as they’ve been told how to do it. Then it’s a horrible shock when you find you can’t do the algebra equation or the cake comes out flat
In that situation any mistake is a disaster.
When you are learning from mathematics you have to accept that when you try to solve a problem you will have to evaluate it as you go along and even before you get near the end you may decide that you don’t like the method you’ve chosen because maybe you can tell it’s not going to give you the kind of answer that will be sensible or its an ugly methid; it’s not beautiful
If ourse when you first start you don’t know what is beautiful and there’s no definition of what is beautiful in mathematics it’s something that you will gradually learn as you do it or you will never learn it because you get up or it’s not important to you
If you learning knitting you have to decide your attitude.
If you know you will make mistake she will quite calmly stop, examinine and probably undo a few stitches and then start again
It’s a to and fro
I can’t say exactly what it’s like for art but I think you’re constantly evaluating what you’re doing and developing an instinct
No doubt if you constantly produce horrible ugly images that you don’t like and and that nobody else likes then maybe you’re doing the wrong thing but if you have a strong desire to do it then you should just keep on regardless of what other people think
In something as difficult as art it’s probably better to go to a teacher to start with.Abd many people don’t want to produce something original they just want to copy something which pleases them.
I think there’s a proverb
The time to make preparations is before you begin And deciding what you will do when you make a mistake is part of the preparation
My following this method I was able to knit a Shetland lace sweater which I would never have been courageous enough to try if I thought that I had to do it right all the time and in fact the two and the fro of forwards and backwards led to a feeling of peace and calmne
Of course you can’t make a mistake when you are bringing up children in certain situations for example you can’t let the children play with the carving knives and then when they’re stabbed themselves decide that you’ve got to go back and start again because you can’t do that when somebody’s been injured
So they must be rules as well so that when you’re doing something you must consider if it’s dangerous to other people.
And if you have children you must teach this to them as well
In teaching in the classroom or at home punishing people for making mistakes is not in the long run going to make them learn well
When red sun drops and cooling night rolls in Darkness masks both danger and our vision Ancient minds fear day won’t come again Courage for the delicate seems thin We wrestle with our indecision When low sun drops and a new night rolls in But now , fresh stricken by the dread of sin Who protects us from derision? Our ancient mind fears day won’t come again As we sleep we’re entertained within Bold dreams squander all illusion When sunset comes the darkest night rolls in In dreams we see new life arising Then fancy turns to full communion The ancient mind dreads day won’t come again Despite such angst, our sacred life began When sperm leaped up in proud confusion. When deep sun dropped and a new night rolled in All human hearts cried,Day shall come again”
How my heart sings 