Day: March 20, 2025

I have not realised before

I have not realised before that my Jaw is like the jaw of an animal

Until I run my finger along my teeth and on

I had not realised my job was like that if a  carnivore

The top jaw is level but the lower jaw drops down to snatch its prey

It’s strange that we don’t inhabit our bod

I’ve only realised recently that my stomach is much higher up then I thought it was my esophagus shorter

That frightening territory of the stomach and bowels is quite near the heart

The area that causes pain to children and others with toilet training and eating food you don’t like etc I wanted to keep that at a distance I think

In fact I ate very little and  having been born prematurely was briefly grievously at risk

Life is a risk being alive that is and being conscious of being alive.

And how we misuse the body. How we don’t breathe, how we tense the muscles.

How we don’t allow the body to control itself as it must do because our conscious brain doesn’t even know the map of everything

It’s the way we’re told you’re very naughty to wet your knickers as if you deliberately waited until you could not control yourself rather than being kept waiting in a queue for the one toilets in the nursery

This animal this body

Let us  inhabit our body with kindness; let us give ourselves up to our bodies and keep our brains silent.

Animals are not wicked like humans can be equally they are not so loving.

Could the love and tje hate weave together into something new and different?

Yes into the silence of the fictional future let us walk together

What more can anybody say?

The beige life of Stan

cats-staring-3

Mary lifted her orange  cast iron cooking pot out of the oven.
“This pot is much too heavy ,”she informed her dear  old husband,Stan.
But what else can I use for my Beef in Beer and my Braised Beef with Ginger?
I can’t think, he replied imaginatively yet timidly  
But Mary had already seen  and loved a red cast aluminium casserole dish in  the Ironmongers online
You know, we’ve not bought a new pan for years, she cried thoughtlessly.
Well,I’ve managed alright, he murmured, we have two copper pans and three stainless steel ones and the pyrex glass ovenware
But I want something  fancy I can put on the table.I feel the urge to invite someone round
Emile was hiding by the pan rack, wondering what cast aluminium might be
I hope you won’t drop this pot on me, he mewed plaintively
Have I ever dropped the Le Creuset one on you.Don’t answer as if I had you would be dead
You are being very blunt today,Stan remarked politely yet pointedly
Oh, dear.I am sorry if I hurt you.I just recalled all the stews I used to make and inviting in anyone who happened to  walk by.Now we don’t ask people in,I liked it before… life was slower then
Well, if you want to get some  bright new pots or dishes I’m  not complaining.I know you bave back pain and you like colour.Get a colourful pot or two and we can give the  heavy ones away.A younger person will love them.
Why, asked ~Annie their neighbour who  had just got in through the larder window despite being  almost as obese as the PM
She was dressed in  a champagne   coloured, waisted. long padded jacket  with purple trousers and pink trainers with   coral soles which matched her lipstick from Cats Factor of Wigan and Darwen.
Her foundation cream was ivory beige from Eve St Torment of Paris,Southport and Glasgow.
You look pale,darling, Stan declared tenderly
Oh,damn and blast,I knew I should  have got medium beige.
What?
It’s my makeup.
You look nice with nothing on, he said  happily though tactlessly.
What about me,asked Mary faintly?
You always look stunning, he whispered.I am just flattering Annie as she looks depressed
No wonder with you as her   companion.She should get someone who is not married.
I tell her that, but i am old and I would be alone all day while you were teaching Babylonian Logic and  Solomon’s Temple  or maybe Wittgenstein and the need for Silence
I know I am tired when I get home, she said urbanely
Emile fell off the table and broke a bit off Stan’s chair
OMG ring 999, Stan screamed
Calm down, said Annie.I can  mend it with superglue
All these years calling out Dave and you could have fixed it.Why did you not say?
Well,I lack confidence, she muttered, except about clothes and lipstick
Emile had secretly phoned 999 and soon  the doorbell rang
In ran Dave, the talented and much loved paramedic.
What’s wrong, he cried gaily
Just the arm broke off this chair,Mary moaned.I feel faint
How would you  have managed in the War, he asked.
Breaking a chair should not
affect you.
I  forgot to take my felopidine, she informed him.Will I have a heart attack?
Go and get it now.No, missing one dose is ok but more than one puts you at risk
Stan looked at his  beautiful wife and her face like a mediaeval painting
You are so brave, Mary, living with those spasms.
What choice do I have ,she whispered? I submit to the will of God
I wish you’d submit to my will,Stan compained loudly  yet sensitively
I will, shouted Annie
Not  here,Mary said,At least have the decency to go  into the greenhouse
But people can see in, Annie muttered
I thought you might like that!
Well,I would not.I’ll come tomorrow she shouted, as she ran out and slammed the door
She’s upset; she went to Wigan for some makeup and she got the wrong shade of be=ge
How many shades of beige are there,asked Dave?
You should know,Stan cried.You wear make up sometimes
I always like more  information
Well it’s not fifty. as  that would cause confusion
And take up too much space on the  pharmacy counter.
Why  some of us  are called white  when we are just beige light or medium I do not know
And nor do all of us including those labelled as black
Life is not black and white except for the immature
Alas, many of us are.Very.

Mary is insulted and assaulted

img_20190312_133113866

Mary was feeling very bad tempered.Wearing her good brown coat without its fake fur collar she had ventured into Waterbones Bookshop.Putting her crutch against the wall she sat down on a small metal folding chair for a few minutes., pondering whether to buy a book for £20 or to go into Boots and buy some foundation cream and pink nail varnish
Suddenly a young woman approached and said in a strangely peremptory manner
If you want to sit down, you will have to go upstairsâl
I can’t get up the stairs Mary told her truthfully.You have no lift
Well, you are next to the Crime Section, it is very popular
There’s nobody here right now.So if people come I shall have left
No,get up cried the assistant
As the woman seemed unable to leave her alone, Mary left the shop.She decided to use Amazon.
So much for protecting her High Street!
As she approached her home. a neighbour came by and said a very offensive few sentences.Maybe she had an aversion to women
In the evening Mary received a text
I realise I offended you.I was in a hurry.Apologies.
After a few days Mary replied
I am sorry I could not stay to allow you to insult me further.I am in severe pain when standing still.If you wish to verbally attack me or insult me please invite me to your house and let me sit down .Then you can ring 999 and ask for Dave.
Later on Dave the transexual,transvestite and transforming paramedic ran in with a chocolate cake in his hand.He wore his denim dress with a yellow pinny decorated with embroidered ladybirds and some pink velvet shoes he had just got in the Market
Would you like me to make you a cup of tea,Mary? Where’s Annie? Dave said anxiously
Annie is down in Brighton for the weekend.She wants to see the sea,Mary lied
What’s wrong with Sheringham? Dave asked thoughtlessly?
She liked the shops in the Brighton.She likes to wander aimlessly about the lanes bumping into men now and then,Mary cried ironically
She could be arrested and imprisoned,Dave said untherapeutilcally
The men don’t seem to mind! Mary muttered loudly with envy on her voicel
You look pale,Mary,Dave whispered into her ear.Are you ok?
No , she murmured.Why are people so cruel to me?
Why not hit one with your stick, he suggested brilliantly
I am a pacifist and anyway they might hit me, back she thought out loud
How about :The gentle art of verbal self defence? I saw you read it/
I’d rather kick them, she answered pointedly
Now I have an idea,said Dave.I’ll put a suit on and accompany you out to the town
I can’t believe I need a “man” to protect me, she said in a low voice
But I am not a “man”, he cried desperately
Are you ” other” she queried
I am all and nothing, he said in a puzzled tone.
Are you God? she said in a sudden panic
Not yet, he cried.It’s Emile who is to be the New Messiah
No, mewed Emile.I am still not fully converted to Judaism.It is complex.
Well, get a move on.We can’t keep living the way we are,Mary sighed
Would you like to walk on water in this weather, the cat answered . Many are called and a few are frozen, he continued philosophically.
It would make a change, from the Gaza protests, Dave cried
I wish the PM would try it,Mary giggled fervently.Would her leopard skin shoes get wet?
We will never know.She’s into ankle boots now.
Next it will be knee high boots
Heil Theresa…..
Heil Boris
Who’d have Brexited that?
Send us peace in our rhymes,Lord