Janet Malcolm Understood the Power of Not Being ‘Nice’ https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/12/magazine/janet-malcolm-nice.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

Over the rows of conventional housing

Boring in one sense though everyone has made their garden different

And overhead hangs the wild East Anglian sky

The difference is frightening to the conventional suburban person

The worst sin in suburbia is keeping rubbish in your front yard

Leaving your lawn mower out all night when it’s electric and therefore expensive and dangerous

Not having nice curtains on your front windows

And paint peeling of your front door like your skin after you’ve had chicken pox

If we could we suburban women would change the sky into a conventional drawing with lines around each cloud separating them from the others

We can put up fences against our neighbours but we can’t put one up against the sky and

We don’t mind the rainbows or even the thunderclouds occasionally but these wild blue and yellow and grey skies they make us feel uncomfortable

Why  did we not build towns too match the sky?

No one ever did but we don’t know why

They remind us of the unconscious mind

Although we’ve never heard of it but we’ve tried to keep it behind a boundary behind a fence or even a Berlin wall

But in the end it defeats them all

On the thinner branches small birds  swing

Creating joy and beauty as they sing.

Swaying in the wind yet not afraid

This picture is in my mind and will not fade.

The holly tree is dense with prickled leaves

Such haven for the sparrows needs no weave

The collared doves prefer the maple tree

Elegant yet plump they love a breeze

On the path  below my black cat walks

I make a daisy chain

fat flowers and stalks

I have not seen the celandine this year..

Glossier than a buttercup by far

Doctor can I have some therapy
I can’t like all these others whom I see.
I need to move to  better contexts soon
Gee, I sense  there is impending doom

Well, how much does it cost, what’s the  full fee?
Can you cure me if I work with you?
Will I need to dream in colour now
Or can we keep it sepia somehow?

I just say whatever comes to me
Free associations  cause us glee
I have been in therapy  before.
That resulted in the last World War

I still can’t like the others  but Freud said
Misery’s not quite madness when you’re dead.

Nuts Cottage
87 Rubbish Walks
Stampedia
North Norfolk
NWe 0MG pie
Dear Mary

How are you getting on with your new logic book? Mine is going well as having grown up doing my homework while my brother played ” The Ride of the Valkyries” full blast all night demanded I do his maths homework and some Latin I find with the TV on some rubbish programme I can really concentrate well
On the other hand I might be writing rubbish.
The main things seems to be to avoid writer’s block. whereas in the past it was to avoid writing rubbish,Funny how popular the word rubbish is nowadays.
When we believed in God we had Cathedrals,plainsong and Byrd.Now we have Malls.Coffee Shops and Muzak.And rubbish.We are rubbish too
Surely to get writer’s block would be an advantage as it would lead to reverie and dreams or maybe going on Tinder and seeing how many people in the town are looking for….Rubbish connections.
My optician said not to go looking for men.With my eyesight I’d no doubt be chatting up a traffic cone.I don’t think that’s what he meant,Real men don’t like women running after them which is lucky.I can’t run nowadays,I could limp after one!
He said his mother did get married again but she wasn’t seeking it actively.So she said.Would she have told her son?
Definitely not.Well, that’s my view.Take it or leave it.Agree or argue,Talk or walk.Who can falsify his theory? Popper died.So they say.

I think I must be drunk with happiness.I’ll write again to tell you the plot of my novel.Basically,it’s total rubbish dressed up with a few sexual innuendos,These days innuendo seems quite out of date.Old fashioned.Like courting and engagement.Now we start in bed and end up in Court.
Well, try phoning me or you’ll keep getting more rubbish letters

Byeee

Annette

Stan was feeling puzzled. He stood in his front room staring at the rowan tree outside.
Do ants fall in love, he asked himself.
Are swans the most beautiful birds?
Shall I send Annie a card tomorrow?
Should I send Mary one as well?
He went outside and watched the ants running up and down the tree trunk. They seem to work so hard but they never get bored.
But is that true? We have no way of knowing. At last Stan has found a question with no answer.
Is boredom a unique quality of humans?
If that were so we ought to have a Patron Saint of Boredom though not of Bores.
Why are some people so boring?
Luckily Annie had seen Stan and rushed out in a teal coloured all wool dress made more striking by having butterfly motifs scattered on it at random.
“Why have you got those butterflies on your clothes ?” he asked her scientifically
“It’s to cover up the moth holes.”She pertly replied.
“You must have a lot of moths. Do moths fall in love? Do they get bored?”
“You seem in a funny mood today,” Annie murmured.
“Why don’t we go out for coffee?”
“I’ve just made a pot full. Please join me.”
“Thank you,” she cried mildly.
They sat down in the kitchen where Emile was sitting by the window.
“Good morning,Emile,”Annie shouted.
“No need to shout,” Emile miaowed politely.”I’m not deaf”.
“I am sorry, Emile.” she responded furtively,” I am over-excited.”
“Why is that? Stan demanded like an untrained philosopher in a maths class
“Well, I’ve already had ten Valentines.
“Already. You must have done it fast!” he teased her gently.
“No, you horrible idiot. I mean cards.
“You must be popular”
“Some look like women’s writing.”
“Let me see,” he asked swiftly.
To his surprise, one was in the handwriting of his wife Mary.
“Are you bisexual?” he asked her wonderingly.
“No, I’m just annissexual,” she replied saucily.
“What does that mean?”
“Well, it’s just one letter away from “Anti-sexual.”
“That’s a relief. You are not anti yet, then.”
“Not yet”, she whispered coyly.
“Would you make love to a woman?”
“Only if she made love to me.”
Mmmmmm
.Apparently seeing lesbian movies turns men on.do you watch them?”
“Not bloody likely,I want to get turned off.”
“That could be boring,” she said sweetly as she combed his eyebrows with an old toothbrush.
“Well,I could do the polishing better and get the house sorted out. Fill the freezer with casseroles and defrost the oven.
Yes, though would that be so rewarding as loving another human?
“I guess not” he answered slavishly.
“Shall we go to your place and have a cuddle.
OK
Emile was very put out as he liked to see people kissing but he had grown very philosophical over the years and at least he could get on with his book,
“Wittgenstein’s cat.”
He switched on the netbook and began to type:
“Not everyone knows how important cats were in philosophy. But now we can reveal all.
The saying,
“Of that which we cannot speak, we must miaow” was inspired by Daisy who lived in Cambridge
And,” Of that which we cannot purr we must yowl.” was inspired by Ludo, a fine male cat that lived with Wittgenstein in Ireland.
So as Emile types, we must tiptoe away for he has not much time

Let’s make the most of it

Only learn nonsense if it’s written by Lewis Carroll

When we were at school some of us came across a little geometry probably concerning triangles squares circles etc and I learned something valuable not from the teacher but from the other girls when we were 16 years old.

We had spent a long time studying Pythagoras’ theorem

And when we sat our O level exam  one of the questions was to prove Pythagorasy theorem for which they kindly provided a triangle

The triangle had three points labeled A,B,C.

So I thought that’s an easy question when you spent probably two or four weeks studying this theorem

After the examination was over I was talking to some of my friends and one of them said to me I couldn’t prove pythagoas theorem.

Because in the textbook it was labeled

X,Y,Z

Maybe I was naive to think that the proof did not depend on the letters that we used to denote the points of the triangle.

This was the A stream in a  convent grammar school.

So everybody must have had an IQ above 120 if that means anything which I don’t believe it does by the way. IQ is not really very significant or importance which is fortunate because the last time I did a test I got 65 when a hundred is the average.

I think I must be an imbecile how amazing this i managed to get a degree

If several girls { probably more than half the class} were not able to answer the question because they had learnt the answer by memory they did nothing to understand what they were doing.

Furthermore they didn’t know that was not the right way to learn. They believed studying was memorizing passages which were nonsense to them or proofs which were nonsense.

So it just makes me wonder just how useful education is to most of us

Maybe there’s a problem about dealing with the abstract rather than the concrete.

I never taught geometry so I don’t know what it’s like but I would have thought it’s important to get across to the children or the students that this theorem does not depend on the name you gift the points of the triangle.

It seems obvious to me but perhaps I’m not like other people but I really don’t believe that…… I think people don’t realize that it ought to  make sense and if it doesn’t make sense they have to ask the teacher to explain it again

I have taught at Oxford I have taught at a  polytechnic and I did not find many students who were unable to learn mathematics if it was presented in a sensible way. Even in people who had not done O levels or A levels

But it’s worth remembering that even the cleverest children find geometry quite difficult and do not grasp what is important about it.

And it is not just geometry that they are learning by heart in a meaningless manner I think it was apply to a lot of what they learn.

And so it must be that learning and study can be very destructive to the mind. It’s just a way of keeping adolescents off the streets

Never learn nonsense by heart unless it is written by Lewis Carroll

It is not good to learn parrot fashion or to memorize proofs that you don’t understand

So if anyone in your family asks you for help with their homework try to see whether they understand the general principle behind it do not help them to learn proofs by heart when they have no idea what it’s about at all.

I can’t really see why we spent five years in my school to reach the peak of Pythagoras’s theorem

No ok I understand why it takes five years to do o level at arithmetics containing six wonderful things as compound interest and percentages; how could that take five years?

It goes to show that school is a prison in a way to keep children under control.

I recollect that I had done o level arithmetic by the edge of 11 in the primary school working at my own pace.

I’m going to spend 5 years learning it all again

Yes compound interest is quite difficult but if you get a job on your earning money and you want to save you will learn about interest very quickly when you really need to and if you don’t need to it’s very  tedious

Next time, who invented the straight line?

Mary was in the hall watering her rose scented geranium; she decided to move it into the kitchen as the hall might be a little too drafty.Mary was very anxious to make sure that this plant survived because it was a present from her cousin.
Suddenly the phone rang. perhaps it is Annie wanting to go out on some Christmas shopping expedition ,but no it was Mary’s cousin Bob who she knew had been very ill and although he seems to be recovering she knew he was quite anxious about dying
His voice was very faint and weak. Perhaps he is going to die, she thought. he does seemed to be frightened .

Do not be afraid.God is waiting for you and he knows everything
,He knows how you looked after your sister when she had a breakdown and how you used to change the curtains and make the room look beautiful to try to help her and yet she did not thank you .She was very unpleasant but you never gave up ; eventually when she died during her sleep it was both a relief and a loss
God remembers everything and he is full of love for you . I do not know why God allows some people to suffer so much[ which is a constant theme in human thinking since the book of Job was written.]
Now, I don’t say that you are Job ,but I do know what you have endured. I have seen you being humbled in cruel ways, I have seen you being ignored when you knew much more than the people who were talking
You cared your your cat with utmost kindness until it recovered from its ill-treatment at those nasty neighbours of yours.
You have suffered too through cancer and not being able to eat foods that you liked but you have recovered. You have worked in your garden and grown beautiful flowers and vegetables Your fruit trees have been v productive and your whole garden is a testament to the fact that you love every living being, except your brother David, of course.,
There’s always trouble in that kind of set up when the mother prefers one child to another and it has been a constant torment to you throughout your life. I have noticed since you have both been older. you seem to have a more productive life now and I know you make wine and jam and mend all you can
I know that you did win an award when you were in your 20s for your research although you never told anybody. I wonder why you were so shy about telling people. You never did like to boast and I think I am similar to you.
I let Stan have his mistress next door because I know that not every man is interested in Wittgenstein especially when it’s his wife who wants to talk about him when he wants to take her to bed and enjoy her charms, tickle her and laugh merrily and I only wish that you had been able to meet someone yourself who would have valued you as a human being and felt warmth and attraction as well.
I do think you tried to make the most of your capabilities limited as we are by economic,health and political factors alas
Bob said to Mary :you have made me very happy
2 Days Later Mary heard that Bob was much better and the doctor says he will soon be home again
What a disappointment for God meowed Emile, Mary’s little cat. God got everything ready
Well no doubt God had some help,. Mary cried., that’s what I need . need some help ;this house is in a terrible mess as if my fate is to constantly keep trying to tidy up and yet the next day I have to start all over again.
I don’t mind cried Emile I think it’s wonderful I like a mess it makes me feel like playing more and having fun but when it’s all tidy and clean I feel terribly inhibited
Good grief Emile, you sound as if you’ve been to Oxford.
I did once to go on a day trip to Oxford, the the cat confessed .Annie took me in her handbag on a coach
Well all I can say is ,she must have got a very big handbag
Don’t be so rude Emile told her, you have got some big handbags and you’ve got about 50 handbags in the wardrobe even now when you are a widow
That is a woman’s privilege Mary told him like getting a new hat is Easter; a handbag is a very important thing because it enables men to make their wives carry all their wallets and keys so that they could have fun when they went to the seaside
Yes I can remember mother struggling along from Blackpool North station to the beach with a gigantic handbag and a shopping bag full of sandwiches while everybody else ran on in front of her
I don’t know what we saw in Blackpool except the sea; the beach was so crowded you could hardly see the sand.
I guess the airwas cleaner, the cat informed her in a manly way

I think I need a cup of tea said Mary go and get Annie.
She won’t make the tea
No but she can drink some with me while I tell her all my thoughts and my feelings and I couldn’t free associate while she showed off her new makeup and jewellery and her strangely coloured Christmas outfits.She is off to Wigan to visit the make up factory next week.If only it were in Southport I’d go too.
Well I’m in love with Annie. I wish I was a man so I could marry her and make it home for her
I’m sure you would have made a very good husband said Mary but God wants you to be a cat although you are a rather extraordinary cat and it is my good luck to be your owner or shall I say your mistress?
Aand so ask all of us

Stan awoke feeling very thirsty.My, this bed is too hard, he thought.He put out his hand and felt some wood not far away.It was his desk Emile was lying on his stomach purring You fell out of bed, the little cat miaowed.Luckily I clung on with my claws and I am ok sleeping down here….I can see any mice better.Well ,it’s not ok with me,Stan informed him gently .How can I get up? He picked up the Cambridge Companion to Sylvia’s Wrath and banged on his desk softly. Mary was awake and heard a strange sound.She got up and found Stan lying on the floor with his head by his wooden desk. Emile wanted to sleep by the wall, you see.,he told her. Then he rolled over and I fell out. That is logically and scientifically insensible,Mary told him. Surely Emile is not so big that his weight was enough to knock you out of the bed? Anyway, why don’t you get up? I like it down here, the old man lied to her. OK, Mary said,t hen she picked up the phone and rang 999. Hello, she said.My cat is very upset as he feels guilty for pushing my husband out of bed. How terrible for you, the man answered.I’ll send an ambulance right away. Mary opened the front door and left it unlatched whilst she lit the electric lights with a match. How do you feel Stan, she enquired. I am thirsty, give me so brandy, he ordered her in that way men do. They said not to let you or Emile drink or eat. Bloody ridiculous, he told her gently. Soon the ambulance arrived and the paramedics were running up the stairs. Mary fainted so they laid her on the bed whilst they comforted Emile. Then they picked up Stan and laid him right next to Mary. Why don’t you have a bigger bed, one asked Stan. Bigger than what, he responded academically. Well, if you were any fatter you’d not be able to get in with your wife. True,he replied but I am 96 you know.I have erectile mal-conjunction already and soon I’ll be bowled out. I shall make you some tea, the female paramedic told them. Well, you don’t seem to be hurt, the other one told Stan, but the cat may need therapy or counselling because of the guilt he will feel. He’s not a Catholic I hope. No, he’s Jewish, Stan shouted hopefully. That’s alright then.He can have concubines.How do cats get to be Jewish? It’s their souls, Mary said…they are all waiting up there for a suitable place to be reborn and some choose to be cats. But how can you tell? he asked wonderingly. They miaow in Hebrew, Mary said. Do you speak it? No, it’s just he hates bacon and pepperoni and always wears a hat so it seems he must be one of Jesus’s friends, but not Judas of course.I suppose Jesus wore a hat but it’s never been found as yet.Not even being sold as relics. Well, that’s intriguing.Do you think Emile might be the New Messiah? Oh , dear.We never thought of that.Will he have to go to Galilee and catch fish? No, he can go to Rome and tell the Pope that the Church is not what God planned. I hope they don’t kill him, Mary cried… God will not be very happy. I didn’t know God had moods, Stan said. He has post-creative depressive disorder….no wonder when we look around the world. Still, they did try, I’ll say that for him or her. And so say all of us For he’s a very good yeller, he’s a very good yeller. A cat’s life is a fuss.Miaow.:)

From today’s Times newspaper also reported in the Guardian

the analysis warns there is “compelling evidence” of a real worsening of mental health since the pandemic, including a rise in “deaths of despair”.