What kind of tablet you want for Christmas?

Hello what kind of tablet do you want for Christmas?

A sleeping tablet.

But you said a tablet will help you to do your homework

Well if I get some sleep I’ll be able to do my homework better.

On the other hand you might be asleep so long that you don’t have time to do your homework.

Well and what kind of laptop do you want?

A laptop dancer.

But your only 17.

So what is the age of consent for dancing in Britain?

I don’t know but does a laptop dancer dance on your lap?

I’m not sure which way round it is.

What kind of phone do you want for Christmas?

An ear phone.

But you can’t talk through your ear.

Well with artificial intelligence who knows.

Why do people want artificial intelligence when we are born with brains?

I mean would you want to marry a robot?

Since I’m schizoid it might suit me very well

I thought that you were  borderline

No it’s just that I’ve got boundary value problems.

I’m not sure about the value but you’ve definitely got boundary problems

What are boundary values anyway?

The kind of values that people get  living on the edges  of society.

Well it sounds rather painful to me but does it make sense to say society has got edges?

Well it will make sense to some people because people are afraid of immigrants and so there must be a boundary with a very high hedge.

You can’t have a hedge on the beach

Well it’s a metaphor you see

Can you have a metaphor on the beach?

The beach itself is a metaphor.

I get it

It’s all about the Normandy landings.

Yes the French thought our soldiers were illegal immigrants so they got the Germans to shoot them.

Well I’ve never heard that before.

I like to have original ideas and when you’re up against the edge that’s what you need. Ideas of origin

Well if we’re all descended from Adam and Eve

Then Jesus is not an illegal immigrant.