You know the widow’s sad and can mourn and grieve all day
But the anger and the hatred,she’s not supposed to say
She can cry upon the duvet, she can moan under the stairs
But the rage and irritation are not to be declared
She can order man size tissues in boxes multiplied
But the venomous ,vindictiveness imply that love had died
She can be dissociated, she can be without affect
But if she says how well she hated him, everybody’s vexed
Who can live so closely for forty and five years
Without needing a dressmaker to sew up all the tears?
Who can be accepting when money and time’s scarce
There’s a war inside the heart of us everybody hears
Scratched and bitten daily, struck by falling stars
Who can come to help us from our warring hearts?

I’ve been beside myself ever since I was in the hospital. When will I get inside myself I wonder? I understand why people believe in spirits because you can really feel as if you are not inhabiting your own body that your spirit is on the ceiling looking down and watching your body moving about.

This used to happen to my husband quite a lot and also sleepwalking very very strange. I had a noise in the middle of the night and he wasn’t here so I went downstairs and he was in the kitchen with his striped dressing gown on putting water into the kettle. I asked him what are you doing and he said I’m making the tea.

I realised he was actually faster sleep and somehow I’m honestly getting upstairs into bed

Some people have killed while they were asleep like that fortunately he never tried to strangle me

And where are you when people look at your face and they can see that you are not present but you’re not consciously fantasizing but you are not there in some sense,

So I wonder about these old expressions like she was besides herself when she lost her engagement ring,

I’m interested in having a lot of old sayings the body is involved whereas I don’t think it is in modern phrases

My heart was in my mouth

Some of these things are wonderful I like them very much

He left a joke of hauteur by my bed

He switched on my electric  chair so it would execute  quickly

He asked me if I wanted to be harassed for Christmas.

He said, do you believe in phantom clowns?

He remind me that father used to bring us Catherine Wheels for tea.

He asked me to test the new electric socket by putting my l finger into it. It gave me quite a thrill . Could this be the new form of assisted dying?

I think I’ll use a dictator instead.

He is getting a kit to find my tea spot

A magnifying lass will be better

He said he’s going to give me a watch in a  basket

He did well at cricket in fact he got a hatchet

he said we couldn’t solve the problem but we could just live with it until it dissolved But is dissolution what we really hunt!

For dinner we had chicken in a crotchet. Then we played musical hairs.

My sister used to like chicken a  lozenge. With white lice nm

I wish we could still get gooseberry fools or even just shrewsburys

https://www.journal-psychoanalysis.eu/articles/boredom-an-uncanny-guide-to-something-unknown/

Christian churches have been asked to use All Bran and Water instead of bread and wine.

Also the government is considering making church attendance compulsory.

So far there have been no comments

1.A Christian,a Jew And a Muslim were walking through the Mall looking for a Coffee Shop.
They found a new one with lots of seats so they went inside and sat down.The Jew went over to the counter and asked,do you serve Cappuccinos?
The waitress answered,not usually, but in your case I’ll make an exception.
And my two friends?
Are they Cappuccinos as well?
Well, they are people of the Book like me.
I’m sorry .I meant to give it back.Are you going to fine me?
No, give us free coffee and we’ll say no more.
2.You know all those Coffee Shops staffed by foreigners?
Yeah.
The Government is going to build 7 meter high walls around them.
So America is going metric at last!
3.How can you tell I am a foreigner?
I’ll just shout.Wanna see a foreigner!
4.Why do we fear Arabs?
Because they invented al-gebra.
5.Why is the Pope a man?
We just have to take his word for it.
6.My husband asked me,what is post-modernism?
I replied,you didn’t need to marry me just to find that out
7.My wife asked,why do my rock buns fly?
I said, because I am trying to kill that spider on the ceiling.
8.My son asked me to lend him my car for a week.
I said,it’s alright son, you can neck here at home.
What about my Oedipal conflicts?
Use PayPal instead.
9.My daughter has got big blue eyes.
Where did she get those from?
Her grandmother.
Is she dead?
Not yet but Jesus wants her whole heart.
Don’t tell me he does transplants now!
10.I want to go to the lavatory.
They have closed all the public ones.
I should think so.Who wants to be watched all the time?
You’ll have to go in the telephone box.
I only have a Nokia 105.
Didn’t I tell you to get a phablet?
I’m not smart enough to spell that!

He laid me on the garden path

As if I were an egg

He told me he was filled with wrath

And then he bit my leg.

What a husband what a man

I’ll make him very sorry

And when he asks me for some bread

I’ll teach him how to worry

All the men in all the world have made me full of rage

I don’t want to repeat all this so I must turn the page

He led me up the garden Path

And then I saw a house

I said that I would live with him

But then I saw a mouse

I saw one,I saw 15,I saw 900 more

If I see another mousr I’ll kill them by the score

A man is hard to understand

I cannot get their measure

If I find another one I’ll learn him my leisure

There is no point in speeding up the processes of life.

And with these words she disappeared , she was no one’s wife.

https://www.tate.org.uk/art/art-terms/v/vanishing-point

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/history/the-origins-of-wearing-your-heart-on-your-sleeve-17471279/

The Problem With ‘Elites’ May Not Be What You Think It Is https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/07/opinion/elites-blm-police.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

It’s not natural for the sun to be level with my eyes

I’m walking down the street alongside the full bushy trees

The green is the rain that fell through the summer

And the sun that burnt at the end of July and early August

When rioters tried to burn hotels full of refugees

When they’re in prison they won’t need to look for work

What’s it like to be an asylum  seeker

In a place where they try to kill you?

Even when they don’t kill you they keep you waiting months and months

You’re not really a victim with torture are you? That’s what happens in your country it’s normal.

His mouth is full of stones and he can’t swallow

You have no power when you are an asylum seeker.

Why did they invent that term I wonder?

People don’t actually analyze what it means

Then they call them illegal immigrants but if they were illegals they would be in prison waiting to be sent back to their own country

A refugee may get 35 pounds a week to buy food and to pay a bills although can they pay bills if they’re not actually registered at the address?

We should be glad that we pay bills because it means we live here in the house or flat

We’re officially living here on the local council knows though

The government knows and the police know and the income tax people know

So be pleased that you’re paying income tax because it means you’re a resident and you’ve got a job as well.

So many things to be grateful for when you think about it

Mainly in the first place that we are alive

And we are not being tortured and we can’t hear the  voices of those who are.

Would you believe if you were that person?

I would find it very difficult I’m sure.

Strange how when we don’t respect people we compare them to animals or even insects

Animals and insects and the cats and dogs  are not as cruel as people.

I envy ants and wasps

Even though they don’t pay income tax I still envy  them.

Would I like to buzz around are being the orders of the CD wasps wearing the stripe yellow and black coat probably not…

Ants care for each other. Life is a puzzle which is never solved.

Is the meaning important?

Sometimes being alive is the meaning it’s enough of a meaning

If you feel alive in your body you don’t need a meaning.

Life must be the meanings

https://www.pandasecurity.com/en/mediacenter/how-to-make-phone-impossible-to-track/

Some evenings, the sky turned pink

We were happy, lying in the grass

watching the sun set,

arms around each other.

Seemed like eternal life had come

Earlier than forecast
.
Those weathermen are often wrong!

They need new training.

I shall remember you

in that timeless moment

in between two raindrops,

in between two tears

Dear Annie

I thought I’d better write to you before too long otherwise you will forget that I exist altogether and that is something I do not want to happen although I have to admit that it would not be the end of the world really since I’m not seen you for 20 years and haven’t heard your voice since I went deaf two years ago so we can’t even talk on the phone now but would it be worth doing Skype when I can’t hear you I suppose I might be able to lip read that would be one advantage of it just let me know what you think because I don’t really know what is the very best thing for us to do now as we are getting to the end of our lives and we may not always be here for each other as it were obviously was I mean in a virus speaking

Well I want to I wouldn’t even be able to hear a virus squeaking now lol et alone speaking

That was a very long sentence but was it grammatical all the way through I spoke very quickly because I was hoping that some mistakes will be made in the translation and it would come out in a glorious jumble of crazy words with in fact there were so fewer errors then I normally get when I’m speaking carefully:

what do you think about that?

I can’t sit here all day writing letters to you so I must close now and hope that you are well and I’ve got plenty of water if you run out. We’ve all got plenty of water now we’ve even had a flood.

Thank god I don’t live in the middle of York

Mary

Is it impertibent of me

To ask a man to climb a tree

To  kill ?the squirrel for his nuts

To ask a snail if he’s got guts?

Is it polite to eat quails eggs

And ask a beetle for his legs?

I think it’s  cute to call men blokes

I love the smell of their tweed coats.

I wish I were in primary school

Learning logic’s cool yet cruel

I never learned damn all myself

The Oxford entrance test by stealth

And if you failed to pass their test

You’ll only read the news at best

And it gets worse for if you fail

You’ll  never handle royal mail.

Yes to be at all worthwhile

Go to Oxford and beguile

Refuse to leave until you win

Failing entrance is a sin.

God will never accept you

The best way out- just join a zoo

Regents Park is very fine.

But it’s not on the Central line

Animals feel they’re not the best

And then they fear what priests confessed

Try for art school learn to see

Van Gogh’s a scientist set him free!

https://www.vocabulary.com/dictionary/tantalize#:~:text=When%20you%20tantalize%20people%2C%20you,with%20what%20they%20cannot%20have.&text=%22Tantalize.%22%20Vocabulary.com,2024.

https://traditionalcatholicprayers.com/de-profundis

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poets/john-milton

the volume were composed in Stuart England but published after the onset of the English Civil War. Furthermore, Milton may have begun to compose one or more of his mature works—Paradise Lost, Paradise Regained, and Samson Agonistes—in the 1640s, but they were completed and revised much later and not published until after the Restoration.

This literary genius whose fame and influence are second to none, and on whose life and works more commentary is written than on any author except Shakespeare, was born at 6:30 in the morning on 9 December 1608. His parents were John Milton , Sr., and Sara Jeffrey Milton , and the place of birth was the family home, marked with the sign of the spread eagle, on Bread Street, London. Three days later, at the parish church of All Hallows, also on Bread Street, he was baptized into the Protestant faith of the Church of England. Other children of John and Sara who survived infancy included Anne, their oldest child, and Christopher, seven years younger than John. At least three others died shortly after birth, in infancy or in early childhood. Edward Phillips, Anne’s son by her first husband, was tutored by Milton and later wrote a biography of his renowned uncle, which was published in Milton’s Letters of State (1694). Christopher, in contrast to his older brother on all counts, became a Roman Catholic, a Royalist, and a lawyer.

Milton’s father was born in 1562 in Oxfordshire; his father, Richard, was a Catholic who decried the Reformation. When John Milton, Sr., expressed sympathy for what his father viewed as Protestant heresy, their disagreements resulted in the son’s disinheritance. He left home and traveled to London, where he became a scrivener and a professional composer responsible for more than twenty musical pieces. As a scrivener he performed services comparable to a present-day attorney’s assistant, law stationer, and notary. Among the documents that a scrivener executed were wills, leases, deeds, and marriage agreements. Through such endeavors and by his practice of money lending, the elder Milton accumulated a handsome estate, which enabled him to provide a splendid formal education for his son John and to maintain him during several years of private study. In “Ad Patrem” (To His Father), a Latin poem composed probably in 1637-1638, Milton celebrated his “revered father.” He compares his father’s talent at musical composition, harmonizing sounds to numbers and modulating the voices of singers, to his own dedication to the muses and to his developing artistry as a poet. The father’s “generosities” and “kindnesses” enabled the young man to study Greek, Latin, Hebrew, French, and Italian.”

Little is known of Sara Jeffrey, but in Pro Propulo Anglicano Defensio Secunda (The Second Defense of the People of England, 1654) Milton refers to the “esteem” in which his mother was held and to her reputation for almsgiving in their neighborhood. John Aubrey, in biographical notes made in 1681

Underneath the oceans’ lowest floor

Where no fish swim,where life is muddy dark

There we feel the deadness of our heart

Each day is like that year we can’t ignore

In this darkest place we lie in mud

Is it chrysalis or is it death ?

Is it sulky rage or deadly breath?

Yet still there is a hint of something good

United states of mind of heart and soul

United states of humans all enraged

What shall we use as measurement and  gauge?

Thoughts fly by like tiny fish in shoals

At the very bottom, at the nought

The engineers are working out of sight.

and the modern word, with a weaker sense, “failure to hold, keep, or preserve what was in one’s possession; failure to gain or win,” probably evolved 14c. from lost, the past participle of lose.

https://www.etymonline.com/word/loss

https://www.google.com/search?q=origin+of+the+word+loss&client=ms-android-motorola-rvo3&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8&chrome_dse_attribution=1&inm=vs

The word loss comes from the Old English word lōsian, which means “to be destroyed”. It was likely formed around the 14th century as a noun from the past participle of the word losen, which 

https://www.theguardian.com/education/2018/dec/16/enduring-lessons-of-donald-winnicotts-toy-story

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/guides/zy722hv/revision/1

I miss you though I’ve never met you yet.

I miss you though we’ve had no tete a tete

I dream of you at night when I’m in bed

I wonder what it is we haven’t said.

imagine I could love you should we meet

I invented you and think you look quite neat.

You must have feelings for what is the good.

Aristotle Plato said we should.

Ethics and the principles of love

Guide us like the stars do from above.

Those who cannot read stars fall to sin.

Sometimes Satan and his forces win.

If I got to see you I would know

The eternal Life is now for those who’re low.

From above I saw the TV set

Our life is just a moment on the net

Hello what kind of tablet do you want for Christmas?

A sleeping tablet.

But you said a tablet will help you to do your homework

Well if I get some sleep I’ll be able to do my homework better.

On the other hand you might be asleep so long that you don’t have time to do your homework.

Well and what kind of laptop do you want?

A laptop dancer.

But your only 17.

So what is the age of consent for dancing in Britain?

I don’t know but does a laptop dancer dance on your lap?

I’m not sure which way round it is.

What kind of phone do you want for Christmas?

An ear phone.

But you can’t talk through your ear.

Well with artificial intelligence who knows.

Why do people want artificial intelligence when we are born with brains?

I mean would you want to marry a robot?

Since I’m schizoid it might suit me very well

I thought that you were  borderline

No it’s just that I’ve got boundary value problems.

I’m not sure about the value but you’ve definitely got boundary problems

What are boundary values anyway?

The kind of values that people get  living on the edges  of society.

Well it sounds rather painful to me but does it make sense to say society has got edges?

Well it will make sense to some people because people are afraid of immigrants and so there must be a boundary with a very high hedge.

You can’t have a hedge on the beach

Well it’s a metaphor you see

Can you have a metaphor on the beach?

The beach itself is a metaphor.

I get it

It’s all about the Normandy landings.

Yes the French thought our soldiers were illegal immigrants so they got the Germans to shoot them.

Well I’ve never heard that before.

I like to have original ideas and when you’re up against the edge that’s what you need. Ideas of origin

Well if we’re all descended from Adam and Eve

Then Jesus is not an illegal immigrant.

What do you give your father when he’s late?

What do you give the boy who locks the gate

What do you think will be your final date?

If you fall in love will that be fate?

The cat is sick I wonder what she ate

I know I’m sated what is it that me sates?

If you’re the Hunter U think I am the bait

Nothing is so bad as no debate

If this is real then never love negate

Things came quickly almost like a spate

If I get a job what is the rate?

In the end it’s best that we create

When ancient hearts cried “Day shall come again”

When red sun drops and cooling night rolls in
Darkness masks both danger and our vision
Ancient minds fear day won’t come again
Courage for the delicate seems thin
We wrestle with our indecision
When low sun drops and the night rolls in
But now , new stricken by the dread of sin
Who protects us from derision?
Our ancient mind fears day won’t come again
When we sleep we’re entertained within
Bold dreams squander all illusion
When sun drops the darkest night rolls in
In reverie we’re loved and hearts open
Then fancy turns to full communion
The ancient mind fears day won’t come again
Yet despite fear, our sacred life began
When sperm leaped up in proud confusion.
When deep sun dropped and a new night rolled in
All human hearts cried,Day shall come again”