Can I wear jeans when I’m 80?
Socks when I’m 79?
Can I wear coats when I’m 90?
Smoke a pipe when I’m in a decline?
Who makes the rules that we honour
Why are we swift to obey
We all love a mental dictator
I wonder what Hitler would say?
I like to bring cheer by my dressing
I don’t wear old clothes full of holes
A bit of embroidery helps me
Put me in velvet and call me a mole
There’s nothing like silk to caress you
When your boyfriend and husband have left
If you can’t afford to wear silken dresses
You can afford just a silk vest.
Wool is so warm in the winter
I wear it whenever I can
I like proper coats or short jackets
I think anoraks should be banned.
Padded coats are never quite flattering
I wore one once and felt faint
Well it’s always so cold at the bus stop.
I can’t wear a coat made from paint
Some people wear babies rompers
Made in a much larger size
I don’t mind at all what you wear dear
As long as you don’t make babies cry.
Now the news is all politics these days
The prime minister has got some new clothes
As long as they don’t make him Emperor
We’ll just have to see how it goes.
Your slippers might come from Harrods
Your dressing gown is Japanese
But don’t spend your money too lightly
Because money does not grow on trees
How my heart sings 