Stan was standing on a small step ladder washing his windows yet again with a clean blue microfibre and elastane cloth and some windolene he had bought in Tesco’s
I don’t know why I bother,he whispered to Emile, who as usual was watching from the back of the sofa,which he was “milking” gently with his paws.
With all the rain,the outside of the windows was besmirched by leaves and bits of mud.A wiser man might have left it alone but Stan had O.C.D which made him very nervous if he failed to carry out certain tasks… so he made use of it in house chores and baking perfect cakes and buns..and in taking photos of frogs,birds and flowers. Neurosis can be useful sometimes.
All of a sudden he heard clattering footsteps…
Up the garden path walked two women dressed in the latest style of 3/4 length silk cargo trousers with matching blouses, all in a subtle shade of violet.Except for their faces,of course,which were both a light shade of beige and they had Revlon peach blusher on their cheeks with Chanel scarlet lipstick…on their lips.They also wore dark blue nail varnish from Rimmel
“Good morning,Stan!” called one of them.”We are Annie’s ‘s cousins from Pittsburgh.She told us to call on you today.”
“Well,I never knew wearing expensive makeup ran in the genes… can there be any other explanation?”Stan asked stupidly.
“Annie told us we must wear it all the time in the UK.” she responded,”even in bed.”
“You seem a bit fast,” he answered,
“I’m not sure I want to go to bed and as you seem like identical twins,which of you should I bed?”
They burst out laughing….oh,what a strange noise that seemed to this sweet old man
“I was just saying what she told us,not meaning that you need to go to bed with us.In fact, we sleep together at night.”
“As children that would be normal,but don’t you think you should separate now?People might think you are gay!”
“We never worry about stuff like that… and by the way,this is Ruby and I am Rosie.”
“I’ll put on the kettle and make you some coffee,” the dear and anxious man said in a kind tone of voice,before he went into the kitchen and swallowed a handful of red and green striped valium tablets.
“I wish the psychiatrist would give me some therapy.I don’t like taking valium but I seem to be having visions again… and I don’t want to get worse..I never heard Annie mention cousins in the USA. I wonder if CBT would help me?” he said to Emile.
“I see visions all the time,” the cat replied in a matter of fact and calm way.
“Do they not make you feel anxious?”Stan called.
“No,I just watch them drift by,” purred Emile.”I enjoy them.”
“I wish these two women would drift off.”responded the weary yet charming Stan.
Ruby and Rosie came inside and admired the kitchen where colanders in many colours hung from the wall into which someone had knocked a few dozen nails.
“”Why do you have sixteen colanders?”asked Rosie.
“Why do you think everything has a reason?”Stan replied.
“I can see you studied philosophy,” Ruby cried disconsolately as she loved an argument
“No,I have just read Ray Monk’s Life of Wittgenstein eight times,” he quipped merrily.
“Wow,is it not boring?” they murmured softly like two doves in spring time
“No.it’s so good it put me off reading lesser books.And I love to understand things,”
Just then Stan tripped on the rug and fell over. unconscious.
.Emile picked up his mobile with its full Qwerty key pad and texted 999.
“Why are you texting?”asked Ruby.
“Well,it difficult to mioaw down a phone and now I have this Blackberry it’s so easy…. why even a mouse could do it.”
“Do you know many mice,Emile?” enquired Ruby wistfully as she felt very lonely at times
Rosie slowly made some instant coffee, walking around poor Stan ,unconscious on the floor…and she and her twin sat down on some white Swedish chairs at the old oak table and drank it,gazing shyly at the huge weigelia blooming outside in the shed.
The front door opened and in ran Dave,the bisexual paramedic.
“Is it you,Emile.Have you lost your hankie again.Are you sad?” he moaned nervously.
“No,it’s Stan… but at least he’s not broken the chair”
Stan came too and looked up. at Dave.
“Oh, lovely,I feel much better for that nap” he said brightly as he was such a positive person..
“Don’t you have a bed to sleep in?” said Ruby querulously.”I like your mean expression,my dear man.”
“Now,look here said Stan,”I’m too old for any monkey business. Besides,I don’t know if you are real.”
“We just wondered why you slept on the floor.”
“A man has to do what a man has to do,” came the mystifying response.
“Now that Dave is here,he can take one of you and I’ll take the other.”
“Where will you take us”the twins asked delightedly.
“Do you fancy the cinema… they are showing Monsieur Hulot’s Holiday”
“Don’t tell me he’s still on his summer holiday!” riposted Ruby
“Let’s go in the ambulance.I’ll lie on the stretcher” offered Rosie generously..
“I’ll lie by you,”said Dave.” and Emile can drive.Stan and Ruby can lie on the floor.”
Sometimes life seems so simple,it’s rather like a dream controlled..
Controlled by what,asked Emile,clutching his Blackberry.
But answer came there none…
And that was very odd because.. they’d vanished every one…
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Why do you run from me and hi behind these old walls,?
Yes you are not here but I sense you from the corner of my eye I see you moving away running..
You’re a child again playing with me.
I almost hear you laugh now you are free of all your burdens and the pain.Ii may be happy for you leaving you in the world garden with the old bricks in the wall and the benches by the rosebed.
I see a shimmering light maybe it’s migraine
But I think it might be you teasing me.
Now the world is empty of you yet I’m still here.
You should be there or there or there but you are not.
You stabbed my heart when I was left alone Telling me my writing was like porn Now you give me nightmares, be my pest We all need one or two,and you confessed
My writing is so bad, you envy not Did I hit you on a painful spot? If others have a gift, that is their call You have yours , get out a net and trawl
Ambivalent in love which turns to hate We wound ourselves in making this our fate Talking overmuch lets such thoughts out As tea will pour down from a tilted spout
The ancient virtues,patience and restraint Shall be our wise protectors when distraught
In 1993, I took a left turn one day out of my MFA program and found myself at the National Poetry Slam in San Francisco. There I discovered several poets who were funny for the sake of being funny. Particularly Hal Sirowitz from New York (“don’t stick your arm out the window, mother said” and Matt Cook from Milwaukee (“it was easy to write the Great American Novel, back when there were only five American novels”) Both poets initially delighted me and confounded me: There are no similes, a voice in my head said. What would Tom Lux (my first teacher) say? the voice continued. Despite my resistance, I believe those poets gave me a kind of permission to explore humor a little more vigorously in my second book, The Forgiveness Parade (1998), for “I thought the word loin and the word lion were the same thing. I thought celibate was a kind of fish”. Perhaps in that book there were places where I was too vigorous in my pursuit: looking back there are a few poems that are just a little too jokey somehow, a little one-dimensional.
I am becoming aware of how some humor can set a roadblock for the poetic speaker, making it impossible for the speaker to get back to a serious place. And how some other (less frequent) uses of humor can leave that door open. I want to leave that door open
Mary was reading a very interesting blog called London postcode by postcode They had reached London N9 and she had got rather bogged down there even though she had not fallen into the Marshes around the River Lea where once the Danes had sailed as Invaders. They would find it very hard to invade us now as the River Lea seems to have shrunk So lyrical, there are parks and green space,s dirt and mud. Wright’s flour Mill in Ponders End and possibly a lot of illegal immigrants eating Canada geese according to folk myth and racist’ ideas.Canada geese do tend to breed rather excessively and anyway, why are they here in Britain without visas
Mary discovered that her favourite poets John Keats had been apprenticed to a doctor in Edmonton and here is the house where he stayed.There is also a house where Charles and Mary Lamb lived for many years; they are buried in the church graveyard nearby.The church is 15th century and is rather beautiful. there was a hero from World War II who lives in one of these quiet streets in a white painted suburban house.
His name was Charles Coward and he managed to rescue 400 Jewish prisoners from Auschwitz ;his name is on a memorial in Israel. there’s even a film about him with Dirk Bogarde it is called “The password is courage” in this quiet little Street he lived for many years until he died at the age of 71 We never know who might have been living in our street or the next street. people who had done a very courageous things but had never boasted about them Mary was so busy trying to read this blog and put away the groceries from Morrisons not to mention other household tasks that the day seemed to go by very quickly How alluring Mary was looking in her pale turquoise and grey wool skirt topped by a turquoise roll neck top from Lands End and with that a rather shrunken jumper in cream with brown dots on it whether it was an accident or deliberate we will never know.On her elegant slim legs she wore some warm black tights and cream shoes Mary was dressed up like this at home yet went out on Saturday evening wearing an old motheaten jumpe to meet some of the wealthy and members of our parish ;what’s the total mystery is this:did Mary want to look poor and downtrodden or was she was trying to signal her unavailability to be the wife of any men at the meeting only Mary knows. As a matter of fact even Mary doesn’t know. this is why life is so hard because we don’t know how our own motivations Mary has spent several hours looking for a SIM card for a mobile phone which she never used and did not need and yet could not stop looking for it; however during this process she found that her gnt spray for Atypical Angina was 6 months out of date. so she had to ring the surgery and speak to the doctor Who quickly emailed the note to the pharmacist telling them that this was an emergency that Mary must have the spray as soon as possible or she might have a heart attack .Why Mary might even die like Jesus Christ, not for the same reasons as Jesus Christ and he was probably too young to have got this migraine of the heart as the most poetic language might name it Mary herself had never known that she had it until one morning she had a terrible pain in her chest and was unable to speak.then she was whizzed off to the hospital to have all sorts of tests and her heart was totally alright except for this symptom which stops the blood from flowing into the heart Mary went into the kitchen and took some things out of the washing machine wondering where God meant us to dry our washing in winter When human beings were first created they did not need to wear clothes because they lived in the Garden of Eden surrounded by fruit trees and flowers. it was only after they fell into sin by eating a tomato that they became aware that they were naked and decided to knit themselves jumpers and trousers Did you know it can be a long time before we learn to knit or, as needles had not yet been invented [come to that neither had wool]. Of course they did not have polyester or nylon or plastic. they did not have gas central heating. yes they were very happy bearing their beautiful family and eventually killing each other when they were not busy procreating .So the world has continued right up till now .We still knit jumpers and sometimes we kill other people because they do not worship the same God that we worship nor do they have as much money as we do. and whatever they have so others will try to take it away.Just like our own Empire of the Done Mary concluded there has never been any peaceful time in human history and those who try to be too humble or too good or too kind will be the first ones to be slaughtered. Virtue may not always be its own reward . if only we were descended from the apes, not the chimpanzees everything could be totally different but what is the point of that kind of thinking? Mary brooded philosophically while washing the kitchen floor where she has spilt single cream. Mary very rarely eats cream and already she has wasted half of the Carton. Emile came in: Mother why did you not let me lick the cream from the floor? You might get food poisoning she cried happily you can have some of the cream from the carton on a saucer for your tea. is that good ? Well said Emile I suppose there’s nothing else now since you have washed the floor but you know that we prefer to eat things from the floor .Cats don’t have China and cutlery Neither did Adam and Eve Mary screamed softly Mother ,control yourself anybody would think that you were a chimpanzee, Emile winked at her! And they’d be right Mary thought to herself I am a chimpanzee
I apologise for the errors in this document I am using speech to typing on Google Documents I have tried to edit it but I may have missed some mistakes.It reads as if I need lessons for people whose first language is no tEnglish
Put salt onto your scalp with your shampoo If like the ocean you are feeling blue When you rub, the dry skin will come off So at the moment you must never cough
Do not grate the cheese with your false teeth This will give your other some relief There are great devices you can buy Make certain yours is not a home for flies
Coffee with no milk may be a dye Pour it on your head as alibi Is there any warrant for arrest? Do not send your blood until it’s blessed
If you see some tear gas in your street Lock the door and hide beneath the sheets The Bible as a weapon is uncouth God does not embroider his own truth
Integration means so much to me I learned the Calculus from A to B I learned about geometry ,don’t tell If Euclid comes I’m up the pole as well
Mary woke up as she heard a strange noise.Except it was not as she had overslept.
She put her head out of the window where a young man was standing by the wall
You can leave their parcel here, she cried in her muffled shriek
I have come to collect one, he responded
But they are not at home, she informed him.They have emigrated
No wonder, the man said.I’d like to escape from Dominic Cummings
Has he captured you?
He damages my soul and God is angry
Let’s leave God to one side.I know how you feel, I think
Thank you very much.God will remember
Mary sat in bed and wondered where Stan was.Suddenly she realised he was dead.
Emile came in purring loudly
Emile, is Stan really dead?
I think so although sometimes I think I see him in the kitchen with his Robert Carrier cookbook
Tears came into Mary’s eyes remembering all the meals Stan cooked
He would be horrified if he saw her eat a frozen shepherd’s pie or macaroni cheese straight from a tin
At least I still use Earl Grey Tea, she thought intelligently Mary drank tea from a large blue mug; in fact it was half a pint of tea. She looked at her phone to see if any emails from her friends were there but none of her friends had written to her which could hardly be surprising as they had all written to her the day before She saw a letter from British Gas offering her help during the lockdown but she didn’t use gas anymore. if they had been more compassionate when she was having trouble with her boiler she might still be using it but she had decided that gas was a bad thing; it made her think about horrible things like Sylvia Plath and the Holocaust On the other hand electricity has also been used to harm people and kill them in the United States ;what was the answer? The best thing is to get up at once. she said and read The Guardian the Times, Independent newspaper The Telegraph and the London Review of Books.By the time she has read all of those who would go back to bed? Only a sex addict and has she had no husband that was impossible After all, who prefers a plastic vibrator to a loving man or woman?Mary decided 4 Weetabix and some milk would make a very nice breakfast Where is my breakfast, called Emile louder? Oh dear I am very sorry , would you like some kippers for your breakfast Thank you, Mother How many times do I have to tell you that I am not your mother; I am human and you are a cat But you are my mother in a metaphorical sense :you look after me, you feed me, you bath me On the other hand I sleep on your bed and if I was your son you would not want me to sleep on your bed would you since I’m 18 years old? No, it might look like incest Mary replied humorously but would an 18-year old youth be attracted to an older lady Don’t ask me, he said, I am just a cat I would not know my own mother if I met her and if she was willing I might even mate with her without knowing that she was my mother. God is very kind to animals in some ways but on the other hand why does he let people hunt and kill for fun? Well he would not tell Job nor his so-called comforters so I don’t know whether he’s going to tell me; if he did tell me I might not be able to understand Why not, said the cat? When we don’t know what language God speaks how can we talk to him? Only by paying attention in the Silence in the middle of a wood or a cathedral as long as it was not full of tourists and and dogs Are dogs allowed to go inside a cathedral? I don’t know said Mary I have never thought about it before but I would imagine they are banned because they might start Barking at the wrong moment I could go to church, Emile cried Do you want to go to church , Mary asked him If there is nothing else to do, I will go to church, he mewed That is not the right attitude, she told him, God is more important than anything else at all How do you know God is not here in the house Yes he is; he is everywhere but we can’t see him except in the eye of a child or or the smile of an old man when he is going to die peacefully in the arms of his wife And what about the wife? the cat pondered<Shall I have to hold you in my arms so that I can see God in your smile as you pass away Oh dear me said Mary. I never thought of that I am too big to go into your arms. I can go on a diet and save money by only eating half a tin of Heinz macaroni cheese for my supper and half a tin of vegetable soup for my lunch It is impossible, the cat told her, because even if I eat a lot my legs will never go any longer and as mathematician you should be able to see that you would have to become as small as a tiny baby before I could put my arms around you The end of a wonderful dream,sighed Mary I’ll have to ask somebody else Dr Patel maybe if I can die in his arms| It is like the ultimate act of love to allow someone to die in your arms but one can’t do it too often as it is too emotionally and spiritually demanding I agree, mother, the cat told her and now I’m going outside to try and catch you some frogs from the pond next door, goodbye.
Mary was walking down the High Street of a little town a few miles from Knittingham. Here stood tall trees, which have been hacked into stumps by the local council,They are vehemently opposed to anything that might change the town into an upmarket suburb of Knittingham. They wante it to be ‘modern’, like a small version of Manhattan or Paris, maybe, or even London. but there was not enough room to build a skyscraper or a Gherkin, like the one that Ken Livingstone had erected in London after he went to Soho
Mary was wearing a long, blue, unlined, woollen coat from Marks and Spencer, over a dark grey and green sweater dress, with matching leather boots . iIn her hand, she carried a large green handbag, which contained her Kindle Paperwhite and her purse
Suddenly she had a loud cry: “Mary, Mary!”.
She looked round and there was an old friend whom she knew before the advent of smartphones and computers and, therefore, not being very well organised, she had lost the address of this dear lady, Margaret.
“Shall we go and have a cup of coffee in that Turkish restaurant?”, Margaret inquired politely.I have my cat in the car and I’ll get him a scone.The people are very friendly
“What a brilliant idea!”, Mary cried, “I have come out just to have a change of scene and Annie, my friend in in Knittingham, has got measles I have a cat myself
“I do hope you’ve had measles already”, said Margaret.
Yes, I have”, Mary lied.
“Well, tell me your latest news. How is your rheumatoid arthritis? Have they given you any of these new drugs, which suppress your immune system to stop it from attacking your own body?”
“No, they haven’t given me any yet”, Margaret replied cheerfullyA bit late now
“I believe that, nowadays, they give them to people right at the beginning of the illness tbut, in my day, they did not give them to you until it was fully developed , unfortunately, I have become somewhat disabled.”
“Well, how do you manage living on your own?”Do you have a lover who might help you?
“No lover as yet but I have various devices that I can use”, Margaret told her with a twinkle in her eye, giving Mary the impression that Margaret was the owner of a gigantic array of vibrators and other similar implements trying them out for some Health Magazine for the handicapped
Mary was thinking that they were probably better than codeine for taking your mind off your pains and aches which, in the case of arthritis can be excruciating, making it impossible in many cases for a woman to have sex though she had imagined marrying her cat Emile as he had expressive eyes and did not desire her body She did not tell Margaret what she was thinking but said:
“I know that you can get a stand for your electric kettle, so that you can pour the water out of it without lifting the kettle up from the work surface., and you can also get vacuum cleaners that are self-propelled.”
As Mary had a great many books, she was unlikely to buy one of these vacuum cleaners, because they would knock over all her carefully choosing piles of scholarly works and art books, not to mention the tubs full of pens and pencils, and coloured pastel chalks.
When they went into the cafe, the waitress was very polite and soon they were drinking their coffee at a little table in the window, from where they could see the local people passing by.Many were wearing badges asking for an end to the Civil War in Britain
“You’ll never guess what happened to me”, Margaret said
, “I was in the bookshop, where they have a folding chair for me to sit ; they know I can’t stand up for a long time without suffering pain. I’d just sat down when this young woman came up to me and said:”
“You can’t sit there and read: you have to go upstairs and sit in and armchair.”
“Well, if you show me the lift, I will be very happy to go upstairs ” , I said humorously
.Or maybe you can carry me up as you are very heavy and strong
“We don’t have a lift”, t he woman cried loudly, “We only have one for us to take books upstairs and we do not allow customers to use it, because it is not insured.”
=Would you mind if I just sat here for 5 minutes?”
“No!, you cannot sit there for 5 minutes”
“ Well, I was unable to get up, straight away”, said Margaret “but, as soon as I could, I put the expensive book, which Ihad been going to buy, back onto the rack of new non-fiction and saved £20 there and then
” “That’s not very nice”, continued Mary. i“It might even be illegal to tell a disabled person to go up some stairs, when there is no lift or escalator.”
Margaret called “Let’s talk about something else. I like that coat: it’s a lovely shade of Prussian blue
“Never say the word Prussian to me”, said Mary “it reminds me of the war.”
“Well”, said Margaret “if our luck continues on its present track and also the Middle East, there will be almost no country that we can talk about it without getting distressed by the name.”
It’s a real indictment of humankind.Civilisation is inextricably linked to War.Let#s put that thought aside and talk about clothes instead
“I like this coat however we name the olour”, said Mary “because it is made of wool and the sleeves are lined but the body is not lined, which means that is suitable for this early spring weather and also quite llight to wear always an advantage for the older lady. iIt also covers up whatever else I am wearing underneath because it is quite long.”
“What on earth are you wearing underneath?”tMargaret asked humorously
“For all you know I might have nothing underneath it”, said Mary “exccept a pair of silk knickers and a silk vest.”
But I have a dress on over my silk and wool underwear,I am using an deodorant called
Unarmed and dangerous
“ I have changed a lot since my husband died and I do all sorts of peculiar things. For example, I believed in times it will soon be legal to marry an animal and I would like to marrylEmile, so that he can sleep in bed with me rather than on top of the bed.”
“But he might scratch you accidentallyy! “, cried Margaret.And can he kiss you?
“Oh, there’s always a fly in the ointment”, Mary said.
“Well don’t marry the fly”, her friend responded.”I don’t think that Father Brown would like that, even if it could speak and say ‘I do’; it would definitely not want to sleep in bed with you. it will be flying around your bedroom, buzzing all night, and I don’t think it’ll be the only. one” “I have to marry a spider then”, said Mary, “Maybe two spiders”
They both laughed uproariously, to the amazement of all the other people in a cafe
“It’s good to see old ladies laughing isn’t it?”
It certainly is.”
“So will you be going back to that book shop?”
“Well, I did try to go back but, as I approached the door, my mouth went very dry and I realised I was getting that ‘fight or flight’ reaction, even though I didn’t feel so anxious but something inside me was worried that history was about to repeat itself and I ’d be the object of scorn and derision.”
“Yes, it’s horrible to feel humiliated isn’t it”, said Mary.
“I was reading an article in the Guardian, which said that some scientists of the most social sorts have discovered that even the nicest people unconsciously see disabled people as less than human.”.
“Oh my god! that is very frightening because I am getting older and I might get disabled and then I will suffer like you do.”
“Well, you have to be tolerant of suffering”
But how tolerant should one be? I don’t want to have back some of those politically correct people who go around like Methodist -preachers, attacking people who are agnostic or who want unisex toilets
“Are there any heterosexual toilets?”
“I’ve never seen any but you never know.”
After drinking their coffees, they walked into Marks and Spencer’s to look at the new spring clothing
That looks like a satin tracksuit!”, Mary called politely
“I believe that the short trousers are coming back into fashion. tThey are a big problem because itthey puts all the focus on your ankles, so you cannot wear those dirty old socks that you can wear at home or with long trousers. I think they are a plot to make us buy ankle boots.”
Everything’s a plot now, isn’t it.
“Don’t say that to the doctor or she will think you are getting paranoia.”
“Getting paranoia? I’ve been paranoid all my life.”“How sad!”
We’ll, nowadays you need a bit of paranoia, especially if you come from Europe and believe that you can work in Britain and contribute to the economy, while enjoying all the lavish pleasures of London city and nightlife.”
“The so-called foreigners are much more courteous than English people. iIn fact I a’m ashamed to be English now and I pretend that I came from Ireland instead.”
You look more like a Valkyrie.”
“Don’t say that! I hate the composer Wagner.”
“I do believe the word existed before he wrote the music but I understand how you feel. It’s not your fault that you’ve got blonde hair and blue eyes and a white skin.”
“My hair isn’t really blonde any more. I think it’s more silvery, like Helen Mirren.”
“Does it really matter what her hair looks like now?”
”“Well, we have to amuse ourselves somehow and, since we no longer have husbands, wel ’re deprived of much pleasure and love, and we have to put out the wheelie bins ourselves, which I think is really awful.”
“I do some vacuuming, now and then, I move books out of the bookcase and carry them into the other room and, you won’t believe this, last week I accidentally put a bag of nearly new clothes into the ‘dirty’ wheelie bin and found I still had the rubbish in the hall.! Unfortunately, the bins had been emptied and there was nothing I could do to get them back.Mind you, I did feel a certain relief but as the hall was no longer full of black bin liners and other stuff like that..
Not to mention all those cables, cords, and chargers that we have nowadays. I think the computer was invented purely to give us more things to buy, to keep the economy going. Nobody really wanted to have computers but they realised that, once you got one, you would want to connect it to your camera, or your television, or the printer, and so it would mean a big market for those cables and cords.
But it gives me something to do, while the Government argue about Brexit.”
It’s not just the Government who are arguing. My gardener nearly hit me when I said I wanted to remain in Europe. I am forbidden to mention Brexit anywhere near him.”
“I have noticed that it doesn’t matter what the evidence is,; even the most intelligent people will not change their minds, so it must be coming from a deeper level.”
“It sounds as though people are trying to understand why Hitler wanted to exterminate the Jews and they have come up with all sorts of theories about his childhood. I thought it might be related to sexual fantasy but the latest idea is that it is beyond explanation in any human terms; it is evil beyond our ability to explain. It is not true that, if Hitler did not exist, someone else would have behaved the same way. He could have lost his mind when he was defeated by Russia at Stalingrad but, if you lost your mind, would you go and exterminate six million Jews and gays or 6 million other people?
The frightening thing is that it could so easily become the way that Muslims are treated. People say to me: “I don’t want to think about politics, it’s upsetting me”,
but isn’t that what the German said in the 1930s? If we don’t bother about it, we may find ourselves in a trap that we can’t escape from.
It is painful to think about these things, when we would rather think about the daffodils and the magnolia flowers, but who will protect usor guard us,when we go further down this lunacy track.”
“Yes, I see what you mean. iIt’s like thinking that know, if people are depressed, sad, worried, it’s just thought to be very, very bad and they have been put on tablets and getting CBT when, in fact, it may be appropriate to feel that way, as long as one can channel it into some useful activity.”
i“It can give you energy… I believe there’s a big march in London against racism and fascism. I don’t know wherether the big marches have any effect. dDo you remember the one against the Iraq War? One of the biggest matrches ever seen in London and yet it made absolutely no difference to Tony Blair.”
“Anyway, just give me your news before we depart.”
“I shall tell you what; I’ll give you my email address and then we can communicate about our children or our other activities: grand-children etc. Maybe we can meet more frequently now, as we don’t have to rush home to make the dinner.”
The two women hugged each other before they separated and then Mary went back to the High Street. although she couldn’t remember now what she was going to buy.It might have been an electric tin opener, or a bottle of wine, or a throw from Robert Dyas to hide under, if anybody looked through the window.
Does it matter what she was going to buy? s She just wanted to get some fresh air, and meeting old friends always a good things, especially for aged people
I’m sure Emile would agree, if Mary brought him with her in her handbag, but he was putting on weight and is a little bit too heavy to carry. It would be wonderful if Emile were very big, then Mary could ride on his back as if he were a donkey
Why not buy a real donkey?
One of the few good things I could say about the big hospital was that at least they didn’t tattoo us with numbers.
I wouldn’t be surprised that they don’t start using numbers instead of names They still love everything technological
I’m glad that they are saving water but only washing patients about one third of the time. I got one shower in a fortnight. They could have put us outside in the rain.
But then someone might have noticed so they’re just too busy.
The sun shone on Rosa Benchez ,as it had no alternative.She ran down the street in her yellow raincoat and a pair of gym shoes.Usually ,she wore a dress as well but times they are a changin’.She saw Mr Leonard Cohen walking across the road shouting,where is my blue raincoat?
Am I going mad,she wondered.Shall I call 999? Can you call 999 when you are running down Upper Street? What a pity she had no friends around to advise her.
Mr. Cohen, she said,I love your music especially, How many toads?
You are confusing me with Dylan,he murmured in a deep voice.
Well,I prefer you.Where is your Nobel Prose?
I write poetry mainly, he said shyly smiling his sheepish yet delightful smile.He certainly had good jaws.His top and bottom teeth met unlike Rosa’s.What did that signify?
Yes, she said.I know.I bought one of your books.
He suddenly began running into a pancake house and Rosa stood there wondering why he did not make a pass at her as his reputation was enormous..Perhaps he hates yellow on a woman, she muttered.Maybe he is depressed by the prospect a the next few years and yet he says his depression has gone and he has both his children nearby and grandchildren too.
But why is he here in Knittingham? she asked herself.Nobody has mentioned it.Why would he come here in late October?Why would anyone?
It is fruitless to think like this, she thought.Will anyone believe me?Suddenly she felt very sad and muddled .She took out her iPhone and rang 999.
Can you send Dave round to lower Upper St.I feel like I am going crazy.I am going into Mary’s house as seeing her and Emile might help.If not,Dave can advise me and have some tea too.
Certainly,madam, the clerk replied.Nothing is too much for your NHS.
You are very perceptive said Rosa.My name is Rosa Benchez by the way
I recognised your lovely voice.Thanks again for calling.
Rosa went up Mary’s path and rang the doorbell.When Mary appeared she said.
I am feeling very strange, so Dave is coming round.Will you make me some tea?
Of course,said Mary.Come in and talk to Emile.He fell into a pool of water so he is sitting by the fire.
It was the best of times; it was the worst of times.Her period had begun.Do you have any female protection,Mary? she called.
From what?
It’s the usual.
Where is your handbag?I used to carry my protection in that.A gun
In my case a few tissues might help.
Oh I see,Mary murmured.Did you know you have no clothes on?
Oh, dear,said Rosa.Can you lend me an old dress?
Just stay there and I shall look after you
And so pray all of us,except Len as he does not know as yet.
Turn back, live again, he said to me Do not wander in the darkness any more One rash move might give death victory
We are each connected to that tree The sunlit top, the roots hid in earth’s floor Come back, live again, he asked of me
While we live, we’ll live with dignity Not scrabbling for the gold in blood and gore One wrong step will give hate victory
The kindness of the golden light was clear And left sweet feelings in my heart’s deep core Come back, live your life, he then soothed me
Do not wonder now why you are here We’re here to live and living shall restore What our suffering self has found so dear
I had never seen the Light before Only Christ the Tyger with his roar Come back, live through grief, he asked of me That first step will give love victory
Put salt onto your scalp with your shampoo
Mary was walking down the High Street of a little town a few miles from Knittingham. Here stood tall trees, which have been hacked into stumps by the local council,They are vehemently opposed to anything that might change the town into an upmarket suburb of Knittingham. They wante it to be ‘modern’, like a small version of Manhattan or Paris, maybe, or even London. but there was not enough room to build a skyscraper or a Gherkin, like the one that Ken Livingstone had erected in London after he went to Soho
How my heart sings 