Port hostages

Some misunderstanding?
1.A man must wear a cat at all times,except in bed when he may wear pyjamas over his head if he wants to [unless his wife likes his face] I was told this by my neighbour who is now a widow.Why?
2.One must never eat pork hostages
3.Women must be immodest so that men can pick and choose
4.Men must prey at least 5 times a day except on the Sabbath .She always was bad at spelling.

However, one can pray mentally [but not while eating dinner]
6.A man must love his neighbour but is it the right hand one or the left hand one?It sounds like musical chairs.Do women love their neighbour? It’s transitive
7.A man must not convert his neighbours’ wife to a new political person
8 No-one may hero worship a golden oldie or their neighbour’s calf or heel
9 Women are both seen and heard whereas men make scenes. and gird their loins
10.If you worship a golden owl ,don’t tell anybody as the cat may be jealous.Not to mention the Divine
Advice:.If a burning bush appears,keep still and listen respectfully then run
And never kill your nanny’s goat unless she orders it