Our house

Outside owa house ‘t new umbrellas drip
~Wun is red and wun is pretty beige
They’re wa sunshades, t’weather’s hit a blip

If A wer a child A’d sail a ship
Or stamp in pools u’ water in mi rage
Outside wa house,’t new umbrellas drip

Times there were Mam’s moods ‘ed get a grip
Then it wer quite hard to re-engage
Hide wa sunshades,mother’s hit a blip

Mam wer clever but she lost her top
The hint of h’ mad sayings has no wage
Outside wa house ,’t new umbrellas drip

Nuns told me off for speaking in my voice
To get to Oxford, I must Me erase
Now I am a foreigner down here
No self, no mam, no sisters,just mi feah

This is called eye dialect: misspell words to make them sound like they do in your dialect.