This is on Patricia Carrington’s website and she is the only expert person who has drawn attention to this aspect of meditation…A few years ago I read an article by the Welsh poet Gwyneth Lewis who went to a long 2 day meditation course in a convent.She became distressed but was persuaded to stay.
She became severely depressed not long after that…. the nuns didn’t know it could be bad.
Basically, clichedly I say to myself:
Don’t do too much of anything except being kind to yourself and then to others if possible
Ah,rebellious spirit wanting space With my finger on the map I paced I climbed Helvellyn, fell off Striding Edge Spent a lifetime hanging off a ledge
Meanwhile our kind teacher twittered on Thomas Hardy, Hopkins., we were numb She never mentioned she saw my escape The way the nuns hurt me, the bitter rape
I slipped on High White Stones and almost dropped My feet were dangling off the fearsome rocks No-one knew for I was climbing last Know me please but never learn my past
How quickly life has run since I could climb Now I merely sit here draped in rhymes
I wanted to go the bathroom But the Council has closed them all down What shall we do When we can’t find a loo Anywhere in the whole town?
Some people cut back on water But that makes your urine too strong Drink diet lemonade Over which nuns have prayed Otherwise you may be shunned
The city has no fields and hedges Where peasants could find some relief Our bodies and bladders ruled By this old ship of fools Unbuild all the cities with streets
I washed my own hair in the kitchen We had no bathroom,you see We had out own lavatory In the back yardery No light in the dark after tea
I am glad that I have my own bathroom It’s much better when I menstruate I can see my own blood Sometimes in flood I wish I’d sent that to the Tate
Jack had just taken early retirement from his old job as a maths researcher. in Knittingham university.His large collection of books was overwhelming the home he shared with his excitable yet calm French wife Simone. Simone was still working at the university cleaning computers heads all day long.Now she was hoping that she and Jack could do more entertaining.If only he would get rid of some of the many books he owned! Simone left for work wearing her new pink cord trousers and a dark blue denim knit jumper with a long lasting beige foundation from Max Factor covering her deep red complexion. Jack gave the cat,Louisa, a hot bath in goat’s milk.Now instead of being grey she was cream coloured. I’ve been dyed,she shrieked politely but Jack never replied. He pondered,as he dried her what to do with all his maths books.He had thought of making a large collage but who would want it? Or he could donate them to the university or have a fire in the back garden. Suddenly he looked up and saw a very charmingly pink faced woman peering into the window. It was his neighbour Kim whose husband had disappeared last year,possibly inside a wheelie bin,though no-one was sure. Hello,Kim,did you want me?” he cried nervously I thought you might like some company for morning coffee.What a pretty cat.what is her name?” Louisa was wary of Kim,Maybe the purple trousers and orange jumper might give the cat an epileptic fit… she was a sufferer, just like St Paul.She hoped to be converted but so far was disappointed.She longed to see a vision of heavenly cat food in the sky. Can cats go to Mass? she mioawed to Jack. Yes,but they can’t have Communion,he responded furtively Well,we don’t eat bread but I love wine! I’ll mention it to the Pope next time I see him,Kim said with a roguish smile.Her make up looked to be waterproof as the drip in the ceiling was right above her head and heavy rain was falling yet her face did not change at all.Was it plastic coated? But Louisa,you would have to confess your sins.All your sins I never did a thing wrong in my whole life ,the cat replied haughtily. Well,you know the Church is only for repentant sinners,so if you never sin,you can’t repent. so it follows indubitably that you can’t join the Church!i studied Aristotle once so I get all logical with emotion.I only wish I’d got to Wittgenstein..I could have loved that man….though now I seem to recall he was gay…still,who knows? If that were true about the Church,would Jesus be allowed to join? Certainly not.He was perfect and also he was Jewish.So why would he want to join a Christian church? As he began it, he might like to see its holy life,Louisa purred loudly. Really,I think this is a very odd conversation murmured the parrot,Felix Semper. Not so odd,responded a tall dark man who just appeared from nowhere. I am called Jesus he said,but I’m from Malaga. In Spain many men are called Jesus,he continued mellifluously. Is that so, cried Kim murmured tenderly. I never met a Jesus before.If you married me it would give people a shock if I said I was married to Jesus! she whispered loudly behind her hand. Marry you! Is it leap year? Women have never proposed to me before. I was just thinking out loud,she replied demurely in her soft voice. Nuns used to be married to Jesus and wore a silver wedding ring. I was educated at a convent school.That’s why I’m so very neurotic. Are you really neurotic? Jack,screamed anxiously I have a whole shelf of books by Karen Horney here.Self Analysis, is just one. I could give it to you now…. Not in front of Jesus,she muttered chastely. Have you no moral feelings? No,I’ve never had any feelings of any sort in my entire. life but it’s done me no harm.Though how would I know? I’ll ask Simone when she gets back, we’ll see if she agrees! I’m just like a computer with a human body. I sometimes think I’d like a suit of silver armour. Bless you,my child,Jesus murmured. When they looked up the tall dark man was gone. They looked around but he had left no footprints. Should we call the police?He came in with no permission! How disgraceful. How dastardly. How disgusting How damnable. How divine. How dumb. How deplorable. So on they murmured until it was time to cook lunch. for the cats and birds.What a morning,what a life. Bless us,oh Lord!
How my heart sings 