When Mary woke up she couldn’t remember where she was. She seemed to be in a corridor with no distinguishing features at all except that there was a large desk behind a glass panel with a small hole and at the desk set a large black woman.

Would you mind telling me where I am asked Mary!

Go back to bed at once.

I didn’t know I had a bed here.

Stop acting so silly and go back to bed at once. You’re not supposed to walk about by yourself.

Well who is supposed to walk with me Mary asked her?

You’re supposed to have a crutch.

I don’t believe this.

Go back to bed or I shall call the matron.

Mary wanted through a door where she saw three ladies peacefully sleeping and fortunately she found an empty bed. Unless there was someone invisible already sleeping there and the state of Mary’s mind made that quite possible as it had changed so many times

She got into the bed and went to sleep still puzzled about her whereabouts. Since she had insomnia it was rather surprising that she could sleep in a place so unfamiliar and unknown without even Emile her little black cat to keep her company.

Who is going to feed Emile she wondered and does Annie knoe where I am and why?

In the morning some people came by and one of them said

I am the consultant.

I see that you had the antibiotics but be still got your nasty cough

I am sorry said Mary. I will try to make it nicer.

The doctors walked away the consultant turn round and shouted to Mary

Have you got schizophrenia?

Do you have to shout about my personal information in public?

Well answer the question.

Mary told her that she did not yet have schizophrenia but she felt something private inside her had been invaded this public questioning. Did she look as if she’s got schizophrenia well there’s no law or rule about exactly how someone with schizophrenia might look

What a lack of respect for the old people when if they said to a middle age or young man in public are you schizophrenics he will probably punch them on the jaw. He might even call the police to arrest the doctor for defamation. Though it’s calling someone schizophrenic an insult?

Schizophrenia is caused by a sevete loneliness and mental and emotional confusion. In our present as those are not unusual states of mind and perhaps we can help each other

Speak warmly except to your consultants in the geriatric ward.

If you have ah experience like Mary why don’t you ask the consultant whether they have yet solved Fermats last theorem or whether they have found Newton’s orchard.

And Mary thought I myst remember to treat people with respect that’s even more important than treating them warmly.

We all have an inner private self that must not be invaded by other people and their aggressive ways.

Whoever we are, we have a spark of life in our soul and nobody can take that away from us there’s sometimes it feels as if they have tried to.

Sometimes they have tried very hard and during the 20th century in the era of Stalin and Hitler it’s very possible that some sparks of life were permanently extinguished and leave a sorrowful gap in the heart of Europe