Did my brain boil?

I spent my adult life in foolish toil
At least it paid the rent and saved me space
Seeing calculus, my brain has boiled

As for understanding, lose your cool
Infinitely smaller, numbers placed
I spent my adult life in foolish toil

Disappearing just as they beguile
Numbers irritate the mental space.
Games like calculus force heads to boil

Yet if we must learn al-gebra let’s smile
As neo-liberals lose the human race
I spend my life in Pascal’s counterfoils

One by one the tiny x’s file
Through my dreams to weave the demons’ lace
The holes of calculus were over-tiled.

When do we know we have found our place
Will it be the black holes of disgrace?
I spent my adult life in grey turmoil
Neither calculus nor boiling oil.