Raw emotional nightmare.

I wake up naked,

nothing protects me from the nightmare emotions

I’ve been dreaming of a dead man who is awarding prizes for poetry

I might be a winner but I don’t like it.

I thought he was dead I cried

But no they said that isn’t true although it’s now 57 years since he swallowed the aspirins

Where has he been, what has made him a judge a poetry but he never heard any?

Everybody’s looking he doesn’t seem embarrassed by his absence or his presence.

How can you be here like this I asked him but he smiled and did not speak,

He’s been following my blog from purgatory.

I tell him I don’t need you now, and when I did need you you failed me.

I am a different person now every cell in my body is different from what it was when you were alive.

So you’ve been reading poetry have you?

Is there a newspaper or a magazine that people up there could read or is it pure speculation.

I might have got an answer but I woke up.

When I’m dress my clothes seem to make a protective barrier around my heart so that the nightmare is less violence in its effect.

I’ve got my husband’s wool vest to give me aid. I hope he won’t come back as

Professor of mathematics because it was not do anything for me now yes he was envious.

A pitythat you can’t enjoy your own wifes talents.

We shouldn’t need to put others down to make ourselves feel better.

Unfortunately we do