Weapons of maths instruction

Goodness me!

Is it any wonder that the world is going to pot when one hears this.

A high school teacher was arrested today at Sydney’s Kingsford-Smith International airport as he attempted to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a compass, a slide-rule and a calculator

At the press conference, the Attorney General said he believes the man is a member of the notorious extremist Al-Gebra movement.

He did not identify the man, who has been charged by the AFP with carrying weapons of maths instruction.

‘Al-Gebra is a problem for us’, the Attorney General said. ‘They derive solutions by means and extremes, and sometimes go off on tangents in search of absolute values.’ They use secret code names like “X” and “Y” and refer to themselves as “unknowns;” but we have determined that they belong to a common denominator of the axis of symmetry with coordinates in every country. As the Greek philosopher Isosceles used to say, “There are three sides to every triangle.”

Pies in the sky

A hamster,damn it!
Where is a green itch?
Where does glass go?
Rotter,damn.I could swear myself.
I’ve done Dee a favour and more
The isle of Wight is changing its name soon as people can’t spell Wight.Why is it not White? I think Grey is better
The isle of Dogs has to let cats in
Blackheath says it is having electric lights put all over it.
Well, who was the Carl in Carlisle and who was the Ull in Ullswater
Don’t mention Pen’s wrath.
I used to hear Mum saying Shap fell.But to whom?
Loch Lomond is changing to Loch Lowmood as the people who fell in are not happy any more and soon will be dead
Why are all the moors in the North?
So Erin is gay?
Wood Green what?
What is greater about the edge of London?
Don’t go where I have gone

Lucian Freud

The language your forefathers spokes

Dwells in your images.
Faces bleed with feeling.
Bodies rise out like rocks.
Your self-portrait sings
Me,myself.I am.
When God spoke from the burning bush,
You took the flame and ran

Posted in free verse,

Fish dancing with the daffodils

I flindered lobely as a blouse
That sleats on high o’er biles and phrills,
When at a seance I saw a fowl
The ghost, of hilden waffotills;
Depide the blike, Coneath the blees,
Pluttering and strancing in the frieze

Conpentred as the hores did pont
And swondleon the mokiway,
They briched in never-blinding stine
Along the gargins wovt a rey:
Ten thousand jaw, I ater a flounce,
Wessing their shids in glightly spance.

The Webs deside them panced but loy
Out-did the sparkling waves in schlee
A waite could not clutt ie glay
In juch a ferund timpanee:
I glazed- and jazed- but little ploat
What gealthy wasps shrew thlee had cloght:

For poft, when on my louch i pi
In racane or in trensive slood,
They flush upon that innard plie
Rich is the blass of molitude;
And then my tart with leisured gills:
Fish dancing with the daffodils

Like dead birds

Like dead birds the naked children lie

There is no flesh upon their tiny bones

How can it be a Sun shines in the sky?

I understand the many reasons why

In such a place the sun shines in disguise

For any children Auschwitz was no home

The hawks fly on,the silver moon will cry

Frozen into sculpture tears won’t dry.

Little birds and little bones comply

There is no heaven on earth and we know why

Alive but without permission

Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

Doctors reports

Between you and me, we ought to be able to get this lady pregnant.

She is numb from her toes down.
By the time he was admitted, his rapid heart had stopped and he was feeling better.
Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
She has had no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.
The patient has been depressed ever since she began seeing me in 1983.
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