https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/how-to-keep-your-brain-healthy-during-retirement-from-expert

https://www.nytimes.com/2022/06/28/magazine/secret-wronged-resentment-ethics.html

We’re entitled, absent special considerations, to feel and to express resentment when we are wronged. Indeed, you aren’t treating people as responsible for their acts if you don’t respond to them with the appropriate “reactive attitudes,” as the philosopher Peter Strawson called feelings like resentment. Your elder sisters, you note, grew up without the financial stability you enjoyed and experienced the kind of corporal punishment that was once the norm and that you were fortunately spared. Yet these historically commonplace circumstances aren’t known to turn people into devious schemers. So your resentment is merited. If your aim is simply, as we say, to get it off your chest, there’s no moral reason

From Wikipedia 

When I was about 3 years old,my parents took us to a park in another town
It was very pretty.Then we went to the bus stop to go home.
.I sat in the front seat and I think my brothers were further back along with my  parents
The bus drew up at the bottom of our street, and my dad was busy helping Mum
with  the push chair and my sister
.I just sat where I was.I saw them all  sstanding on the pavement
Suddenly just as the bus set off, they realised I was missing.I can remember seeing
Dad running after  the bus .I felt no emotion.
At the next bus stop,Dad got on and took me back to  the  family
I can’t   understand.Why did I not feel anxious? Did I want to get away
from them? Did they slap me in the park? It was very  common then to beat little
children but I didn’t feel distressed
I will never know why I did this.And Mum and Dad have died.
I can’t remember much from that time.We had no car so we often went to Parks on Sundays

As Mary

ate her topside with green peas,she gazed out of the front window where a police car was parked.They had gone to speak to her neighbours.Her neighbours had 23
dogs and a dead cat .all in the back garden for recreation and making holes in fences or other places
When Mary had come home from the delightful dentist she had been attacked by 5 of the dogs on her own patio
who were bored with their own garden so has made a hole in the fence as was their wont.
She sat silentky her mind brooding about animals,and their force, as she ate the last roast potato and wondered if she had a pudding
Suddenly a cold wind seemed to blow across the room as Annie her delightful neighbour
had run in without closing the back door firmly
Hello dear.Put the kettle on for me, Mary ordered Annie
I am sorry,Annie said,I have lost weight but even so the kettle won’t fit me
Why do you take things so literally,Mary asked?
I am trying to be funny, Annie muttered indecisively, her blood red lipstick melting down her chin and dripping onto the floor
Good grief, what a mess,Mary said.Hang on, your lips are bleeding
I keep biting them,Annie revealed.
Why?
To stop myself screaming at those people with the dogs.What will you do?
Her mascara from Mix Vector in dark brown began to melt and created streaks across her rose beige moisturising foundation from Bess of Arden
Are you crying,Mary asked curiously
I must be.I have tears in my eyes.I am over-identifing with your feelings.
Empathy has its limits,Mary said sweetly>I phoned the police and they came here
They were amazed he has 23 dogs.They have gone to see him.
How can they afford to feed so many dogs?
Oh,I feel faint,ring 999
In ran Dave the bisexual, transvestment paramedic all dressed in tartan
Why are the police here, he asked anxiously
It’s about the dogs attacking Mary.
Shall I make some nice strong tea,Dave asked wisely
Good idea, said Annie
How is Emile taking this?
I’ve sent him to my sister’s for a break,But I miss him
Goodness me, what a terrible time you are having
They all went into the lounge and sat down on the grey high backed armchairs
Here is the tea,Dave cried as he put the tray down on a low table.Don’t let it go cold~
Shall I give them some cake, he asked Mary?
Why not, she answered.See what you can find
It is very hard if neighbours attack you,Why, I’ve even read about murders at times like this,Dave cried.
Let’s see how it goes,Mary said quietly.They are not fools
I hope you are right,Dave said wisely
Rolling Stones never get mopped
Evert cloud has a silver lining~
When glum ,keep mum
Ah
Amen

https://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/22/health/for-some-psychiatric-troubles-may-begin-with-the-thyroid.html

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/05/16/magazine/the-mystery-of-the-wasting-house-cats.html

Doctor,I think my husband has something wrong with him.
Thank God,I thought he was dead.
Doctor,I have a pain in my groan.
Oh,do stop moaning.
Doctor,my head feels strange.
Can’t you just laugh it off?
Doctor,why don’t you do give examinations to your patients
They have degrees already.
Doctor,where is the receptionist?
She’s at a reception.
Doctor,you look worn out.
I shall take two aspirin and see myself in the morning.
Doctor,I feel ok today.
I must find out for myself.
Doctor,my husband is in the waiting room.
I’ll feel him later.
Doctor,I told the priest you were the worst doctor in town
Well, how do the others do it?
Doctor,I can’t sit here all day.I have to go to work.
What is it you do?
I train crocodiles to become vegetarian.
How about men?
No,they are very hard to train
Doctor,you look pale.
It’s my white blood.
Doctor,what is my diagnosis?
It’s all Greek to me.

Aa

I’ve found there are terms derived from Art than can be useful in altering our perceptions and maybe making us forget our woes and feel more at one with the world.The most common and underrated one is,

Most people are aware that when we look at a street or a row of trees we see them as differently shaped when we look at them from different positions.But we don’t see it can be used as a metaphor

I can imagine children think they are seeing a totally different place altogether

And furthermore to young children buildings are alive.Windows are eyes, the door is a mouth.So they seem to be looking at us.
When we grow older we invest the world with less of our imagination.So a pavement cracked and marked is fascinating to a child but is ignored, not noticed as we adults rush ahead trying to get things done

I think it is worthwhile to try to regain some childish vision and see more intensively what is near us.And who.

When we are unhappy it is good to get out of our thoughts and put our eyes and ears at the service of what is not ourself.I sometimes watched ants running up tree trunks.I wondered what their life was like.I believe injured ants are carried back to the nest.Perhaps they have a group identity.
See the brave grass growing in a crack in the road.
In a way, the environment IS ourself when we are little and we play outside the front door
.For me, it is the hills of my childhood that evoke a sense of identity, a me-ness in me.
So to be a refugee or a displaced person must be very painful in more ways than we think.
As well as literally moving about to alter our perspective, we can also change our minds by trying to imagine what the lives of other people are like.
I find literature and novels especially are good for this.Great writers know more than psychologists.

So we can develop sympathy or empathy for others by reading.Many of us know a little Shakespeare and can identify with Hamlet or Macbeth, even King Lear.These works provide furniture for the mind.
And what do iPhones provide or texting

Should we be worried that a book written in poorish prose like 50 shades of grey outsells the Bible?
The stories of love, murder, savagery, mysticism are more interesting than these feeble writings read on Kindles as we commute to work.
Sometimes pretending to be a lawyer and making a case out for something you personally disagree with is a way of learning to see more widely
Because that really matters to everyone and not just the troubled or isolated

Let your lips meet gently,

the top one resting against the lower,

touching with tenderness

your own skin to skin.

Forefinger propped on chin,

I let the others dangle,

like leaves on a branch;

how softly gravity tugs them downwards.

Let heart beat quietly,slowly

as the blood circulates

carrying its music,

a river,

following the path of least resistance.

How the blood vessels receive willingly this flow,

touching it kindly as with tiny open fingers,

helping and being helped.

How the hair on the head

floats

on the breeze,

like tentacles of an octopus

waving goodbye.

Top eyelid loves the lower one;

as we blink they touch

like lovers kissing swiftly

behind a tree.

and how the light comes in

we see a world.

[mine may not be yours,]

but the blink of my eyelid

sends waves through the air,

so we’re all touching and being touched,

lips kissing each other,

kiss all living creatures.

skin to skin.

air to air.

And inside us,the rich darkness

of creative night

transforms,in turn,

these touches

into dreams.

A little world, a new world,love invents

With a warm embrace we pay the rent

The work is easy when we start to pay.

Our little world gets bigger day by day.

The central heating is the warmth of life.

Yet when we’re betrayed we feel the knife.

Why does rage and helplessness cause grief?

If my love is stolen, who’s the thief?

The excitement of the new, romantic love.

Is this real like heaven up above?

It seems that marriage takes such work to grow

Even little problems make us foes

Remember Toby and his little boy.

The Cancer took his life when Fred was four.

His wife was bearing him another child

Jack was yet unborn, when Toby died.

I saw Jack dancing with his brother Fred.

We are each other’s family, Alice said.

Three seems more significant than two.

Thank you Toby for the love we knew

At the schoolgate pregnant Alice stood

No other mother spoke, yet she made good.

Oh, sweet my heart, let nature dissolve me.
In her deep greens, I am allowed to be.
While in the city politicians cry
From my lips, I hear a solemn sigh.
Oh, foolish world that foolish men can see.

What torment that we need society
And cannot dwell like birds in winter trees.
Or like the spider weaving webs defy.
Release my heart, let nature dissolve me.

The rich are common in momentous fee.
Unlike the insects and the fur-clad bee.
For all of us, our end is sweetly nigh
Enchanted as the dove that homewards flies.
Be comfortless in notoriety,
Oh, cease my heart, let deep green digest me

When He Stood Up Quickly, He Sometimes Fainted. What Was It? https://www.nytimes.com/2022/11/30/magazine/orthostatic-hypotension-diagnosis.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

Written November 15, 2015

Why your vagina shrinks at menopause and what you can do about it [Don’t ask ]

How to handle things.[what sort ?}

Why or how your finger length reveals your gender
[Surely easier just to look at the bosom/ chest?}

Which microwave to buy [Making unstated assumptions;some of us either have none or may have stolen one]

Why you need both metal and silicon whisks [
I thought it was breasts just for a moment; now there’s an idea]

Why you need to keep lots of frozen pasta in your kitchen
[Try turning off the radiator first and checking the ovens]

Which six cookery books are the best? [Look up restaurants on your smartphone instead] I wonder how many this person has checked.I find ones written for catering colleges are better and cheaper.

Why you should never take a bath
[I find a handbag is quite sufficient].

How to entertain at home. [Fall out of bed?]

How to keep your husband happy [Freeze him?]

Why you should never forget your wedding anniversary
[Am I married?]

How to have the best number of children
[ Yes, it’s all under our total control]

How to keep your teeth super clean [Stop eating and die?]

Are you bored of sex? [No,I’m bored of London]

How to cure loneliness.
[Buy a microwave and some cookery books]

How to get your bounce back
[Buy a dunlopillo mattress?]

Should you take vitamins?
[Where to?]

The owl can see with wide and narrow view
Focuses both poets and artists knew.
The broad sweep on the canvas makes a place
Where details and designs can have their space.

What God endowed the owl with such excess;
When all her progeny enjoy such bliss?
I think, where is the snake with frightening hiss?
What startling accident created this?

Eagles,hawks and owls must kill to eat.
No blandishments nor kindness make them sweet.
What God could make an Eden this deceit;
Where lambs are snatched up while their mothers bleat

So God himself destroys to fill his leisure;
Such fearsome revelations show his measure

For Some, Psychiatric Trouble May Start in Thyroid https://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/22/health/for-some-psychiatric-troubles-may-begin-with-the-thyroid.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

https://psychscenehub.com/psychinsights/thyroidandmentalhealth/#:~:text=Problems%20with%20your%20Thyroid%20gland,important%20but%20little%20known%20facts.

My polyester trench coat looks real swell
But inside it, I feel as hot as hell.
And when the storm hit, I found out
It is no raincoat, I have no more doubts.

Which of us desires to dress for war?
This is what the trench coat was made for.
British soldiers on the battlefields
Died in mud locked trenches for what yield?

Do we want to know the Middle East
Was divided by the “conquerors ” at their feast
France and Britain split the old Empire
We see from that the rise of Herr Hitler.

The war to end all wars is on stage yet.
Go hang these trench coats round the scapegoat’s neck

“British women can’t cook”

The Duke of Edinburgh:

“Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed” (during the 1981 recession).

“You are a woman, aren’t you?” (in Kenya after accepting a small gift from a local woman).

“If you stay here much longer you’ll all be slitty-eyed” (to a group of British students during a royal visit to China).

“You can’t have been here that long, you haven’t got pot belly” (to a Briton he met in Hungary).

“Aren’t most of you descended from pirates?” (to a wealthy islander in the Cayman Islands).

“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test” (to a Scottish driving instructor).

“It looks as if it was put in by an Indian” (referring to an old-fashioned fuse box in a factory near Edinburgh).

“Still throwing spears?” (question put to an Aboriginal Australian during a visit).

“There’s a lot of your family in tonight” (after looking at the name badge of businessman Atul Patel at a Palace reception for British Indians).

“The Philippines must be half-empty as you’re all here running the NHS” (on meeting a Filipino nurse at Luton and Dunstable Hospital).

Prince Philip to European aristocracy is what Donald Trump is to American liberal democracy: an embarrassment – the men who flaunt the ugly truth from under the thin veneer of their bourgeois etiquette.

There are other even more remarkable gems that the BBC has of course not listed but others have. But these should suffice.

Priceless racism
BBC’s transparent attempt at whitewashing notwithstanding, Prince Philip’s racism is actually quite priceless because it comes so naturally to him. He is not faking it. He is not trying to offend anyone. He is offensive. This is he. This is who he is – and the long panoply of his racist, sexist, elitist, misogynistic, class-privileged and unhinged prejudices is a mobile museum of European bigotry on display.

The Duke of Edinburgh has done the world an extraordinary service by being who he is, by staging generous servings of his bigoted disposition and he is retiring happily with having catalogued all or at least most of his priceless inventory for posterity to read and learn.

Our dearly beloved Duke of Edinburgh is blissfully old. He has lived a long, rich, and fulfilling life – and may he live the rest of his racist days with the dignity and poise that he has denied others. His xenophobic bigotry is pure, his sense of class entitlement undiluted, unencumbered, uncensored, liberated from any inkling of bourgeois inhibitions. He does not mean to be offensive. He just is. He is a walking embodiment of every layered lava of European racism summed up inside one royal head.

Today people of the privileged class have learned how to camouflage their racism in varied codes and convoluted bourgeois euphemism. The kind of bigotry that Prince Philip exudes and stages is now considered rude and vulgar, old-fashioned and outmoded, presumed classed and pointed at the lower social strata. The precious advantage of Prince Philip is that he is a royal from the heart of British (and European) aristocracy. He tells it as he sees it fit.

How the Arts Can Benefit Your Mental Health (No Talent Required) https://www.nytimes.com/2023/05/22/well/mind/art-mental-health.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

Healing the Whole Family https://www.nytimes.com/2020/09/22/well/family/childhood-trauma-family.html?smid=nytcore-android-share

June 30th 2015 : Funeral of my husband

My sister died unexpectedly 10  years ago.

Pray for the dead…. it can’t  do any harm

I Know That My Vindicator Lives: Job 19:1, 23-27
A reading from the book of Job
Then Job answered and said: Oh, would that my words were written down! Would that they were inscribed in a record: that with an iron chisel and with lead they were cut in the rock forever! But as for me, I know that my Vindicator lives, and that he will at last stand forth upon the dust; whom I myself shall see: my own eyes, not another’s, shall behold him, and from my flesh I shall see God; my inmost being is consumed with longing

This is not autobiographical

How to kill the cancer without killing you as well.

How to be the murderer of these errant cells

How to be accepting when they give you more bad news

How to get your anger out when they don’t ask  for your views

Please dont ask the doctor please don’t ask the nurse

I learn the diagnosis and put it into verse

There’s something wrong with my DNA so the bad cells will not die

Take me to my sister dear for she will let me cry

The cancer is omnipotent, it wants to rule the whole

It’s put me into handcuffs and tossed me on the coal

There are no hierarchies each cell plays a part

And so it is with organs, the brain is not the heart

A tiny change can escalate the tempest and the storm

Yet in the centre of the beast the still small voice is calm

This is not autobiographical

How to kill the cancer without killing you as well.

How to be the murderer of these errant cells

How to be accepting when they give you more bad news

How to get your anger out when they don’t ask  for your views

Please dont ask the doctor please don’t ask the nurse

I learn the diagnosis and put it into verse

There’s something wrong with my DNA so the bad cells will not die

Take me to my sister dear for she will let me cry

The cancer is omnipotent, it wants to rule the whole

It’s put me into handcuffs and tossed me on the coal

There are no hierarchies each cell plays a part

And so it is with organs, the brain is not the heart

A tiny change can escalate the tempest and the storm

Yet in the centre of the beast the still small voice is calm

Pray Father,give me your guessing.

My guessing!Don’t you mean my blessing.

Oh,probably.Possibly..who knows.

So have you any sins to tell me?

Yes,I broke a glass jug.

Whose was it?

It was mine,Father.

Surely it’s not a sin to break your own jug?

It is if you hit yourself on the head with it!

What made you do that?

I was angry with myself…I had been committing effrontery.

Do you mean adultery?Your main problem seems to be bad language.

No,Father I never say” Fuck”

You just did.

Well I had to do.I had no choice!

That’s what they all say…if only I heard some original sin I’d find life more interesting.

Well,it’s hard to think of anything original to do especially if it has to be a sin too.

You are just not using your creativity.

All right Father,Put your hands up.i’ve got a gun.

Where did you find that?

In my wife’s handbag.

Now we are getting somewhere.. that’s threatening a priest,interfering in your wife’s privacy and stealing a gun.Any other sins?

I could shoot you,I suppose.

No.no!That is going too far.

Shall I slap you?

No… just say something rude to me.

Your sermons are the most boring I have ever heard.

Well,that’s enough…I’ve never been so insulted in my life.

You have been very lucky then… you should hear what people say to me!

Well,you are both ugly and unintelligent.I don’t know how you had the nerve to marry.

I had no choice.She forced me.But I gave in quickly in case she changed her mind.

And you have seven children.

No, they are not all mine,And they are Jewish.

How can they be Jewish.

My wife is Jewish!

I thought she was just a lapsed Catholic.

No,she’s Jewish but not even an arranged marriage could be arranged for her so she used her imagination and decided an overweight ugly Catholic would be grateful for her love,

And are you grateful?

Yes, and so are all her lovers!

Who are they?

The curate is one of them and has two children .. they look just like him too.

And does she want them raised as Jews?

She just let’s them rise naturally and go with the flow.

Do they have to wear hats?

Only in the Synagogue!

Are you Jewish too.

Yes,it’s quite handy as we have Sabbath on Saturday and then we have Sunday on Sunday if you see what I mean.

I never met anyone who practised two religions before.;

Well,I figured it would double my chance of salvation!

Well. I must speak to the Rabbi.For your penance you must give £50 to Homeless at Xmas.

Am I absolved.

If you stay any longer you’ll be dissolved!

Thank you,Father.

And take that gun away. The police station will take it from you

I didn’t know the police were armed in this country.

Well there will be when you give them your gun

• I am the widow of his soul
• Now silence is folded and put to bed
• He was worth the surprise of life
• .He stares with eyes like green diamonds.
• How can I win the appeal?Stop and tell the roses
• He blest the waters as the froze… and he got bitten in the toes
• .He has a horn on one side.. the other wore off when the bull fought him ove the cow
• ..I fill the bends in time with laughter
• With me it’s rhymes after time.
• Line after line
• Time for men…. now and then
• Rhyme still wounds those with no skin
• .A boring groan is soon tossed into the ocean.
• Did you ever get that dramatic feeling?
• Did your wife fall right through the ceiling?
• What a hole!I bet you’re reeling.
• Take it back, it’s too revealing.

• My husband has a rubber face,
  A subspecies of the human race.
  Some men have faces fixed and set;
  My husband’s face is not like that.
• He imitates our politicians,
  Just like Rory Bremner can.
  Though he has no wig or hair piece,
  He can look like anyone
• .Some nights I waken for I am laughing
  While I am quite sound asleep.
  I am dreaming of his mobile features,
  Contorted to a different shape
• .He is skilled at telling jokes.
  And he loves a good cartoon.
  If I am feeling flu type blueness
  he can get me up again
• .He has a rather noble visage.
  He gets attention he abhors.
  In the bar on King’s Cross Station—
  I was asked was he a Lord!He’s a Lord of Fun and Humour.
  He’s a Lord at Listening Well.
  He’s unique, but so are you,
  And all creatures that on earth do dwell

No longer am I rooted like a tree

I’m like a statue standing in a bog

Of all secure connections I am free

My only soulmate is a little frog

The wind may blow me over then you’ll see.

I’ll sink into the earth like ancient logs.

I’m well acquainted with adversity.

Lost in this wet earth, my grave is dug

Eaten up by worms and myriad bugs

But not tossed out and eaten by the dogs

I dwell inside this heart still ruled by love

Abandoned by dear friends and family

An unenscripted gravestone floats to sea.

All the world should grieve when I am sad.

The cats should howl, the weary homeward plod.

When I am weeping all the world should weep.

All children should cry out like homesick sheep.

And when I’m happy, happy all must be

Like travellers on the shores of wondrous seas.

When I am tired the world must turn to grey.

None must be exempt, then all must pay

When I am ill no one should be quite well

With aching pains and sickness they must dwell

When I’m restored they also must spring up.

No more of evil potions must men up

Such a world won’t fit reality.pay the awful penalty?

I must pay the natural penalty