How to be a tomato

How to marry an ass
How to faint on glass
How to Honister Pass
How to sign  the cross
How to eat and fast
How to polish grass
How to eat lip gloss
How to type on moss
How to weep and toss
How to call a hearse
How to write much worse
How  to stir a curse
How to be the last
How to lie and burst
How to win my trust