What a diatribe!

He rang me up ,  oh what a diatribe
I am the monster dwelling in the deep
I feel lucky still to be alive

He raved,he ranted,  did  our worlds collide?
I am the evil witch , he gets the creeps
He rang me up ,  oh what a diatribe

I hope the Lord will not with him abide
I relive  the tumult  in my sleep
I feel lucky  that I am  alive.

I know I ought to take   him in my stride.
If only my  knee joints had never creaked.
He rang me up , what is a diatribe?

I went to Southport just to take a ride
Do the donkeys  on the sands still speak?
I feel  blessed  that I am  now alive.

I know many people that will  shriek
As we  rarely see a duck when we feel bleak
He rang me up ,  oh what a diatribe
I  think he has a  monkey in his mind