Stan and the Yorkshire puddings

  • Stan was cooking the Sunday dinner.As usual up North it was roast beef and Yorkshire puddings.Stan was very good with  Yorkshire puddings.
    They ate them with gravy before the main course just to maintain tradition.Even Emile,their talking cat, loved a pudding soaked in thick meaty gravy..Suddenly the kitchen door burst open and in rushed their neighbour Annie… covered in blue paint.
    What’s happened to you,hinny,Stan enquired naughtily.Surely you are not house painting on  a Sunday?
    No,I never paint  thee housemyself,she responded.I was in the shed and a stray cat was up on the top shelf.It leaped off  and knocked over over this  old tin of paint.I’m wondering how to get it out of my hair?The paint,not the cat!
    What type of paint is it?
    It’s emulsion paint.
    Well,I’m afraid you can’t get it out!
    I can’t go around town with blue hair,she cried hysterically..
    Well,all I can think is,I could cut off a little of your hair.
    OK, if that’s the only way.she said,being keen on Stan’s touching her even if only on the head.
    Can I stay and eat with you?
    Of course,sweetheart.Now here are some pinking shears.
    Have you no ordinary scissors?she screeched fractiously.
    No,we lost them.But pinking shears will give a layered effect.
    Stan began cuttting the left side of Annie’s hair.Then he went around to the right.
    She looked in the mirror,The left side  is a bit longer than the right.
    OK I’ll cut off a bit more on the left.
    Oh,my God.The shears slipped,it’s gone really short!
    All Stan could do was cut the remainder of Annie’s lovely hair so it was only 2.54 cm long all over.
    Suddenly Mary came in,I didn’t know you were a hair dresser she said sardonically to her husband.
    Well,Annie got paint in her hair so I’ve trimmed her hair.
    Trimmed it..it looks like she won’t need a cut for about two years.
    Annie began to sob noisily ,terrifying Emile who was hiding behind the flour bin.
    Well,Stan answered, it will be easier to wash and dry and no need for rollers etc
    I think it looks charming.
    Why pinking shears?Mary whispered.You could have used my dressmaking ones.
    Well,.too late now mioawed Emile sarcastically.
    Well,I think it looks sweet,said Stan bravely.
    Meantime,you have burned the puddings again
    Just like King Alfred and the cakes.Men are only good at savoury and meat dishes.
    It takes a woman to cook puddings and cakes.But Yorkshire puddings are savouries.
    I wonder how Wittgenstein would have classified them ?   cried Mary enthusiastically.
    Not Wittgenstein again,moaned Stan,can’t you move onto someone else?
    Whom do you suggest?
    Try Carnap for a while.
    Oh,he’s more of a logician,Mary said defiantly,You see I love Wittgenstein as a human being..
    Are you committing adultery ?Stan demanded  dominatingly
    That’s an exaggeration,He’s dead i believe.
    That’s what they all say,shouted Stan angrily.
    But what about you and Annie?
    Well,I get lonely with you lecturing and researching all day long.
    Surely you could wait till I come home?
    I suppose so,though a harem has always been my dream!
    I think you are past it,said Mary rudely.
    That’s not what I see, said Emile quietly.
    Meanwhile Annie had washed her hair an it dried in tiny uneven curls all over her head.
    It looks quite fetching,they decided as they sat down to eat the charred yorkshire puddings.
    What an exciting Sunday especially for Stan who enjoyed touching and playing with women’s hair.
    I wonder if it’s a mental illness?
    I’ll have to look on the internet.
    Still, better than panic attacks, he thought consolingly as he carried the roast beef into the dining room where the women were discussing religious topics including a curiosity about why Christians were so anti Semitic despite Jesus’s wish for people to love each other.and besides Jesus being God,he was also a Jewish person too on his mother’s side.
    That’s interesting,Stan thought,Here people think he’s English!What a weird world it is,to be sure.
    Little children,love one another,as someone once said many years ago but humankind is still in the toddler stage of development I fear…. and going backwards too.

When words feel too clumsy

when words are not enough
to give our feelings form
music is the language
which many find gives calm

when words sound too clumsy
a look may be enough
a glance of compassion
may pull us from the Slough

when words don’t come easy
when music fails to charm
then come to me and tell me;
I’ll enclose you in my arms

gestures, touch and glances
are a language in themselves
words are not enough for us
We need  to see as well.

We embrace the silence

Underneath the silence there is peace
A stratum clear  ;a different way of life
With music ‘s just discernible  relief

In the calm we find a pure release
Love can heal the wounds of a sharp knife
We embrace the silence ,welcome peace

The self  may break ,may shake in disbelief
Render us to fragments,soul denied
Does music   give discernible  relief?

Do not bury loss and hide your grief
We mourn the parts of us  gone in a trice
Company in  silence   brings  true peace

Did you see your body lying creased
On the bed below your   hiding place?
Play with music, pray for  some relief

I see myself  lie broken in a box
A jigsaw needing time beyond the clocks
Underneath the silence there is peace
I hope the  silent music  brings relief

 

 

 

Mary writes a letter

 

  • body of water near building
    Photo by Timi Keszthelyi on Pexels.com

    The Pilchards.

    23,Sweetnames Avenue

    Knittingham

    Near Nottingham.

    England

    email: doubledutch @lovemail.com

    Dear Jane

    Hope you are keeping well in this unusually cold spring weather.

    Stan has had flu.It made him so bad tempered and waspish

    that I took up the Duraglit polish and got him to polish all the brass,

    except the front door knob, as that doesn’t come off.

    Mind you,it made the bedroom smell odd… a mistake,perhaps…

    so I sprinkled lavender oil around.

    He seems to get thinner and I seem to get fatter.

    So our average weight remains constant.

    What a relief.I’d like to be weighed as a married woman.

    Can you believe this..

    I’ve got chilblains! It’s those dratted blood vessels of mine.

    Still,I polished some old plum colored leather and wear them in the house.

    We seem to be doing polishing frequently here.. boots,furniture,apples.

    How is your new book “Nonsense:A.N.Whitehead and Lewis Carroll” coming on?

    Hope it’s progressing….to a nonsensical ending.

    I’ve got a new book of poetry coming out in April

    [from Polar bears publishers]

    It’s called,”An unpolished performance.”

    My fourth book on Wittgenstein’s cats is almost finished.

    And the publishers can’t wait for the photographs…I’ll get a friend to do those for me!!

    It gives me a change from all that polishing.

    I’ve begun to talk to myself out loud…. in the street.

    Just seeing if I can still do my old Lancashire accent.

    I suppose it might worry people but no one has said anything as yet.They may be

    afraid.

    “That which is unsaid can,nevertheless,still be heard.

    Stan is still involved romantically with Anne, our next door neighbor.

    I can’t blame him as chilblains and Wittgenstein not very romantic.

    When I think of how we used to be,it makes me smile and feel sadness too.

    I wonder if I can find someone new for a romance,myself… someone with

    Asperger’s syndrome   possibly…as I’ve just been diagnosed.It’s quite common in

    mathematicians.It may be an advantage in concentrating a lot

    I need a boyfriend with weak eyes as my clothes are all full of moth holes

    and I’m damned if I’m going to buy new ones.

    I can’t see well enough to darn but I’ve sewn the holes up neatly thus

    giving a strange pleated effect to my clothes.

    On my merino wool knitted trousers, one hole was right on the ass.

    It looks now as if I’ve been shot in the rear…

    but I can’t see it.So it does not exist.

    Sometimes in the past I would iron on those motifs like

    butterflies…but

    I think it would look odd having a butterfly just there…. or indeed

    anything else like wild rose.

    I could make a little sign saying

    “Keep clear,from my rear.This is a hole where a moth scored a goal.”

    Still,not many people are going to look there now I hope….

    I seem to have stopped knitting but am still drawing.

    Meantime I’ve just ironed some of my winter clothes as it’s still chilly..

    and am planning to iron all my pink and blue knickers now

    as I believe it kills any germs left when you wash at 30 deg.I got those colours in

    case I should change sex or is it gender?

    I wonder if I should iron the sheets?

    Could I do it while they are on the bed?

    I don’t wash them much as it wears them out and me too.

    I am going to take up baking again because Stan is getting so thin.

    I fancy a Russian cheesecake as it had a lot of protein in it.

    I have a genuine Russian cookbook and also am waiting for a delivery of a

    Jewish cookery book as I have lost mine..no it fell down onto my head last week

    .God only knows where that came from.

    but I believe there were good cheesecakes as Jewish cooking has much in

    common with Russian,perhaps because once many Jews lived in Russia.I just

    made friends with one here….he is charming and like me he hates golf.

    I have got almost all the Penguin cookery books ever printed but mislaid a

    few.

    In fact it’s quite hard to get into the kitchen

    with all these books on the shelves.And a little food.

    I was comforted to read that the parent’s of John Burra,the artist,

    had books piled every where in their large house….

    and he was very untidy too.

    So all I need is talent and practice and I’ll be an artist.

    After all,anyone can be untidy but not everyone will practice their Art.

    I’d like to practice the arts of love.

    They say you should love your neighbor as yourself,

    but personally I prefer the neighbor or even the milkman to myself.

    Meanwhile I’m happy with Emile our cat

    and my 500 photos of Wittgenstein.

    I shall make Stan a lemon sponge pudding.

    That is the love he wants…Food.

    “If music be the food of love
    I’ll cohabit with a pure white dove.
    And while he coos and sings for me.
    I’ll try not to :fall out of the tree,
    Get stung by a bee,
    Have psychotherapy
    Make more enemies,
    Let my thought free,
    Hurt my knee.
    Let moths frighten me.

    Well,time for some tea.

    Now Jane, please write to me soon.

    I love to see your so strangely beautiful handwriting

    and to hear about Whitehead and Cambridge and all the weird dons.

    I hope it’s not too damp and cold there near that river.

    Keep warm and make a note of any intriguing happenings to relate to me.

    And anything beautiful you can see or hear.I hope Edward is writing

    regularly..where is he doing his research now… did you say Stanford?

    Maybe you should install Skype..then again,perhaps not as you would have to

    wash your hair too much… and comb it too…perhaps we could wear wigs.

    Do write soon,

    Love always,Hate now and then

    Mary

  •  

 

Haiku and economics

close up of coins
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

https://www.economist.com/prospero/2011/01/12/on-haiku-and-the-invisible-hand

EXTRACT:

Even Adam Smith  might have approved. In exploring the links between poetry and economics, Mr Ziliak’s essay (a spin-off from a longer academic paper published in 2009) recalls Richard Holmes’s book, “The Age of Wonder: How the Romantic Generation Discovered the Beauty and Terror of Science”. Holmes, a biographer of Shelley and Coleridge, sought to dispel the notion that romanticism and science always inhabited separate spheres. Instead, they shared “a common ideal of intense, even reckless, personal commitment to discovery”. Whether exploring a cranny of the mind or mapping the skies, the romantic poets and scientists were united in their ideas, and the feelings and language that framed them.

Mr Ziliak posits that a greater relationship between poetry and economics should exist, that it is “economists who can learn the most from poets about precision and efficiency, about objectivity and maximization.” This may be a stretch, but Mr Ziliak is more convincing with his larger point: that feelings and language play too big a part in our lives to not be used when considering the world around us—even something so dismal as economics.