Arrested

She threw his ashes  off the old bridge in Ponders End at exactly 3.15 p.m by her gold watch with its quartz battery
Thank God, that’s over, she thought  but hell, she saw a police car drawing up
Excuse us,Madam the taller blonde one said carefully
What now? she snarled with fire  on her cheeks that was partly   Boots own brand of blusher Red Glory Creme Blush (£3.99)
The mortuary got the ashes mixed up and your husband is still there in his birthday suit
You mean after I’ve just paid £2,00 pounds to the Co-op Funeral Parlour to cremate him
Just give us the casket back and we  will pay for re-burial.That is the ashes of a murder victim unrelated to you,we believe
As she looked down she could see the casket stuck between 2  huge rotting bags of Flour  from the nearby  antedeluvian Wright’s  Flour Mill by the River when at  the Indistrial Revolution  we began to use water power instead of horse power
She pointed to it her face red and angry with more fury than seemed human or even satanic
The policeman took  out a Warrant on his credit card
We are arresting you for fly tipping in a place of unnatural ugliness
But how did you know where to find me? she whispered fearfully
That’s what they all say, he murmured.
This is where all  the hated relatives of the widow are flung,;in your case it is your husband or so you believed
No, he was not.We never got married legally
We’ll see what we can find, but in any case choking a man to death in A and E is no accident.You should do it at home if you have to
Next time I’ll  do it in the Cardiac Unit, she said wisely
.And I plan to marry a woman as soon as I can.
As they took her away, her purple velvet coat opened  to reveal she was wearing nothing but her silked underwear in light cerulean blue.Make sure your coat has buttons that fasten in future
Oh, I should have listened to Mother.I would  have felt better in a woollen vest especially in jail.
Will they give me some clothes?

A bit late to think about that now, say all of us