What with radiation , the  lasers and knives

The doctor tells me I’ve  got cancer
It’s not urgent he told me today
There are thousands of people all waiting
Is chemo  on sale at Ebay?

Our shopping list would be longer
What with radiation , the  lasers and knives
But men could lie down in the car park
Leaving the work to  their wives

They give you a  leaflet  on carving
And removing the  moles from your arms
It’s not clear about stopping the bleeding
We might die there and then from alarm

To get more radiation than normal
Walk nude in the sun at midday
It will   help men who  like to be prostrate
But give melanomas  more chance to display

Brexit has caused nervous breakdowns
But stitch yourself up with this wool
Cancer is now the new normal
As the hospitals are  always full