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Take your cardigan, cut the sleeves off and wear them on your lower legs unless you are thin.In that case wear them on your head
Wear the cardigan as a waistcoat over a woollen man’s vest
Wear a skirt of a differnt colour to show off your leg warmers
Wear 2 lots of underwear but if fat like me,wear less.
Remember dark plum and burgundy are very sad colours.Why not wear pale pink?
If yoiu get a down coat you can use it as an eiderdown too.
Make a few holes on your coat with a knife.It’s the new slashed jeans effect unless you are homeless.
Get chest pain and go to A and E.They will keep you in till Monday unless you die.Hospitals are very hot I find.They provide open back nighties free in case they need to see you naked
Wear a hat or a wig Become a Jew like Jesus was.
Scrub the floor if you are cold.Ditto the ceiling.
Buy a doll.It’s never to late to play mummies and daddies.If you have a a partner
How my heart sings 