Your new book

  Alfred by Kathryn

My dear Helen

Thanks for sending me your new novel. I am unsure  whether the main  character is meant to be me.I have worn Viyella nightgowns in the past but not when holding a dinner party.If I wanted to attract a man I would wear a dress from Artigiano and only speak about art and music not differential equations and quantum, theory .
As you never passed a maths exam after the age of 12 I doubt if you know what a differential equation is.It has no connections with  bicycle gears.I think it was very bold of  you to put that in.But I cannot deny it is fancified garbage which will be suited to only people who failed maths O level.
It’s mental effect  effect has been akin to eating a bag of Worcester  permain apples which are about to  go mouldy in a park where there is no public lavatory
Please. refrain from sending me your  next novel if you have the stupidity to attempt another.I would think a cookery book would be more  suited to your writing style.. ……making lists and giving orders to all and sundry, to use a cliche….. that’s the other thing.Never have so many cliches been used by one author  to such effect since  Mrs Thatcher’s co writer  wrote  her St Francis special or Winston Churchill rallied Britain after Dunkirk and saved the world

I prefer lemon mousse to  sour apples or grapes

All fondest love as ever

Adrienne Priorjki
.MA Ph D [Romania]  MA D.Phil {Oxford] B SC [Birmingham] MD {UCH}

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