God learned English as a foreign language

I went to confession last night.
Did you really?
Yes,I wouldn’t tell a lie.
So who you tell,an enemy?
I told the priest.I said,I am resentful.
He said,Why?
I said,sorry. I meant I did something unprintable.
He said,Shall I guess?Is it animal,vegetable or mineral?
I said,No,human.
He said,humans are animals.
Yes,Father,I said.How did you know? Animals can’t speak.
He said,you have wool on your coat.
I said,Well it is winter.
He said,so you rollick with a sheep just to keep warm.
I said,What on earth are you talking about?
He said,I can read between the lines.
I said,But is that moral? Should you not read on them..?
He said,Well get on with it.
I said,What, here in church?
He said.Well the confessionals are here.
I said, You want me to bring the sheep here
No,he said,for God’s sake tell me your sins.
Then we heard a voice shout.
Get out,the both of you.
so God is Irish then… not Jewish?
No,he just learned English as a foreign language from an Irishman.
It’s unusual for an Irishman to speak Hebrew.
He was an irish Gnu.
Gnu, don’t you mean Jew?
No,do you?
Yes, their jokes are so good… it’s what some might call gallows humour.
None so bereft as those who do not sue.
Well,we have no money to sue anybody now….
Then for my penance I have to learn to knit.Is it hard?
I said,No,it’s just a matter of time and effort.
In that case I’ll just go to hell in a handcart.
Why bother when it’s right here on earth?