Emile sweeps the streets

Mary was making her supper.She put a pan of chickpea dahl onto the stove
 Fortunately the heat was low
Emile decided he must watch the pan as Mary had burned eight in the last three years
He wondered what  to do if it  began to smell odd.
I suppose I could bite Mary’s  ankle ,he thought.But she might kick me.He decided to ring 999
Hello, my mother has set  a pan on fire and I have burned my  foot.Can you send Dave please.
You have a strange accent.Where are you from?
I’m Albanian ,he boasted
So is your mother Albanian?
No, it was my father and we don’t  know his name.
Well, it sounds suspicious.Are you an illegal immigrant?
No,it was all legal.Except they weren’t married and as mother is English I believe I have the right to stay
Oh,I wouldn’t be too sure of that.When Jesus  applied for asylum they sent him straight back.
Where to?
Wherever his father lived.
So that’s why we never saw him again!
I can’t keep talking like this.I’ll send an ambulance.
OK, said Emile.
Dave the paramedic ran in wearing a trench coat and trainers.
What’s happened?
Mary has left this pan on.She’s writing again
Well, it seems she has also left some bacon cooking.Good thing she has you , Emile.
Mary walked in
What’s happened?
They are threatening to deport me to Albania,Emile purred.I told them my father was from there.
Well, it is possible,Mary agreed.But  they can’t prove it
Let’s hope Emile is not made to wear a yellow star on his collar and sweep the main road with a toothbrush. said Dave.
It would take a very long time unless all the cats in Knittingham were sent there as well.
Why doesn’t the Council buy a vacuum cleaner,asked Emile?
That is the least of our troubles, muttered Dave.
And so say all of us